Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps
by PineTranio
Summary: **COMPLETE** Five years after Seeing Red, a chipless, soulless Spike has a new life, friends, job and unlife is good. Then, the Slayer tracks him down in Buenos Aires. Can they get along and stop the threat that takes them to England and to the Council?
1. The Proprietor

Disclaimer:  It is with my deepest regrets to tell you all that I do not own Spike or his body or any other part of the Buffyverse.  Joss and his band of merry people have all the rights.  The new characters are mine though, so no touch, no touchy..

Distribution: If you desire this story at some point, ask me first.  Otherwise I will be a brassed off author J

A/N: The title of the fic is taken from the song of the same name sung by Doris Day. The band CAKE did a cool cover, but it's the other version that inspired this fic.  

Feedback is so much appreciated as this is my first posted fic and I would love to hear what you all think.

_Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps__  
__Chapter 1: The Proprietor__  
_

He had heard rumblings, rumors from some of the slack jawed demons that came in at happy hour, when they were guaranteed to have an audience. Yes, he heard their whispered tales, but didn't put any stock in them.   
The speculation was that a tough senorita was in town kicking major demon ass. She was described as a short, blonde and beautiful. Sometimes, she was a tough senorita with jet-black hair and a machete. This menace has been everything from a child, the devil incarnate, to his own former description, bleached blonde male draped in leather. 

For the first few years he did paid attention. He believed the rantings of the pathetic creatures he'd never keep as minions. His undead heart would swell at the mere thought of her presence being so near. He would wait till almost dawn, walking the streets of Buenos Aires hoping to catch that scent of vanilla, confidence and the supernatural all wrapped around each other. He knew that combination, that tortuous aroma that filled him nightly, driving away all rhyme and reason.  
And so, with his heightened senses he waited, stalking the night for any sign of her. But she wasn't there; she was never there.  
After one too many nights of patrolling, all in vain, he killed the dream. If he lived till the end of the world, he'd never forget her. Never feel that way about anyone ever again. But, it seemed as if the awful apocalyptic moment was a long way off, so he needed to fill his nights and even his days with something, something to pass the time.  
And then, Joaquin, his beacon, died, leaving him, of all creatures, his club, La Luna Loca.  
And still the demons' talk of a mysterious woman burned his ears. But that was all. He felt nothing for it anymore. He welcomed it for the customers and the money he made, Joaquin would be proud.  
So, when one of these snitches claimed to have seen her, _the _Slayer, he laughed. Why would she be in Argentina in the first place? Despite the protests to the contrary he refused to give in. He didn't want to dwell on his past. He was happy, for the most part. And content, for the most part. He was lonely though. He would stretch across his bed at night to touch her, kiss her neck, only to have the dream condemned by some other woman's sighs at his cold caress.   
No, he had no faith. Why would she come? She wouldn't, long and short. So, he downed a shot of tequila and submitted to Carlotta's plea for a dance.  She loved this song, she always said.  He wouldn't have chosen it, not a big Doris Day fan.  But, for Carlotta, he'd do almost anything, _almost_, and that included doing a tango, a dance he did well.  


Exceptionally well. From her vantage point she saw the vampire, oddly dressed in white, glide across the floor with a long legged dark haired beauty. She was definitely enjoying herself, her arms about him, enjoying his nearness. Both let out a laugh as he unexpectedly dipped her backwards. Her fingers danced on his shoulders, his rested on her twisting hips. A slight twinge shot through her chest, making her release the breath she unconsciously held.  
At the conclusion of the dance, everyone applauded the duo and the orchestra. Spike grabbed two glasses of champagne off a passing tray and handed one to his companion. He then tapped the glass with the silver rings on his fingers. The clinking sound caught everyone's attention.  
"Listen up everyone. You should all be receiving champagne because I have a toast to make." He paused while everyone got their drinks. "A toast, to this lovely lady beside me. We all wish her well on the eve of her wedding."  
Wedding?! Well, that was surprising unless...  
"Best of luck to Carlotta. You'll need it when you marry that git over there."  Spike gestured to a table in the corner.   
Clem stood up and went to hug his fiancé. The crowd clapped for the happy couple.  
"Cheers, mates!" He gulped down his glass of champagne. "Drinks are on the house." This gesture was welcomed with many hoots, hollers and even "You're the best, Spike!"  
Buffy watched him weave through the packed club. The people revered him! They shook his hand, patted him on the back, smiles plastered to their faces.  
He was headed away from her and she followed him from her stool at the bar. Still as beautiful as ever. She could see the outlines of his muscles through his thin white sweater. His pants must have been tailored to perfection, flowing over his lean, toned legs. Tailored? Spike?  
Suddenly all of her confidence vanished. As she sipped her sea breeze, doubts raced through her head. Her heart pounded in her chest so fiercely she had to glance down to make sure it wasn't noticeable.  
"How funny," she thought, looking at her attire, "he's wearing white and I'm in black."  
She gulped down the rest of her drink, which thankfully, was free. She had to do it; she was here for a reason after all. How to get his attention without causing a scene?  She was worried about his reaction to her presence in his life again.  God knows, she wasn't too keen on being here either.  She did not hate the vampire, but Buffy had visions of him flying off the handle and starting a fight or worse, running away again. A peaceful gesture needed to be made.  

Peaceful, ha!  Their last meeting was anything but peaceful.  Buffy closed her eyes to the memory flooding forth.  It did not bring the same revulsion that once was a part of daily life.  It just brought pain, pain from a time when she was at her lowest, as was he.  She saw the look on his face when he saw what he was doing.  And then he was gone.  Gone without a trace.  And she was happy with that, for awhile.  But, over the past years, Buffy accepted many things about her life, she wasn't perfect, neither was Spike.  At the rate they were both going into the deep recesses of darkness, someone was bound to get seriously hurt.  Buffy moved out of the horrible place and it seemed that Spike had too.  She was glad for him, honestly glad.  But, that did not calm the butterflies in her stomach from doing the mambo.    


Spike stopped at a table full of his favorite Loca customers, including Clem and Carlotta. He sat down at the table with his comrades, all of whom were still sending congratulations to the betrothed. A true smile spread across the vampire's face. as he observed them. He was genuinely happy for Clem. He was his best friend after all. And yet, when he saw that jovial glint in Carlotta's deep brown eyes, his heart sank. It was something that he never saw looking back at him.  
"Got something for you, Boss," a waiter said as he put down a napkin and a glass.  
"What's this, Larry?"  
"Scotch and O neg on the rocks compliments of the striking blonde at the bar.  
Chuckles spread around the small crowd. "Spike's got an admirer. Always a ladies man," were the popular comments. Funny thing was, Spike was not a ladies man per say. Oh, he was a shameless flirt definitely, but very few women had peaked his interest enough to be allowed to his bed.  
Scotch and O, that was his favorite. He even liked it with... Then he noticed the napkin. Something was written on it. He picked up the dark blue paper to see the inscription clearly. "Sorry I didn't have marshmallows."  
Spike whipped his head around to the bar and saw the blonde. Shock overtook him at the sight of her. She smiled at him, shyly. His face was motionless. He just stared at her, his blue eyes tempted to pull from their sockets. She was there. She was real.  
"Well, look who it is." Clem's voice prompted Spike from his haze.  
After regaining his senses, Spike raised the glass to Buffy and took a sip. He was glad Larry made the drink otherwise he might suspect it had been laced with holy water. The last time he saw Buffy was not a happy memory, one he tried to suppress for the past five years.  
Buffy stood up from her stool, her offer having been accepted, and made her way through the masses to Spike.  
He turned to Clem with a look of confusion etched into his features.  What was he supposed to do? Clem just smiled at him. He was happy to see the Slayer. Plus, nothing could spoil his fabulous mood tonight.  
The two men stood as the lady arrived at the table.  
"Congrats, Clem," she greeted right before she hugged the demon.  
He grabbed her and lifted her from the floor. "Thank you so much. Oh, it is so good to see you." He placed the girl back on her feet. "You must come to the wedding tomorrow. That is if it's okay with the bride-to-be."  
"That depends," Carlotta smiled. "I insist on knowing the lovely lady's name first." She stood and extended her hand.   
"How silly of me." Clem slapped his flabby hand to his head.  
"Carlotta, this is Buffy. Buffy, the love my life, Carlotta." The Slayer accepted the woman's hand.  
"Buffy? Not Spike's Buffy?" Carlotta asked, looking at the now embarrassed vampire.  
  Buffy never liked to be thought of as a possession, but for the sake of appearances and the need to keep Spike in a friendly state of mind, she let the comment slide.  She blushed.   "Unless there's one I don't know about," she offered. Her eyes drifted to Spike and he met her gaze  
"Sit down," Spike invited, his voice masking any sign of discomfort. "I'll...go get another chair." He bolted from the table before Buffy could thank him.  
A few minutes later he returned to the laughing group. Introductions must have been made to the rest of the gang. He watched Buffy listen to one of Clem's stories. It sounded like the one about how he and Carlotta met, which was actually a funny story.  
She had barely changed in five years, still strong and beautiful as ever. Her hair was longer, the length he liked. Honestly, she could have been bald and he wouldn't have minded in the slightest. She was wearing a sleeveless long black dress with a ruffled slit going up to her mid thigh. "And here I am in white." God, she was still perfection. There was an air of sophistication about her, something she must have cultivated during his absence.  
He placed his chair in the only available spot, between Carlotta and his other friend, Sid. He positioned himself in front of Buffy, who looked up as he approached.  
"And then my pants fell down!" Clem exclaimed, finishing his tale. The entire table erupted with laughter despite having heard the punch line numerous times.   
"Who couldn't love a man like this?" Carlotta inquired giving him a kiss on the lips.  
Buffy appreciated the gesture and locked it into her memory. Carlotta was human, a beautiful human, marrying a floppy eared demon. She was happy to see the two of them making it work. Some couples weren't that fortunate.  
She looked back at the vampire who was still staring at her with utter fascination. At being caught, he merely smirked.  
"So, Buffy," Sid began. "What brings you to Buenos Aires?"  
"Business actually," she answered, knowing that wasn't what Spike wanted to hear. "Well, I'm looking for...something. And since I was in the neighborhood, I thought I'd drop in on Spike."  
"Our good ol man. Best proprietor around, he is." Everyone vocalized their agreement.  
"So, business. How'd that go?" Spike inquired as he reached across the table to retrieve his drink.  
Buffy handed it to him, their fingers lightly touching. Neither of them acknowledged the electricity the contact brought the other. They were being watched like fish in a bowl by those around them, a good reason for discretion. That, and the mental promises they each made to their psyches to remain neutral for the time being.  
"It's not over yet," Buffy confessed.  
 Spike knocked back the rest of his drink and stood. "Well, then. I'm going to make sure everything is going smoothly. I'll send Larry over with another round."  
"Going smoothly?" Sid snorted. "This joint is a well oiled machine, Spike my boy."  
"A machine full of drunk patrons," he reminded him before he left the table, stealing one more glance at Buffy.  
  
Larry came with a tray full of drinks and it occurred to Buffy she never told Spike what she wanted.  
"And this for the lady, " Larry announced, putting a wine glass in front of her.  
"What is it?" she asked, staring at the light liquid and the two cherries dancing with ice cubes.  
"Zinfandel and ice. The cherries were the boss's touch."  
Buffy smiled her thanks. "I love cherries," she said, taking the glass into her small hand.  
"He said you did." With that, Larry left.   
"I think we need another toast," Clem suggested. He raised his Corona. "To Buffy, it's been too long. And here's hoping you find what you are looking for." The intimate group cheered for Buffy. She blushed again and sipped her Zinfandel. It was very good with the cherries and the ice, well, Buffy liked ice.  
The evening proceeded nicely. Buffy enjoyed chatting with the other demons and other humans. She was even allowed a dance with Clem and accepted one from Sid. She couldn't tell what kind of demon he was. He looked human except for his webbed fingers and gills on his neck.  
"You'll have to tango with Spike sometime," Carlotta informed the Slayer. "He's quite good."  
"And she would know. Carlotta's a dancer," Clem beamed.  
"I've seen Spike dance...many times," Buffy stated.  
"All the women here clamor for it. But, he doesn't do it enough. I only got him out there tonight because I pulled out the 'It's my wedding' card," admitted Carlotta.  
"Speaking of the Demon of the Dance, where is he?" Sid wondered.  
Clem surveyed the club, but the bleached blonde was nowhere in sight. "Must be in the back room."  
"Back room?" Buffy's eyes widened. "Clem, you guys don't-"  
"No, no we don't play anymore. At least not with kittens. His office is in the back. He's probably just doing some paperwork."  
"Paperwork? Spike?"   
Clem shrugged. "Well, it has to be done."  
"But, that's so responsible," she frowned.  
"Spike _is _the boss around here. He takes is seriously, just like Joaquin before him. There's no way Spike would slack off here. He couldn't do that to Joaquin."  
"I guess not." Buffy made mental notes on all of this new information about the vampire. Spike and paperwork. Spike and responsible. Spike and Joaquin.  
"Well, you know how loyal Spike can be." Buffy nodded in full agreement.  
"Do you think he would mind if I...went back there?" Buffy wondered, trying not to come off anxious. But, she was. She really needed to see Spike alone.  
"I don't think so. You _did _come here to see him, right?"  
  
Buffy rose from the table and followed Clem's directions, down the stairs to the lower level, past the dance floor, through the beaded doorway, hang a left and he was behind the mahogany doors that said "Proprietor".  
She was about to barge in when she realized for the first time she had no right. This was his place. She wasn't there to beat him up or to have sex or have one of their self-deprecating chats. She hesitantly raised her fist to the door.


	2. A Stranger in a Strange Land

Chapter 2: Stranger In A Strange Land  
  
"It's open," she heard him call out.  
Buffy opened the door and stepped into the office. It was a rather small room, with no windows she noticed. There was one large white cushioned chair in front of a large desk. Buffy was shocked by the computer that sat there. Accompanying the latest iMac was a stack of papers sprawled before the vampire. He leaned back in is large chair and rocked back and forth. He held a piece of paper close to him, protectively.  He didn't watch as his former lover walked into the room. 

    "I was going to knock," Buffy began.  
"You knock?" Spike smirked. "Not bloody likely. Besides, I knew you were out there."  
Buffy stepped up to the desk. It was then she noticed the letter he tried to conceal.  It had Dawn's delicate hand writing on the envelope.  
"Dawn...she sent it to me," Spike replied when he noticed she saw the letter..  
"I know." Her voice trailed off as she looked at her sister's letter, so lovingly captured in Spike's pale hands. After all this time, their feelings remained the same. "She sends her love."  
"She knows you're here?" Spike questioned.  
"Yeah. She's how I found you." Spike lifted his scarred brow. "I needed to find you so I took a shot and hoped you were at the same address as your last letter to Dawn."  
"I didn't know Dawn told you that we still talk."  
"Well, she did. I know she loves you and I know you love her, so who am I to stand in the way?" Spike nodded and rose to his feet. " I have another letter for you from her. She said if you don't respond ASAP, she's not writing you anymore."  
"I've been a bit busy as of late. But, hold on there. I'm not at the same address. How did you find me?" He crossed over to the Slayer's side, but not too close.  Despite their relatively polite conversation, a heavy tension filled the air.  
"Found a demon bar there. Just needed to find the right guy to beat up, usually the bartender," she smiled, her green eyes sparkling.  
"So, what's the deal here, Slayer?" Spike asked in his business tone of voice. "I know you're not here for shits and giggles."  
Buffy's hands began to fidget, twisting the silver band in her middle finger.  "No, I'm not. I…I don't really want to get into this here."  Her eyes were all over the room as if she was looking for video cameras and spies behind the potted plants.

  "Don't worry, Slayer, everyone here is loyal to the T."

  "Well, let's just say I want your help."

  Spike raised his brow.  "You want _my_ help?"  He repeated, thinking his vampire hearing was failing him. 

  "More or less," she mumbled.

  "Why on God's damaged Earth would you come looking for my help, Slayer?"  After what I did to you, I'm surprised I'm still standing here right now, he thought.

   Buffy took a large and much needed breath.  "Spike, I know this is sudden and very out of the blue, but if you just bear with me, I promise to explain everything."  She waited for his reply.  Truth be told, it didn't matter what he said, she wasn't going anywhere… not if she wanted to silence the dreams and a certain somebody whose voice wouldn't let her be.

   "Buffy… what is this about?"

       Buffy.  Her name, on his lips, she hadn't heard it in so long.  It still made her happy all over, her name sounded like a melody flowing from his mouth.  Why he could still do this to her was a mystery, one better left alone for the time being.  "Spike, I understand the reluctance, but I came here looking for some assistance.  I'm not going to stake you in your sleep or anything."  Again, her eyes darted around the room. "I don't want to say anymore right now."  
"When then?  Where?" He shoved his hands into his pockets and leaned against the solid wood desk. He was so nervous, so was she he noted. As Buffy's green met his blue, he heard her heart race. He was thankful his heart didn't beat; otherwise it would give Buffy's a run for her money.  
"Well, since I'm a stranger in a strange land, I was hoping... you could tell me." The ol female confidence kicked into gear and she raised an assured chin.  
"Summers, are you trying to get an invitation to my place?" As soon as it left his mouth he wished he learned to think twice before speaking. It was so easy for him to slip back into a normal routine with Buffy, but he didn't want to push his luck.  
The comment did not receive a negative reaction, however. "Unless you have a better idea," she responded, not missing a beat.  
"I have a few things left to do in here, so why don't you go back to Clem and I'll meet you in about a half an hour."  
"Sounds good." Buffy turned to walk out, but stopped in the doorway. She eyed the vampire appreciatively. "You look good," she said a little softer than she anticipated.  
"And you as always," he returned. His head fell to the floor, taking in his expensive shoes as Buffy exited.  
He took in a deep unneeded breath before returning to his liquor inventory. He was about to get the wine list when Larry burst through the doors.  
"Hey, boss! You better get out there now!" he exclaimed as he choked on air.  
"What the bleeding hell is going on out there?" Spike demanded as the two ran through the back.  
"It's Mordecai. He and his boys came in screaming for the Slayer."  
Spike stopped in his tracks. If he could have gotten paler, he did. "Oh, shit!"  
"Why would the Slayer be here?" Larry called after Spike. He received no answer.  
"Just let her keep that gob of hers shut," he wished to the Powers That Be.  
Spike made it to the club in time to hear with his own ears," Spike! Where is she?"  
Spike searched the room quickly and luckily found Buffy still seated, Clem's hand on her shoulder. She wanted up, Spike could tell, but she stayed put, sizing up the situation.  
Spike took in yet another breath before making his way to the intruders. The seven foot tall red hairy demon stood in the center of the room, flanked by two-foot tall creatures and several vampires, quite the motley crew. The minions parted as Spike neared.  
"What are you doing here, Mordecai? You know about the 'no fighting' rule," Spike reminded, disapproval for the demons clear on his face.   
"The Slayer, Spike, I know she's here."  
Spike laughed, eliciting nervous giggles from the rest of the crowd. "Slayer's not here, mate. Why would she be?"  
"I don't know, Spike." The demons advanced on him. "Why don't you tell me?"  
"I haven't a bloody clue. But, I suggest you step back and make a swift exit with yer lackeys before I call out the bouncers." Spike snapped his fingers and six Fyaral demons came into view, clad in black shirts that revealed their position in bright white letters.  
Spike sensed Buffy's struggle to rise from her seat. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Clem whisper something to her. She continued to watch the scene.  
Mordecai growled. "Fine, for now, Spike. I know you have her and it's only a matter of time before I do."  
Spike snorted and crossed his arms. "And what do you plan on doing with her if you find her?"  
"_When_ I find her," he corrected. "I have a little something I think she would be interested in."  
"And what is that?"  
"That's between me and the Slayer." He stepped right up to the vampire, towering over him. Spike stood unflinching as he stared into orange flamed eyes. "Now, where is she, Spike?" Mordecai brought one of his huge club hands squarely onto the lean vampire's shoulder.  
"Did you not hear me, you wanker? I don't know where she is." He heaved the monstrous appendage off of him. "Now. Take your cronies and your ass ugly face and get out of my club." Mordecai waited a beat before stepping back from Spike. "Take some advice, Mordy. Don't mess with that Slayer 'cause she'd knock you down, cut your horns off and stab them through your throat before you could blink."  
"You don't scare me, Spike. You may be the High and Mighty around here, but don't forget, you're still a vampire and wood is wood." With that, Mordecai and his crew left the club.  
"It's alright, everyone," Spike addressed the crowd. "Someone thinks he's too big for his knickers."  
The crowd resumed their merriment while Spike went over to Buffy.  
"What was that all about?" Buffy asked as Spike flipped a chair around and sat.  
"That's just Mordecai, lil ponce who thinks he's Michael Corleoni," Clem commented.  
"Yeah, but he's more of a Fredo!" Sid chuckled.  
"I could of taken care of him," Buffy stated to Spike.  
"No doubt, love, but not in here."  
"Afraid I might break a glass in your club?"  
"No 'might' about it, baby. I know your work. I wouldn't have _had _a club by the time you were through. Besides, he's not worth the trouble killing. Bloody thorn in my side though. Sid, you sure you can't uninvited a demon-"  
"You know I can't, Spike. Joaquin wouldn't have-"  
"I know I know," he waved his hand in dismissal.  
"But, I wondered what he's got that the Slayer would want?" Clem questioned, looking from Buffy to Spike.  
Spike shrugged. "Want to find out, pet?"  
Buffy caught the old nick name and she warmed all over. It felt good to hear that word from him again; she'd missed it. She also recognized a sparkle in his azure eyes, the one that told her he was ready for a "rough and tumble."  
"Could be promising," she answered. "I'm up for some action."  
  
Ten minutes later, they were walking down the lively streets of Buenos Aires. They kept silent for the most part save comments about the evening and the people out and about.  
"Are you going to the wedding tomorrow?" Spike inquired as he led her towards, where else, the cemetery.  
"I guess so. I mean, it'd be pretty rude if I didn't. Besides, I like Clem."  
"And he likes you. He's a good guy."  
"Is he making you wear a tux?" Buffy laughed at the prospect.  
"Amazingly enough, I have to do the whole best man deal, toast and everything. He's one of the only people I would ever do all of this for." He caught Buffy's gaze. She was stunning in the moonlight, just as he remembered. "Are you going to fight in that?" he asked pointing to the dress.  
"I can fight in a dress, I have before. I even killed the Master in formal wear," she defended.  
"Whatever you say, love."   
A few more moments of silence and then Buffy needed to ask a question. "So, what kind of demon is this Mordecai guy?"  
"Jebortar demon, a recessive line hailing from the Holy Land. Big stupid oafs with about as much fighting skill as a banana. Brings nothing but trouble, he does, with his antics, just like Fredo."  
By passing the _Godfather_ comments, Buffy continued.  "And how do I kill him if I should suddenly feel the need to?"  
"Like I said before, pet; knock him down, cut of his horns and stab him through the throat," he answered matter-of-factly.  
"Easy enough."  
"Just watch out for his acidy spit."  
"His what?!"  
"I'm just joking," he laughed whole heatedly. Buffy kept walking, her insides reveling in familiarity. Things just felt off sometimes at home, especially on patrol. It just wasn't the same knowing the leather clad vamp wouldn't step out of the shadows to help her, annoy her, amuse her.  
Spike called out to her, but she seemed lost in one wonderland or another. He jogged up to her side and placed his chilled hand onto her bare arm. She jerked away in surprise; he in turn quickly removed his hand and stepped away from her.  
"I'm sorry," he apologized, his eyes' emotions mixed with shame and a dash of fear. "I...sorry," he said again as he turned to continue down the road.  
Buffy's hand shot out and grabbed the sleeve of his white coat. "No."  
Spike looked down at the foreign hand then back at the Slayer.  Before he could question her unexpected statement, Mordecai's boys leapt out in front of them.  
Buffy immediately readied herself for battle, but the minions made no move.  
"So, what is this? Do I have to bow or something?" Buffy mocked at the stupefied crew.  
Spike stepped toward one of the minions, an axe in his hands. "Where's Mordecai? He wanted the Slayer and here she is, waiting for him to deliver."  
"Well, the thing is," on of the vampires began in a thick accent. "Mordecai, how do you say, jumped ship?"  
"Where to?" Spike said with threatening eyes.  
Buffy was glad for those piercing blue eyes because the white outfit just wasn't as menacing as the black duster.  She loved that duster.  
"Mordecai es muerto," one of the two-foot ankle biters said.  
"Already?!"  Spike exclaimed.  "How did he manage to get himself killed in the past half an hour?"  The demons made no response.  

    "So he didn't jump ship, he's pushing up daisies," Buffy joked.  
"There's more." The vampire produced a very old, very large book. "He said if something ever happened to him, you needed to have this."  
Spike took the book from the vampire's shaky hands. "A book. Why is it always a book?" he asked the Slayer, who just shrugged in response. "Is there anything else? Who killed him? What did he want from Mordecai?"  
"It wasn't a 'he', it was a 'she.'"  
"She? Which she, mate?" he ground out through a clenched jaw. His patience, the little he had, was waning.  
The minion held his nonexistent breath. He feared Spike's reaction to this sudden development. Despite his resignation to evil and contract with the white hats, Spike would always be a Master vampire. "_La Princesa Oscura_.  It was Leila, Spike."  
Spike released a growl at the sound of the name. "What did she want? Did she say anything?" Spike interrogated.  
"She didn't say a thing I swear! She leapt out of the bushes and they fought and he lost."  
"Alright, get on with you then. I'll take care of it." The minions didn't need to be told twice. They ran as if they had thirty seconds left till sunrise.  
Spike turned to Buffy with pure frustration painted on his face. "Just another in a strange row of incidents," he thought, referring to his eventful evening.  
"Who's Leila?" Buffy asked the inevitable question.  
"Later, Slayer. We need to get out of here now."  
And so they did, walking to Spike's apartment as quickly as Buffy's heels would allow.


	3. A Bit of a Mystery

            Sorry it took so long to update.  Had a party weekend in honor of Labor Day.  Woohoo!  SO, here you go, two new chapters, one now and one more later on tonight. Enjoy and review please!!!

Chapter 3: A Bit Of A Mystery  
It was actually quite fine, a large one bedroom third floor apartment downtown. Every room had large windows covering the walls with wooden shudders that were, at the moment, closed. The living room had doors that led to a large terrace. Buffy noticed the lack of screens behind the glass, not the most secure abode for a vampire of Spike's reputation.  
"Nice," she remarked as Spike turned on the lights in the rest of the apartment. "You do realize that all my bags are in my car at the club, don't you?"  
"We'll get them tomorrow before the wedding," he answered from the kitchen. She walked over to the balcony doors and pushed them open letting in waves of sweet night air. It was almost seductive, moist heat wrapping itself around her bare skin.  
"Do you want something??" he called to her.  
"Yeah, I want to know who Leila is." Spike appeared in the doorway of the adjoining kitchen. "And why she's got you so angry," she added.  
Spike sat down in the full brown leather chair with a sigh. Buffy remained where she was. The breeze wafting in lifted a few strands of her hair and billowed her skirt. She was right out of one of his fantasies, complete with her trademark Slayer hands on hips stance, that pose that drove him wild.  
"Leila...is a woman-"  
"Did you sleep with her?" Buffy blurted out. She shocked herself; she didn't mean to say that out loud!  
"What?" he asked, mildly offended, mildly.  
"I'm sorry," she blushed. "I have no right to ask that. Don't know why I did."  
"I didn't," he answered firmly.  
"Did you want to?" Buffy's hand shot over her treacherous mouth.  
"Buffy!"  He was shocked by the Slayer's bluntness.  And after all these years, she wanted to know about his sex life?  Probably to make sure his was unsatisfactory, which it was, while hers was glorious.  
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It just slipped out," she apologized from behind her shield.  
"Well, if you give me half a second, I'll tell you who she is." Buffy sat down in the matching chair opposite Spike. "Leila is...a sort of Slayer in her own rite."  
"That can't be," Buffy interrupted once more. "Faith is in jail and I'm still kicking."  
"Again, half a second, please?"  
Buffy shrank into the leather like she'd been scolded by her father. "Since you said 'please.'"  
Once he was content with her silence, Spike continued. "Leila is a bit of a mystery. Somehow, some way, during one apocalypse or another, a vampire and the daughter of a Slayer had a child. Don't ask me how, Slayer, because I don't know. It's pretty near impossible from my experience on the matter, despite His Royal Poofiness and his lil spawn. Anyway, Leila is a mutt, some vampiric traits, but she can frolic in the UV rays."  
"Let me take a stab in the dark here; she's gone all evil," Buffy guessed. She leaned forward, elbows on her knees, with a new interest in this woman.  
"She's gone, period. The chit's daft, couldn't deal with the conflict I suppose, the good versus the evil. That and the Council has had her under lock and key since they found her."  
"Poor girl."  
Spike snorted. " 'Poor girl?' She is a menace, Slayer. Doesn't matter how cute she is on the outside, that head of hers is a disaster."  
"You think she's cute?" Buffy inquired, barely above a whisper.  
Spike stared at her for a moment, his mind racing behind a plaintive expression. "She's a kid, love, seventeen or so."  
"Oh." Buffy waited a beat before asking her next question. "How long has she been out?"  
"She's had close supervision or rather she was _supposed _to have supervision, but she took off a few months back without a trace."  
"And how do you know all this Council business?"  
Spike retrieved his cigarettes and lighter from his pockets. "Giles mostly. And I've run into her once or twice."  
"Giles?" Buffy's head picked up at the sound of her former Watcher's name. "You spoke to Giles?"  
Spike was stunned.  Hadn't she heard?  "You do know that I live in England don't you, pet?" Buffy gave no response. "I only come down here every few months on holiday to check on the club. I am working with your Watcher and for the Council in some twisted sense of irony. Now, that I'm not in Sunnyhell, away from 'Slayer protection,' and chipless this is how I ensure my life."  
Buffy contemplated this revelation. "So, the Council wanted you dead so you decided to work for them."  
"It's not as simple as all that. But, in essence, yes. I help Rupes and they leave me alone."  
"Nice deal," she said sarcastically. Spike nodded. "Who would have thought you and Giles working together?  And yet here you are in one piece."

    "Ha, bloody, ha, Slayer.  It's not impossible for me to get along with people, just because you and I always fought."

     "We haven't fought much yet," she said, taking in the paint on her fingernails.

     "Give it time, Slayer.  You won't always be able to stop yourself."

     She knew that, creature of habit that she was.  "What do you think Leila wants with the book?" Buffy asked, returning to the subject at hand.  
"Not quite sure, but the Watcher will." Spike rose and picked up the telephone on the side table.  
"You're calling him now?" Buffy exclaimed. Spike just cocked his head to the side and started dialing only to return it to its cradle seconds later. "Thought better of it?"  
"No.  I just remembered that you never told me why you were here. What mission do you need me for?  Watcher can help out with that one as well."  
Buffy let out a huge yawn. "We'll discuss it tomorrow. I'm here and that's the important part. I am so beat and jet lagged. Call Giles, tell him I'll talk to him at a civilized hour. Now, where can I sleep?" Buffy asked as she rose from her comfy chair. "And in what?"  
"You can take the bedroom and one of my shirts if you like."  
Buffy smiled and went down the hall to find Spike's room.  
It was peaceful and cozy, unlike his crypt. It was a shame it wasn't used more often. A large four-poster bed with white silk sheets, a corner armoire, closet, balcony doors and even an entertainment center. "Spike needs his telly," she giggled. "Wonder how he likes Spanish soaps?"  
She found his shirts in a drawer of the armoire. She opted for a black one. After laying her expensive dress on a brocade recliner, she snuggled into the mattress and sheets and promptly closed her eyes. She remained awake, however. Thoughts about her evening were prancing through her mind. She finally found him. It didn't take much to find him physically, just a few well placed punches. Truthfully, she felt like she'd been searching for him since he left five years ago.  
She wanted to find him so badly, but pride and self-preservation won out after a long internal battle. Now, she needed him again and eventually she would have to tell him the reason for her visit. But, she didn't want to dwell on that. On anything really.  She just needed to concentrate on being civil with Spike.  She was surprised how easy it was to fall back into their groove.  She thanked her lucky stars for it; she didn't want to fight, not now atleast.   


  In that place between sleep and awake, Buffy thought she heard Spike enter the room. She thought she heard him open several drawers. And she thought she felt him watch her sleep, she in his black T-shirt, seemingly unaware of his presence. When she heard the door close, she was ready to rest.  
  
"Come on, Princess. Mustn't sleep the day away," came a voice from outside Buffy's subconscious.  
She groaned her displeasure. "A few more minutes," she pleaded.  
"Fine, love, a few more minutes, but that will only leave you less time to get ready for the wedding."  
Buffy jumped out of bed. She had completely forgotten about the wedding! She raced out the door and barreled right into her personal alarm clock. "Oh, God, I have to shower, do my makeup, my hair!" She rattled off her list as she scrambled through the apartment, unconsciously treating it like her own.  
Spike watched her with amusement. Right then she was in the kitchen trying to make coffee, a beverage he had grown to enjoy considerably. While it percolated, she slowed down and turned to the lounging vampire. "Well, let's go get the car, we don't have all day."  
"You don't plan on leaving in _that _do you?" Buffy looked down at herself. She had just been running around in nothing but Spike's shirt. She felt the pink rise in her cheeks as he chuckled at her expense. "Don't worry, pet. Car's here; I had Larry get it."  
"But, you didn't have the keys."  
"Didn't need any," he grinned.  
"If you broke a window..." she began.  
"Your precious rental is fully intact. Honestly, I'm shocked you haven't banged it up yourself. When did you start driving?"  
"When I couldn't rely on Xander to give Dawn rides everywhere. It wasn't fair to him."  
"Well, your trunks are by the doors in the bedroom. Let's get you a towel and you can start getting ready."  
Spike open a small hall closet and produced two fluffy blue terry cloth towels. "How did you sleep by the way?"  
"Great, just not long enough."  
"Not long enough? Woman, you've been out for the better part of the day!"  
"I know, but you've got a comfy bed, I didn't want to leave it."  Buffy took the towels quickly from Spike's hands, not meeting his eyes, mumbling her thanks and entered the bathroom.  


     Spike returned to the living room and looked at the book before him. Giles wasn't home when he rang last night. "Must have been off with the new bint," he grumbled. "Something is definitely wrong when the Watcher is getting shagged more than I am," he told the book. He leaned into his chair, his thinking chair, and ran through his meetings with Leila again. She was strong yes, but she was still a girl. She actually seemed to fancy him until they fought and he pummeled her. Not that she didn't get her licks in as well, but all in all, she was defeated and returned to the Council. That was after her second escape.  
The emblem on the book's cover stared at Spike. He recognized it, but he couldn't place it at the moment. He was too consumed with the yellow pad of paper beside the relic. It was the makings of Spike's best man toast. Unfortunately, it was full of mostly scribbles and cross outs. He couldn't think of anything to say. Clem and Carlotta were like family to him and he did not want to botch this up on their special day. Everything he wrote sounded poofy. Then again, maybe this was a case where he could be poofy and still be respectable. No! He didn't like being poofy, not if he could help it.  
"Spike!"  
Buffy stuck out her turban head. "Spike?"  
"Let me guess, the knob's stuck again," he ventured.  
"Good news, shower's fine. Bad news, I used all the hot water."  
"Don't worry 'bout it, pet. I showered before I got you up. I figured you would use it all."  
"Oh." Buffy's head disappeared into the steam filled room once more.  
One look at the clock told Spike he needed to get dressed. Lord only knew how long it would take him to do his tie.  
  
Buffy pranced into the bedroom, clean as a whistle, steam still rising off her of skin.  In the bedroom, found Spike finishing the buttons on his crisp white dress shirt which was already tucked into his white pants. She paused for a moment and watched him.  
"Somethin' wrong, Slayer?" he asked.  
"What's with the white?" Spike just stared back at her. "You wear so much white. Did the duster finally bite the- hmmm bad choice of words. What happened to it?" she completed.  
"I still have it. It didn't go anywhere except to the closet." He nodded to the one to his right.  
"Still, why white? It's never been one of your colors."  
"You're in white," he observed, referring to the towel she wore around her glistening figure.  
"Funny," she remarked, crossing her arms in front of her chest.  
Spike picked up his tie from the bed and put it around his neck.  Now, how did he do this again?  He hadn't worn a fancy tie like this since the 1920's or so, during his fedora and spats days.  
"Can you do that?" she questioned.  
"I can sure as Hell try."  
Buffy stepped towards the vampire. "Can I-" She promptly shut her mouth and studied the plush carpeting on the floor.  
"Can you....?"  
"May I try?" she whispered. Her wide innocent expression intrigued Spike, almost more than the request itself.  
He shrugged. "If you think you can."  
Ooh, a challenge!  " I _know _I can," she corrected as she took the silk pieces in her hands.  She pulled the fabric tight against this neck.

    "Ow!  Watch it there, love.  May not need to breathe but I don't fancy rope burn."  Buffy made no response.  Her eyes were slightly glazed over, as if she was reliving a memory.  
Spike watched her nimble fingers begin their work. "Where did you learn how to do a Windsor?"  
"My mom. I used to watch her tie my dad's ties when I was little. They just looked so cute. I wondered why he didn't just do it himself. Mom said she liked to do it. She felt like one of those sitcom wives. It was a small thing she could do for him."   
Buffy's eyes never met Spike's as she reminisced. He saw her. He saw a small genuine smile creep across her lips as she thought about her parents. Untainted glee danced in her green orbs as she appraised her handiwork.  
"Perfect.  I've still got it." She smoothed the tie down Spike's chest.  
"Yes, you do," he agreed.

     They stood in silence for a moment, Buffy's hand still on his chest. She felt a sensation come over her. It was vaguely familiar, but she had never experienced it with this vampire before, only once when she was seventeen. It was as if she was being kissed from the inside out. It was intense to say the very least. The feeling must have traveled from her fingers into Spike because the vampire suddenly retreated. He stepped to the bed to get his jacket. 

     Slipping it onto his shoulders, he couldn't bare to look back at Buffy. How could he with everything he saw in her face, felt radiating off of her skin, and she was still in a towel!  And he, as any man, warm or cold blooded would, had the typical reaction.  "You are a bad vampire, Spike ol boy," he thought to himself.  Good thing for the jacket; he could maintain some dignity.  He quickly gained the strength and composure to venture into the green haven.  
"Did you hear from Giles?" Buffy asked, trying to mask her uneasiness.  Too fast, too fast, she repeated over and over in her head.  Bad Buffy.  But, what was she supposed to do?  He needed assistance; she gave it to him.  Couldn't have him going to Clem's wedding looking unruly. At the same time though, it felt good to touch a man again, feel his chest beneath her fingers.  It had been awhile now since Jackson.  Oh, God!  Did Spike know about Jackson?  Did he have any idea?

   "No, he didn't call back yet.  Must be on one of his weekend long shtupping holidays."

   Buffy crinkled her nose.  "And that was not something I needed to know, Spike, majorly gross."

   Spike shrugged.  He sat down on his bed, still unmade from Buffy's stay in it.  "So, you want to tell me why you're here now?"  He laced his shiny shoes while waiting for the Slayer to respond.

    "Well…"  Buffy began to pick at the terry cloth on her towel.  Now, wasn't the time to jump into this, but Spike deserved to know some of it.  Yeah, some of it.  "I had a dream," she said.

     Spike laughed.  "So did Dr. King.  What was yours about, peace and harmony among vampires and humans around the world?"

      "No," she sneered at his joke.  "It was about you.  And before you even think it, it was not one of those dreams!"

      "Wasn't thinking a thing, truly."  She would think his mind was in the gutter, wouldn't she?  "So, what was this dream about?"

      "It was a Slayer dream, I know it.  I can't recall all the details, but I remember clearly being told to find and follow you because you'll show me the way."

       "The way?  Rather ominous, ain't it?"

       "It's a Slayer dream," she repeated.  "Slayers don't dream about happy go lucky Lollipops and gummi bears.  So, I'm needed for a mission, I suppose it has to do with Leila, and that's why I sought you out."  She crossed her arms as she finished her bullshit, hoping it would take.

        Unfortunately, Spike still possessed the ability to see right through her.  "Very well," he grinned.  "You stick to that, for now.  I don't have the time or inclination to pry it out of you right now.  I have other things to do.  I'm going to go and try Giles again. You get dressed. We've got to leave soon," he said.   
"Where is this exactly? It can't be in any of the usual places right?" she wondered as she rifled through her luggage.  
"You'll see, Slayer." He shut the door behind him, his last word reverberating in Buffy's head.  
She continued to pull out her clothes. Lucky for her, she loved nice clothes. Several of her outfits would do well for demon nuptials. But which one? Her mind raced between the red coatdress, the black floor length wrap around or the white blazer with matching dress pants. Was it wrong to wear white since the bride will be in white? Spike will be in white too, but that seemed to be the norm now. Buffy was at a loss. Then she remembered the vanilla strapless T length flowy silk dress with the light knit sweater. She liked that sweater with its flecks of silver. That would be perfect, not white, but a nice subtle color. She didn't want to stand out too much except for the whole being human part.  
She retrieved the outfit and dressed quickly. Of course, after the dress came the hair and after the hair came make-up. Her mind again went to the other guests. Who would be there? What would they be wearing? How out of place would she be?  
She dashed out of the bedroom full of young girl insecurities.  
"Spike!" she called as she walked into the living room. He was standing with the pad of paper in his hands looking rather serious. "Spike," she repeated.  
He whirled around to see the Slayer, his Slayer, in her chosen outfit. After blinking his appreciation, he vocalized it. "You look beautiful," he complimented.  
"Are you kidding? I don't have my shoes on, my hair's not done and neither is my make-up."  
"I always liked you slightly unkempt," he smirked.  
Buffy pretended to ignore the comment. "Spike, what is this going to be like? What should I expect?"  
"You can expect to be late if you don't get your ass in gear," he quipped. He noticed her fallen expression. "Don't worry yourself. You'll be fine and in good company. But, we can't be late cause I'm the best man and you can't get there without me."   
"How's that?"  
"It's in another dimension."

Okay, are you ready for the wedding???!!!  Hope so because it's next.


	4. The Real Deal

            Okay, here it is the wedding!!!

Chapter 4: The Real Deal  
The irony of the entrance being located in a churchyard was not lost on Buffy. It seemed rather fitting to go from one type of holy pace to another. Spike took her by the hand and led her behind a large weeping willow tree. Spike chanted several words under his breath, not loud enough for Buffy to hear. He knew even Buffy's Slayer senses couldn't pick up on the mystical convergence surrounding this spot. When his password was complete, Spike took her underneath the hanging vines of the tree. 

    Darkness engulfed them. Buffy held his hand tightly as he guided her through the black.  It wasn't long before Buffy sensed a light at the end of this black tunnel.  With every step she took, the light became more intense. Then she felt its warmth on her body.  It was the warmth of...the sun?!  
"Spike?" she stopped walking and pulled him to her side.  
Spike knew her concern and was touched by the caring gesture. "It's alright, pet. Got to keep moving." To reassure her, he offered her his arm; she accepted.  
The sun was bright in the blue sky. To Buffy's astonishment, Spike wasn't dust; his skin wasn't even smoking. He didn't seem scared. On the contrary, he seemed to relish the rays on his porcelain skin. Buffy looked at her surroundings. They were outside in a glen. Trees circled the area designated for the ceremony. Chairs were set up; a canopy of wicker, vines and all different colors of roses were in the center. White petals covered the green grass creating a carpeted aisle. Buffy couldn't see the faint pink haze protecting the scene, but Spike and every other non-human could. He breathed deeply and the two entered the sacred space.  
Clem stood underneath the canopy, a mess of nervous fidgets. He smiled when he saw the two approaching. He took Buffy's unengaged hand and raised it to his lips in a most gallant gesture. "I'm so glad you could make it, Buffy. Carlotta will be so happy. She was quite taken with you last night."  
Buffy smiled. "As was I."  
"Yeah, she said it was nice to talk to a real woman for a change. Poor thing, she usually hangs with ma and Spike. But, having you here, even for just today...I'm marrying a dancer!" he burst as he went to greet other guests.  
Buffy watched him go. He was obviously a man deeply in love. "What did Clem mean by 'real woman?'" she asked Spike. "Doesn't Carlotta have any female friends here?"  
"She has female friends, but not here. She actually just moved to Buenos Aires to be with Clem. She left a lot of things behind." Spike left it at that. "Let her chew on that," he thought. Not that he wanted Buffy back. No, of course not. He'd be a bloody fool to go down that bottomless hole again. He just wanted her to think about that black and white existence in which cocooned herself. Right now, she was standing right smack in the middle of the gray.

     She seemed to notice that as well.  Most of the guests arrived by now, demons, vampires, humans alike, species she had never before encountered all milling together peacefully.  "This isn't going to be like Xander and Anya's non-wedding, is it?"

     "Hell no!  That boy was a fool to do what he did the way he did it.  Clem is more of a man than that wanker."

     "That 'wanker' is still my friend, Spike."

     "Though I never understood why.  No, Clem and Carlotta are the real deal."

      Buffy saw his gaze follow Clem as he greeted guests.  Spike looked envious. Buffy couldn't help being a little as well.  "Did Dawn tell you about Anya?"

      "Dawn tells me everything," he replied simply.

      "She and that friend of hers left town for good."

       "Her friend?  You mean Halfrek?"

       "The one you seemed to know rather well?  Yeah, her.  How well _did _you know her, Spike?"

       "That, Slayer, is a story for another day."

       "Did… you know her like you knew Anya?" Buffy asked, making sure her double entendre was clear.

       It was.  Spike turned his ice blue eyes onto her.  A choice needed to be made here.  How to respond, the truth or his typical flip remark?

       "A story for another day," he repeated.

       "So, I guess you know she left the Magic Box to me."

       "Yes, I do.  And I know that Dawn works there and Willow helps out when she's not doing computer gigs for Stuffy American and Wallis Inc.  I know that she and Xander are platonic roomies now, that Dawn's beau is not good enough for her and that you almost got married a year ago."

       Buffy blinked.  He did know everything, even about her broken engagement.  She had planned on slipping that tid bit in at some point, but she didn't want to ruin anything.  "Wow," she responded.  "And yet, I know nothing about your adventures for the past five years.  Dawn wouldn't let me see any of your letters.  She covets them."

       "I asked her not to show them to you," he confessed.

       "Why? When you got to hear all about me and my failures?"

       "First off, I honestly didn't think you would give a damn after what happened and second, I figured if I ever saw you again…"  He trailed off and studied the soft petals beneath his feet.  After a gentle sigh, he looked at her, "I would have something to tell you."

        "Well, I'm here.  I see you.  You see me.  You look good in sunlight," she unexpectedly admitted.

        Any bad feelings Spike harbored evaporated with that statement and the sight of her smiling face.  God, how he loved that smile!  She didn't use it enough, well, not around him she didn't.  "You better take a seat.  I think we're going to get this show underway.  Groom's side is the right."

        "Okay."  She faced Spike and straightened his slightly eschew tie before taking an aisle seat in the second row.  She observed him for a few moments, numerous thoughts flooding her head, most of them pleasant.  Any unpleasant thoughts or memories were quickly disregarded and sent to the nether regions of her mind.  Today was for Clem and Carlotta and for Spike too.  For once, she took a back seat and silently watched those around her with great interest.

         "So, you're the Slayer?"

         The voice surprised Buffy from her inner monologue.  She turned to the male vampire next to her.  "Yes, I am.  Is that a problem for you?"

        "Not at all."  The vampire held out his hand.  "My name is Jacob."

        Buffy looked at him, dressed like everyone else in wedding finery.  She shook his hand.  "I'm Buffy."

        "I know.  I've heard all about you.  Good stuff too, not all 'kill the vamps.'"

         "Good stuff, really?  That's new.  Usually I'm the bane of every vampire's existence."

        "Well, our good La Loca proprietor fails to see it that way," he commented, nodding towards Spike who stood underneath the canopy with Clem.  Buffy felt the heat rise in her cheeks at the acknowledgement from Jacob, or maybe it was just the sun. "Word had it you were his date."

         "We're not dating," Buffy rushed to say.  "But, yeah, I came with him."

         Jacob looked her up and down.  "Lucky vamp," he smiled sweetly.

         "Hey, Buffy!  You look radiant!"

        Buffy looked behind her and there was Sid with his date, another gill demon.

        "Hi, Sid.  How are you?" she smiled at the couple.

        "Just dandy.  I'd like you to meet the little woman.  Katia, this is Buffy."

          "Spike's Buffy?" she inquired in a slightly shrilled voice.

        "That's her," Sid confirmed.

        Katia grabbed Buffy's hand and shook it none too gently.  "It's so nice to see you.  Well- I've seen you, pictures of you, but it's nice to finally meet you face to face."

        Buffy flushed underneath Katia's fascinated gaze.  "It's good to meet you too."

        "I hope you'll be staying with us for awhile.  It would be great to get the gang together and all go out for drinks.  I heard you did last night, but I couldn't be there, home with the little one I was, so we must do it again.  I'll not take no for an answer.  What are you and Spike doing after the reception?  Did you want to go out or do you want to be alone?  Spike must-"

        "Honey, honey, slow down for a second there.  Don't embarrass the poor girl.  You know she and Spike are just friends," Sid reminded his wife.

        "Oh, yes I know that.  I only meant- Oh, Buffy, I didn't mean to imply-"

        "It's fine, Katia.  I don't know what Spike has planned for this evening."

        "We'll have to find out.  Oh, I am sorry.  I have a tendency to let my mouth run away with itself."

        "That's one of the things I love about you," Sid cooed as he kissed Katia.  Love was definitely in the air around Buffy.

        Music from the organ signaled the start of the processional.  Buffy watched the demon filled orchestra playing.  They were wonderful and-    

        "Oh my God!  Yo Yo Ma is a demon?" she whispered to Jacob.

        "No one is that good on his own," he replied with a giggle.  "He's also a good friend of one of the priests.  It's not easy to get him with his busy schedule and all.  But, Spike made it happen."

Spike seemed to have a way of doing that, Buffy thought.

         The ceremony was remarkably just like any other.  They said their vows, a soprano sang something in Italian, although, she was a ten foot tall skeleton like demon.  Buffy couldn't imagine where she kept all that air for those high notes.  After the exchanging of rings, one of the priests held out a golden chalice.  The other held a silver knife and sliced the bride and the groom's right palms.  Their blood mixed together in the chalice.  The gleeful expressions never left the couple's faces as the blood continued to drip.  After a few moments, Spike and the maid of honor each wrapped the wounded hands in strips of white linen.

         "Blood," began the first priest, "Blood is life, as is their union."  Clem and Carlotta each took a sip of their mingled life sources.  "Let their love, like the blood of life, flow forever.  You may kiss the bride."

         Everyone was on their feet clapping for the two as they exited the canopy and traveled up the aisle.  The rest of the processional followed close behind.  Spike quickly stole a glance Buffy's way.  It warmed his cold body to see her with Sid, Katia and Jacob.  Maybe she wouldn't have so much trouble adjusting to the gray after all.  

         "So, you never told me what this place is," Buffy mentioned as she and Spike approached a brick mansion on top of a hill.  Buffy didn't notice it when they first arrived in this mystical place.  It seemed to appear sometime during the ceremony.

        "This is neutral territory," Spike explained.  "This is an alternate dimension reserved for anyone to come and be safe."

        "Do people live here?" she wondered.

        "No, it's not a place to live.  It's more of a large country club."

        "You are a long way from polo shirts and golf."

        "But, you wouldn't believe how far in advance you have to make reservations."

        "How far?"

        "Well, I know some people so it was only a few months."

        "Yes, you sure do know a lot of people and they all seem to know me."

        "You are still the Slayer, aren't you?"

        "Yes, that's my title.  I seem to have acquired a new one, however."

        Spike stopped outside of the large twin oak doors that led into the reception.  He looked down at the lady at his side.  She had a questioning look scrawled across her beautiful face.  "And what would that be?" he asked.

        "I am now referred to as 'Spike's Buffy.'"  Buffy swore she saw the vampire turn pink.  "What have you been telling everyone?" she demanded to know.

        "The truth."

        "Whose truth, yours or mine?"

        "Don't get your knickers in a twist, Slayer."

        "Don't mention my knickers.  Stick to where you are better acquainted."  Spike burst out laughing at Buffy's invalid anger.  "Don't laugh at me, Spike.  I want to know what you've been saying about me."

         "Still care so much about other people's opinions I see," he snarled.  Buffy just glared at him, waiting for her answer.  "Another time, Slayer," he finally said.

         "Everything is 'another time' or 'another day.'  Can't you tell me anything right now?"

         "Yes.  Genuflect at the door to the ballroom; it's a sign of peace."  

         "How are you enjoying yourself, Buffy?" Clem asked as the two fumbled through their waltz around the lavish ballroom.

         "This is amazing, Clem.  I've never waltzed before."  Buffy was actually proud of herself at how quickly she picked it up.

         "Carlotta insisted on it.  Something about romance and 'The Blue Danube.'  I just think she wanted to show off with Spike."

          Buffy had to agree on that note.  Carlotta and Spike looked positively elegant waltzing together.  She was jealous, not of Carlotta directly; she just married Clem.  She looked so beautiful dancing in Spike's strong arms, his right hand around her waist, his left enveloping her right.  Buffy wanted to look like that when she danced, like Fred and Ginger.

         As if on cue, the duo stopped in front of the beginners.

         "Buffy," Carlotta beamed.  "You don't mind if I cut in, do you?  I always told Clem that romance grows strong on 'The Blue Danube.'"

          "Of course, I don't mind, Carlotta.  I wouldn't want to monopolize your husband all evening."

          She chuckled.  "I'm the only one who can do that."

          "Did you hear that, Spike?" Clem asked in earnest.  "Husband!  That's me!"

          Buffy released Clem and the newlyweds waltzed away in a fit of the sweetest sounding laughter.

          "Want to have a go?" Spike ventured.  Without waiting for her response, he swept her into his arms and joined the rest of the circling couples.  

         "So, the Big Bad can dance?" Buffy giggled.

         "Yeah, dance like a poof, but this is a special occasion."

        "I had no idea."

        "What did you expect from someone who lived in the 1800's.  We didn't bump and grind back then, too many layers of clothing.  Ow!"  Spike stumbled as Buffy stepped on his toe.

        "Sorry," she apologized.  "I think I'm doing well considering I just learned five minutes ago."

        "Think you're ready to turn?"

        "Turn?!"

        "Just keep the One Two Three.  One Two Three.  One Two Three.   _Turn_ Two Three."  Spike turned a nervous Buffy under his arm.  She laughed at the surprise.  "See?  It's not so bad," he remarked as he pulled her back to him.

        Buffy agreed.  "Not bad at all.  But now I've lost count," she pouted.

        "She'd better put that lip away," Spike thought to himself as he gazed at his companion.  

        Buffy looked up into those blue eyes; they were happy.  Buffy hoped he saw her happiness reflecting back to him.  She really was happy at that moment.  She remembered how much she missed being in his embrace and returning to it felt so good.  _Too _good.  It wasn't supposed to be this way!  Then again, nothing with Spike ever went as planned.

       The rest of the world seemed so far away.  Never did she think she would be hanging out with demons at a wedding reception in neutral territory.  Neutral.  She wasn't supposed to be neutral, but she wasn't black and white anymore.  The years apart from Spike had changed her.  The Magic Box changed her, her broken engagement changed her and she knew this trip would change her as well.  Buffy made a decision as she danced.  It was time to have the talk.  She couldn't continue this way.  There were many things she needed to hear and know and many things she had to say.  Tonight would be the night, no use putting it off anymore, acting like it didn't happen.  It did and now they needed to clear the air. 

"You two looked so cute out there!" Carlotta explained when they went back to their table.  "Now, Spike, you have to do a tango."

         "No, no, no tango.  We had our tango last night remember?"

         "Yes, _we _did, but I'm sure Buffy wouldn't mind a lesson or two," she suggested, her cunning eyes intent on Spike.  "It's loads of fun and he's a very good teacher."

         "Maybe another time, Carlotta."

"Why are you being shy, Spike?  It's just us," she reminded him.

"I'm not shy, just not in the mood.  Besides, isn't it almost time for you and Clem to head out?"

         "We have a few more minutes."

         "Oh!"  Buffy yelped.  She just recalled her conversation at the ceremony.  "Spike, you've been invited out after the reception."

         "By whom, love?"

         "Sid's wife, Katia."  They all laughed at the sound of the name, much to Buffy's confusion.  "What's so funny?  I thought she was your friend."       

        "She is.  She is one of our friends."

        "What did you think of her?" Carlotta wanted to know.  "She always reminded me of a peacock."

        Buffy shrugged.  "She reminded me of a fish."  Again, the group laughed.

        "I meant peacock because she struts around flapping her mouth.  Don't get me wrong, she's a dear and I like her very much, but sometimes…"

        "Yeah," Clem concurred, "sometimes…"

       "The woman doesn't know when to shut her gob," Spike clarified.  "But, it is amusing."

       "And Sid's crazy about her."

       "Do you feel like going out, love?"

       "It's up to you.  They're your friends."

       "We're your friends too, Buffy."  Clem took Buffy's hand in his own and gave it a kiss.

       "Thanks, Clem.  I do consider you two friends...  Him too," she added after a beat, referring to the vampire by her side.

       Spike smiled at her.  Were they friends?  They never considered themselves as such, mortal enemies, acquaintances, reluctant partners, lovers, strangers, but never friends.  He didn't quite know how to feel about it.  "Well, I hate to break through the sap here, but you guys really need to get going."

         After a few grumblings, the two went off to gather their things before saying their goodbyes.

        "Where are they going?"

        "Italy.  Carlotta has some family there and Clem's always wanted to go to Sicily.  It feeds his _Godfather _obsession."

        "Everyone's got one," she surmised.

        "So, do you want to go out with Sid and Katia?"

        "I'd rather go back to your place and maybe I could hear some of those stories."

        "Buffy-"

        "Please, Spike.  I've been thrown into this completely different world where you are the be all and end all of fairness.  Forgive me if I have a few questions.  So, what do you say?"

         Spike took a deep breath.  "So, we can go out and have a few drinks, laughs and listen to Katia jabber away or we can go home, have a few drinks, play Twenty Questions and listen to _me _jabber away."

          "Those are the choices."

          Without thinking twice he said, "Fine, let's say our goodbyes."  Spike knew where this was going to go and he was relieved.  It was time to have an out and out.

          "Are you leaving so soon?" Jacob asked as he walked up to them.  "I must insist on a dance with this lovely Slayer before you go."

          Buffy looked back at Spike as Jacob took her by the hand and led her away.  Spike leaned against the wall and watched her and Jacob move about the room.  It was not a sight he particularly enjoyed which must have been evident on his face.

          "Do you know what you are doing?"  Clem laid a hand on his best friend's shoulder.

          "No I don't," Spike answered.

          "I didn't think so.  She looks great."

          "Fabulous," he corrected.

          "And you are working on a mission together."  Spike nodded.  "What do you think of all this?"

          "I don't know what to think."  Spike faced Clem, his shoulders sagging.  "She just showed up in my life again after five years.  She's barely divulged why she came here in the first place.  I can't even tell you how I felt when I saw her at the club."

          "No need to, buddy; it was written all over your face.  Are you still in love with her?"

          "Perhaps," Spike shrugged.  "I don't know how I feel about her anymore."

          "Well, look on the bright side.  You have plenty of time to figure it out."

          Spike hugged his best friend.  "Have a good time, Clem.  Do everything I would do."

          Clem let out a big laugh.  "I think I just might."

          "Might what?" Carlotta inquired, slipping her arm around her husband's.

          "You'll find out," Spike leered.  He leaned over and hugged the lady.  "You take of him you here."

           "Will do, Spike."

            Buffy walked over to the trio.  "Are you guys ready?"

           "As ready as we'll ever be," Carlotta answered as she gave Buffy a huge hug.  "Take care of Spike for us.  Make sure he doesn't get into too much trouble."

            "That's what I'm here for," she acknowledged.

            "Listen," the bride began, "I don't believe in the throwing the bouquet ritual because I think it is embarrassing to all the single women of the world, so I'm just going to give it to you instead.  Is that alright?"  Carlotta handed Buffy the large bouquet.  It was designed to look like the canopy from the wedding with the multi-colored roses, ribbons and greenery; it was nicer than the one Buffy chose for her own wedding.

            "Thank you, Carlotta," Buffy said and she gave her another hug.

            "We'll see you soon, Buffy."  Clem pulled the Slayer into an embrace.  "I'm happy you are here," he whispered.  They pulled apart and both looked teary eyed.  "Off to Italy!"

             Buffy and Spike turned to leave.  "Hey, Spike!" Clem called after the retreating pair.  "Go to the mattresses!"

             "You too, Clem," he returned.  "You too." 

Okay guys, tell me what you think.  How am I doing?  


	5. Baggage

Disclaimer:  Still own nothing, not Spike not James, only in my dreams. But, Cinderella said it best, "A dream is a wish your heart makes."  Hell, kitchen wenches get princes; this hopeless author just wants a TV star!  Hey, it could happen :)  

A/N:  Thanks for the feedback, I love hearing from you all.  And I would love to hear from you on this chapter.  I've written and rewritten it so many times.  I quote Lady Holiday from The Great Muppet Caper, "It's plot exposition, darling.  It has to go somewhere."

Enjoy! Oh and this ~*~*~ is a flashback warning.

Chapter 5: Baggage

He busied himself around the apartment, checking his phone messages, removing his jacket, undoing his tie and getting a bottle of vodka with two glasses from the kitchen.  Buffy just removed her shoes and curled up in one of the leather chairs.  She knew he would come to her when he was finished stalling.

He fell into the buttery fabric with a huff.  He set the bottle and shots  on the glass coffee table that separated him from Buffy.  Spike watched the clear liquid as it fell from the bottle's mouth into the glasses below.  The stinging smell filled his nose.  It was pungent, warm and familiar.  He remembered all the times this was his late night companion, a tool he used to find his dreams of her and stifle the feelings she brought with every look that passed her face.  And now, she was in front of him.  Once again he turned to Lady Liquor for assistance.  He didn't want to be drunk and loosen his tongue.  He just wanted to feel the heat invade his mouth and throat.  

He pushed one glass to Buffy.  She placed it before her; her fingers lightly traipsed around the rim.  "What do you want to know, Slayer?  Do you want to know about all the places I've seen in the past five years?  All the baddies I've encountered?  How many Council members I've pissed off?  That's any easy one, all of them.  They hate me helping them almost as much as I do."

"What would you rather?" she asked, knocking back her vodka.

Spike followed suit.  "Just run my club, go about my business without having to worry about the gits in gray suits."

"When did you get the chip out?"

"As soon as I left," he answered as he poured two more rounds.

"Did it hurt?"  Her voice had a hint of nervousness in it.

"The removal, no.  To get it removed, yes."  Buffy looked at him with questioning eyes.  "That is one thing I don't want to get into, Slayer.  I had to fight for it.  Wasn't all magic and machinations.  I fought and I won.  End of story."  Buffy nodded in understanding.  She didn't want to upset him so early in the conversation; there was so much she wanted to know.  "So, Slayer, that was three questions.  Keep them coming."

Buffy downed her shot and let the scorching sensation run through her.  She turned the glass over, not wanting anymore for the moment.  "I don't have a list," she began.  "I just want to where you've been, what you've been up to…why you didn't come back."

Spike knew she was looking at him intently, willing him to look at her.  He regretted it as soon as he saw the pain in those emerald eyes.  No doubt she was remembering the fateful night he left.  Out of all the days he lived, that was the one that brought him the most pain and satisfaction.  Pain because of his lack of control, attacking the woman he loved and proving the whelp right; he was a monster.  Satisfaction because, if it weren't for that night, he would never be where he was now.  Most likely he would still be held up in his drafty crypt waiting for his Slayer to interrogate him about the new demon in town, waiting for the swift punch to the nose that he misread for affection.  But, no.  He knew better.  She had feelings for him; it wasn't love.  He saw it in her face.  That was the first time he really let it sink in and he died for the third time.  He would have rather stayed dead with Buffy in the ground than see that look in her eyes.

She waited patiently for him to respond; he was deep in thought.  His intoxicating cerulean eyes welled up and he tried to swallow, but with great difficulty.  "Spike?"  His name came out as a whisper.  "Why didn't you come back?  Clem- He said you were going to come back.  Were you afraid to face the music, Spike?" she shot out.

"I did come back," he mumbled.

"What?"  Buffy sat in the edge of his seat, not sure if she heard him correctly.  "Wh-when? When did you come back?"

Spike ignored his shot glass and took a swig from the open bottle.  He quickly stood and made his way to the balcony.  He ripped his shirt from his pants and unbuttoned the first few buttons, much more comfortable.

As he retrieved his infamous lighter from his pocket, Buffy stepped passed him onto the balcony.  The night air was hot, balmy and full of evening gaiety.  She faced the vampire who was doing his best to hide behind his mask of smoke.

"I came back one night in July.  I had just gotten the chip out and I didn't know what to do next.  But, I needed to make sure you were alright, you and the Nibblet.

"I stood on the back porch for, Lord, I don't know how long.  Dawn found me before I could knock."

~*~*~

"What are you doing here?"

"Honestly, I'm not sure."

"When did you get back?"

"Just now.  I- Are you okay?"

Dawn stepped out onto the porch and gently closed the door.  She gingerly walked towards the vampire she deemed her friend.  "I'm fine.  My shrink says with a few years of therapy and strong drugs I may overcome my abandonment issues and severed heart."

Spike winced at her sarcasm.  "Nibblet, I-"

"You left, just left.  No goodbye hug, no letter, no nothing.  I needed you and you weren't here.  You promised you'd protect me.  Do you have any idea how it felt going to your crypt and finding Clem sitting there in your chair, watching your TV?  Forget how I felt, do you know how Buffy felt?"

"Relieved?" he muttered.

"Try broken, betrayed?  But, she didn't have time to think about it because she had to go save the world again.  You wouldn't know anything about that 'cause you weren't here when she needed you!"  Tears flowed profusely from her large blue eyes, trailing over her cheeks and down her nose.

He could barely hold back his own tears at the sight of his girl. He loved her and missed her so much.  "Dawn, love, I had to go.  I couldn't stay here after…"

Dawn started to hiccup through her sobs.  "Clem said you'd come back and I tried to believe him.  I mean, you did leave everything behind, your TV, your duster…me."

Spike abandoned all reserves, grabbed the girl by the shoulders and pulled her close.  Her tears stained his black shirt and her body shook with every sob, every intake of breath.  Spike held her in a tight embrace, never wanting to let go till he freed her from crying. 

His hand stroked her long hair as he whispered to her.  "I missed you, Nibblet."   He kissed the top of her head and she squeezed him tighter.

After a rather peaceful silence, Spike held Dawn at arms length.  "I didn't say goodbye because I intended on coming back."

"So now what, Spike?  Are you going to tell Buffy you're here?"

"How's she doing?" he asked, avoiding the question for a moment.

"How is she ever?  She works, she slays, she sleeps on occasion and has even found some time to enjoy the summer weather."

"Sounds about right," he admitted glumly.  Maybe things really were better for her now, without him.

"She turned in early tonight, but I doubt she's asleep.  I'll go get her."

"No, don't bother, Dawn.  I'm going to go back to the crypt, see Clem and thank him for everything."

"Spike.  You know I love you, right?"

"I love you too, Bit, like you were my own."

"I love you, but not everyone does around here.  Be careful."

"Always am, pet, always am."

~*~*~

"I left, went home and caught up with Clem.  He filled me in on everything that happened with Willow and Tara.  I couldn't believe it.  I knew Red had it in her, but I liked Tara, nice girl.  Go figure she got killed by a human."  He wanted to make a comment about Wanker Warren being a supposedly souled being, but he refrained.

"Willow appreciated the flowers you sent her though.  I think she almost smiled when she read the card," Buffy told him.

"I'm glad."  Their eyes sought out each other's, remorse seeking comfort, blue seeking green.  The tension built between their gaze; it was palpable and almost suffocating.  Neither could read the other's desires, but searched nonetheless, searched for some sign of how to move on from here.

Spike cleared his throat; the only way to move on was to tell the story.  "I went back the next night, but I didn't see Dawn.   I saw you in the kitchen, must of have just gotten home from work."

~*~*~

"You touch her, you die, vampire."  Xander had a stake ready in his hand.  "Don't bother going in; you've been uninvited."

Spike did not doubt the words; he suspected as much, but it burned him to hear it from the man before him.

"You shouldn't have come back, Spike.  It would have been better for all of us."

"Yeah, maybe," Spike remarked as he satisfied his need for a cigarette.  "So, are you going to stake me already?"  Inside Spike wanted to pummel Xander to a pulpy mess of blood and skin and leave his trademark right through his jugular.  He could never do it though, no matter how much he wanted to, he could never to that Dawn and Buffy.  

Xander pocketed the stake.  "No, I'm not going to stake you, not tonight at least.  You know how I feel so there's no use repeating it anymore.  Oh, what the hell, once more for old times sake.  I hate you and that is not something I do lightly.  Dislike, yes, annoyed by, oh yes, but hate, I save that one for creatures like you.  But, I love Buffy and for that reason only, I'm going to forget I saw you tonight as long as you clear out of town and go back to wherever you've been for the last three months."

"And why would I do that?  I just got here."

Xander nodded to the kitchen window.  Spike watched his love inside.  Dawn must have just come home, Willow too.  The three of them were in the kitchen, smiles on their faces.  Dawn looked like she was telling one of her stories.

"Look at that smile.  It finally came back on a daily basis.  She's happy now.  Finally, she's gotten over everything you did to her."  Spike faced Xander once more.  "Do you really want to ruin all that?  If you still believe you love her, turn around and leave.  If you don't, you'll just be proving everything I ever said about you; you are a monster.  You don't care about Buffy or Dawn."

"I love Buffy and the Lil Bit."

Xander took a forthright step towards Spike.  "Then prove me wrong.  Do what's best for her."

"Leave?  Just like Angel?  Just like the GI Joe?"

"Atleast she can smile at the thought of them.  Do you want me to tell you what she looks like when your name is accidentally mentioned?  I'm sure I can draw you a picture if you'd rather; I've seen it so many times.  Every time she'd find a cigarette butt in the yard, every time we passed your crypt on patrol, every time she saw you God forsaken jacket-"

"Enough," he demanded, his voice low and cold.  He could not hide his anger or his guilt.  How he hated _that _emotion!  "I get the point."

"Then you'll go."  Xander joined his friends inside, leaving Spike on the outside looking in.  

He felt like sodding James Stewart in _It's A _bloody_ Wonderful_ _Life _and the whelp was his "Clarence."  He saw the world without him and it did not look so bad, much to his dismay.  Buffy was fine; she looked wonderful and content.  Dawn, despite her complaints, was doing fine as well; he could tell by the light that had returned to her eyes.  It was the same one he saw in Buffy's.  Thousands of thoughts and promises banged in his head.  It was like bumper cars, a happy thought was immediately bumped aside to make way for a terrible memory, one memory in particular.

"Are you here to see Buffy?"

It broke his undead heart to see the hope in Dawn's face.  "No, Nibblet I- I came to say goodbye."

"You've got to be kidding me?  Is this some kind of joke?  What did Xander say to you?  Don't believe him, Spike, he knows nothing," she pleaded.

"He does, Dawn.  He knows Buffy.  For once I think he might be right.  I'm going to pack up my stuff and head out."

"No! No, you can't do this to me!  To her!  She deserves to know you're here."  Dawn grabbed Spike's hand and tried to pull him to the door.  He wrenched his hand away from her.

"I doubt she would care.  You are the only one who cares."

"You don't mean that.  She misses you, Spike; I know she does.  She's kept your duster all these months.  She can't bear to be with out.  Any time Xander tried to take it, she screamed bloody murder until he left it alone.  Why would she do that if she didn't care?"  Spike made no answer.  "I know you feel bad, but running away-"

"I'm not running, Dawn.  I'm making a choice."  He sighed and looked to the stars, hoping for an answer.

"She needs you."

"No, she doesn't.  She never did.  I was… 'convenient.'"  Spike spat out the last word.  It tasted revolting on his tongue, a hard sounding word filling his mouth.  "She used me and I let her because I loved her.  I'm of no use to her anymore.  You lot look pretty secure; I'm just baggage.  As long as I know you two are safe, I can go."

"Don't I get a say in this?" Dawn cried.  "Stay for me, Spike."

"Your sis wouldn't let me near you if she knew I blew into town."

"You don't know that."

"Doesn't matter anyway.  I'm not staying here just to get kicked around again."

"Spike-"

"Dawn," he silenced her.  "I'm going tomorrow night."

She sniffed.  "You want your duster back I guess."

"Clem will get it tomorrow."

"She won't let him take it," she warned.

"Yes, she will.  Are you going to give me a hug?"

The young girl threw herself back into the arms of the vampire.  She couldn't believe she was losing him again.  It wasn't fair.  She held on to him for dear life.  If she held tight enough, long enough, maybe he'd see how much she needed him, how much Buffy…

"Where will you go?"

"I'll let you know when I get there, okay?"  

She smiled at the prospect.  "So, you'll keep in touch?"

"Yes, with you.  You're my girl, Dawn and I need that."

"I do too.  Just remember, I don't care where you go or however long it may be till I see you again, just know, you are loved."

He quickly detached himself from Dawn's lethal grip and ran into the night.  His entire body ached as the warmth of her embrace dissipated.  He made it to the bushes where he stopped at the sound of her voice.

"Dawn?"  Spike saw her standing in the moonlight, his favorite way to see her.  "Dawn, what's wrong?  Why are you crying?"

"Stung," she sobbed.

"You've been stung?" Buffy clarified.

Dawn nodded and entered the house.  Buffy stayed outside for a moment as if looking for the creature that stung her sister.  Instead her eyes landed on the remainder of one of Spike's cigarette butts in a planter.  Her face contorted into a vision of anguish.  Her brow furrowed, her full lips became thin and her healthy hue turned pale. So, that was the look.

Spike headed home.  He didn't like that look.  He liked her smiling.  She was radiant, glowing.  Yes, he liked her glowing.

He missed the feel of the leather against his cool skin.  He was glad to have it back.  "Have any trouble?" the vampire asked his friend.

"A little," Clem confessed.  "She didn't really want to let go of the sleeve.  Dawnie had to pry her fingers loose.  Are you sure this is-"

"Yes," he interrupted, knowing the question, the one he had asked himself every minute since he left the Summers' house.  "I am sure."

"You should have seen the look on her face though, Spike."

"I don't want to hear it."  He continued surveying the crypt for anything else he needed to take on his journey.

"But, really, she looked…broken, like a watch that just lost all its wheels."

"I said I don't want to hear it!"  He inhaled, trying to calm down.  "Besides, no one can break her.  She'd never let anyone get that close."

Clem carried on.  "Dawn looked bad too and she was expecting this visit.  I can tell you, this is not a trip I enjoyed, Spike.  Too many sad faces on such pretty girls.  They look so much prettier when they smile."

"What did you tell them, Clem?"

"Just what you told me to, that you decided to settle down elsewhere and that you would send word to Dawn when you arrived."

"Good."

"Although," Clem began, ignoring Spike's moan of protest, "Buffy looked mighty disappointed you weren't writing to her."

This guy never quits, does he?  'Course not, he was a nice guy and as such, he was trying to point out the flaws of Spike's plan.  Spike would miss Clem.  Or maybe not?

"Clem?"

"Hmm?"

"What are you doing for the next year or so?"

~*~*~

"So, we took off, ended up in Vegas, made a bundle, the legal gambling way.  Clem had the Midas touch with those slot machines."  He chuckled at the memory.  "We ended up here almost a year later.  Then Clem met Carlotta while she was on holiday and I met Joaquin. 

We were having a pint or two at the club when some buggers were trying to wreck the joint.  I helped Joaquin out with the demon issues.  He was so grateful, we drank on the house for a fortnight.  Carlotta, as luck would have it, knew Joaquin, friend of her dad's or something like that.  Anyway, it was love at first sight for her and Clem.  Whole bloody bells on the hill ringing and birds in the sky singing their lil ditties."

"What happened to Joaquin?"  Buffy asked, breaking her long silence.

Spike frowned.  "He died last year, attacked outside the club.  Joaquin didn't allow fighting in the club, hence the Fyarls as a scare tactic.  So, they got him right outside one night.  At least they didn't turn him 'cause I don't know if I-"  Spike didn't bother finishing his sentence.  He heaved a sigh and wrapped up his tale.  "They all got theirs in the end, right fucking bastards died like dogs they did.  Could have done worse, but…  Joaquin left me the club and a handsome sum for Clem and Carlotta's wedding.  Then came the day I got a phone call from the sodding wankers that now write out my checks."  Spike gazed upwards as he thought back on his friend.  "Poor bloke didn't deserve it.  Don't think I've taken to someone so quickly in a long time.  He was one of those people you had to acknowledge.  Just by looking at him, I knew I had to respect him; I wanted to respect him.  And all he did was give me a pat on the back."

It was a long time before Buffy said anything.  It was so strange to hear his side of the story; she knew the other one.  She vividly recalled the day Clem came for the duster.  She didn't know what to say at first.  She didn't believe him.  Spike said he'd come back and come back he would.  But, the sunken expression on Clem's face proved otherwise.  And now, she still didn't know what to say.  Everything was so mixed up in her head and it was such a long time ago.  So many emotional changes had occurred since then.

"I didn't have you uninvited."

Spike raised his scarred brow.  "That's interesting."

"Your coat never left the house.  It was on the coat rack by the door waiting for you."  It also spent numerous nights wrapped around her small form as she tried to sleep, but she wasn't ready to admit that part.  "I remember Dawn crying the night before, but she never said anything, only that she was stung.  When your letter came, I was relieved.  I didn't know how upset I was, thinking you could be dead and I'd never know it.  I just…" She breathed deeply, not trusting her own voice to continue.  "I just wanted to know where you were.  That's all I really wanted.  And when I knew, I could breathe again."

Silence again overtook them.  Buffy concentrated on the Latin beat from a nearby club.  It was so moving, making her want to dance in the streets, not be sad.

Buffy sighed.  "I wanted to see you."

"I wanted you to.  I wanted to read your letters."

"I didn't want that."

"So you said."

The drums played in her head and in her ribcage.

"Do you have anymore question, Slayer?"

That hurt.  It was pulling rank, putting her above him and she hated the sound of it and the implication of it.

"Slayer?"  No response.  "Buffy?"

"Yes, my name is Buffy.  'Slayer' is for work and I'm not working now.  When we work, 'Slayer' is fine, but outside of work, it's Buffy, pet, love or any other nickname you have."

"You never liked those names," he reminded her.

"Yes I did," she declared with such certainty that Spike blinked.  She used to tell him repeatedly to stop calling her 'love.'  Of course he never listened to her, but now she said she always liked them.  Did that mean anything or was it all in his head?

"Do you have any more questions, Buffy?"

"Not tonight," she answered, relishing her name on his lips.  It felt so much better, like silk to her skin.  "I'm going to go change though."

"You looked stunning today, almost put the bride to shame."

"I sincerely doubt that."  She stepped back into the apartment before adding, "You looked good yourself," she added hesitantly.

"In sunlight?"

"In… everything."

Just my own note, Spike's reference to Clem's love at first sight as birds singing and bells ringing, is from a song called, "Till There Was You" from The Music Man.


	6. Without You

            Disclaimer: So, I had this dream, could have been a premonition, that I owned everything that had to do with Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The writers, the gaffers, the wardrobe, Joss and all the actors. Well, there was a little round of dress up. I was in a leather duster and James was well...ehem. BUT, since it was a premonition and has yet to come true, everything belongs to the Almighty Joss and the Almighty Grr Arrgg Mutant Enemy people etc etc. Don't sue!   
  
Distribution: Want it? Ask me please.   
  
A/N : Sorry this took so long.  I was having posting problems, but they seem to be rectified so we shall continue.  I just got back to college so updates will be.. well... when I can I guess. But since this is my peace from the stressfulness that is college life, I don't expect a huge change in my updating schedule. So, review please 'cause you light up my life!(not gonna sing, not gonna sing.)   
PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!!!!!!  
  
  
  
Chapter 6: Without You   
  
Buffy retreated from Spike quickly. Once in her bedroom- his bedroom, she flopped on the mattress, her heart beating erratically. That…that was stifling. Her thought process took a vacation and she was left stumbling around in a bunch of questions that suddenly just found their answers. And she couldn't breathe. So many emotions were running rampant. Was life just one big misunderstanding? She lived her life knowing he was out there and tried not to care. And it worked for awhile. But, now there was no denying how many lies she told herself daily. She had moved on, loving her friends and family, but she always wondered what if he came back? He was back and she was at a loss on how she was supposed to feel. She felt too much.   
  
  
He slid down the wall and seated himself on the floor. A cavalcade of emotions fell over him. He was never uninvited. She wanted to see him. She couldn't breathe?   
Why couldn't she just hate him? Hate he could deal with; it would have been justified. But, no, Slayer had to throw him through the loop and forgive him. Forgive him! Oh, Christ, she forgave him! What was he supposed to do now? He'd spent the better part of the last five years trying to get over her and he thought he did a fairly good job, but now, seeing her face, that smile, he melted all over again. He needed a game plan and he needed one fast. He couldn't turn into the man he was before. His freedom changed him and he liked himself again. There was nothing worse than the thought of living for eternity and despising himself. He wouldn't let her have that power over him, not this time. So, the plan of attack: business. "I'm no bloody fool, personal issues will arise, considering I can't look at her and not hear her screaming." He shuddered at the image. "Shake it off, Will."   
So, business and personal issues will be discussed, but only as a past tense. I will not fall under the magicks of one Miss Buffy Anne Summers. Besides, once I get her to England and to Giles, she'll be so wrapped up in him, she won't have time to focus on me. And I'll have work to do so I won't focus on her. Good plan, mate. This will work; it has to. Otherwise, I am staring at a severe relapse and risk being place firmly on my undead ass.   
It'll work. Like she said, she just wanted to know I was okay. Obviously, I am, for a guy who is so screwed up he can't remember which way is east. I bet she can't wait to go home now. I'm fine; she can breathe easily."   
  
  
Breathe, Buffy, breathe. You knew this would happen. This was bound to be awkward, seeing your ex-lover, your best ex-lover, who you dumped, who attacked you and who you forgave years ago. Now, you have closure on that subject; it is time for business. Unfortunately, your business is by all rights and purposes his business. Damn it, this is hard. Just focus on the work, Summers. Don't think so much. Don't think about how he came back for you and let Xander scare him away. How could he do that?   
  
  
  
"How could you do that?   
  
Spike moved into the doorway to the living room and saw the Slayer with her arms crossed over her sushi-clad chest. She still had those after all these years? "How could I have what, pet?"   
  
"Let Xander run you out of town. You never listened to him before. You never cared what he thought of you."   
  
"He made sense. He said exactly what I was thinking in the back of my head, like he read my thoughts."   
  
"It sounds like you just wanted an easy way out, a reason not to face me."   
  
"There was no 'easy way', Buffy. If I left, I lived without you. If I stayed, I lived without you. And with or without you, I had to live with myself. I couldn't do that in Sunnyhell. Not with your mates around reminding me nightly that I belonged in the devil's ashtray and a part of me wishing for the same as well as a part of you, maybe all of you. Do you know hard it was for me to turn and leave?"   
  
"You were scared," she surmised.   
  
"Yes, I was scared. What are you supposed to say to the woman you love after almost raping her?" He began to get glassy eyes. "Somehow 'I'm sorry' doesn't seem to cut it."   
  
"It would have been a start, Spike." Her green eyes pleaded with blue for a response.   
He had none to give her though; he could not trust his voice not to crack under the pressure of syllables.   
Spike roughly crossed his arms, protecting himself, trying to control the dam that was about to break. This was too much for him. He knew this conversation would never be an easy one. Buffy always made him feel fully, more than he should and here she was doing it again. He shuddered and press his eyes shut. His knees weakened as he released a huge sob. He turned away from her, his tears glistened in the moonlight.   
  
Buffy tried to swallow her newly forming tears, but as Spike shudders turned to full out shaking, she could no longer stop herself. She reached out and touched his arm. He didn't move as she tentatively encircled him. He tried to remain ridged, but her warm, strong embrace melted away his reserve. He held her to him, holding himself up with her body. He did not care how much he cried or how much the Big Bad had fallen. He did fall and now he had to get up.   
  
"I can't… tell you h-how sorry I am," he managed to say.   
  
Buffy ran her fingers along his bleached hair. "I know you are. I know you are," she kept whispering in his ear. She pulled away from him and took his face between her small hands. "Look at me, William." He obeyed her, however hard it was, he obeyed her. "I forgive you. I forgave you a long time ago." Spike didn't say anything; he just listened to her voice and prayed to whomever would hear him that this was not a cruel joke. He couldn't take it. "What Xander said to you, at the time, it was true, but not just for the reason he thought. I was also sad when you left because I couldn't tell you how sorry I was."   
  
"You had noth-"   
  
"No, I did. Spike, I treated you so terribly. I'm not an angel, Spike, and you are not the devil. There was no justification for the things we said and the things we did. But, we did them and said them. That night…and many after, I was angry and hurt and I never wanted to see you again. But, then one day, I saw your jacket and it hit me. The anger had subsided; it wasn't the burden it used to be. And I wanted more than anything to see you, to tell you I forgive you and to tell you I was sorry. I am sorry."   
  
Spike's unneeded breath caught in his throat. He tried to calm himself down and concentrate on her, her scent, her touch and her words. Once he managed to stop his tears, he pulled away from her. He brushed her stained cheeks with his fingertips. Two green orbs looked at him imploringly. She waited for him, to hear him say what she needed to hear.   
  
"I forgive you," he said.   
In the distance Spike heard the telephone ring, but he couldn't bring himself to move. It rang four times before annoyance got the better of him. Spike stepped back, wiped his cheeks and shook off his sadness before picking up the phone. It was Giles.   
  
"'Ello, Rupert. Stop shagging Mariland long enough to check your messages I see…Yes, she's here…You're telling me…"   
  
Buffy needed a drink, something cool and wet. She went into the kitchen and opened the side by side refrigerator. "A step up from the one in the crypt." She settled for bottled water. She retrieved a La Luna Loca glass and filled it. She took a seat at the dinette and waited for Spike to get off the phone. She didn't want to hear his one sided conversation with her former Watcher. Former Watcher, former lover, and yet, everything felt so new. She sipped her water carefully. After the confessional in the other room, she didn't trust herself not be sick from all her crying.   
  
Moments later, Spike flew into the kitchen.   
  
"Grab your luggage and your coat; we're leaving tonight."   
  
  
  
"Hey, Nibblet,   
Got your letter. Buffy gave it to me straight away. Needless to say I was beyond shocked to see her, but I think I hid it well. As I'm writing, your big sis and I are over the Atlantic heading towards merry old England to see the Watcher. This cuts my holiday short, but no worries. We did make it to Clem and Carlotta's wedding though. The Slayer was shoved into all of our demon friends and, happily, she kept her fists to herself. She looked wonderful, what a surprise, and everyone loved her, what a surprise.   
To answer one of your numerous questions, yes, we're talking and so far no fighting. I suppose you could say we jumped a large hurtle, but knowing us, we'll return to our state of comfort which is incessant banter. I don't imagine we'll ever agree on everything, I should hope not. I've found myself fighting old urges and I've vowed not to go back there again. None of it ever again.   
I miss you, Dawn. Seeing your sis here makes me miss you all the more. Maybe after Buffy goes home, we can see about a visit. Either to England or Buenos Aires. It'll be good for you to travel some. It may be selfish, but I miss my girl.   
Cheers,   
Love,   
Spike   
  
  
Spike pressed the 'Send' button on his computer screen. He hoped to hear from Dawn soon. Life was so much easier now that he had his laptop. Normally, he would write to Dawn; email was so impersonal, but he wanted an immediate response. He wished Dawn would come to see him. Over the past five years, they've discussed it, but he didn't like her traveling alone for such a distance. That and he knew once he laid eyes on her he would never want to let her go.   
Spike looked up from the screen, somewhat bleary eyed. Buffy was sleeping in her chair, which was substantially bigger than normal airplanes. One of the perks of being employed by the Council was the private jet. Spike reclined in his own chair, eyes still on his Slayer. Her face was contorted and she moaned softly. Whatever was rolling around in that head of hers was not particularly pleasant.   
  
  
  
She stood in an open area, grass and hills as far as she could see, rolling hills and a thin film of fog. She heard nothing; her words carried no sound. Black clouds loomed overhead and an intense feeling of dread seeped into her system. She needed shelter. A storm was coming and all hell would break loose. She searched, but there was nothing to shield her and no one to help her.   
Then she remembered. She was looking for something or someone. It was important, it was the reason she traveled so far.   
  
The Heavens opened up and rained down on her.   
  
"You need to find him," a female voice whispered.   
  
Buffy knew the voice well, but couldn't find the woman.   
  
"Him? Buffy asked. Her hand brushed her lips as she realized regain her voice. "Who are you talking about?   
Where can I find him? How?"   
  
"Look."   
  
"Okay, a little more help please. Who am looking for? Come on, Cordelia, show yourself."   
  
The former prom queen appeared behind the Slayer, a puff of smoke dissipating around her glowing figure. Her arms were crossed in front of her as she stared at Buffy.   
  
"I found him, Cordy, like you said to."   
  
"Look harder, deeper, he's there."   
  
"Will he hurt me?"   
  
Cordelia shrugged. "Pain only exists with thought."   
  
"But-"   
  
"No," the deity silenced her. "Don't think. Just listen, flow, feel."   
  
"Jesus, Cordy, cryptic much? Where the hell am I?"   
  
"Don't worry, you'll get here. But, only if he's here too. This won't exist without him."   
  
"Well, so far, I don't want this to exist."   
  
Cordelia smiled. "But it will."   
  
And she was gone. "Isn't that just like Cordelia to be evasive when I need her to be blunt?" Buffy asked the air.   
  
The rain continued as did Buffy's jumbled thoughts. Where was she? Who was she looking for now? She thought she found him already.   
  
BANG!   
  
Thunder cracked and shook the earth. Buffy fell backwards into the soaked ground. The lightning flashed, revealing the land on which she now rested. The rain drops were black as were her hands and the once green grass. She blinked the water from her eyes as she saw a figure tower above her. She tried to get up, but couldn't move.   
  
Panic set in as the figure's wicked laugh pierced her ears and its eyes glared at her. Violet eyes full of poison, stared right through her.   
  
She couldn't look at them, but couldn't look away. She was paralyzed.   
  
"What are you?" she yelled above the storm.   
  
The figure didn't answer. It sneered at her, confidence abounded, and strolled away, leaving the Slayer on the ground.   
  
  
  
"Buffy love, wake up. We're almost there."   
  
Buffy slowly opened her eyes briefly forgetting where she was. Her dream was still fresh in her mind. She didn't smell the rain or feel the fog. Then came a voice.   
  
"We will be landing in just a few moments, Mr. Spike. Please put you seat in its proper position."   
  
She was on a plane…with Spike…to England. They were going to England to see Giles.   
"Good," Buffy thought. "Maybe he can help me out with my dreams."   
  
She'd been having them for a few months. Every dream was slightly different, as if they were progressing through a fairy tale. But they never gave her any alarm until recently. Cordelia's appearances also made her worried.   
  
"Come on now, Buffy, rise and shine," Spike coaxed. Buffy fully opened her eyes with a grumble. "Never seen someone sleep so much in such a sort amount of time," he smirked.   
  
"You would be too if you kept jumping time zones," Buffy said with a yawn.   
Buffy pulled her chair into its upright position and Spike packed up his laptop.   
"So, you've come taken a nice step into the computer age. Welcome." Buffy gave him a crooked smile.   
  
"Just because I never owned one till now does not mean I was behind the times."   
  
"Yes, oh ye who still refers to T.V. shows as his 'stories.'"   
  
With his letter from Dawn and his cup of blood in his hand, it had been a pleasant flight, if not tediously long. But, now Buffy was awake, a definite sign that peace was over. They hadn't said much to each other since the confessional back in Buenos Aires. Somehow, they made an understanding that things were alright. The air between them was not a dense mass of tension and eggshells. It was lighter and guilt free, but there was still so much unexplored territory, especially on Buffy's part.   
  
"Who were you writing to?"   
  
"My, aren't we Miss Nosy?" Buffy rolled her tired eyes at him. "I was emailing your sister if you must know."   
  
"You have her address?"   
  
"Why should that surprise you?"   
  
"I-I don't know." She hung her head. It didn't surprise her; it upset her. She wanted to know his address. It seemed wrong that her sister had this close relationship with her ex-lover, knowing about his life, knowing how to contact him. It wasn't fair. For a time, she didn't think it was healthy. Dawn transgressed into her crush phase again. Buffy saw book covers with his initial on it and the "D+S=4-eva" embedded into it. Dawn insisted the "S" was not for Spike, but Buffy had her doubts. She refrained from saying anything else. Dawn was the only link she had to Spike and that needed to be preserved.   
"I know you and Dawn are still close. You always have been and I respect that. You treat her like she is your sister."   
  
"It's more than that, Buffy." Buffy blinked her eyes at that statement. "I love Dawn like she is my daughter. I know I'm no father, but like I tell her, she's my girl."   
  
It was a touching sentiment, especially coming from Spike. He was so blasé. "He did that," she thought. "One day all he does is express how he feels body and…mind, and then the next he shows complacency. He said Dawn was like his child as if it was the most normal thing to say, like he was saying 'I want waffles this morning.'" His words still touched her though because she knew they were genuine.   
  
  
  
"My dear Buffy!"   
The Watcher enveloped his Slayer in his arms when she ran off the airstrip. "I missed you so much."   
  
"Me too, Giles, so much," agreed Buffy, a tear of joy ran down her cheek.   
  
"We should have kept in touch over the past years."   
  
"I know. I'm sorry, Giles."   
  
He pulled back from her arms and studied her face, such wisdom for one still so young. "No apologizes necessary, Buffy. You're here and that's all that matters. I trust the trip was pleasant?"   
  
"Oh, wonderfully pleasant, Rupes," Spike confirmed as he approached the reunited pair. "Nothing I liked more than being stuck on a plane for fourteen hours."   
  
Giles put his hand out for the vampire. "Spike, good to see you," he greeted.   
  
Spike took the offered hand. "Rupert," he returned with a sound shake. "The boys are loading the luggage into the car so why don't we head home?"   
  
"Good idea. I'm sure you both could use some rest."   
  
"Rest? Buffy protested. "What do you think we were doing for the last fourteen hours? I think we should figure out what is going on with this Leila chick."   
  
"In due time, Buffy, in due time. If you don't want the respite, I certainly do. The book is safe, yes?"   
  
"I'm not incompetent, Giles," Spike sneered. "I have it right here." Spike nodded his head to the attaché by his side. "Actually, the book seems to be split in two. The leather on the back looks like it was torn. But, I assume the usual procedures will be ordered."   
  
"Of course, especially in these circumstances. They'll be arriving tomorrow, if not later this evening so we must press on."   
Buffy shook her head in confusion. "What are you guys talking about? What procedures for the book and who's coming?"   
  
Giles removed his glasses and set to cleaning them with the hem of his shirt. "It is very simple really. But, first, you must prepare yourself for someone who is quite anxious to see you, both of you actually. I'm afraid you will not be too pleased."   
  
  
  
I'm sure you can all guess who she's going to see, but if you can't, just wait! If you want me to email you my next update is, just let me know and I will do so. :)


	7. Family Business

A/N I know, I know, it's been awhile, but if Itold you why, you wouldn't believe me :) So extra treat, here are the next two chapters, chapter 9 should arrive tomorrow. Keep reviewing so I know that you all like this , either here or at my aol address, Babylon614@aol.com  
And a big thanks to those that have reviewed, you make me so happy!!! Also, if you want an email for update just let me know, I'd be happy to send you one. One other note, my fic is also available at the Buffy/Spike Central site, so when ff.net gives us trouble( i know it does me, especially posting) you can check it out there.  
Alrighty enough of me! Till next time.   
  
  
  
Chapter 7: Family Business  
  
"Quentin Travers, I should have known."  
  
"Miss Summers, nice to see you looking so well."  
  
Buffy, Spike and Giles sat in the living room of their townhouse as the Council entered, brief cases in hand and stern expressions in place.  
  
The Slayer sank further into the couch as the men and women she had come to dislike on sight unpacked their belongings. She looked around the room, taking in her new residence.   
  
She didn't have that much time to last night, but she even then she could tell it was quite the place. It was a nice, two floor home, larger on the inside than on the outside, rather deceiving. The large living room flowed into the kitchen along the back, partially hidden from view behind the spiral stairs. The living room supplied every comfort from over stuffed furniture to plush carpeting that looked just as inviting. There was even a loft library above, presumably Giles's favorite spot.   
  
The bedrooms were upstairs, a place she wanted to get to so badly. Giles had helped Buffy with her luggage while Spike went off to "take care of some business." Exhaustion surprisingly took over the weary Slayer.   
  
All this travel was catching up to her and this morning's arrival of the Council wasn't helping her alertness. The mere sight of them bored her. At least she looked more rested than the vampire beside her. After all, he would still be sleeping right now if it weren't for the pesky blokes in suits.  
  
Quentin and the others finally settled down, the former took his seat in an armchair across from Buffy and Spike. Giles, the dutiful host, immediately headed toward the tea service by the fireplace.  
  
"We are very glad you could join us, Miss Summers. It is quite fortuitous," Quentin greeted as he accepted a cup of tea from the Watcher.  
  
"Yeah, well it seems to be how my life tends. Just when life seems dandy, in comes the Council. I see most of the usual suspects today," she commented as she surveyed the room. Some people. "He's new." Buffy pointed to a young man behind the rest, standing in the doorway. He looked up from the book he was reading. "Who's that?" she asked Quentin.  
  
Quentin sighed at Buffy's abrasive attitude. "That is my son." He gestured for the man to approach.  
  
He was rather tall, medium built man with deep brown eyes behind wire rimmed glasses, nothing to distinguish him from any of the others. But, he caught Buffy's attention, just standing out of the way, content to remain in the background and observe, a born Watcher.  
  
"Miss Buffy Summers, may I present my son, Colin Travers." The young man took Buffy's hand and shook it.  
  
"A pleasure, Miss Summers," Colin said, displaying a beautiful smile.  
  
"Nice to meet you, Colin. I didn't know Quentin had a son."  
  
"I'm his little secret," the man laughed.  
  
"Or you were, my boy, until you entered the family business." He patted his son on the back, showing more affection than Buffy ever saw from him. It just didn't look right on Quentin.  
  
Giles cleared his throat. "Shall we get this underway? I'm sure Buffy and Spike are anxious to get settled."  
  
"Very well," Quentin returned to his chair. "Now, Mr. Spike, we understand that you are in possession of a very rare find, a book?"  
  
"Half," he corrected as he sipped his own tea.  
  
"Excuse me, sir?"  
  
"I have half of your 'rare find.'"  
  
"And what, pray tell, happened to the other half?" one of the other members asked.  
  
"No bloody idea. I was only given half."  
  
"What is the book, anyway?" Buffy wanted to know. "What, is it going to bring about the end of the world?"  
  
"Not exactly." Quentin set his cup and saucer on the table.  
  
"Come now, Quentin, we've been here before. What does it do?"  
  
Quentin chuckled. "Yes, Miss Summers, we have been here. You asked for our help and we gave it to you. We are now soliciting yours. I would hope that having two of your past associates in our employ would doubly secure your assistance in the matter."   
  
"I will do what I can. Just remember, I don't work for you; I am working with you on this case only."  
  
"Then we are in agreement. The book, may I see it?"  
  
"Tell me what's in it first," the Slayer demanded.  
  
"Miss Summers," Colin began, taking an assuring stepped towards his father. "You may not be a member of this Council, but Mr. Giles and Mr. Spike are and paid handsomely for it. If my father requests something from one of his employees, they will deliver."  
  
Buffy raised an eyebrow at the man. He wasn't much older than her, but he obviously had a lot to learn about slayers.  
  
"You're mighty self-assured, aren't you, boy?" Spike smirked, reading Buffy's mind.   
  
"Spike." Giles sent the vampire a warning glance. Buffy took notice of the two men and the dislike electrifying the air. So, Colin and Spike don't get along. What a surprise. "It's alright, Spike, Buffy, give Mr. Travers what you have," Giles said.  
  
After a beat, Spike opened his attaché. He removed his half and tossed the relic to Quentin. All of the Council lunged forward to catch it as it fell through the air. Quentin only smiled as it landed in his outstretched hands. The misfits on the sofa gave each other a laughing glance as the Watchers tried to catch their breaths.  
  
It was a few minutes of examination before Quentin spoke again. "Yes, well, this is all quite good. The book is a piece of a collection of the Guegen Dynasty Sanction. The Guegen Dynasty was a product of Gemini, half-breeds, if you will."  
  
"What kind of half breeds are we talking about here?" Buffy wanted to know.  
  
"Many different kinds, Miss Summers. Some you have yet to encounter. Their lineage was notorious, believed to be responsible for numerous massacres across dimensions."   
  
"And this sanction? What is that?" Buffy urged.  
  
"The Sanction is their anthology of their findings for centuries. They looked upon themselves as voyagers through the demon world," Giles continued. His voice was very low and serious as he described this family. "Every generation resumed the work done by the one before it, cultivating the collection of demonology."  
  
"This particular volume, or rather, this half of this particular volume, contains their spells and prophecies," Quentin informed the captivated audience. "Somehow this escaped the fiery demise its brothers met. The Council of 1790 burned them. Needless to say, this information could be devastating should it fall into the wrong hands."  
  
"So, we're dealing with another prophecy?" Spike snorted. "Can't you guys come up with anything else? A bloke can get bored around here."  
  
"You're in luck then, Mr. Spike. At the moment, we do not know what we are dealing with. It could be anything from world domination to how to make banana bread appear before your very eyes."  
  
Buffy was shocked; Quentin actually made a joke. But, because of the uncertainty of the situation, she refrained from laughing, that and she did not want to give him any satisfaction whatsoever.   
  
Everyone else sat in silence, contemplating Quentin's last remark. Buffy looked to the vampire at her side. He sat still, his mimicked breathing ceased. Feeling her gaze bore into the side of his face, he turned to her and quickly to Giles. The Watcher placed his cup down on the fireplace mantle and stepped towards Quentin.  
  
"The Sanction, it is a long since dead language," he informed the group.  
  
"You are quite right, Mr. Giles. It is going to take a great deal of researching if we have any hope of translating the book. We will not know what Leila wants until we do."  
  
Buffy raised her hand to the gentlemen. "Excuse me, I'm a little confused. Leila wants a book she can't read and you all are nervous....why?"  
  
"Remember when I told you Leila was daft?" Buffy nodded to Spike's question. "Remember when I said she couldn't fight between the good and the evil?" Buffy nodded once more.  
  
"So, you're thinking she's found some way to read it and she's not too fond of banana bread.  
  
"Precisely." Quentin stood from his chair and the other seated members followed his lead. "Leila obviously needs this book. She killed for it and she will kill others if she see fit. So, ladies and gentlemen, how are we going to prevent this from happening? No one made an answer, just waited for him to resume. Quentin rolled his eyes at the men and women around him. This is one of the reason he enjoyed having his son around, he would voice his opinion to his father. Colin, what do you think?  
  
Colin cleared his throat. Well, Father, we need a more expedient way of obtaining information. Translation could take weeks.  
  
Yes, but, do you have a better way? His son shook his head. We must remember, Leila is a very smart young woman. You all know this; you've seen her. I am curious, however, how she found out about this supposedly destroyed collection. That and the location of the other half of the Sanction."  
  
"But, Leila is just a kid," Spike defended. He felt the need to come to her defense; he never wanted her to be hurt. She was just a very mixed up chit. "Can she have any idea about what she is getting into?  
  
"I believe she has no regard, Mr. Spike. She is free from restraints at the present and to a girl who has been so vulnerable and out of control for the whole of her life, I can imagine this would be quite the opportunity for her."  
  
"I don't buy it."  
  
"Well, Mr. Spike, feel free to entertain whatever delusions you may have on the matter, but know that we will find Leila before she gets a hold of this book and we will bring her back to her confinement. In the mean time, my team and I shall continue our perusal and translation of this book. You patrol as usual, with Miss Summers of course. We shall reconvene tomorrow evening. Until then, Miss Summers, again, it is nice to have you here. Mr. Spike, as always" His voice trailed off, leaving only a disdainful expression in its wake. "Mr. Giles, if you would come with me please?"  
  
Giles followed the man out, the gray suits also following behind. Colin stopped at the door and turned to the pair still sitting on the couch.  
  
"Miss Summers, it was a pleasure." He flashed his winning smile to which she flashed hers.   
  
Spike looked at the retreating man and scowled. He didn't like the look in the boy's eyes when he saw Buffy. Call it territorial or bad vibes, either way, Spike made a note to keep watching him.  
  
"Like father like son," he grumbled.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I don't like him," was his only reply._  
_   
  
  
  
Buffy had been in her new room for over an hour, but hadn't unpacked. She was still awestruck by the space around her. The walls were wood paneled. At the end of the far end of the room was an over stuffed recliner and coffee table. At the other, a king size four poster canopy bed. Buffy ran her fingers along the carved surface; it was stunning.  
  
"And this is the guest room?" she asked Giles, bemused. The Watcher just chuckled. "I'd like to see the other bedrooms if this is for strangers."  
  
"Well, Spike has one across the hall and I'm on the other side of the wash room."   
  
Buffy shook her head. "I still can't believe the two of you are living together, let alone working together."  
  
"We aren't living together, Buffy," he insisted as he removed his glasses. "We areco-habitating." Buffy laughed at that. "Actually, I think the Council likes the arrangements we chose, makes them feel like they have power over us."  
  
"Do they?"  
  
"I doubt anyone could have complete control over Spike." Buffy turned from Giles and flounced onto the bed. "Did he tell you why we are doing this?"  
  
Buffy shrugged her weary shoulders. "He said the Council wanted him dust now that he was loose and away from Sunnydale, but if he worked for the Council they'd leave him alone."  
  
"Well, yes, basically."  
  
"What he didn't tell me is how you got roped into this deal."  
  
"No roping necessary. I came willingly."  
  
"You willingly went back to the Council and willingly worked with Spike?" Buffy was shocked. Giles and Spike never liked each other, but worked together despite it. She assumed it was for her benefit.  
  
"Spike came to me on night, quite unexpected. I opened the door to my flat in Bath and there he was, looking sullen, no matter how much he tried to hide it."  
  
  
  
~*~*~  
  
  
"You gonna invite me in?"  
  
"You still have the chip?"  
  
"No."  
  
The Watcher looked him up and down. "What do you want?"  
  
"To talk," he replied simply.  
  
"About Buffy?" Giles ventured a guess.  
  
"Preferably not," he answered, trying to remain stoic at the mention of his love.  
  
"What then?"  
  
"The Council."  
  
Giles stepped out of the doorway. "Come in."  
  
  
~*~*~  
  
  
  
"And we talked for hours strangely enough. It took him awhile to get to the reason for the visit. It was enlightening, watching him sort everything out in his head."  
  
"What else did you talk about? Did he say anything-" Buffy cut herself off.  
  
Giles walked to the door. "We talked about London, being home, being away from home" He observed Buffy's fallen face. "I told him all was well in Sunnydale during my last visit. He seemed happy at that. Then we discussed this new job offer or rather request. And, in a moment of pure insanity, I agreed to work with him. Of course, someadjustments needed to made, ones of which the Council has no understanding." Giles smiled at his mischievousness.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"That 'business' that Spike and I were discussing with regards to the book. We have special procedures that we follow before we hand anything over to the Council. For instance, scanning passages that we want to investigate. Spike spent most of the night going over the book and scanning pages into our computers so we could do our own investigating."  
  
"So, you're working with the Council, but really this is a Giles and Spike operation?" Buffy liked this idea more and more. She was loathed to trust the Council implicitly. It was good to hear the Giles and Spike didn't either.  
  
"More or less, Buffy. We have our own books and snitches and the Council is none the wiser." Giles sat next to Buffy on the bed. "This Leila situation is very delicate. We've always suspected that Quentin knew more about her than he ever let on. We just never had the proof. Spike and I are hoping that this text will open some of those locked doors."  
  
"What a surprise," Buffy groaned. "The Council is hiding information."   
  
The daughter and father figures sat in silence for a moment, both enjoying the other's presence in their lives once more. But, Buffy felt the need to ask one more question. "Giles, about Spike"  
  
"Buffy," Giles began. "Spike and I have an understanding. That does not mean to say he is my favorite person in the world, but I do respect him. Things have been amicable these past few years. I can't tell you how happy I am to have you here, but, please, refrain from baiting Spike."  
  
She stood up at the accusation. "Giles, I'm not here to bait him. Have I shone any signs of doing that?"  
  
"Thus far, no. But, I know the both of you well and I don't want either of you falling into old habits."  
  
"Neither do I, Giles."  
  
"Good." He hoped Buffy was true to her word. A deep feeling of dread accompanied her arrival in London. He knew all about Buffy and Spike's past together. He couldn't say that he approved, far from it actually. But, he had seen the ease that the two shared. Obviously, they cleared the air in Buenos Aires. Giles never considered himself to be nosy or a stuffy busy body, but he had a vested interest in both his Slayer and the vampire. One thing he did not want to see happen was a relapse into their previous relationship. There was a great deal of work that needed to be done and he feared what would happen should Spike and Buffy No, it wouldn't happen. There was too much at stake, they were too smart for that.  
  
"Giles?"  
  
The man turned to the girl. Her voice sounded tired and she looked small as she slumped against the post.  
  
"I've been having these dreams." 


	8. Loyalties

  
  
  
  
Chapter 8: Loyalties  
  
Hey, Spike!  
  
I was so happy to hear from you so quickly. I'm glad Buffy got there okay. I knew she'd find you eventually. So, did she tell you why she's there? She wouldn't tell me. I went to bed one night and she came storming in after patrol demanding to see your letters. Don't fret, my pet, I didn't let her read a thing, much to her dismay. Then, next thing I knew I was driving her to the airport. Go figure. On the plus side, since I'm out of school for a bit, I have complete control over the Magic Box! What do you think Buffy would do if she came back and I painted the walls bright pink???  
  
Speaking of vacations, I would love to see you!!! Sometimes I can't believe it's been so long. Why don't you and Buffy fly back to Sunnydale after 'business' is done? Then, once you are here, we can head out and go wherever you want. I could go for Argentina and seeing Clem. Strange to think of him as a married man. I want to see pictures!!! I can't believe Buffy went! So, was she your date? I'm glad you're talking about 'things.' My only warning to you is don't get bogged down in the past. There are better places to be. Ooh, look at that, I'm all philosophical! Yeah me! Alrighty, write back soon. Could you give me the number to the house too? I'd like to talk to my sister sometime. Thanks, Spike.  
  
Love Always,  
Dawn  
  
P.S. Don't just work either. Buffy's never been to England. Catch my drift?   
  
  
  
"Hear from Dawn?" Buffy asked as Spike closed his laptop. He'd been checking his mail every few hours since they woke up that morning, hoping to hear from her.  
  
"Yes, I did."   
  
When it became clear that he was not going to elaborate, Buffy ventured forth. "Did she say anything about me?"  
  
"She's happy to hear things are going well on your trip and she suggests that you don't spend all your time working."  
  
Buffy mused on that for a minute. "And what, pray tell, does she suggest as an alternative?"  
  
"She said I should take you out and show you the city, the non- demon part," he admitted.   
  
"I could be up for some of that."  
  
"Play time for the Slayer then?"  
  
"Come on, Spike. We've been working hard. And what can we do until Leila makes another appearance here? For all we know she's still in Argentina, although I doubt it. Besides, I don't want to go back to the States with nothing to show for my trip across the pond."  
  
"Very well then. We'll go out tonight, do the town good and proper."  
  
"If 'doing the town proper' means you'll be in the cemeteries tonight then I hope you have a good time."  
  
The vampire and the Slayer turned to the man who was about to kill their fun.  
  
"I don't recall letting you in, boy," Spike sneered.  
  
"The name is Colin, Mr. Spike. I address you properly; I trust you to do the same." Spike growled at the young man, but Colin remained stoic. "Mr. Giles was kind enough to let me in. Miss Summers, your presence is requested by my father for this afternoon at the Council's quarters."  
  
"What does Quentin want now?" Buffy groaned.  
  
"Since your last visit from the Council and considering the delicate situation in which we now find ourselves, there are some new weapons he would like you be proficient in."  
  
"And what about me? Spike interjected. "Don't I get any new toys?"  
  
Colin faced the vampire. How he loathed the creature. He never understood why his father insisted on his constant presence in the Council. He must be useful in some fashion but in what, Colin was not sure. Spike's job was a simple one, pummel and kill. "As of right now, Mr. Spike, you are the muscle of the operation. Use your hands and all that rot." Colin turned to Buffy and smiled. "May we be expecting you, Miss Summers?"  
  
"Call me Buffy."  
  
"Very well, Buffy, may we expect you?"  
  
"I suppose so."  
  
"Brilliant. I'll have the car waiting for you in an hour." Colin turned to leave, glancing once more at Spike. He was satisfied with the brassed off vamp he left in his wake.   
  
"I really don't like that pillock!" Spike exclaimed. "Why did he have to come all the way over here? He could have phoned."  
Buffy shrugged her shoulders. "My guess is Daddy wants his boy to keep an eye on us, but that innocent look doesn't fool me."  
  
Spike snorted. "He's anything but innocent; I can smell it a mile away."  
  
"It's no wonder to me that you have so many friends," Buffy mumbled, knowing full well Spike heard her. "So," she began, closing the magazine that was not occupying any of her time, "what now? Is Giles working on the scanned pages?"  
  
Spike looked at her wide-eyed. "He tell you that?" he wondered.  
  
"Last night," she answered. "He told me a few things about youroperations around here. It's so weird having you two work together and everything."  
  
"Well, beats being a big pile of dust, doesn't it?"  
  
"I guess so. What I don't understand is why Travers would keep vital information from you. He brought you here for a reason so why not use you as he intended?"  
  
"Isn't it obvious?" Buffy shook her head. "This is what he intended, Buffy. We are better at this job than all his lackeys put together and he knows it. But, when it comes to the big stuff he trusts no one but himself. So, while we take care of everything else, he concentrates on the big guns."  
  
"And you let him do this?" Buffy found that hard to believe.  
  
"Let nothing. That Watcher of yours is a sneaky, tweed covered devil. We just haven't had any breaks in the last year that have been worth the effort."  
  
"But, this Leila person, she's worth the effort?"  
  
"Yes she is," he said simply.  
  
Just then, Giles entered with the pages and cup of earl gray in his hands.  
  
"Oh, good, you're here," Giles smiled as he set down his tea cup. "I suppose Colin informed you of Quentin's itinerary for today, Buffy?"  
  
"Yes," Buffy pouted. "I really don't feel up to seeing that man again so soon after lunch. Just thinking about him makes me regret breakfast."  
  
"No worries, pet. We'll get in a good spot of violence tonight, always makes you feel better, right?"  
  
Buffy grinned at the thought. She hadn't had a good fight indays! Wow, she hadn't realized it had been so long. She was spending so much time with Spike and Spike's friends that she forgot about her restless Slayer urges to hit. It wasdifferent. But, now she wanted to make up for lost time.  
  
"So, maybe I'll get to stake some British vamps after all." Her eyes dazzled as she jabbed the bleached blonde in the gut.  
  
Spike clutched his stomach. "With that attitude, Slayer, maybe I'll just stand back and let some British baddie bite you."  
  
"Oooohhh." Buffy pretended to be frightened. "'British baddie bite you.' Say that five times fast." Spiked leveled his gaze to her, not amused by her antics.   
  
Giles cleared his throat. "Buffy, why don't you go change for training? I'll gather my things and join you there."  
  
"Fine," she groaned, her fun interrupted as well as her afternoon. Spike smiled at her disappointment. Maybe they could be friends after all. "Guess I'll have to take a rain check on sight seeing," she said as she left the room.  
  
"Will do, love," he answered.  
  
"No, you won't, Spike," Giles said when he was certain Buffy was out of earshot.  
  
"Why's that, Rupes?" The vamp reclined on the couch and observed the Watcher. He seemed rather on edge and from the smell of things, that wasn't simply earl gray is in his cup.  
  
"I was thinking last night about something Quentin said. He said he was curious as to how Leila find out about an ancient text such as this one." Giles dropped the numerous pages onto Spike's lap. "So, how does one who has been basically enslaved for her entire existence discover the whereabouts of a supposedly deceased text?"  
  
Spike stared at the pages he was given. For the most part, the words were gibberish to him. He could make out what seemed to be... Italian? andsome other demon language. It was different from any other language he had seen in print. There was no way she could read this. Could she? "She has help," Spike finally answered. "Do you have any idea what this says?"  
  
The Watcher shook his head. "Not a bloody clue. Honestly, I don't think Quentin does either. He barely looked at the book before concluding its origin. He was being truthful."  
  
Spike nodded his agreement. "So, the wanker probably only knows the book by name. So, who would know this language well enough to decipher it?"  
  
"I think the question is who speaks this language and would also be willing to help Leila in her quest whatever it may be?"  
  
"And who can we find to read it to help us in ours?" Spike countered.   
  
Both men sat in silence for several moments. At the same time, they both uttered the same name. "O'Malley."  
  
"He's the only one who we can trust to do this, isn't he?" Giles asked.  
  
"You've trusted him before. What? You suddenly have an aversion to midgets?"  
  
Giles sighed. How un-PC of him! "He's a leprechaun, Spike. You should know this, he's your friend. And no, I don't hold anything against him, except the fact that he is your friend, that is."  
  
Spike laughed at the former librarian. The man just didn't understand why a good natured leprechaun like Shamus O'Malley would want to befriend the former Big Bad. "O'Malley will help us. And I do mean us, not the Council. I don't want to share anything till we know what Leila is after.  
  
Wouldn't dream of it, Giles drawled with a smile, his tea cup at his lips. He did enjoy playing two sides, even though he was always loyal to his own side, his and Spike's combined.  
  
Brill. I'll stop by and see him tonight." The vampire stood to leave when Giles stopped him.  
  
"Not tonight, Spike. I have something else I need of you this evening."  
  
Spike turned to regard Giles. He looked pale, not flush like he should have been, considering the amount of alcohol Spike smelled in his cup.  
  
"While you are out on patrol, I want you leave Buffy momentarily."  
  
"You want me to leave the Slayer in the cemeterywhy?" Spike inquired. Part of him was thoroughly intrigued by this request. Why would the Watcher want his Slayer alone? Or why would he want Spike to be alone? Something was off. Something was to be done that Giles didn't want Buffy to know about. "You want me to beat her and haul her ass in?" A devious expression glinted in his eyes. Maybe this wasn't so bad after all.  
  
"No, Spike. She's just a girl and has ventured into some deal that I'm afraid will get her killed. Your job-"  
  
"Should I choose to accept it," Spike sneered.  
  
"Your job regardless is to find out who this employer is."  
  
"You want me to rough her up a bit then?"  
  
"What is it with you and hitting?"  
  
"Vampire here, Giles. One can't break all his habits."  
  
"Touché. You've met Leila; she's fragile."  
  
"She's daft," Spike corrected.  
  
"Be that as it may, she'll respond to violence with violence, much like yourself. No, she must be finessed, charmed"  
  
"You want me to come on to her?" Great, first I'm a muscle for hire and now a gigolo. And Giles of all people was encouraging it.   
  
"To put it bluntly, yes."  
  
"And why do you think I would go for that? Why would she?"  
  
"She fancies you, Spike. That was evident the first time she met you."  
  
"Giles, she was sixteen then."  
  
"And now she's eighteen, almost nineteen. She's out of the Council's clutches, free to do whatever she wants."  
  
"Whomever she wants you mean."  
  
"I meant nothing for the sort. You know I am right about this. What was it she said to you when you brought her back the last time?"  
  
  
  
~*~*~  
  
  
"We're one in the same. We fight the same fight."  
  
"I know who I'm fighting; it's not the Council."  
  
"I fight myself."  
  
"And that's why you're here, Leila." Spike's tone was coated in as much tenderness as he could muster. He really did feel pity for the girl.  
  
"They can't help me; you can. You know what I'm going through."  
  
"I can't help you, Leila."  
  
"Yes, you can, Spike."  
  
Spike motioned for the guards. Four burly men grabbed the restrained patient and pulled her into her cell. "Till next time," she called to the retreating vampire.  
  
  
~*~*~  
  
  
Days later, he was still insisting that they were not alike, that she was just a crazy kid who was grasping at straws. He won that battle with his head and he did not like the idea of Giles insinuating he was wrong.  
  
"She thinks you have a connection. All I'm asking is for you to use that to our advantage. Will you do it?"  
  
"Can't rightly say now, can I?"  
  
"Find her tonight and see how it goes. I should think this job would be right up your alley, Spike."  
  
"You think I'm some kind of vamp whore?"  
  
"Spike-"  
  
"No, Rupes. I can do this job just fine. Slayer's not going to be too happy about this though. Chit's got morals, but you already know that. That's why you sent her away just now."  
  
Giles nodded in agreement. Buffy did have morals, but the Ripper inside of Giles was not below using other people's emotions against them. In fact, he liked having that kind of leverage on Leila. It helped ensure they would all stay alive just a little while longer. "This comes from the Council as well Spike."  
  
"They want to whore me out? Do I get extra money for my efforts?"  
  
"Stop saying that!" Giles burst out. "You are not a whore, Spike. All you have to do is put on the irresistible charm that you claim to have and find out who she's working for. Anything beyond that is your doing, not mine."  
  
Spike took in the details of his new assignment. He didn't like where this was most definitely going to lead him. "Fine, I'll be back later then." He turned to leave the room.  
  
"Still be careful, Spike. She is still mentally unstable."  
  
"Oh, Rupert, I didn't know you cared."  
  
  
  
  
Spike walked the dark streets of London. It was an eerie night. The fog rolled in earlier than usual, covering up any moonlight that might have shone through. Even amongst the din, Spike knew that people were scarce this evening. For that, he was glad. The last thing he wanted to do was run into anyone he knew at the moment. And Spike knew everyone that a vampire should know in London. He needed to think a bit more, think about his approach to Leila, think about the lie that he was going to tell.   
  
Spike roamed the city, reviewing the events of his life for the past five days. Everything was topsy turvy inside of his head. She was back, and he, for the unlife of him, could not decipher his feelings on the subject. Sometimes he looked at her and he felt the hurt, the intense pain that came with being with her, pain for him and pain for her. Other times, he stared into her perfect eyes and all he felt was euphoria comparable only to the first time he felt her body beneath his own. He didn't want to keep this from her, but there was no way he could tell her about his new escapade. The idea of disappointing her was tugging at his stomach; maybe it was just his hunger.  
  
  
  
It was easy enough to get away from her. After several sweeps through London's hot spots, he simply said he needed to check with a snitch.  
  
"Why can't I come with you? I am the Slayer. The demons around here   
should be aware of it."  
  
"On the contrary, sweets. I'd like to keep you a secret for a little while longer."  
  
She pouted and started to bitch again. She was the Slayer, he was the vampire and all that rot. He only got away by promising to fill her in and let her accompany him to O'Malley's the following day. She didn't know who O'Malley was, but he sounded important. For a woman with such good instincts, she sure could be gullible. Maybe that's another reason he loved her.  
  
  
  
The vampire stepped into his favorite hole-in-the-wall pub, Binkley's, to subdue said stomach pain. He sat at the bar, his hands propping up his head as he stared into his bourbon. He couldn't wait for his chips to arrive; Binkley's chips were his favorite, not like those American substitutes.  
  
"Sure ye don't want a pint with this, Spike?" Binkley asked as he scrutinized the vampire. "You're lookin' mighty pale."  
  
"You're one to talk, Binks," Spike chuckled. He looked at the bartender, an albino as it was, and shook his head. "Not now, mate. But, what's on tap tonight?"  
  
"Fresh O negative and a big batch of A positive. Might want to get it while ye can. Seems the demon community has been scramblin' into all the haunts, grabbin'' as much as they kin."  
  
This piqued Spike's interest. "Why's that now?" He knocked back his bourbon as he watched his friend dry glasses. Binkley was a good sort of man, knew when to talk and when to leave well enough alone. It was a good trait in a bartender.   
  
"Couldn't tell you. Had one bloke come in here last night, blatherin' away 'bout somethin' or other. Some impendin' doom, recruitment opportunity for those crazy enough to try it. But, I was gittin' the feelin' that he wanted to lay low for a spell."  
  
"This wouldn't have anything to do with some chit named Leila, would it?"  
  
"As a matter of fact." Binkley put the glass down and leaned into Spike. "She was in here not three days ago, buggerin' around for some information."  
  
"Really?" Spike quickly ran through his options. Leila was out possibly recruiting other vamps and scaring the other half shitless. Also there was an impending doom to factor in. He needed to find the girl and quickly before she got the upper hand permanently. But, how was he going to find her? Well, at least he knew she was definitely back in London. "Listen, Binkley, I need you to do me a favor."  
  
"For you, Spike, anythin'. Is this top secret stuff?" the bartender asked eagerly.  
  
Spike shook at his head at his friend then held his gaze with great seriousness. "On the contrary, mate, I need you to blab this one, to all the right people."  
  
  
  
Spike strolled home a little after two in the morning, rather earlier than the Watcher expected.  
  
"Spike." He called out as the vampire ascended the stairs. "Back so soon? Good news I hope."  
  
"I made sure the right people know I'm looking for her," he replied simply, not bothering to turn and see the disappointed look on Giles's face. Before Giles voiced his displeasure, Spike began his defense. "I can't just find her and question her; she'd never fall for it. This way she'll think she has the upper hand by responding to my request to see her."  
  
"Ohquite right," he remarked. "That's a very good idea."  
  
Spike started back up the staircase only to be halted once more. "Are you looking for Buffy?" The Watcher's voice was shaky.  
  
Spike winced at that tone. The Slayer's surrogate father, his business partner, was still worried about the vampire. Despite the conversation they had over a year ago in regards to Buffy, the Watcher still didn't trust him. Bet he slept with the door locked too. Spike was used to working with people he didn't trust, but he been diluted thinking Giles was different. He would never admit this outloud to a living soul, but Spike enjoyed working with the man, a great deal actually. Where he was impulsive, Giles was reserved, where Giles was all talk, Spike was all action. Where Spike screwed up, and it did happen on occasion, Giles knew how to fix it. Then there were the times when both the demon and Ripper went out to play. Those were good times. It was better than having sodding minions who were about as much entertainment as watching grapes turn to raisins. The combination worked well in their business, kept each other in a state of balance.   
  
Spike sighed as he prepared for the onslaught of long, poofy words that would stream from Giles's mouth. "Not at the moment, Watcher."  
  
"Spike, I feel I must say something. I- "  
  
"We're not together, Watcher," he stated plainly. "You have nothing to fear, Giles. Your Slayer is safe from the Big Bad."  
  
Giles removed his glasses and pointed the stem accusingly at Spike. "That's not what I meant, Spike."   
  
"Isn't it?" Spike grabbed hold of the banister with both hands and glowered at the man below. "You're afraid I'm going to make a move on your Slayer, aren't you?"  
  
"I want your head on straight is all. We have a specific task at hand. Leila is not stupid and she is unstable. You need to be on your game and not gallivanting around after Buffy."  
  
Normally, Spike would take this opportunity to make an innuendo or a sarcastic comment, something to shove Giles's nose back into his face where it belonged. But, he refrained because there was nothing to say. Now, if there was something to report, that might have been different; he could gloat in those circumstances. Spike had nothing to gloat about, nothing to show off. Giles had the girlfriend; Spike had no one. The love of his life was sleeping across the hall from him and he couldn't have her, couldn't touch her. He wanted to though, but he vowed not to touch her, not to get lost in her face and not to tell her he loved her. The latter was a big promise. He would not let those words leave his lips. No matter how many times he screamed it in his dreams, professed it lovingly in his head, he would never tell herif indeed he still felt that way. He still wasn't quite sure. And Giles's constant looks and comments weren't helping his situation. "So, your concern is strictly in regards to business."  
  
"Yes. Frankly, Spike, Buffy may do what she will with her social life; she was going to get married and certainly didn't need me looking over her shoulder then. I'm quite certain you can handle yourselves. However, where the Council is concerned-"  
  
"Fuck the Council," he said dismissively. "What care have you for the Council?"  
  
"I have care for you, you git, and for my Slayer. Things were different when we were in America. We are right under their noses and while you and I can get by I have concern now that Buffy is in the equation. Don't forget for a moment that Quentin wouldn't go to extremes if thought something was amiss."  
  
Spike slouched into the railing. "Again, neither they nor you have anything to worry about. Buffy and I are not romantically entwined."  
  
Giles knew Spike long enough to know when he lied; he wasn't now. The observant man also knew saying these truthful words pained Spike more than he was willing to admit. "Spike, I am not doing this to pain you. Oddly enough, I think I would be rather sad should you turn to dust." Both men gave a slight laugh at the admission. "I just want you to be clear."  
  
Spike cocked his head to the side. "I know where my loyalties lie."  
  
  
  
  
  
There you go. Next chapter will have some Spuffiness in it, Woohoo!  



	9. Tapestry

Disclaimer: Alert! Alert! I own nothing and I have a list of more things I do not own. I do not own the songs used in this story, the title is taken from Carole King's album, also not mine. I do not own anything that has to do with HGTV and I have no rites to Shakespeare's Works.  
That being said, I bet you're wondering about what the heck goes on in this chapter!  
  
A/N: I may not own anything, but I love Carole King and HGTV and Will Shakespeare. Just wanted to put that out there. If you are unfamiliar with the songs I chose, check them out, they kick ass.  
Enough of me. Til next Time. Oh and PLEASE REVIEW!!!! I thank you so much for the ones I have received. It makes me happy beyond measure.  
  
  
  
Chapter 9: Tapestry  
  
  
"So, Willow got her promotion?" Buffy asked her sister.  
  
"Yep, just got the confirmation yesterday or is it two days ago for you?"  
  
"Dawn, it's only like a five hour difference."  
  
Buffy was so happy Spike gave Dawn the number to their house. She missed her sister so much. So, when Buffy picked up the telephone late that morning and heard her beloved sister's voice, she squealed with excitement. Since she answered over an hour ago, Buffy and Dawn discussed everything under the sun, especially the wedding. Dawn was waiting for Buffy to mention her conversation with Spike, which she did after inquiring after her friends at home.  
  
"So, what did Spike tell you?" Buffy finally asked.  
  
"What do you mean?" Dawn asked, playing dumb.  
  
"I know he must have told you something about us so tell me what he said and I'll fill in the blanks or correct his statements should the need arise."  
  
"There's an 'us?'" Dawn's voice rose in hopefulness at that simple little word.  
  
"I didn't mean it that way. I just meantnot that way," Buffy stammered. She hadn't meant it that way, but it sounded fine in her head, like second nature.  
  
"He didn't say much, just that you talked and you were a huge hit at the wedding, which he is very happy about by the way."  
  
"Yeah, it was nice. We waltzed." Buffy paused to reflect on that, the music, the way they moved together. It gave her a fuzzy feeling in the pit of   
her stomach. "We talked. Both of uswe grew up a lot."  
  
Dawn gulped. "Does that mean apart?"  
  
"Not necessarily. Actually, we've been getting along well. The thing is I don't know if we are friends."  
  
"Do you want to be friends with Spike?"  
  
Buffy bypassed the question and continued in her own little daze. "Sometimes it's so easy to be around him and other times it's like eggshells and stone cutters."  
  
"Stone cutters?" Dawn repeated, utterly baffled by the comparison.   
  
But, Buffy didn't stop, she kept babbling, not fully realizing her thoughts were being heard. "But, either wayhe feels like home."  
  
"Well, Buff-"  
  
"I'd be fooling myself if I believed I only came to him just to talk, I know that."  
  
"Does he?" Dawn's question halted Buffy's tongue. "Did you tell Spike why you went to Argentina? You didn't even tell me what was so urgent you had to leave ASAP."  
  
"He was never going to come back, Dawn. He would have been content to stay here and write you every two weeks."  
  
"So, you went to him because?"  
  
"It's Slayer stuff, Dawnie, and I don't want to get into it over the phone."  
  
Dawn huffed. The noise blasted through the receiver into Buffy's ear. "Do you know if-when you're coming home?" Not that I need you here, she thought. I'd rather you stayed there awhile longer.  
  
"No. I need to be here for him and Giles."  
  
"Do you love him?"  
  
"Of course I love Giles!"  
  
"Buffy!" Dawn exclaimed. "You are exasperating! Do you love Spike?"  
  
"I never loved Spike, Dawn, you know that."  
  
Dawn sighed. This was her sister's way of avoiding questions she didn't feel like answering.  
  
Fine, if she wanted to be stubborn, Dawn would have to be annoying.  
  
"Buffy, do you remember how you were that first year without Spike, when you were redecorating your bedroom?"   
  
Buffy groaned. She knew what Dawn was getting at and she really hated her sister for bringing it up. It was a choice she made and she lived with it.  
  
  
~*~*~  
  
  
"Blue walls??!!"  
  
Dawn walked into her sister's room onto the tarp that covered her floor. Most of the furniture was moved out or covered with old sheets. There were paint cans all over the place, stencils, paint brushes, rollers. It looked like something out of HGTV.  
  
"Buffy? What did you do to your room?"  
  
Her sister was using a roller coated in a deep blue paint on her wall. "What does it look like I'm doing, Dawn? I'm redecorating." Buffy returned to her task, humming to the music on the radio.  
  
"You just suddenly decided to cover your bright walls with this depressing shade?" Dawn flopped onto the covered chair, looking first for any droplets.  
  
"It's not depressing, Dawnie. It's therapeutic. It's called Egyptian Blue or something or other." Buffy placed the roller into the paint tin. Hopping over a few obstacles, she joined her sister with a piece of paper in her hands. "I'm going to stencil this in gold for a border. What do you think?"  
  
Dawn glanced at the drawing and then at her sister. She really jumped off the deep end! "When did you get this brain child of a stupid idea?" she asked.  
  
"If you don't like, you can just say so," Buffy huffed. She went back to her painting, turning up her stereo on the way.  
  
"You want to know what I think Buffy?" She stalked over to the stereo and pressed 'PAUSE.'  
  
"Hey!"  
  
"I think you've been listening to this music for long enough." The teenager only received a glare from her sister.  
  
"I happen to like that CD, Dawn."  
  
"Ha! You've been listening to Mom's Carole King CD for over a week, Buffy. What? You want to make your room into your very own Tapestry?"   
  
Buffy leaned over and pressed 'PLAY.'  
  
_  
  
And it's too late, baby, now it's too late  
Though we really did try to make it  
Something inside has died and I can't hide  
And I just can't fake it  
_  
  
  
  
"It means nothing, Dawn. I'm just in the mood to appreciate Carole's contribution to music is all."  
  
"Then why do you have this song on replay day and night?"  
  
Buffy was getting pissed at these accusations. All she wanted was to fix her room. She was sick of looking at the blank walls. They were emotionless, mocking her with their lack of feeling while there she sat feeling every emotion possible with only a single thought in her head. Okay, so maybe Carole was influencing her color choices, with all the "wondrous woven magic in bits of blue and gold." But, that didn't mean she was psycho or anything. Music was supposed to inspired people to creativity. So, with the help of Carole King and her friends on HGTV, she had a project to sink her teeth into.  
  
"That happens to be a very big hit song," Buffy defended. She began to softly sing, trying to ignore her annoying sister. "'It's too late, baby. It's too late-"  
  
Dawn stopped the track and pushed the 'REVERSE' button. Buffy's face became blank when she heard the opening music. Damn her sister. She was in such a good mood before she came in.  
  
"This was a big hit too, Buffy." Dawn leaned against the still white closet door and observed her sister. She didn't care if she got in trouble for this. Someone had to break Buffy of this forced happy mood. No one saw how much she tried to put on her usual happy face. They all thought Buffy was doing better, she knew better than to bottled everything up like she used to. But, Dawn knew her sister. Old habits were hard to break.   
  
_  
  
So far away  
Doesn't anybody stay in one place any more?  
It would be so fine to see your face at my door  
Doesn't help to know you're just time away_  
  
  
  
Buffy dropped her things and let her silent tears trail down her blue stained cheeks.  
  
"Are you done?" she choked out, not looking at Dawn.  
  
"Are you?" Buffy nodded and wiped her nose. "Then I'll let you decide what to do about your room." She left, closing the door behind her.  
  
Buffy slumped to the floor. She looked at the mess she made. More than half her room was already blue. She already bought all the paint and supplies. She'd finish it, she just needed to sit a little while longer.  
  
_  
  
Traveling around sure gets me down and lonely  
Nothing else to do but close my mind  
I sure hope the road don't come to own me  
There's so many dreams I've yet to find  
But you're so far away  
_  
  
~*~*~  
  
  
"Yes, I remember. And I also remember you loving it when I was finished too," Buffy reminded, her voice challenging Dawn to continue down this road.  
  
And continue she did. "You seemed to do better after that episode."  
  
"Yeah, I replaced Tapestry with Enigma and Enya," Buffy chuckled.  
  
"Not my favorite choices," Dawn grumbled.   
  
"Look, I better get going, Dawnie. This phone call is going to be costing   
someone a lot of money."  
  
"Alright, Buffy. I miss you. Give Spike my love." And yours while you're at it, she thought.  
  
"Like he'd be without it," she laughed.  
  
"I know, but tell him all the same," Dawn encouraged.  
  
"Of course I will. I love you."  
  
"I love you too. Don't forget about what we talked about, well what you talked about."  
  
"Bye, Dawn."  
  
"Bye bye, Buffy."   
  
  
Buffy sat for several moments on her bed in a seemingly silent room. She watched the torrents of ever present rain cascade down her window panes; they completely blurred the outside. Inside, Buffy was a blur. She didn't know where her thoughts ended and her heart began. God, she hated her sister for making sense, for seeing right through her. She never used to; Buffy could hide anything from Dawn. Spike must have given her tips.  
  
"What am I doing?" she asked aloud. "I'm a grown up, damn it. I can function without him. I'll just go on and ask how he is, perfectly normal. Yes, friendly like. If he wants to be friends, I can do that, I'm the Slayer, I can do anything, face anything. If he doesn't want anything to do with me after this Leila business, I can handle that. I'll just go back home, back to work, back to my friends. I'll live my life and eventually I'll learn to ignore this knowing ache inside of me. I'll ignore the dreams I've been having and even the vision.  
  
She had it a few nights before her Slayer dreams reappeared. Cordelia insisted she needed to find Spike.  
  
  
  
~*~*~  
  
  
"Where is he? Why does he need me?" She wanted to know. All memories of every bad thing Spike ever did vanished at the thought that he was lying somewhere, needing her, waiting for her to find him, to make everything alright.  
  
"Now, if I told you all that, this wouldn't be a journey, would it?"  
  
"I'm going on a journey?"  
  
"Everyone is on a journey and I can't ruin it for you; I'm not going to show you the map, you need to find your way."  
  
"That was deep, Cordy."  
  
"Well, I didn't get this job for my pretty face now did I?" The two shared a laugh admits the strange situation.  
  
"Find him, Buffy. You know you've wanted to ever since he left. Now's your chance. Just remember, it's been awhile for both of you."  
  
"Don't I know it?" she mumbled. "But, he's okay right, physically at least?"  
  
"More than okay physically," Cordelia smiled. "Alright, I'm out of here. Go find the vampire, start your journey and don't think about this too much. Just begin and trust where you are going."  
  
"Is there a pot of gold at the end?"  
  
"I don't know about gold, but stranger things have happened. Good luck, Buffy."  
  
  
~*~*~  
  
  
  
Of course, it took a lot more than the former Bitch Queen to make Buffy leave the comforts and familiarity of home to search for an AWOL vampire. It was the dreams; they were killing her. She was constantly unsettled, begging for insomnia. Sleep found her all the same and dreams haunted her, filling her with confusion until she could no take it anymore.  
  
So, here I am, Buffy huffed. Now, where is Spike?  
  
She checked his bedroom, but there was no answer. She couldn't sense him on the other side so she decided he really wasn't there. She next tried downstairs.   
  
There he was, for once not wearing a white shirt. He wore a navy blue shirt that set off his incredibly rich blue eyes with blue jeans. He stood in the loft library in living room, hidden in the back stacks away from windows and prying eyes. His hand trailed over the books' spines, his fingers in search of a specific volume. Upon finding it, he flipped through the pages. He looked surreal to Buffy, standing there in all his blue glory, as if that color was made especially for him. Even in the shadows that draped over his form could not diminish the hue emanating from him. He looked so normal with a book in his hands. Buffy couldn't tell what it was, but it didn't seem to matter. She thought about William and his love of literature. The intent look in Spike's eyes must have been reminiscent of his human days. He was eager to find that page, that one line; she could almost feel his anticipation.  
  
"Enough voyeurism, Buffy," the Slayer scolded herself. She couldn't help it. His eyes batted back and forth across the yellow tinged pages of the old book. He reclined against one of the floor to ceiling shelves, looking oh so relaxed and at peace with himself.  
  
Still perusing his book, the vampire called out to his observer. "There's time limit you know."  
  
Buffy stepped away from the staircase toward Spike. "A time limit on what?"  
  
"On how long I let you stand there and stare at me." He looked up at Buffy who avoided his gaze in embarrassment. "Don't get me wrong, stare all you like, but do say something during your examination. Bloody unnerving it is."  
  
"What are you reading?" Buffy asked, desperate to switch the focus. She mirrored Spike's position on the opposite stack.  
  
" Venus and Adonis'," he replied, once again searching for his page.  
  
"I don't know that one," Buffy confessed.  
  
Spike snorted. "Didn't expect you to. It's Shakespeare, love."  
  
"So, what, you think I'm stupid or something?"  
  
"Of course not. I don't waste my time on stupid women." Spike and Buffy paused as they realized the compliment was mildly offensive, but they both decided to overlook it. "You're not stupid, Buffy, but, let's face it, reading has never been your forte."  
  
Buffy crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Oh yeah? How would you know?" she retorted, briefly reminding herself of Dawn at age twelve. Spike just gazed at her incorrigibly. "Fine then, educate me." Spike raised his scarred brow. "Read some to me."  
  
He smirked. "You want me to read you Venus and Adonis?'"  
  
"Not all of it, well not now at least, but, yes, recite."  
  
Spike thought on this for a moment. Despite their supposed truce and agreement to move forward not backward, he had to admit himself dumbfounded. Buffy was almost being sensitive. He caught her appreciative glances at him only moments ago and it did unnerve him. She was intent on finding something, but Spike was not sure as to what.   
  
He shook it off and indulged her. Spike looked down at his open book and selected a passage.   
  
"'Fondling' saith she, 'since I have hemm'd thee here,   
Within the circuit of this ivory pale-"  
  
"I'm confused." Buffy raised her hand in a typical third grade fashion. "What happened just before this?"  
  
Spike heaved a sigh. So, this was going to be a lesson afterall. "You know the goddess, Venus." Buffy rolled her eyes. "That would be a 'yes.' So, Venus is in love with Adonis, who is basically beautiful in every way."  
  
"So that where they got the phrase?" Strange, Buffy often thought of Spike as something of an Adonis, perfectly sculpted, kind of like a marble statue, beautiful when he wanted to be.  
  
"Yes, that's where they got the phrase. So, she wants him. Her lil sprog, Cupid, shot his mum in the chest with an arrow. Now, she's in love with him, but he doesn't want her. All he wants to do is hunt."  
  
Buffy laughed. "Yeah right. No one can resist Venus; she's the Goddess of Love." Buffy was pleased with her two cents, but Spike just gave a small chuckle. Guess Buffy didn't learn mythology.  
  
"Well, the bugger didn't want her. She follows him and traps him in her arms, hence the 'ivory pale.' Make sense, love?" Buffy nodded.  
  
'I'll be a park, and thou shalt be my deer;  
Feed where thou wilt, on mountain or in dale:  
Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry,  
Stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie.'  
  
Buffy's imagination whirled with the imagery Spike fed her. The words were so raw and palpable. She had to admit her own body's response to the luscious tones of Spike's voice as he spoke Venus's pleas for love. How could anyone have said no to someone full of this much affection? It was cruel. To be alone in the forest with the most desired woman of all time and deny her? And to be Venus, so gorgeous, the topic of many songs to come, and shot down so completely, she had to trap him to be heard?  
  
'Within this limit is relief enough,  
Sweet bottom-grass, and high delightful plain,  
Round rising hillocks, brakes obscure and rough,  
To shelter thee from tempest and from rain;  
Then be my deer, since I am such a park;  
No dog shall rouse thee, tho' a thousand bark.'"  
  
  
"Wow." Buffy released her exclamation on the breath she was unconsciously holding.   
  
"Did you understand it all?" Spike inquired.  
  
"I believe I did." Buffy took a moment to try to calm down her rapid blood flow still heading south. "She wants sex," she said all too bluntly.  
  
"It's not all about sex, Buffy."  
  
"Just the passage you chose to read me," she insinuated.  
  
The vampire had to smile at the accusation, which wasn't too far off. "I just happen to like that part, pet."  
  
"Is that what you want, a park for a woman and you her deer to prance upon?" Buffy took several steps toward him, closing in the small gap between them.  
  
Spike quickly closed the book shut with a loud bang. He held it out to Buffy, pushing her a few centimeters away from him with the gesture. He could not have her this close, not at that moment. "You should read the whole thing; it's not very long."  
  
She nudged the book, pressing it against Spike's chest. "Why don't you read some more to me, from the beginning. You are the teacher after all."  
  
Spike gulped. Teach Buffy Greek mythology? Read her myths like this one? Who was he kidding; it was about sex. "You don't need a teacher, Buffy. You know how to read."  
  
"Humor me." Her eyes were so playful, Spike almost felt like he was a child again. "This is more fun than a book on tape! It just soundsI don't knownatural coming from you. Maybe it's because you're like her. Maybe it's the accent," Buffy finished her sentence quickly, too much honesty. She didn't regret saying what she said, but she didn't want him to laugh at her comparison.  
  
"I'm like Venus?" He leaned further backward and raised his eyebrows. He was reminded of all those nights sitting on headstones, watching her try to back pedal after shoving her foot into her mouth. It was so sexy! "Enlighten me."  
  
Buffy blushed. This was worse than his laughter; it was borderline patronizing, teasing her with his sexy ways, it wasn't fair! "I only meant that you both are very blunt andpassionate when it comes to your feelings," she whispered, knowing he would hear her every word and every lilt in her voice. She stared into his ocean eyes. "Despite this being a woman's speech, I could hear you saying thisas a human-"  
  
"But not as I am," he presumed. His eyes clouded over and it pained her to see the transformation.   
  
"I didn't say that-"  
  
"But you were going to."  
  
"No, I wasn't, Spike. I was going to say as a human and as a vampire."  
  
"So, not much of a distinction?" Spike ventured.   
  
She gave him a half smile. "Not always."  
  
After a brief silence, Spike returned to the subject. "Fine then, I'll read it to you."   
  
Buffy leaned into him and placed a warm kiss upon his mouth, briefly taking in his bottom lip. She pulled away to find a very surprised vampire before her.  
  
"What was that for?" was all he could say.  
  
She shrugged. "Payment, for the lesson."  
  
Spike straightened his back. "I don't accept kisses as payments for anything."  
  
"Since when?" Buffy impulsively asked.   
Her hand immediately covered her mouth; she did it again. He stared at her indignantly; it shot right through her stomach where her guilt rested.   
"Spike, I- I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it. You know I didn't mean it."  
  
"Just couldn't help yourself?" He stepped away from her towards the railing. He concentrated on the floor below not on her slowly approaching form. He felt a warm hand on his shoulder and visibly winced. When he spoke, Buffy heard how he restrained his anger and hurt. "I don't accept kisses from obligated women."  
  
She roughly removed his right hand from its grasp and turned him to face her. "I'm not obligated to do anything."  
  
"Save it, Summers, I don't want to hear it anymore." He returned his focus on the railing.  
  
They stood their for several minutes. Buffy didn't know how to get herself out of this one. She never intended to kiss him in the first place and then insult him afterwards. But, she liked the kiss and wanted nothing more than to ease his tension. Her concentration broke when she heard someone enter the room below.  
  
"Spike!"  
  
  
  
  
Feedback please! Love me, Love me. Say that you love me. Fool me, fool me. Go one REVIEW ME! (Sorry, it's late right now. Next update..hmmmm...could be this weekend if I'm propely motivated. *hint hint*


	10. The Green Eyed Monster

Disclaimer: Same as always, want it all, own none of it. But, if we could arrange a borrowing system, I would be open to suggestions.  
  
A/N: I can not tell you how tickled pink I am at your reviews! I don't say it enough so here it is, I love you guys! I love writing this story and I am just so happy that you enjoy it as well. Thanks to all my readers, old and new alike. Your reviews for this fic have made this chick incredibly happy.   
So, here is my next chapter, hope you like it. It has some new people for you to meet. Enjoy. Till next Time!  
  
  
  
Chapter 10: The Green Eyed Monster  
  
  
"Spike, are you there?" Giles called as he entered the library.  
  
Spike rolled his eyes, just what he needed. "Up here, mate."  
  
"Oh, yes, good. What time were you planning to take Buffy to see O'Malley? You should do it soon if you have any hopes of seeing Leila this evening."  
  
"Soon, Giles," was Spike's answer.  
  
"And do remember to be charming, Spike. I know you have your methods, but I do think that kid gloves would be better, romance, that sort of thing."  
  
Spike wanted to laugh. Last night, Giles wanted to keep Buffy from knowing about this part of the plan. And, he just let the cat tear itself out of the bag. "I know what I'm doing, Watcher," he ground out.  
  
"So." Buffy poked her head over Spike's shoulder. Giles looked up and saw a cross look on his Slayer's face.  
  
"Oh, Dear Lord," he muttered.  
  
"When were you guys going to tell me about this alternate plan?" She strode down the stairs to Giles, leaving Spike in the loft.  
  
"Well, Buffy, we thought-"  
  
"You thought," Spike corrected.  
  
"Whomever. Buffy, this is the only way to get close enough to Leila, to gain her confidence. She has no idea what she's getting herself into and rather than leave her to the Council, we hope to help her ourselves."   
  
Buffy nodded. "Good plan. Should we head out then, Spike? Daylight is waning."  
  
Spike made no verbal answer. He was still upset with her earlier comments to him and her indifferent attitude at the present was a charade.   
  
Giles sighed at the vampire's lack of response. He obviously interrupted something in the loft, of what, he did not want to know. "I'm going to go back to the books, search the journals. I'm hoping someone in the late 1700's mentioned the burning incident of the Sanction." Giles left the two alone, hoping they wouldn't break anything in his absence.  
  
Buffy glared at the vampire, her arms tightly folded across her chest.   
  
"You lied," she stated flatly.  
  
"I didn't lie, Buffy."  
  
"What would you call it then, Spike? Careful wording?"  
  
"I call it my business, Slayer."  
  
"You were going to go and seduce that psycho and you don't think I should have known about it?"  
  
"And you are proving why. The Watcher knew you wouldn't like it."  
  
"He was right, I don't. But, you decided to do it anyway. I should have realized it was stupid to trust you; you haven't changed," she spat out.  
  
Spike hopped over the banister and landed below right in front of Buffy.  
  
"Get out of my way," she demanded.  
  
"You do realize what you are doing is pointless, don't you?" Buffy just stared at the vampire invading her personal space. "Lashing out at me isn't going to do anything. You're not mad I lied, but what I lied about. And you needn't be. So, I'll talk sweet to the lil thing. So what? All I'm looking for is information, nothing more."  
  
"Yeah, you never look for anything more."  
  
Spike took several steps back towards the door. "You know something, Summers? You are one piece of work. Since you came into this room, you've done nothing but insult me and my intelligence. And what did I do? Nothing!" He sighed as he reigned back in his temper. "I'm going to go to see O'Malley. You can come along if you want to. Right now I really don't care what you do."  
  
  
Buffy stood in the library by herself. she thought. That Buffy spit fire attitude got the better of her once again. She regretted what she said, everything she said. She didn't mean it, not really. She was just...surprised by this new plan of attack. And surprise turned to upset when she realized where Spike went last night after leaving her. He left her to go find the girl. That made her mad and instead of thinking before speaking, she opened her mouth and let the words fall out. Spike had every right to be angry with her after what she said before and now what she said about Leila. Why should she care? What Giles said made sense; they needed to gain her confidence and Spike had an uncanny talent of coercion. She left the room and ran up the stairs. "Spike! Wait up!"  
  
Spike stepped out into the hallway. "Any more barbs, Slayer? I think I still have some room on my back for them."  
  
"Spike, I'm sorry, okay? I-I don't know what's wrong with me. But, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, any of it actually." Spike just stared at her, examining her eyes. You believe me, right? she asked, uncertain. I really am sorry. She looked him in the eyes and held out her hand to him. "Truce?"  
  
Spike looked at her dainty hand with its slim fingers reaching out to him. He took them in his cool grasp. "We don't need a truce, Buffy. You said you were sorry. And, yes, I believe you." She smiled at him and he released her hand. "So, are you ready to leave?"  
  
Buffy nodded. The two made their way down the stairs. "So, who is this O'Malley guy?"  
  
"O'Malley is a font of knowledge. He's a little sprite of a thing, well leprechaun actually. His mum was a demon and his dad a lucky charm. He's a good man too."  
  
"Maybe I'll get my pot of gold after all," Buffy mumbled.  
  
"Pardon, love?"  
  
"Oh, nothing, wishful thinking. How do we find this O'Malley?"  
  
"How does one usually find a leprechaun?" Spike smiled.  
  
  
  
"Over the Rainbow Novelty and Magic Shop." Buffy read the sign on the small store window. "How hokey can you get?"  
  
We all have to make a living, Spike said as they entered the shop.   
  
It was a quaint shop with the basic tourists items like Mind the Gap key chain and pictures of Big Ben. It also had cabinets full of mystical looking gems and rocks and statuettes. Bookshelves were stocked with numerous titles, guides to London as well as popular fiction set in London and basic spells and harmless potion books.  
  
So, where is this guy? Buffy asked as she continued to look around the shop.  
  
Oi, O'Malley! Spike called out. Got someone here for you to meet.  
  
I can see that, a voice commented with a thick brogue. A wee lass you have there, Spike. Has she eaten today?  
  
Spike chuckled. Come on then, show yourself.  
  
A tiny burst of smoke and stars appeared behind the counter. Out from the cloud hopped a little man of ten inches with bright red hair and eyes as green as the Emerald Isle itself. He was wearing a coal gray wool suit with a maroon tie and a large smile across his rosy face.  
  
Here I am me friend. Well, let me take a look at ye here. O'Malley climbed on top of a stack of books. Buffy took a tentative step towards the man. My, quite the pretty one she is. You wouldn't happen to have annithin' against short men with a money fetish, do ye? he asked with a chuckle.  
  
Buffy laughed as well. Not as a rule, no.  
  
Back off a little there, mate. I haven't introduced you yet, Spike reminded his friend.  
  
By the looks of her, I'd say she's the Slayer.  
  
That she is, Spike answered. A spark of pride flashed across Spike's face as he walked to the Slayer's side. Shamus O'Malley, this is Buffy Summers, the Vampire Slayer.  
  
O'Malley reached out his small hand and Buffy took it with a bit of trepidation. She didn't want to hurt the man.  
  
It's nice to meet you, O'Malley.  
  
A sincere pleasure, Buffy. So, I'm assuming this isn't a social call. Spike isn't in the habit of bringing his lady friends to meet ol O'Malley.  
  
Right about that, mate. We need some information on a girl.  
  
You never had trouble with that! the leprechaun laughed as he sat down on the volumes. Must be some girl to warrant a Slayer.  
  
Her name is Leila, Buffy spoke up. She's a-  
  
Oh, I know who she is. Everyone from hill and dale knows about her. But, I can't help you there, not now atleast, not here.  
  
O'Malley looked around his shop and out the windows. When he was certain no one was in the vicinity, he said, Come with me.   
  
O'Malley led the two into a back room. There was a table and three chairs nothing else, no windows, no other doors, just the set in the middle of the small room.  
  
Sit down please, O'Malley said as he shoved the door closed. He joined them at the table. Now just close your eyes and breathe deeply. You too, vampire. They did as they were told.  
  
Even with her eyes closed, Buffy felt the room get smaller and cooler. but the air became thin. Buffy gasped for breath. Her heart pounded in her chest. She felt both men squeeze her hands, both knowing her trouble.  
  
Breathe darling, O'Malley whispered. Breathe deeply.  
  
She obeyed. As she exhaled, she felt the desperation for air pass.  
  
Open your eyes.  
  
Buffy let her lids drift open. They were sitting at the table, still holding hands, but the room was gone. In its place was a cottage, wooden floors and windows covering the walls. The soft scent of salt water wafted through the curtains. Buffy turned; outside was green as far as she could see. Green grass kissing the blue sky. Then she heard the sound of crashing waves and birds calling to their mates.  
  
Where are we? she wondered.  
  
Spike shrugged his shoulders and made his way to a shady corner. The sun was covered by the seashore fog, but he still wanted the coolness of the shadows.  
  
Where are we? Buffy asked again.   
  
Don't worry, darling, O'Malley smiled. Just a cloak around the old room. We couldn't talk in the shop, too many eyes. But, there's no one here, but us. So. O'Malley took a seat in a comfy cushioned chair. How can I help you with Leila?  
  
Spike explained. We have half of the Sanction, but we can't read it.  
  
Ha, I'm not surprised by that. No one can read that language anymore.  
  
Buffy stood. But, you can, can't you?  
  
O'Malley laughed. 'Course I can, darling. Do you have the pages on you?  
  
Spike snorted. You think Giles would let them out of the house?  
  
No, I suppose not. Well, is there anything else I can do for you?  
  
Nothing as of right now. We need to find out what she wants from the book and go from there.  
  
O'Malley paced the floor. Well, I can certainly stop by this evening and sit with Rupert, see about translating some pages. he finally said.   
  
It would really help us a lot, Buffy said.  
  
That is what I am here for, isn't it? Now, my dear, Buffy, do tell me something about yourself.  
  
They spent the next few minutes in idle chitchat. Buffy really enjoyed Shamus' company. He smiled while he talked about his family and how he met Spike and Giles. He was open and Buffy could see how Spike would like this man. Buffy even found herself sharing stories with him, telling him about Spike as the Big Bad. It wasn't said in any form of anger, she just smiled at the past events and O'Malley laughed at his good friend's adventures. Spike didn't seem to mind. He stayed silent and just watched the woman he loved fill with mirth.  
  
O'Malley literally snapped them back to reality with his fingers. They set a time to meet at the townhouse and said their goodbyes.  
  
So, we'll meet O'Malley tonight and he can shed some light on this Leila situation, Buffy said as the rounded the corner to Spike's street.  
  
Spike shrugged. I hope so, he mumbled.  
  
You're going out tonight, aren't you? Buffy asked, already knowing the answer. Spike just nodded. And...you don't want me to go, right?  
  
I'm hoping to get a bite on where Leila is. If I do, I don't want you to be there. Buffy grimaced slightly. If I run into Leila, the last person I want her to see is you.  
  
What am I supposed to do in the meantime? Knit cunning little sweaters for you? she joked.  
  
He smiled at that. She wasn't angry anymore. Well, I've been told I look quite fetching in green.  
  
Yes, green, but I prefer you in blue...or black.  
  
I've had enough of black, he said flatly. But, blue is fine...if that's what you prefer.   
  
Who knows? Maybe I'll just surprise you.  
  
  
Buffy put on a good front, but inside her head was swimming with thoughts. She wasn't going to stay home and knit. She was the Slayer and she would find a way to work, whether it was beating people up or do some sleuthing herself. It's not that she minded Spike's help, quite the contrary, she loved working with him again. But, she didn't like him telling her what to do. Especially when he told her to sit on her ass and wait for him to say jump.' Well, he was more generous than that, but she was still going to go out tonight and see what she could find.  
  
  
  
  
Your jobs are simple, the man told his congregation of London's demon low lives. You have been chosen for your strength and your ability to take orders. Both of these will be integral in your staying alive.   
  
The man looked off into the shadows that covered the large space. He couldn't see her, but he knew she was there and he smiled. You ask no questions, you do as you are told and paid accordingly. Also, one other house rule, all food items you bring in you must also dispose of. We do not have a cleaning service and I do not want this place smelling of decaying corpses. Are we agreed?   
  
The demons groaned and grumbled their agreement. The man before them may have looked plain, but they knew he had power and he had _her _to back him up. None of them wanted to take her on.   
  
Very good. Now, this will be done my way, the orderly way. I will need a team for reconnaissance, one for protection and those of you knowledgeable in the finer dark arts will have a very special task at hand. As you have pledged your loyalty to me, you have also pledged it to my partner. The man gestured to the shadows, holding out his open hand. Out from the cover of black stepped a woman, her eyes closed, but her steps showed great confidence. She took the offered hand and looked up at the group. The demons all stared, transfixed on the creature before them. So, this was Leila, they all thought.  
  
Leila will be your contact on a nightly basis. No one dared make an objection. Everyone, rest up. There are some refreshments at the back of the room, please help yourselves, but do clean up. You'll be receiving assignments at in a few hours. The group went straight for the food which was displayed on several long tables and hung and gagged along the walls. This man had power and money to put out such a delectable spread.  
  
Now, love, the man said turning to Leila. You know what you are doing tonight?   
  
She gave him a half smile and wrapped an arm around his waist and planted a firm kiss on his lips. Of course, she purred, her voice pure pleasure to his ears. You'll be home tonight? she wondered, her vibrant eyes suddenly held a child's insecurity.  
  
Waiting for you, my dear. He kissed her forehead and disentangled himself from her. With a disgusted glance at their new minions, he walked out of the room.  
  
Leila watched the slovenly masses; they'd never seen so much food at once and all for them. Leila thought. Not for them, all for me. Her teethy grin grew as her demon's face came to the surface. An evil shiver coursed through her and she bounded to the back of the room. The minions immediately ceased their hoarding, all conversation stopped as the creature approached.  
  
Leila stood in front of a trembling young female. She grabbed the back of her head, her hand held a deathly grip on her hair. Don't be scared, she said, her evil grin still in place. It will hurt a great deal, just not for long. She bared the girl's neck. So young and pure, a virgin, how sweet and sad, never knew the joys of man's naked body against her own. She briefly thought of passing her off to one of the other vampires before she fed, open up the snack's eyes before she dies. But, the thought was batted away as a sliver of mercy seeped into her brain. She quickly sank her teeth into the girl's neck and sucked her untainted blood from her body.  
  
  
  
Spike approached Buffy's bedroom door. He was going out and he felt he needed to tell her. He knocked on the door and it opened slightly. Spike peered in and saw Buffy standing in front of the mirror. He admired her from the doorway; she was wearing cream slacks and a black, bell sleeved shirt with a plunging neck line. She fastened a beaded necklace around her slender neck. He noted matching earrings...and her vanilla scented body lotion...and she curled her hair!  
  
Where are you going dressed like that? he asked, stepping into the room.  
  
Buffy spun around quickly, surprised by the vampire's words. She silently cursed herself for not realizing he was behind her. He was always a warm tingle at the back of her head, but since he was always around, she usually ignored it, thinking he could be anywhere from the backyard to his current position. She would always feel him.   
  
Don't you knock? she asked as she turned back to the mirror. Necklace looked good; time for the hair.  
  
This coming from you? Who never would lift her dainty fist to knock on my door?  
  
Buffy just rolled her eyes at the empty space where Spike's reflection should be. She couldn't see his movements, but she knew his eyes were freely roaming over her body. she smiled to herself. Take in an eye full, Spike cause it's not for you.  
  
What do you want, Spike?  
  
I want you to answer my question. Where are you going dressed like that?  
  
She feigned a sigh. If you must know, Colin asked me to join him for dinner this evening. He felt bad I had to cancel our outing because of his father and wanted to make up for it. Giles doesn't need me, you don't need me, so I said yes.  
  
Colin! You're going out with that soddin' poofter?! Spike exclaimed.  
  
I believe that's what I said, she replied. Besides, I figure he might have some inside info on Daddy he'd be willing to share. Couldn't hurt.  
  
She turned to Spike, concern on her face. You're British, is this outfit okay for a nice night on the town? She spun around, giving him the full look.   
  
I can't believe you agreed. The boy is a uptight and boring as his father. What makes you think he'll tell you anything. He just met you! Spike fumed. His anger threatened to consume him completely. As it was, his face was a chamber of tension, his jaw clenched and muscles twitching.  
  
Yeah, and he already asked me out. I think it's a sign.  
  
You can not be serious, Buffy. The man is a snore and an asshole. I don't want you anywhere near him. Oh, sure, he might have a decent facade, but that's all it is. He's a bastard, a Travers for Christ's sake!  
  
Why, Spike, are you jealous? Buffy asked in a mockingly sickly sweet tone of voice.  
  
Spike threw his head back and let out a hard single, Ha! Not bloody likely, Slayer. Just didn't think you'd stoop to this.  
  
Buffy stepped towards him, ready to pounce. Stoop to what exactly?  
  
He leaned into Buffy, but she remained still, trying to repress the delicious shivers she received from his cool breath dancing on her cheeks. You're trying to make me jealous. The only reason you're going out with Travers is because you know I don't like him.  
  
_Deplore_ him is more like it, she corrected, allowing a sliver of a smile to escape her frigid facade.  
  
Do you deny it then? Spike returned the smile.  
  
I think you are paranoid and egotistical.   
  
So, what did I do now to deserve this? Spike's hardened face melted away into one of confusion. Even with this vulnerable emotion in play, Spike returned his intense gaze to Buffy's eyes, feeling them out, searching for an answer.  
  
You give yourself too much credit, Spike. Not everything is about you. And nothing you do will affect me. The last statement sounded like she was trying to convince herself and Spike of its truthfulness.  
  
You want to build that wall up a little higher, Slayer?  
  
Don't twist this around on me, _vampire _, she spat out. I'm not a piece of china, Spike; I know your games and tricks.  
  
Never thought you would, love. Your bricks are piled so high and thick and rhino couldn't break through.  
  
Why do you presume to know me so well?  
  
I presume nothing. I do know you, Slayer. And I know Buffy. I never played any of my aforementioned tricks on you.  
  
No, no tricks, she agreed, giving him a steely look. You did everything right to my face.  
  
If I'm such a wretch, why are you still here?  
  
Business, just business, she replied, firmly stepping into Slayer mode.  
  
Very well then. So, as my business associate, you can trust to have a full report of tonight's activities in the morning.  
  
I won't need the color photos though, she quipped.  
  
You prefer black and white. He didn't mean photos and she knew it.  
  
I know you, she whispered. her tone was strong and assertive and almost longing. I know all the facets of Spike, including William. But, I don't think I've seen him since Buenos Aires.  
  
Maybe it's the climate, he suggested.  
  
Buffy turned from and faced the mirror, pretending to care about her appearance. If it's too cold for you, get out of the room.  
  
Don't mind if I do. He slammed the door behind him as he left.  
  
Buffy stood completely still and tried to register everything that was just said in this latest fight. She knew he was right; she should not be around Leila at this time. As soon as she saw her, shed be ready to cut out her eyes for ever looking at Spike.  
  
When did I get to be so jealous? she asked her reflection. Buffy quickly went over her relationships one by one searching for signs of the green eyed monster. Well, I am protective, but not jealous. He's not even mine to be jealous over, she realized glumly.  
  
And I'm all the better for it.  
  
She began the task of fastening her curls in the most becoming fashion. I don't know what I was thinking before. It must have been the poem. Bad Shakespeare! Spike reading those beautiful, erotic words with that beautiful, erotic voice just... Buffy swallowed trying to suppress the heat screaming through her. It bewitched me for a second. What woman wouldn't have lost her senses at the sight...and the sound... Buffy released her hair which was now twisted around her ambling fingers.   
  
She stared at herself, particularly her lips. She kissed him that morning. It felt so natural to do so. She barely hesitated, the desire ws too great. It wasn't that confusing, overpowering need for full contact like so many years before. This desire was just to touch him, to further that tiny tingle inside of her and hopefully give it to him. She was content with this slight contact. She didn't want to devour him or be devoured by him. She wanted to feel with him, exist in the same moment equally with him. And she did. In a matter of a few heartbeats, she felt all of that.  
  
Then it vanished when she became jealous over a child's fantasy. It was in her nature. Buffy doesn't share well with others, she concluded. But he's not mine. He doesn't want me like that anymore. He hasn't once said he loved me since I found him. That's because he doesn't, Buffy, she tried to convince herself.  
  
Deciding once again, she didn't care how she looked, she turned from the offending reflection, the one that told truth. If she didn't see it, see her own eyes betraying her words, then she could deny it just a little bit longer.  
  
  
  
Dear Lord, Giles gasped as he read one of O'Malley's translations.  
  
My sentiments, O'Malley agreed. That is a literal translation, but I think this little bit here is the one we've been looking for.  
  
Giles read the words out loud, hoping they would sound more real.  
  
A life split in two shall reunite on the Night of the Ill Fated.  
When black is black  
And wrong is right  
The Heavens shall commence and rain down their might  
Black blood and ivory stone together mixed shall become one  
With the Father's form of justice.  
  
Rather foreboding, isn't it?   
  
Giles continued to stare at the text. He had a feeling they just discovered the prophecy Leila wanted. But, what does it mean? he spoke out loud.  
  
I think I know. O'Malley started pacing the long dining room table as he processed his thoughts.  
  
Both men turned as Spike flew down the stairs and slammed the door as he left. They stayed silent until the reverberation died away, neither desiring to chase after the vampire who looked ready for blood.  
  
Wonder what that was about? O'Malley asked as he continued his pacing.  
  
I will give you one guess, Giles responded, knowing full well what was happening. Buffy and Spike were fighting, which wasn't unusual. What was out of the ordinary was the way they fought. In the old days, they fought out of pure hatred, neither giving a damn if their words caused distress. Now, too many other factors were in play, hatred not being on of them. The observer noted anger, frustration, confusion, hurt and affection. A great deal of the latter. No wonder they were going at it.  
  
But, that wasn't on the agenda at the moment. Leila was and O'Malley still hadn't said anything, just continued to wear a whole in his table.  
  
Out with it, man, Giles urged.  
  
This prophecy is centered around Leila herself. She is the one intended for the Night of the Ill Fated; that was the night of her conception.  
  
Giles dropped his glasses onto the table, utterly stunned. Leila's conception!  
  
It's the key to this entire ordeal. O'Malley let out a sigh. Leila, she seeks integration. She- she wants to rid herself of the good and evil, effectively be whole.  
  
Can she do that? Giles wanted to know.  
  
She can try, the leprechaun offered. If she does succeed...well, let's just say, we don't want her to succeed.  
  
Right. She'd be unstoppable.  



	11. Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps

Disclaimer: Own nothing, Want nothing. Oh, who am I kidding? That's such a lie! I do want it! I want it all! Can't sue me for wanting though :)  
Song lyrics are from Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps, as sung by Doris Day. Don't own it or Doris, but, it's a great lil ditty.  
  
A/N: Hey all! Thanks for all the reviews, they make me smile so much. Please do REVIEW though, make me smile. I don't give a damn about laugh lines and all that stuff! This is a two parter simply because I thought it was rather long. The lyrics are between the *'s.   
Alrighty enjoy!  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 11: Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps  
  
_  
  
*You won't admit you love me  
And so how am I ever to know?  
You only tell me  
Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps*  
  
_  
  
  
Spike sulked in a corner booth at Binkley's. He stared into his stout, the dark liquid that had no bottom. He wasn't drunk, regretfully, he was stone cold sober. He'd barely touched his drink, just stared into it, imagining the void within.  
  
If only he could dive into it, surround himself in a cool darkness that tingled his senses. Drown himself in everthing......nothing....... _anything _but her. His persistent trouble maker, she was. His silver spoon stirring up his emotions. Lord, how she angered him, amused him to no end. She was his muse, her smile his aphrodisiac. Buffy never knew what she meant to him.   
  
He loved her, but what was that, love? A simple four letter word that people used every day. I love you, Mum. I love my life. I love that sweater. Love is a saturated word, one used so often and so often with so little feeling behind it. Did the world even realize how they cheapened such a word?   
  
Spike remembered something his dear mum said to him so long ago.  
  
Never say I love you' unless you mean it, William. For saying it too much reduces love to an obligation. When you love, love with everything you have inside of you. It is such an awe inspiring feeling, why shouldn't one feel it thoroughly and completely? Be complete, my William.  
  
William loved his mum. He loved what she said to him, the way she said it, with such abandon! He wrote down her exact statement so he could always savor it, live by it, and he did.  
Spike never took anything for granted, especially his love. It was all consuming. How could he possibly convey the totality of his affection? When he saw Buffy, saw her smile, saw her fight, the fire in her eyes during their arguments, when he saw her honesty, he saw his heart, alive, fresh, full of life walking around outside of his body, staring into his ice blue eyes, an undeniable part of him, the best part. She was the best thing to grace his sight. She was his, but more importantly, he was hers. She might not know it, she might not _like_ it, but they were bound to each other by something more than a silly word. He felt it radiating off of her. He wasn't ready to admit and she wasn't ready to voice it. He loved her, but he wouldn't say it until she knew what it meant for him to say the words. To tell his heart what she was, the love of his life.  
  
Been waiting long?  
  
Spike looked up from his pilsner to see O'Malley. He was hoping to see him this evening. You're right on time, mate.  
  
I didn't mean me, Spike. Shamus O'Malley is as punctual as a leprechaun ever was. No, I was referrin' to that look in your eyes.  
  
Spike snorted and smirked at his comrade. And what look is that, Shamus?  
  
You look like you figured out the answer to a long plaguing question, he answered.  
  
You might say that. So, what have you got for me? Spike finally gulped down his stout as his friend pulled up a coaster on the table.  
  
  
  
  
Her violet eyes penetrated through the creature before her. Thick dark curls fell over her unnaturally pale skin. Her full rosy lips were set in a sneer, making her striking face show her deadly intentions.  
  
Tell me, Leila purred into the fledgling ear.  
  
The demon shuddered at the sound of her voice. Anyone intune with the supernatural would feel the power pouring out of this woman. Everything about her was an oxymoron, wrong; the good and evil intentions were so strong.  
  
Tell me, she repeated, placing her long slender fingers around the demon's neck. What do you have to say?  
  
It's Spike, he rasps under her grip.  
  
She loosened her hand at the sound of his name, but her features remained hardened. What about him? She tried to contain the anxiousness in her voice.  
  
The word's out all over town. He's been busy talking to everyone trying to find you.  
  
Well, he won't find me. I'm not going back.  
  
I don't think he wants to bring you in.  
  
What makes you say that?  
  
Spike knew who to talk to. He wanted you to know he was looking for you, said something about next time being now.' That mean anything to you?  
  
She smiled, her eyes twinkled, she was beautiful at that moment, almost happy. Actually, I do.  
  
Her reverie of the bleached blonde vampire was interrupted by the demon once more. So, how about that reward you promised?  
  
She set her eyes on the repulsive demon. This _thing _wanted his prize for delivering this sliver of information. Did he have any idea how irritable she could be? From the expectant look on his face, she guessed not. Well, she would give him a gift. Of course, she finally replied.  
  
She tightened her grip on the demon's throat. He tried to pry her off, but she was too strong for him. His yellow eyes rolled into the back of his head. She laughed at the sight. No simple demon could beat her, certainly never this weakling. She quickly closed her fist and crushed his neck, the sound of cracking spinal cord and the swish of splurting blood and tissue delighted her even more. Her tongue shot out of her mouth and languidly licked the spray from her face and ran it over her teeth. The vampire hidden inside of her always demanded blood.  
  
Her joy ended abruptly when she looked down and saw the mess she made, the almost headless demon hanging limply from her fingers. She quickly released the body and stepped away from it. Shouldn't have asked for a reward, she mumbled into her red stained hands. She shook her head slowly, back and forth, back and forth. Shouldn't have asked. I gave you a reward, she insisted. Who would want to live in this world anyway? I'm sure you'd thank me if you could. She turned and walked out of the alley, leaving the corpse for scavengers.  
  
So, William the Bloody was out looking for her. How intriguing! She figured he returned to England when he found out about her disappearance. Oh, she was delighted. She hadn't seen Spike in two years, but she thought of him everyday. Besides the most obvious body parts to dream about, she dwelled on his eyes. They held such fire in their depths. For one whose touch was ice, he set her afire.  
  
She walked the streets, ignoring the looks and cat calls of drunken men. She had changed a great deal in two years; she'd grown up in more ways than one. She felt her pulse elevate at the thought of showing Spike her improvements. She let her mind drift to their last conversation. How quick he was to disagree with all of her accusations. Had he reached his senses? Or was it a trap? One side of her screamed to let him be, but the other, the part that desired him and his fight, raged forth. She set out to the one place he was sure to be. God, she loved how well she knew him! Their encounters were always brief, but she retained so much from them. She studied him as one would a fine piece of art, memorizing every nuance, every curvature, everything that set him apart from the masses. It was all locked away inside her Gemini mind to use in whatever mood may overcome her.   
  
  
Buffy's heart was just not in this, neither was her head. She sat at a table for two absently playing with her fork while Colin droned on about some case his father had him working on.  
  
And you really would not believe how quickly Quarium demons reproduce. It is really quite extraordinary. Buffy didn't respond. Colin peered over to her napkin and saw the connect-the -dots pattern his date made. I suppose you aren't interested in the mating rituals of Quarium demons. Perhaps the sterilization of vampires would be appropriate.  
  
Buffy lazily looked at her companion. Excuse me? Did I hear you correctly?  
  
Colin shrugged. You are the Vampire Slayer. Aren't you interested in their makeup, what makes them them? I would imagine it would help in your stratagem.  
  
I know enough about vampires and their rituals. As far as strategy, hasn't changed much, pointy end of the stick through the heart works for me. Buffy took a gulp of her wine. Now, why would you be interested in such a subject?  
  
It was my thesis. I studied various species of demons, vampires included. The topic was a comparison between human and demonic relations with their own genus.  
  
Buffy blinked her surprise. I would think the Council would frown on anything comparing humans to demons.  
  
It did cause quite a stir until they realized I made some accurate arguments. They enjoy having someone with this extensive knowledge. That is why my father called me in to consult on Leila when I joined the Council. Unfortunately, she is a rare breed, nothing like her in all the world. Hybrids have been created, but never her combination.  
  
So, you haven't discovered anything lately? Buffy asked, hoping he would continue his speeches and tell her something useful.  
  
Regretfully, no. Perhaps your vampire will have better luck. I'm told his methods of persuasion are...well...persuasive.  
  
He's not my vampire, she interjected.  
  
_  
  
  
*A million times I ask you  
And then I ask you over again  
You only answer  
Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps*  
  
_  
  
  
So, it had to do with energy?  
  
Of course, my good lad, Shamus smiled. The night of Leila's conception, the Malanto Destino, if you will, the mystical and demonic energies were thriving off of each other, countering each other. The night crackled and sparked from the pressure. And then there was a Slayer's daughter and a vampire.  
  
Now, here you loose me. How old was this Slayer? Or rather how young was the daughter?  
  
O'Malley crossed his legs and propped them up on Spike's ash tray. The Slayer was thirty five and her daughter was sixteen. He noted Spike's disbelief. I know what you are thinking, how could a Slayer live so long and not be legendary? Spike nodded. She was erased from the diaries once it became clear she would not be returning to this dimension.  
  
The Slayer, one Nellie Fairbanks, was sent to another dimension to assist in an uprising, but she refused to leave her daughter behind. But, time became an issue, works differently over there, you see, and we couldn't go on much longer without a Slayer. So, there was a cover up and they relinquished all ties to Nellie.  
  
That's our Council, Spike snorted. They just abandoned that poor young woman and her child in a foreign land.   
  
But, she chose to stay, make a life for herself and the little one. But   
the uprising progressed into a full war. Shamus shook his head. The energies that night exploded during conception burning most of the camps.  
  
That sounds like fun. Wish I knew about it. Dru and I could have had a bloody good time.  
  
Your intentions have been concentrated on less post mordum fields as of late, Shamus reminded the vampire. He may still try to be the creature he was years ago, but O'Malley knew Spike would never want to go back, not anymore. She is something, my friend. I could feel her from outside the store.  
  
Try feeling her on another continent. Actually, don't, I wouldn't wish that one you.  
  
O'Malley began, leaning closer to Spike, is it love for the vampire then? Has she bewitched you again?  
  
_  
  
*If you can't make your mind up  
We'll never get started*  
  
  
_  
  
  
  
  
  
Spike is his own man, a rather secretive one at that. I'm sure I'd be the last to know his true feelings.  
  
The lover always is, Colin commented before taking a sip of his white wine.  
  
Buffy just let her mind wonder, trying to block out Colin's observations. But, nothing worked; her mind was stuck in a Spike warp, where every thought linked itself to him.  
  
White wine. Spike drank red, always red. Red like blood, never white. White like the color he always wore, something is always white. Why did he change his clothes? Spike liked his dark shirts, red, blue, maroon, brown button down. Not a one in sight, save the occasional shade of blue. Blue like his eyes. He had his duster back, but never wore it. He loved that worn black leather prize, but it was stuffed in a closet, out of sight, out of mind. Off his body, as if it was locked away in a prison. His jacket was bad, black bad. White good, color of atonement.  
  
That's it! Buffy exclaimed.  
  
Colin stared at the Slayer, who had been quiet for some time. She had drifted off, but now her emerald eyes were alert and focused. Pardon me?  
  
she said, slightly embarrassed at her very vocal outburst. But, she couldn't help it. I cracked the code, she thought. The Wardrobe Code. He doesn't wear the duster because it represents his evil days, and compensates with excessive use of white. How cute! No- no not cute. It's a bit extreme really, but if that is what he needs... He can't hide behind clothes though.  
  
She made a deal with herself. Spike needed to tell her how he felt before she entertained notions of confessing her feelings. That way, she ensured any doubts of rejection. She couldn't be rejected by him, never him, always someone else, never him. He needed to chose.  
  
  
  
But, I don't want to talk about that, Spike told his friend as he knocked back his second Guinness and motioned to Binkley for another.  
  
It's not my area of expertise. O'malley reached for his thimble full of Spike's chosen liquid.  
  
Neither is it mine. So, keep talking about Leila. The Slayer's daughter and the vampire had a baby.  
  
In that dimension, yes. The Slayer was furious when she found out, even more so when she realized it was a trap. It wasn't star crossed lovers; just destiny, sick destiny, malanto destino. Nellie killed the baby's father so subsequently, the daughter was turned and killed before she could rise. Leila was left with a friend until the Council swooped in. They didn't know what they were getting themselves into.  
  
I'll drink to that. Spike raised his glass. Cheers, mate.  
  
O'Malley raised his thimble. Well, my tale has been told. I must be off, passed my bedtime.  
  
Thanks, O'Malley. But, you'll come round tomorrow though.  
  
O'Malley, nodded his agreement. Wouldn't miss it. I'm looking forward to seeing that girl of yours. I think she put the color back in your cheeks. He stood and hopped onto the floor with ease. Oh, and I'm glad you found your answer to your question.  
  
Spike watched his friend scurry out of the pub. He then turned his confused blue eyes to his liquor. I don't have any answers.  
  
_  
  
*And I don't want to wind up  
Being parted, broken hearted*  
  
  
_  
Should I stay? Should I go? Should I stay? Should I go? Buffy rattled off her two choices repeatedly as Colin continued to bore her with tales of his research in...... Australia was it? Learning about the Fugarth demons courtship traditions.  
  
And then, if she accepts the offering of Koala claws and serpent feces-  
  
I have to go, Buffy announced. She stood up and tossed her napkin to the table. Sorry for this, Colin, but duty calls.  
  
Tonight is your night off, he reminded her.  
  
Slayers shouldn't get nights off.  
  
She walked out of the restaurant and into the street. She didn't really know where she was, but remembered the flat was down a few blocks to the right. Buffy turned left, allowing her feet and instincts to guide her. Somehow she knew she find him or he would find her. It was on this optimistic note she found herself at O'Malley's store.  
  
she called out, knocking on the door. He would know where to find Spike.  
  
_  
  
*So if you really love me, say yes  
But if you don't, dear, confess  
And please don't tell me  
Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps*_  
  
  
  
  
  
  
On a personal note: Part of the speech Will's mum gave, my mom actually gave to me as a child. One of those things that stick with you.  
  



	12. Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps, Part Two

Spike sat for some time in his booth, melting into the pleather cushions and into the recesses of the shadows. So consumed was he with thoughts of his Slayer, her lips that gently touched is, her confident shoulders and her laugh that warmed him to the core, the scowl that turned him cold, that he failed to sense the woman who was now behind him. He just continued to think of her, what she was doing with Colin Travers. He was so insecure about their current status that his jealousy grew all the more. He knew Buffy's had as well. He forgave that, but it still didn't squelch the feelings of dread that sat in his chest when he thought about the two of them.  
  
Never would I wish such sorrow in those eyes.  
  
Spike didn't even afford her a glance. Not in the mood for your poetry, Leila.  
  
What are you in the mood for? she cooed as she slinked into the seat across from him.  
  
He looked up at her from under his lids. he said.  
  
Easy to cheat in that game.  
  
I cheat life daily so this will be a piece of cake.  
  
Why so glum, Spike? Leila stretched out, letting one of her legs slowly rub along the inside of Spike's.   
  
Damn it, Leila, I said I wasn't in the mood, he warned, kicking her away. So, why don't you go on your merry way and leave me be before I decide to haul you into the Council.  
  
Leila pouted and crossed her arms over her full chest. Why don't you?  
  
Not in the mood for that either, he said with a sigh. He roughly ran his fingers through his hair, causing the curls to spring up.   
  
Why don't you tell me why you want to see me then? Really, this conversation is rather dreadful when you don't want to talk about anything.  
  
How did you find me? he asked, switching the focus of the conversation. Leila simply shrugged her shoulders. I want to help you, Leila, he confessed, leaning over the table.  
  
Help me with what? she wanted to know. I'm fine since I got out. I don't need saving.  
  
And I'm no sodding savior. That's not what I meant.  
  
Then what do you mean? she asked, bending forward until she was eye to eye with him.  
  
I don't want anything to happen to you.  
  
Spike, you know as well as I, you are the only one who has had the good fortune to beat me. A childish grin played on her face. Spike was taken aback at this, her face glowed with youth.  
  
Good fortune my ass. I can take you any time I want to.  
  
That you can, love, that you can, she agreed, her voice thick with innuendo. But, you won't. She sat back and observed the vampire. It was all very touching, wanting to protect her. She knew he meant it, but she didn't want to be one of his charity cases. She wasn't just one of his damsels in distress; she wasn't distressed at all, she was in control and she loved it. Do you remember when we first met?  
  
It wasn't that long ago, pet.  
  
No, I suppose it wasn't, well, not for someone with an unlimited life span. But, to us mere humans, it's longer.  
  
You are no mere human, Leila.  
  
Then what am I?  
  
A Gemini, Spike answered.  
  
Leila let out a hard laugh, almost a cackle. Yeah, Gemini, two halves fighting to be whole. She reached over and snagged Spike's drink, taking a healthy swig before placing it down again. What are you?  
  
Spike rolled his eyes and finished what Leila started with his Guinness. The glass made a loud bang as he slammed it down, the hollow sound resonated through the wooden table. He hated this part of the conversation. Why did she have to get philosophical when he was just in the mood for good quality banter. He was getting tired, very quickly.  
  
He stood up and threw a few notes down on the table. I'm a vampire, nothing more, nothing less.  
  
He left Leila there and welcomed the cool London fog, knowing full well he was being watched.  
  
You are so much more, Spike, Leila called out to him.  
  
Spike looked into her haunting violet eyes. It was such an unnatural shade, one that demanded as much attention as Leila herself. Spike had seen her transfer from good girl to bad before. This vixen in front of him was trying to be both. It didn't fool the Master Vampire, very little did. This girl was not as comfortable as she thought. But, she was a beauty. Too bad she was so young and so crazy and he was so in love.  
  
I don't know what delusions you are sporting. I'm just a master Vampire going about his own business.  
  
Leila chuckled at his surmise. She stepped into him, the familiar scent of Spike invaded her senses. She drank him in. No one is fooled by you, Spike, least of all me.  
  
Spike had had enough of people trying to decipher him. It was as if he was under a bloody microscope. I'm done for tonight, pet. Run along; I'll find you later.  
  
How can you be so sure? She took her bottom lip between her teeth and grinned.  
  
You want me to find you. You like the dance as much as I do.  
  
It's the vampire in me I suppose. Or maybe I just like seeing you.  
  
Can't imagine why, when you know I'll win in the end.  
  
Till then. She quickly took hold of him and smashed her lips to his. They were soft, firm and so cool.  
  
Spike knew her intentions and gently pressed back into her warmth. Their lips tangled with each other for only a moment before Spike pulled back. He leaned against the pub wall and fished out his cigarette. He put one in his mouth, letting it dangle from his full mouth. Till next time then.  
  
Leila laughed, the eerie music broke through the otherwise quiet night. Without saying a word, she turned and vanished into the black.  
  
Spike slowly lit his smoke and waited. It wouldn't be long now.  
  
  
_  
*If you can't make your mind up  
We'll never get started*  
_  
  
  
One......Two.....Three......  
  
What do you think you are doing?  
  
Spike looked up at the brassed off Slayer. Waiting for you to come over here.  
  
Buffy ripped the offensive white object out of Spike's mouth. She smashed her shoe on it. You said you weren't interested in her.  
  
Spike pulled out another cigarette. I'm not.  
  
Buffy took that away as well, grinding the unlit cylinder beyond recognition. You kissed her!  
  
Damn it, Slayer! These do cost money you know. And besides, she was kissing me. If you're gonna spy at least get it right.  
  
You didn't push her away, Buffy countered.  
  
Spike just gave a chuckle and walked towards the flat, Buffy hot on his heels.  
  
So, I let her kiss me. It will help us.  
  
How is having your tongue rammed down her throat helpful? She's just going to go nuts when she realizes what you are doing.  
  
Spike groaned. Why was she being so thick? Like we hoped, Leila still fancies me. She kissed me once, now she can't wait to do it again.  
  
You think that well of yourself?  
  
Yes, I do, his answer clipped. I also know Leila. She's impatient.  
  
They walked home, silence crept over them for only a few blocks before Buffy grumbled.  
  
I don't like this.  
  
You've made that abundantly clear, Slayer.  
  
And yet you don't listen.  
  
Spike cocked his head to the side and stared at her. What are you afraid of?  
  
I'm afraid you are going to screw this up and have only a few lip locks to show for it! Buffy's chest heaved with her ragged breath and her eyes shone with intensity.  
  
Are you jealous?  
  
The Slayer scoffed at that. Why would I be jealous of you making smoochies with some child?  
  
You tell me. He shoved his hands into his jeans pockets as he waited for an answer.  
  
I'm not jealous. It just bothers me. Is this how you get your kicks now? Seducing unsuspecting psychopaths, trying to relive Druscilla?  
  
Spike stopped dead. He couldn't bare to look at Buffy, afraid he would smack her. He trained his gaze into the ever present gauze surrounding them. Count, Spike, he told himself. One blow to her face. Two kicks to the gut. Three roundhouse kicks, knocking her to the ground.....and endless kisses to make up for the damage. Bloody hell, I'm such a soddin' poof! God damn it!  
  
If memory serves me, Slayer, he began, finally settling his stone cold gaze on her, I turned down Dru years ago. Tried to kill her, for you actually.  
  
Not the most enticing gift I've ever received from a man, she said, deadpan.  
  
Spike stepped away from her. Never had to give you material gifts to entice you.  
  
Buffy's hand swung at his face, but he deftly caught it millimeters from his nose. Buffy watched awestruck as Spike took her hand to his lips. He gently placed light kisses on each of her knuckles, lingering above every one before moving on to the next one. His eyes stayed with her, daring her to react.  
  
  
_  
*And I don't want to wind up  
Being parted, broken hearted*_  
  
  
  
Is it always about sex with you? she asked. It was meant as an insult, but it her breathy voice did little to offend.  
  
Spike laughed to the skies and released her hand. I'm not some cheap nymphomaniac, Buffy, contrary to popular belief. But, I haven't been celibate for the past five years, neither have you I might add. For Christ's sake, Buffy, you were engaged to be married. Married! You don't see me hassling you about that, do you?  
  
I've been waiting for you to bring him up.  
  
I'm not. Spike started up the street once more, the house was in sight now. Soon, he'd be inside and away from her. She was upset and confused. Buffy loathed confusion. But, as long as she was going to revert to her defense mechanism, which was insulting him, he didn't want to be around her. She needed to get over herself and trust in him. There's nothing more I want to know.  
  
Buffy jogged to catch up to him. You've got to be kidding me. I know you want to know what happened.  
  
No, I don't, he replied, flatly. I know all I need to know.  
  
You know nothing. Buffy's voice coated with acid as she said the words. He had no idea what she went through.  
  
I know you didn't marry him. She had no comeback for that. The simple sentence spoke volumes.  
  
Don't you want to know why? she whispered.  
  
Spike had an answer, but he didn't voice it. Of course he wanted to know! He always wanted to know what happened to prevent the culmination of Buffy Summer's perfect family dream. Bit didn't know and he didn't push, much. Dawn apparently pushed more though. All Spike knew was she ended it, or he ended it; it was ended. Spike was curious what he was like. He wouldn't like him, that was a given. Dawn seemed to tolerate him well enough. When asked if he was good enough for her, Dawn replied, I'm a little biased. Did she love him? She says she does. Is she smiling? Yes, she's smiling. That satisfied him. Until one day, she wasn't smiling and the engagement was off. Spike never felt such a cocktail of sadness, relief and guilt over that relief.  
  
What a silly question! Yes, he wanted to know every detail, but he didn't tell her that.  
  
What if I wanted to tell you? Buffy ventured after more deafening silence. Would you listen?  
  
I always listen, Buffy.  
  
She nodded, her anger disappeared and she now seemed, dare he think it, embarrassed. She didn't look directly at him and her voice was low and shaky. Good to know.  
  
They stood toe to toe outside the house. Spike felt like a schoolboy dropping off his girl at the door, waiting for a sign she wanted to see him again. A smile, a kiss on the cheek, kiss on the lips, or a slow back step as she made her way up the stoop, never taking her eyes off of him until she had to turn and go greet her parents. As a human, William never had luck with courtships, even as a young and foolish child. As a result, he began to fidget, his booted foot repeatedly tapping the stairs.  
  
Buffy watched his display with earnest. He looked adorable, trying to figure out what to do next. His honest face showed her all the uncertainty he felt and she was sure hers did the same. They eventually locked eyes. Buffy nibbled on the side of her mouth. Spike's mouth hung openly slightly, his tongue making an appearance ever few seconds to rewet his drying lips.  
  
  
_  
*So if you really love me, say yes  
But if you don't, dear, confess  
And please don't tell me  
Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps*  
_  
  
  
The tension was getting unbearable and both had decided it needed to end someway. They slowly leaned into each other, their lips getting closer and closer-  
  
There you two are!  
  
Blue and green eyes widened and turned to the door. They had been caught...by the father.  
  
  
  
  
Okay, that was Chapter 11. Chapter 12 is a three parter WooHoo! And will be installed indiviually. Reviews, though, always make me want to post faster and faster!  



	13. The Tempest Part One

A/N Hey all!  Here's Part one of Chapter 12, the other parts are all finished and will be up soon.  But, I could always use some convincing….*hint hint*  Enjoy and

Till Next Time:)

Chapter 12: The Tempest (Part One)  
  
So, she wasn't ready to fully open up yet. That was typical Buffy. Complain he wasn't being honest while she willfully misled him.   
Those truths ran through Spike's mind as he lay in the middle of his large empty bed. The raindrops provided gentle incidental music to his brooding montage. It was only a matter of time before the music intensified, building up to its climax. Her words, taunting syllables, one by one punched into his brain, disturbingly felt like butterfly kisses, full of mixed messages.  
One thing Buffy gave him was infinity. Nothing was ever finale with her. Whether she was aware of it or not, the Slayer always left herself an out. In many cases, Spike admired that; he recognized it as a warrior's careful strategy. But, when it came to the game of love, Spike liked it risky, no ways out. It forced him to put his entire being into its success. Mum would be proud of him. More proud of him than he was of himself. He recalled their arguments but most reverently, he recalled their kiss in the library. It was so soft, virginal even. He tossed and turned in his sheets, visions of her sweet face plaguing him. Then outside the pub. One minute they were fighting again and the next...he was going to kiss her...or she was going to kiss him. He knew it; he saw the decision in her Heavenly orbs. There was only one answer, one way he was going to get sleep, he had to see her, finished what they started on the stoop.  
He stood in the hall, the minutes ticking by, with his hands braced against the frame, his forehead against the door. His body took several harsh breaths, each one cutting through his marble chest. Nerves. That feeling would not rest; it clawed through him. The unneeded air he insisted on breathing stabbed his icy insides. The pain only abated as Spike concentrated on the soft noises on the other side of the wooden barrier. Her breathing was even and slow. She sounded peaceful, no trace of a nightmare present. All thoughts of disturbing her rest vanished. Spike turned around and slumped to the floor, his head still against the door. He closed his eyes and let her peace wash over him. If he couldn't produce his own, he could at least feed off of hers. That image was disturbing.  
"Now, I'm a letch and a leech."  
But, he couldn't bare to move, it felt too good, almost as good as being inside her. There he was content, undiluted bliss. This was a different kind of contentment, separate from the physical. He felt caressed, feather light fingers touching everywhere all at once, like his soul was dancing along ever fiber of his being. Similar to that connection back in Buenos Aires, back in his bedroom, the one that burned him.  
"What the hell is this?" he wondered, his fingers roaming aimlessly around his body. If he didn't know better, he'd swear his heart was about to jump-start to life.  
Leaping from the floor, he ran into his room. The first thing he did was look for his cigarettes. He was scared and needed the calming affects of nicotine. He grabbed the desired items from his bedside table and lit up. Once he inhaled, his nerves immediately relaxed. "Jesus Christ, Will, get a soddin' grip on yourself." He quickly sucked down his cigarette and popped another one from its pack. "You didn't even touch her and you're going crazy."  
The foreign feeling was fading away and he was glad for it. However, soon the deep seeded desire to hit something poured forth. Spike fought it back, banging the violent thoughts into submission. "I'm losing it, really losing it."  
  
  
The darkness was cool, as cool as the thick grass beneath her feet. Where was she? She was back in the vast land again, but it wasn't as bare as before. There were some kind of ruins, haphazard placement of well worn stones littered across the hill.   
She heard nothing, save the pounding of her heart. It was hers, wasn't it? Yes, it was.  
Her mind reached out into the black and felt them, two vampires, two very strong vampires. A crack of lightning broke the sky and the heavens began to weep. The rain drenched her in seconds, plastering her hair to her face, making her clothes weigh down her movements.  
Then she heard them. Along with her heart and the drops of rain, two breaths, separate and labored. Thunder deafened her ears and bolts illuminated her eyes. She gazed up at the cloudy sky. A faint blue flicker danced above her head, as brief as a firefly. It was joined by several more. And more. And more. And more until the once black sky shined indigo. This blue electricity crackled. She felt the power enveloping her, the potent strength that gave everything around her a quicker pulse.  
She didn't feel the ice fingers on her shoulder until she was whipped around. As vibrant as dusk, purple eyes stared into her, shaky deep violet orbs slowly allowing blood tainted tears to stain perfect ivory cheeks. She'd never seen such pain concentrated in one pair of eyes. Full of things never voiced, unwanted memories. But, what was she crying for, for whom? Was she crying for her, was something going to happen to her? Or was she crying for herself? Were those tears of remorse or guilt?  
Buffy reached out and touched the reddened cheeks, the eyes close at the peaceful touch. Silence, dulcid silence swept them into the wonders of this night.  
A scream ripped them apart.  
She looked to the ruins and there was the other vampire, standing on a high platform, a make shift altar. His arms opened to the sky, inviting an unknown guest into him.  
Bile rose in her throat, a feeling of complete vacancy, infinite emptiness struck her hard in the chest. She tried to move toward the impending danger. She needed to stop him, he couldn't stay there or all was lost, she knew it with every part of her. She tried yelling, but she had no voice. She tried to move, but something held her tightly, unrelenting. Her heart quickened and tears rushed down her cheeks, falling off her chin as she prepared to be a witness.  
The blue electricity shined brightly around the vampire. He stood still, waiting for his moment. He screamed once more. A bolt of lightning shot through the vampire's heart. Everything became white as another one hit.  
  
_Crack!  
  
_"No!" she cried out.  
  
Buffy shot up in bed, panting, her scream still echoing in her ears. Did she make a sound?  
  
_Crack!  
  
_She jumped at the thunder. Buffy looked out her window. A fierce storm raged outside over the townhouse. She ran from her bed and out the door. Without thought, she ran to Spike's room.  
  
The door flew open and Buffy's eyes searched the bedroom. She saw his silhouette by the large bay window, a faint orange glow lit up his face,  
"Buffy?" he asked. He could see her shivering and breathing heavily. "Buffy love, is everything alright?" He stubbed out his cigarette as Buffy came to him, her hand hovering over her chest.  
She fixed her gaze on him and parted his unbuttoned white silk shirt. Whole. Her fingertips pressed into his skin, testing it. They glided across his pecs, over his heart, everything was just how she remembered it.  
"You're okay," she whispered. She rested her forehead against him, trying hard to swallow back her wave of nausea.  
"Was I not supposed to be?" Spike placed a hand on her back. He felt her shivers and the tension rippled through her muscles. He drew circles over them, willing them to release.  
Buffy sank into Spike's arms, tears of relief ran freely from her already burning eyes.  
"Love, what happened?" She couldn't bring herself to stop her sobs. "It's alright, pet, I'm fine. Look at me, Buffy." She responded by pulling him tighter against her, her hands clutching at his shirt. Spike managed to lift her chin up to him. His thumb caught her salty tears as it caressed her face. Slowly, her sobs ceased and her tears remained in her glassy eyes.  
"Talk to me," he pleaded.  
She nodded her head, she was ready to speak now. "I.. I had a dream and... I can't remember everything just yet, but..." She breathed deeply as another sob came out. "There was a storm and we were....somewhere, I don't know, but you were standing out on altar. I couldn't get to you. I tried, Spike, I really tried." Buffy kept sniffing back a new batch of tears as she felt the sadly familiar feeling of failure.   
"Shush, pet. I'm sure you did. What happened next?" Spike resumed his soothing motions on her back.  
"Lightning. A bolt of lightning tore through you. It seemed so real." Buffy's gaze was again fixed on his fully intact form. Satisfied that it would remain so, she wrapped her arms around his waist.  
"No worries, love. I'm electricity free."  
"But, Spike, it was a Slayer dream."  
"Very well then, I'll stay inside during thunderstorms."  
She pushed Spike away from her. "Don't make fun of me, Spike."  
"Not making fun, just trying to fix the situation."  
Buffy stared out at the storm, her back to the vampire. Didn't he get it? Didn't he see? This has happened before. Her dreams always came true in some interpretation or another. They manifest. She was going to lose him before she even had him and he seemed to think he could kiss it and make it better. "You can't fix this, Spike. It will happen." She felt him move behind her, his coolness ever so close.  
"Did I die...again?" he wondered.  
She shook her head. "I woke up too soon." Or too late.  
"I don't know what to tell you."  
"You don't have to say anything." She leaned back against him, following her instincts, which screamed to be with him while she could.  
Spike placed his hands on her shoulders and slowly, gently massaged them. He really was at a loss for what to do next. Only a moment ago, he was outside Buffy's room and all seemed well. Now, she was so distraught. She knew her dreams better than he, but he wasn't concerned over his possible demise. He was only concerned with her. The Watcher needed to hear about this first thing in the morning. Until then, Buffy needed to find a way into peaceful sleep.  
"Try to think of something else, love."  
Buffy sighed as Spike's hand snaked around her tiny waist and she rested her head on his shoulder. "I met Jack two and a half years ago."


	14. The Tempest Part Two

Disclaimer: Well, I don't like to kiss and tell.....Let's just say, some promises were made amongst in the heat of the moment and then a certain platinum blonde said he would work on getting me the rights to everything BtVS from one Joss Whedon. And I would have gotten them to, if it wasn't for those meddling kids and their Watcher!!!  
  
A/N: Thanks for the reviews all. Yes, it's explanation time, but how far will it get our dear friends? Like I'm going to tell you that :) And then, of course, we have our bad guys to contend with. Let me know what you think, okay? One more after this and then it's on to Chapter 13!   
Enjoy!  
  
  
  
Chapter 12: The Tempest (Part Two)  
  
  
  
He's as sexy as ever, she thought as she walked home.  
  
The heavy rain saturated her, but Leila kept smiling all the while. She loved the rain. She liked the lightning she sensed coming even more. Her hackles were up; it was going to be quite the storm.   
  
Excitement shot through her nerves. Anticipation was getting the better of her. Her meeting with Spike left her unsatisfied, but she knew someone else who would help her. She needed to get home soon so she could take care of her pleasantly painful ache. The rain and her enticing thoughts were not helping. Cold wet rain against her skin. She sucked the droplets from her full lips. So clean, so cool, so wet. Leila quickened her pace. Visions of lying naked outside of the house on the soaked grass were dancing in her mind.  
  
Maybe he'd like join me, she pondered. He better be there when I get home. Another wave of desire swelled in the pit of her stomach and ran lower still. Her vampiric speed kicked into high gear. How much fun would it be, the two of them, semi sated from round after round of love making, laying side by side watching the light show, feeling the thunder rumble through their bodies, letting the rain coat every inch of their fully exposed skin. Repetitious tapping of raindrops, sliding down her breasts, the coolness keeping her nipples painfully erect, gliding over her taut stomach, resting in her dark curls, mingling with her ever present heat, never cooling down, always hot. He would roll on top of her and pound her into the wet grass, the slight scratching of the blades only making her beg for more. Maybe the lightning would touch down too, set a fire to mar the night.  
  
Oh, what a storm!  
  
  
  
Spike held Buffy as she told her story. She started to relax as he timed his breathing with hers. Sure, he didn't need to breathe, but he loved the feeling of this unity, sharing in her calm.  
  
  
He listened about Jackson, or Jack, about their first meeting, their first date. It was all very normal, average even. Buffy told him about being a Slayer. He fully accepted it, praised her for it even. They got engaged, everything was perfect. Spike was glad things went well for Jackson and Buffy. So, what went wrong? Buffy's sudden silence stirred him.  
  
She didn't respond. Love, you okay? He felt her nod against him, her breath still even with his.  
  
I'm fine, she sighed. She relished the rise and fall of his chest against her. She didn't know why she decided to tell Spike everything now. Maybe it was her nightmare that made her open up. Maybe it was him; she wanted to tell him about an important time in her life, one that he missed.  
  
I was trying on wedding gowns when it first hit me. I tried on gown after gown after gown. Willow was so exhausted and all she did was watch. Meanwhile, ever time I looked in the mirror, I didn't feel anything. As tired as she was, my best friend was having more fun than I was. I was the bride-to-be and I felt as if I were going to a funeral.   
  
That wasn't supposed to happen. I told myself it was nerves and left it at that. But, on the umpteenth day and the ten thousandth gown, I took notice. Well, I took notice of this cute guy and his sister as they picked up her dress. He checked me out, I checked him out, chatted for moment and then he was gone. I went back to the dressing room and cried.  
  
  
  
~*~*~  
  
  
  
Buffy? Buffy, are you alright in there? Willow poked her head into the large dressing room and saw her friend with red swollen eyes sitting in a pool of satin and lace. Oh God, Buffy, what's wrong?  
  
I- I'm not happy? she managed to say.  
  
Willow joined her on the floor. Buffy, talk to me. Why aren't you happy? Willow asked. You look lovely in the dress. Then again, you looked lovely in all the dresses.  
  
It's not the dresses. Buffy violently rubbed her eyes and cheeks in a desperate attempt to stop the tears. All she got was a crimson face. The dress is fine.  
  
Willow frowned. Those aren't joyful tears you're spilling, Buff. Buffy shook her head vehemently. So, tell me so I can help you.  
  
Buffy eyed her companion as she gathered the courage to voice her next statement. I don't think I want to get married anymore.  
  
  
  
~*~*~  
  
  
  
And I didn't. I told to Willow about that guy before, telling her I was attracted to him and wondering if I missing out on someone else by getting married. And one flirty man turned into a few, the daydreams grew and you know how I feel about faithfulness. I'd rather leave it all than cheat on him, on anyone. It wasn't any guy in particular, it was what they represented, very handsome and their smiles made my heart flutter. Jack didn't do that anymore. It wasn't his fault; I didn't think he had any idea what I was feeling. Turned out he was feeling the same way.  
  
We sat and talked and he agreed with me. He wasn't excited about the marriage either. It seemed like we were already like an old couple; marriage was just a formality.  
  
So, the split was amicable then?  
  
Buffy nodded. No big drama or lies or bloodshed. It was too normal.  
  
Spike laughed at that. I remember when you craved normalcy.  
  
Buffy squeezed Spike's arms and he tightened his hold. The smell of fear completely evaporated from around her. Spike smelled vanilla and powder and a faint scent of rain from an open window.  
  
Normalcy is overrated, Buffy surmised. Jack was great and all, but I wasn't burning for him anymore. I loved him, I really did. He wasn't like Reily. Spike stiffened slightly at the mention of that jackass. I didn't love him. I loved Jack, almost immediately I loved him. But, I didn't want him as much anymore. Sex was just a means to a lack luster end.  
  
Ouch, pet, Spike winced for the stranger's manhood.  
  
She just smiled. Well, at least my bad thoughts were reciprocated. And everything turned out for the best.  
  
I'm glad for it.  
  
They stood with each other watching the beautiful storm outside. Leaves whipped through the wind while the rain rapped on the glass. Buffy turned in Spike's embrace to face him. She couldn't make out his features well except for when the lightning flashed, casting a white blue coat over him. He was handsome, so perfectly handsome. His chiseled features looked as if some godly creature spent countless hours sculpting this flawless face. Buffy found herself wondering what William's parents looked like. They must have been striking to have such a son.  
  
Why am I not scared anymore? she asked, mostly to herself.  
  
Of what, love?  
  
Buffy looked down at her body so intimate with his and she wanted to be closer still. Of this.  
  
  
  
  
  
Leila burst into his study in the home they shared together. He sat behind his large desk, as per usual, books and papers were meticulously placed in front of him. Much to her delight, the patio doors were propped open, letting in the music of the rain.  
  
What is it with that vampire? he asked, not looking at his consort.   
  
How did you know? Leila asked, slinking around the desk.  
  
You aren't the only one with connections, my dear. He dropped the book he was reading and looked at her. But, do enlighten me. What is it about that vampire?  
  
He's legendary, she answered as she took a seat on his lap.  
  
Very soon we will be as well. Will you then cease this childhood fascination with William the Bloody?  
  
Leila wiggled in his lap, drawing her knees up to his chest. She cradled herself into his embrace and let one of her fingers play with the buttons on his shirt. She didn't undo them, she'd rip it off of him later. She loved ripping noises! You're jealous, she purred as she nuzzled his neck.  
  
I am not jealous. I am irritated is all. I am a man of logic. If you are mine, as you claim to be, it is logical to me that there should be no other. Is that not sound?   
  
Throughout his speech, Leila continued to nuzzle and nip his neck and ear. His voice was steady, but Leila felt his arousal almost as soon as she sat down. She did care for this man. His methodical mind be damned, he was as passionate as she, even more in some instances, when properly motivated. Like you said, lover, it's a fascination. I am yours. Besides, you are smart. Smart, stunning, sexy and warm. Her hand made its way into his shirt, stroking his chest, teasing the few fine dark hairs she found. Is there anything you've ever done that was not calculated or logical? She stopped her hand and looked into his dark eyes.  
  
His fingers traced down her cheeks and over her lips. She closed her mouth over the digit, tasting him. He pulled it out and continued his trails down her throat to her chest. My passion for you could never have been foreseen, love.  
  
So, maybe it isn't made to make sense. She sharply inhaled as he ran his tips along the swell of her breast, down the side and flicked her nipple through her shirt.  
  
Matters of the heart rarely do. Matters of intellect, however, shall always be thoroughly sussed out. His gaze was fixed on her breasts. They were beautiful as he had seen many times, but he never ceased to be intrigued by this wonderful creature before him and how she responded to him. He loved to hear her ragged breath as he continued his caresses which were getting firmer.  
  
Just so you can rest your...handsome head, she began, her voice breathy as she leaned into his touch, with Spike, it's always cerebral, the mental mindfuck; he's very good at convincing people. She moaned her displeasure as he removed his hand.  
  
Are you going to continue your inquiries? he asked, coldly.  
  
With Spike? Of course. This is his game and for once I think I know how to play along.   
  
Never forget he is using you, he said before her captured her lips with his own.  
  
Leila broke the kiss. Everyone is using me. One would think I'd be upset by it, but I'm not.  
  
And why is that? He pulled her to him.  
  
If I was in any of your shoes, I'd do the same thing.  
  
He nodded his head at her logic. He liked it when she said smart things, it turned him on. And now, it was getting difficult to stay seated. Shall we to bed then?  
  
Leila let a seductive smile spread across her face. She sat up and swung her legs around, one on each side of the chair. We could always stay here, she suggested, rubbing against him.  
  
Leila, love, think of the mess we would make and what about my books, my papers and my glassware?  
  
She grasped his lapels and tore his shirt open, reveling in the rip. Ahhh. Hasn't anyone told you that breaking noises can be an aphrodisiac? He just looked her incredulously. I'll help you clean up afterwards, she offered.  
  
Without warning, he scooped her up and threw her to the floor. This is going to be fun! Leila thought as he quickly divested her of her clothes and ravaged her mouth.   
  
She heard him groan loudly as she bucked her hips beneath him. He removed his mouth from hers and trailed kisses down her neck, down the valley between her breasts. She held him close as his tongue circled one of her aching rosy nipples.  
  
Outside she heard the thunder and lightning rage on. A little sex inside, even more out in the rain. She could barely contain her anticipation. She ran her fingers through his soft dark hair and gasped as his teeth nipped at her skin. She needed more of them. Her panting urged him onward. Hard nips and grazes followed by the softness of his tongue. She loved that and he knew it. He was very aware what made her moan and what made her scream his name.   
  
He stopped his attentions only briefly to remove his torn shirt and oh so tight pants. At the sight of his erection, Leila knew he would be up or anything whether it was a bubble bath or mind and body numbing sex in the storm. She just didn't want to be able to walk in the morning. Just waste the wee hours of the morning with him asleep inside of her, never leaving her with that wretched vacant feeling when he pulled away. The afternoon would be spent with her on top of him until she collapsed and the evening...well, that was work, but after work, they could start all over again.   
  
So much fun!  



	15. The Tempest Part Three

Disclaimer: Same as always, lovies, don't own anything except my own characters. Although, I must confess, if Spike keeps wearing his hair all long and curly and mussy like it was last week, I might be up for some grand theft!!!  
  
A/N: This is the last part of the chapter. I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know, guys! Thanks for your reviews, I love hearing from you.  
Enjoy!  
  
  
  
Chapter 12: The Tempest(Part Three)  
  
  
Spike repeated.  
  
Buffy's heart accelerated slightly as she sought his gaze. Forever blue. It could not be anything else. Not brown, green, gray, black or violet or hazel. Only blue. He spoiled her for any other color. No rainbow, no box of one hundred shades matched the brilliancy in his blue eyes because no flat color held his spark. The golden glint of his demon combined with William's inner light. It was impossible to completely describe those orbs, but once she experienced them in all their intensity, she never forgot them. They haunted her dreams, roused her from a peaceful sleep and guided her way into him. Whoever said windows were the eyes to the soul was not wrong. Wait! He didn't have a soul. He didn't even have a chip; soulless and chipless. But, if she was not seeing his soul, what was she looking at?  
  
Her fingers traced over his eyebrows, tracing his scar and down his cheekbones. Show me, she said.  
  
Spike was taken aback, but he knew what Buffy wanted to see. He was a changed vampire, a new man, a better man. He was not ashamed of himself or his demon. They had an understanding finally and existed as one, so he complied with her request.   
  
He shifted into his demonic visage. Buffy placed her hand over face, covering everything below his eyes. Fascinating. She just stared into them, into him, a grin tugging at the corners of her mouth.  
  
Spike allowed the exploration, not sure what she was searching for, but allowed her penetrating gazes all the same. He took her smile as a good sign. She was trying to hide it, but he saw the smile. It filled him with warmth and a twinge of trepidation. Buffy must have sensed it because she then removed her hand.  
  
she simply said. He blinked his feral eyes as Buffy brushed her fingertips along them. They're still blue. She waited for her observation to sink into his mind. It wasn't as quickly as she hoped, so she leaned forward. I found you. His mask fell away and Buffy stared into his eyes, so full of wonder.  
  
Her breath tickled his chin as she brushed her lips across his jaw line. He inhaled sharply as she stopped before his mouth, her eyes looking straight into his. He studied the woman, trying desperately to remember his promise to himself. He bit back the words that threatened to pour forth. But, he couldn't continue to stand there, not with her looking the way she did, her breath heightened with anticipation.  
  
Spike bent down and captured her lips. It had been so long since they had last kissed, Spike wanted to know it all again. She tasted the same, he would never forget it, his ambrosia, the sweetest nectar. He considered backing off slightly; he didn't want to scare her off, but as soon as he touched the silken skin of her lips, he couldn't help himself. When she let him inside, he swore he might purr, he was so happy.   
  
Buffy immediately responded to his touch, moaning as his tongue ran over her bottom lip. She smiled against him and allowed him access into the depths of her mouth. His cool tongue began its exploration of her teeth, the roof of her mouth and finally engaging her own tongue in a slow sensual dance.   
  
There was no urgency or desperation in their kiss. It was passionate, yes, but they weren't in a rush to get reacquainted. Buffy's hands made their way to the sides of Spike's face as she wanted further her own access to his mouth. She felt all tension leave her muscles as Spike's ams pulled her flush against him. She wanted this, she wanted him, she burned for him.  
  
Spike broke the kiss, knowing Buffy needed to breathe a some point. They were both panting and staring at each other with glazed eyes. They remained in each other's arms neither feeling the need to be anywhere else.  
  
Spike once more felt the urge to confess his undying love. Say anything, he ordered himself. Say anything else.  
  
But, Buffy beat him to the punch. We seem to keep ending up here lately, she whispered with a half smile on her face. She took in her thoroughly kissed bottom lip, a sign of her nervousness. Why was she nervous? Maybe it was the way he was looking at her, like he wasn't sure what to do next.  
  
That we do, love, Spike agreed.  
  
What do you suggest we do about this? Her voice was devoid of innuendo, just a plain, innocent question. The sound of which, made the answer doubly clear.  
  
I think...maybe...you should try to get some sleep, love.  
  
Buffy nodded her head. She was glad he said that. She wanted him right then and there, would have complied if he swept her up and taken her to his bed. Her body was calling out to him, for his kiss, his touch on every inch of her skin, his body molded to hers, filling her completely. But, she knew, and Spike obviously did too, that now was not the time. They couldn't just jump back into each other's beds again no matter how much they desired it. That was a problem last time. Neither could bare repeating those mistakes. Even with this logic in place, she was still glad he said it and not her. She wasn't sure if she could have said anything at all.  
  
Buffy shuddered all over and her eyes returned to their glassy state. She still felt the thunder and the rain wreaking havoc on her body. The thunder cracked again, louder than before. The storm was still directly overhead. Buffy jumped further in Spike's embrace at the noise.  
  
She was still shaking when she tried to speak. Spike, I... She didn't want to say it, didn't want to ask especially considering their precarious relationship. It's just... she tried again.  
  
He knew and just nodded. Climb on in, Buffy.  
  
She smiled shyly and turned to Spike's canopy bed. This was the first time she took in his room. Very... non Spike. The room had style and class, something the crypt lacked. Then again, it must have been hard to make a crypt classy. This room was a breeze. But, the bed was her only real concern was the bed.  
  
It looked large and fluffy, laden with pillows. A soft, gauzy canopy draped over the deep mahogany and billowed in the breeze. Buffy got goose bumps as the wind drifted in from the slightly ajar window.  
  
Do you want me to close it? Spike asked, already on his way to do just that.  
  
she halted him. I like the sound.  
  
Me too.  
  
Buffy continued her perusal of the wondrous piece of furniture before her. The sight beckoned her. In the tired daze that weighed her down, she believed it to be an illusion, a dream bed oasis. She crawled up the mattress, her hands and knees sunk into the softness beneath. It was real, the Maharaja of beds if ever there was one. And what laid beneath was a delicious treasure, crimson satin sheets. She ran her tips along the fabric. She flushed all over at the thought of these sheets full encompassing her hot, sweaty naked form.  
  
Does it meet your approval? Spike inquired as he moved to the foot of the bed, one hand wrapped around the bedpost. He contained his purely male primal urges as he watched her display. Crawling up his bed on all fours, her back side swaying ever so slightly in her pajama pants, shoulder blades rocking up and down through her white tank top. The sensual caress she gave _his _sheets, like she wanted to wallow in them. He desperately swallowed the impulse to flip Buffy onto her back and make love to her in those sheets until their shiny finish faded from use. Did she even know how crazy she made him? Of course she did, she was a female, this was what they did, especially this particular female.  
  
Buffy looked at the vampire who questioned her, slightly embarrassed at her reaction to his sleeping quarters. More than meets it. Without further words, she gingerly slid into the bed. She rolled onto her side, eyes fixed outside on the rain.  
  
Spike just watched her tiny form fit itself into the mattress. Always a perfect fit. It was too surreal having her in his room, in his bed. He should have been jumping for joy. But, his feet were planted firmly on the ground, his conscience fully engaged, regretfully. And all he could do was watch her breathe.  
  
  
  
  
Did you take care of our leprechaun issue? the man asked the woman currently snugged to his chest.  
  
Leila licked droplets of rain from his skin. It's being dealt with, she purred.  
  
  
  
  
The windows were broken and the furniture was smashed. Everything was in shambles. The ceiling caved in, heavy beams scattered on the floor. Destruction was everywhere, blatant destruction. Artifacts thrown to the ground, their shards a mosaic among the splinters and dust. Book shelves and hutches toppled over. And beneath the debris, a tiny hand struggled to lift his tattered and torn body. Oxygen was harder to gasp. The pains in his chest were so intense he couldn't move anymore.  
  
  
  
  
Spike saw Buffy toss and turn, her beautiful face contorted in pain. Should he wake her? Or was it better to finish a Slayer dream if it was indeed what she was having?  
  
No, no, no, she mumbled over and over. Small beads of sweat dotted her forehead. she called out still in sleep.  
  
He was by her side in an instant. Climbing behind her, he whispered to her. No worries, love. I'm right here. His hand ran up and down her arm as he spooned against her, willing her breathing to even out. Slowly it did; the nightmare seemed to pass. Don't worry, pet. Nothing's going to happen to you, I promise. And nothing's going to happen to me either. You're stuck with me, he chuckled. More soberly he added, for awhile atleast.  
  
The storm subsided and Spike felt the need to sleep. He wrapped his arms protectively around Buffy's waist and placed a kiss on the top of her head. He continued to hold her close and kiss her lightly on her head and along her shoulders. Nothing was going to harm her tonight.  
  



	16. By My Side

Disclaimer: No stealing here, my pockets aren't big enough.  
  
A/N: Hey all! Here comes Chapter 13 and the storm has passed. Enjoy the next chapter and PLEASE REVIEW either here or e-mail me at Babylon614@aol.com. I welcome the e-mails. And if you want to be notified of updates, just let me know that as well.  
Okay, that's it from me. Enjoy! Till Next Time, this is the Tranio of Pine :)  
  
  
  
Chapter 13: By My Side  
  
  
_  
Knock Knock  
  
_  
Spike groaned at the offensive sound.  
  
_  
Knock Knock  
  
  
_Spike grumbled softly and opened his eyes. Buffy was safely tucked beside him fast asleep, a small smile on her lips. He looked out the window and say a small stream of light, must still be early. He slowly and begrudgingly moved off the bed, careful not to wake Buffy. As it was, the incessant knocking on his door would do that.  
  
Bloody hell. He stumbled to the door. Someone better be good and dead, he threatened as he opened the door.  
  
On the other side was Giles and Colin, both with concerned looks on their faces. Spike leaned against the door jam and waited for the men to speak. Colin was the first to do so.  
  
Would you be so kind as to put on a shirt, Mr. Spike? he asked, disdain for such a display evident in his voice.  
  
Look you wanker, you woke me up so, either talk or I'm going back to bed, he snarled.  
  
Giles halted the vampire. It's about Buffy.  
  
What about her? Spike didn't like where this was going. He wasn't in the mood for one of Giles's lectures and he wasn't in the mood to be chastised in front the jackass Travers.  
  
She's missing, he said. We've looked all over the house for her. She seems to have slept in her bed last night, but there is no sign of her. Do you have any idea where she could be?  
  
Spike smirked. You've come to the right man. Yes, I know where she is. He opened the door a little more so Giles could see inside. There she was, snuggled in Spike's bed. In. Spike's. Bed.  
  
The Watcher turned his venomous eyes on the vampire.   
  
Hold it right there, Watcher. Whatever happened to you are both adults' and all that rot?  
  
Rot, that's exactly what you are! Colin exclaimed.  
  
Before Spike could comment, he heard Buffy moving. He turned back to her as mumbled his name. You want to keep your voice down? Spike asked Colin, mockingly. Use some common curtesy.  
  
Colin stepped towards the vampire, fire in his eyes. Giles stepped between the men. Spike would have roared with laughter if he wasn't concerned about waking Buffy.  
  
That's enough you two, Giles remonstrated.  
  
Back down, boy, unless you want to fight fists and fangs, Spike warned the young man. And relax, Rupert. Buffy just had a Slayer dream and it freaked her out.  
  
Why am I having trouble believing you?  
  
Most likely it's his half naked form, Colin quipped.  
  
What are you, a prig or something? Spike wanted to know.  
  
Not at all, I just don't parade myself around.  
  
You should, it's fun.  
  
Jesus, guys! Buffy groaned as she stepped next to Spike by the door. Can't a girl get some sleep around here? She rubbed the sleep from her eyes, not noticing the miffed off father figure.  
  
Maybe it would be easier in your own bed, Buffy, Giles suggested.  
  
Buffy blinked her eyes, briefly forgetting where she woke up. Realization hit her and she rolled her eyes at her Watcher. Come on, Giles, I'm twenty six years old. You look like you've caught me with my hand in the cookie jar. She and Spike shared a laugh at Buffy's joke.  
  
Perhaps I did. Giles decided to skip the lecture until they were alone and get down to the business at hand. I suggest you two get dressed and get downtown.  
  
What happened? Buffy wanted to know.  
  
Some shops were destroyed by O'Malley's.  
  
Is he alright? Spike asked, panic over his friend quickly setting in.  
  
The police hadn't found him by the time the Council moved in. They want us to finish the search, Spike. There's enough cloud cover for you to get there relatively safely. We'll go as soon as you're ready. With that Giles and Colin turned to go, leaving Buffy and Spike scrambling for their clothes.  
  
  
  
Did a bomb go off? Buffy muttered as she and the two men tripped through the rubble.  
  
Spike called out. No answer. Still no answer. This couldn't happen, not again. He couldn't lose another friend.   
  
Spike bent down and viciously threw pieces of debris in search of the leprechaun.  
  
Consumed by fury, he tore through the novelty shop, making an even greater mess. He didn't care; he needed to find O'Malley. He needed to see with his own eyes.  
  
Buffy and Giles stood back and allowed Spike a few moments to vent. Neither of them had any desire to get in the distraught vampire's way. But, a few moments turned into too many for Buffy. It broke her heart to see him this way. She knew how much he cared for O'Malley. She liked him too, very much. He was such a nice man, genuine. Damn it, Buffy, she scolded herself. Don't keep talking like he's dead. We don't know. Who could have done this though? The place was a mess. The perpetrator only wanted to wreak havoc, not steal. Poor O'Malley, probably didn't even see these sickos coming.  
  
Spike's anger was reaching its breaking point. Nothing! Not a blasted, fucking thing! Where was he?! He had to see. He had to find him, see what those pricks did to him so he could give it back ten fold! God damn it! he screamed after tossing the china hutch against the wall. Nothing there either. Where is he? Spike stood, his hands clasped behind his head tightly, his chest heaving. He clenched his jaw until it ached.  
  
whispered Buffy. She took a small step towards him, but he didn't notice. He ignored her repeated pleas for his attention. It wasn't till she touched his arm that he reacted.  
  
he growled, shaking her off.  
  
Spike, calm down, she begged, fear for the vampire evident in her darkened green eyes.  
  
Calm down? he snapped. How can I bloody calm down, Slayer? _You _calm the fuck down! His game face came forward. He rammed his boot clad foot into a pile of rubble. He kicked and kicked and grunted as he reduced the pile to powder.  
  
Buffy grabbed him from behind and held on for all she was worth. He tried to fight her off, squirm out of her iron clad grip. But, he gave in, his body slumped in defeat. He was not going to cry. He was not going to cry. He was _not _going to cry. He didn't let himself. Spike held onto his vampire face, his demon wanting nothing more than to tear into something or preferably someone. But, Buffy's soft words in his ear drew him out of his murderous haze. He let her hold him, bring him back. His closed his golden eyes and concentrated. Giles was behind him. Buffy was right by his side and...he couldn't feel Shamus, couldn't even smell him through the stench of gasoline and other flammable agents.   
  
Spike looked down at the tiny hands that clung to him and gently covered them with his own. He heard Buffy sniffing and the _squeak squeak _of Giles cleaning his lenses. Spike felt the need to speak, to break the painful silence. I'm sorry, Buffy, he apologized. He felt Buffy nodded against his back and mumbled, It's alright. He squeezed her hand as he said his next statement, his voice calm and assured. I am going to find out who did this. I am going to cut them and bleed them, pour salt into every wound. I am going to delight in hearing them scream themselves hoarse. And I am going to savor the sight of the fear in their eyes exploding as they take their last breath.  
  
Buffy stiffened slightly. She knew those words were said out of grief, but she never doubted the validity of them.  
  
Good Lord, Giles exclaimed.  
  
Spike and Buffy turned to see what was the matter. Giles's gaze was transfixed on an engraving in what used to be the counter top, His fingers hovered over it, shaking. What does this mean?  
  
The two joined the Watcher. The rumble in Spike's chest echoed as the vampire read the words, Hey, Sad Eyes.  
  
It was his fault, all his fault. Somehow she knew. She knew O'Malley was helping him. And now he's gone. He killed his friend and now he knew who his next would be.  
  
What does it mean, Spike? Buffy asked , her hands on his shoulder.  
  
I did this to him, led them straight to him.  
  
You didn't do anything, Spike. You couldn't have known.  
  
I _should _have known! Soddin' git, I should have realized what I was doing.  
  
Look at me, she demanded. He raised his eyes to her. They were still yellow and full of rage and pain. Buffy placed her hands on either side of his face so, he could not turn away. You didn't do this, Spike. Don't jump to any conclusions. We don't even know if he's really dead. He's a leprechaun after all.  
  
Half leprechaun. He can still die, Spike bit out.  
  
He's smart; don't underestimate him.  
  
Listen to the lass now, William.  
  
The group looked to find the source of the small raspy voice.   
  
A small panel of the wall opened up. Out stepped a bruised and bandaged Shamus O'Malley. He looked quite worse for wear, but he was whole. His sparkling eyes were swollen and red. He walked with a slight limp in his left leg. There were sure to be other cuts underneath his clothes, other aches that he didn't visibly acknowledge, but he just smiled at the Slayer, vampire and Watcher.  
  
Ye didn't do a thing to me. As I recall, you weren't even here.  
  
Spike slipped back into his human face and removed Buffy's hands from him. What happened here, mate? I thought-  
  
Thought I went to meet the good Lord himself? No, not yet, my friend. But, I think it's safe to say you've ruffled a few feathers.  
  
I'll take care of it, O'Malley I swear.  
  
I know you will. In the mean time though, could you offer a fella a place to sleep? Spike smiled, a true, happy smile.   
  
Come on then. Let's get back to the house, suggested Giles. He helped Shamus bypass some debris and went out to the car.  
  
Buffy waited for Spike, but he didn't move. Thinking he wanted to be alone, Buffy turned away. Spike's hand shot out and roughly pulled Buffy to him.  
  
We stick together on this, he said, his eyes piercing through her. On this whole thing, we stick together. No more going off without me. No more me going off without you. I want you by my side, got it?   
  
Buffy nodded. Spike was scared. Leila's boys came after O'Malley and almost killed him. He didn't want them to come after her, especially when his back was turned. He didn't want to lose her. Spike took Buffy by the hand and went after O'Malley and Giles.  
  
  
  
So, I managed to crawl away and get into the panel, used some mystics to patch meself up.  
  
Shamus just finished telling the group about his ordeal. They were all gathered in the living room of the townhouse, sipping their comfort beverages of tea, blood, diet soda and Guinness.   
  
Spike was much calmer seeing O'Malley safe and sound in his home. _  
_So, shall I pummel the bint and haul her in now or give it a few hours?  
  
Giles sighed. You know perfectly well you can not do that, Spike. We still need to discover the identity of her employer.  
  
Sod it all. We take care of her and there's no hope of her ever completing this integration.  
  
It's a prophecy, Buffy reminded him glumly. She's supposed be there; she's supposed to try. Spike looked at his Slayer, not enjoying her interpretation. He wanted to beat the shit out Leila, not let her go. It's like the dreams, Spike. It's going to happen; we just need to be prepared for it.  
  
Plus, with her gone, we have no leads on her master. This person is obviously quite knowledgeable. He must have some greater purpose for desiring this integration.  
  
Maybe he's in love. All the men turned to the lone woman in the room. she stammered, as she tried to process her thought, love makes you do the wacky, right? So, maybe he's in love with Leila and wants her to be happy? She stared at the men, none of them responding to her suggestion. Hearing the absurdity of it herself, Buffy said, Maybe he wants to take over the world. The men nodded in agreement.  
  
Why don't we look at the sheets again, Giles, and see if there are any clues we are missing in regards the Night of Ill Fated.  
  
If you are feeling up to it, certainly. Everything is upstairs in the loft. This evening I suggest Buffy and I patrol while Spike continues with Leila.  
  
You can't bloody expect me to that, Rupert. Spike glared at the man before him. Finness is out of the question. If I see that bitch again, I'll kill her.  
  
No, you won't, Giles warned the irate vampire. He stood up and ripped his glasses from his face. I thought you considered Leila to be a victim in this.  
  
She came after my friend. No one touches me and mine without paying the price. Spike was seething again.  
  
Buffy almost wished Giles would back off, but she knew he was right. They need to get at the big boss man or it may never be over.  
  
O'Malley interjected, I admire your loyalties, always have, but, my boy, you mustn't let them cloud your duties.  
  
You almost died, O'Malley. Spike's eyes were almost pleading to the man. What is it going to take, a twelve inch pine box before you listen to me?  
  
O'Malley chuckled whole-heartedly. Oh, my boy, use that head of yours. You are a smart man if not hot headed. To protect yourself and your own, snuff out the true evil. It isn't the lass. It is something much larger than her. She is merely a catalyst for things to come.  
  
Spike let his friend's advice sink in. He growled and slumped into the couch. Staring at the ceiling, he tried to rationalize the situation and not think so much like an animals. His insides screamed to protect the ones he cared about. The rest of him knew the truth. Evil was strong and passionate actions often became reckless ones. If there was to be hope of ending this tedious battle, to fight another fight, he need to remain clear headed, focused. Damn it! He sounded just like the Watcher. Giles warned him this would happen and he was right. How Spike hated to admit it!  
  
Fine, I'll be the Master of Suave, but I don't have to like it, he sulked.  
  
Wouldn't expect anything less, Giles mumbled, his patience waning. Take the night off, Spike. Get your emotions in check. The last thing we need is you shooting into the fray prematurely. Tomorrow you may start again. Giles and O'Malley went upstairs to the loft.   
  
Spike stood slowly, as if his mind weighed him down. He stalked off into the kitchen and pulled the refrigerator door open. He removed a packet of blood, dumped it into his mug and tossed it into the microwave.   
  
As he reached for a bottle of bourbon for his warmed drink, he became aware of two eyes intently watching him. he asked the inquisitive emeralds.  
  
Do you really want to do that? Buffy asked, nodding to the bottle in Spike's hand.  
  
Got a better idea? he snarled.  
  
Yeah, I have a few if you'd care to hear them.  
  
Spike snorted and took the bottle and mug to the table. He pulled out one of the chairs and spun it around before sitting down. You're going to tell me whether I want to hear them or not.  
  
Buffy took a seat infront of the vampire, turning her chair around as well. For one, how about letting go a little? I know you're pissed and you feel responsible, despite what we tell you. Shamus is right; if you go after Leila now, you're just taking an unnecessary risk that could put us all in danger.  
  
I said I'd keep up the charade, didn't I? I'm not going to go after her. Did you not believe me?  
  
I do believe you, Buffy confirmed. She stared at her fidgety hands. She had a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach that refused to go away. She felt it last night after her dream and it was back again. God, she was so worried about him. She didn't say so; he would spend too much time trying to reassure her that he wasn't going anywhere. He couldn't go anywhere, not now. She still needed time, needed to work up courage.  
  
I'll do whatever I have to do. Buffy didn't like the sound of that, but there was nothing left to be said on the matter.  
  
Again, Spike reached for the bourbon. Buffy slapped her hand over its mouth. More ideas, Slayer? he asked sarcastically.  
  
  
  
Spike huffed and stared at his love. Then at the bottle. Honestly, marshmallows did sound better. Top cabinet over the stove, he answered.  
  
Buffy smiled at his presumptuous attitude. That was the Spike she knew and...missed. Do I look like your marshmallow bitch? she laughed.  
  
You offered the mallows, I've accepted them. Now, it's only polite for you to retrieve them, he replied, logically.  
  
You were closer to the stove, Buffy playfully protested.  
  
And now I'm not.  
  
He smirked at her feigned disgust as she pulled out the bag of mini marshmallows. A mischievous grin crossed her face. Spike watched her, daring her to do whatever she was thinking.  
  
Just then, he was pelted with the white sugar substance. Mallow after mellow hit his face and several went into his mouth and mug.  
  
Bloody hell, woman! That's wasteful, he said around his mouthful of the mini treats.  
  
Buffy stuck out her bottom lip in a sexy pout. Don't do that, he warned her. He loved that part, her mouth and wanted nothing more than to sip from them till he was sated.  
  
She couldn't keep doing his to him, always the little vixen delighted to see him squirm. Spike pulled himself together and stood up. Now, you'll have to pick them all up.  
  
Buffy took several menacing steps towards him, the plastic bag still in her hands. Is it my fault you can't catch to save your unlife? She stopped in front of him, leaving little room for the Holy Ghost. Her gaze never left him as she snatched a mini marshmallow for the bag and held it before his lips. Her eyes sparkled as Spike complied and she placed the mallow on this tongue. She retracted her fingers, brushing them against Spike's smooth bottom lip as they passed.  
  
Spike shut his mouth and regarded the Slayer. She was expecting a response. Her heart rate was elevated, her arousal duly noted by the vampire and her lips were parted.  
  
He pulled her to him, plundering her mouth. His tongue immediately sought and was granted access. She tasted like sugar, curtesy of the marshmallow he just passed onto her.   
  
She pulled back suddenly, shocked by what she felt enter her mouth. It was unexpected, this partially melted mallow, but not unwelcome. She held his gaze as she swallowed it down and came back to his lips. Spike caressed and nipped his way along her mouth, taking her lower lip between his teeth. Buffy returned his attention equally, slipping her tongue inside his cool mouth.   
  
Spike laced his fingers into her long silky hair. God, how he loved that hair! His hands trailed down to her back and he held her close to his chest. Buffy smiled as she felt the vibration of his purring against her. She moaned her own happiness before pulling away to catch her breath.  
  
Oh, God, she whispered.  
  
Spike pressed his forehead to Buffy's, his chest rising and falling with hers. Buffy, I- He pulled away from her and gazed at her hooded eyes. He pressed his lips together and walked passed her.  
  
she called out, sounding almost like a shriek. Where are you going?  
  
was his answer.  
  
But, I- I thought we... I thought we were-  
  
We were, he assured her. I was just- I'm going to go get some sleep. Had a late night. He sheepishly smiled at her and she returned it.  
  
Did I snore? she laughed.  
  
Thankfully no. If you did, even I wouldn't have been able to sleep through it.  
  
Buffy's eyes went wide. Do I actually snore?  
  
Spike shook his head and laughed at the self conscious woman. Only slightly, Buffy, and not that often. Don't worry your pretty lil head; never kept me awake.  
  
Buffy blushed at the comment. At least she didn't make a lot of noise. No one ever said anything. Are you sure?   
  
Spike sauntered back over to her, his cocky swagger making a brief appearance. He stopped in front of her, his hands on his waist. I think I can claim authority on the matter, he whispered before placing a kiss on the tip of her nose.  
She met his gaze. God, he was beautiful! She could fall forever in those eyes and never give a damn. Of that, she was certain.  
  
Weren't you going somewhere?  
  
Spike breathed deeply. Yeah, I was. He gave her one last smirk before leaving the kitchen and heading upstairs.   
  
  
  
So, Leila's birth was foretold in the Guegen Sanction. This Ill Fated Night is destined to come again? Giles tried to clarify.  
  
O'Malley lit his cigar and shook the the match until it was extinguished. Yes, it is. It is on that day, Leila will complete the ritual and   
  
Buffy climbed the stairs to the loft, catching the tail end of O'Malley's statement. So, why is this integration so horrible again? she wondered. If she becomes whole, won't she be good, normal even?  
  
Integration is a loose translation of the word, Buffy, O'Malley explained. While bringing her two sides together, the demon will be subdued and the Slayer will be unnecessary, leaving her with infinite power and her own personality which is not angelic, to say the least.  
  
Buffy nodded her understanding. And the Council has no clue about this, right?  
  
Not a one, Giles confirmed. We still do not know when this is to take place or where for that matter.  
  
There is more to say, O'Malley confessed. He walked down to the living room, the other two right behind him. Once they were all seated, O'Malley revealed his new found information.  
  
I did not want to say this last evening without the proper evidence. I thought I might have translated incorrectly, but I fear I did not. Further into the prophecy, it details the ingredients needed for the spell to commence. It also makes reference to a clause.  
  
A clause? Buffy scoffed. What is this a legal document?  
  
I simply mean that there is reference... That is to say, Leila's powers, her gifts to be received may be intercepted.  
  
Giles stood up slowly and walked about the room. Another may steal her abilities.  
  
I believe her boss is going to try to do just that. Whether or not he could survive is another question entirely.  
  
What will happen to Leila if it does work? Buffy wanted to know.  
  
She will die. As long as we have the book, this will not come to pass. As long as the book remains safe with the Council, we are one step ahead of him.  
  
  
  
  
It all seemed rather simple from what he remembered. One half breed, blood and essence of soul. Transport into him and a few moments later, he is all powerful and immortal. It was very similar to a recipe, but Julia Childs he was not. Just a man with a vision and a deep desire to come out on top.  
  
It was too bad about Leila though. He was quite fond of her. Fond of her hips, her breasts, those astounding violet eyes that saw right through him, her luscious lips that drove him wild with only a smile. If he had his way, she would be with him always, overseeing the world they created together. His companion, his match in mind and passion. He did not love her, but he adored her. She did not love him, he knew that. She didn't love the vampire either, which warmed his heart. Leila was with him and there she would stay until her untimely demise.  
  
However, the advantages highly outweigh the disadvantages, he rationalized. And, more than technically speaking, she will always be a part of me. A grimace formed on his face at his joke. No, it brought him little pleasure to think of her end. That is why he would ensure her last days, two to be exact, where as wonderful as he could make them.  
  
He stood from his desk and ventured upstairs to their room. She was still sleeping soundly last time he checked on her. It was still the afternoon, but he thought he might rouse her all the same.   
  
Her face rested on a lone pillow, all the others that usually covered the bed were thrown to the floor last night. She looked like his little angel of death. Men would have no fear following this creature into the great beyond. He sat next to her and stroked her pale cheek. Leila nuzzled into his touch, a purr resonating in her chest. She blinked her eyes open and smiled at the sight of him.  
  
Hey, love, she greeted, her voice slightly raspy from sleep.  
  
Hey, yourself. He climbed in next to her and lay on his back. She curled her body around him, her left leg crossed his form, her hand draped on his chest, her head rested in the crook of his neck. He wrapped his arms around Leila, pulling her even closer. She giggled as he fingers tickled her upper arm. She was quite ticklish. Rest well? She nodded in response. I think we should just stay here, just like this, for the rest of the daylight hours. You agree? She just cuddled closer to him, her firm grip ensuring his position in bed for hours to come.  



	17. Sweet Serenity Part One

Disclaimer: Eh, you know it, I know it, spread the word!  
  
A/N: Hey all! I know, it's been awhile since I updated. Don't pummel me with anything, please, like everything right where it is. I was going to do update this weekend, but real life gave me a severe kick in the ass. But, all is well and here's the newest chapter. It's split in two for no real good reason except that it was bloody long. Thanks to all my readers for sticking with me and for all the positive feedback. It makes me glow:) Please keep Reviewing!!! Let me know what you think:)  
Till Next Time. Enjoy!  
  
  
  
Chapter 14: Sweet Serenity_  
_  
  
The rest of the day was spent in silence, save the two men held up in the loft library, neither coming down for anything except to retrieve a pen or pencil. Buffy went several times to Spike's door, raised her hand to knock, but she knew he was still sleeping. Part of her wanted to curl up next to him like she did the other night, gaze out the window and watch the day go by, having not a care in the world except for the man beside her, holding her close.   
  
She left him alone though, knowing he needed rest, and went to the living room and watched British TV shows she never heard of. She flipped the channels, nothing catching her interest until she hit the news. The weather report said rain off and on for the next three days. It was then she remembered the wretched storm from her dream.  
  
"Giles!" she shouted.  
  
Giles and O'Malley ran to the banister and looked down at the Slayer. Her eyes were wide watching the TV screen. "Buffy, what is it? What is the matter?" Giles called down to her.  
  
"I never told you. I totally forgot to tell you about my dream."  
  
"Oh, the Slayer's been having dreams, has she?" O'Malley inquired as he came down to sit beside her.  
  
"Y-yes, I had another dream last night. This one... it was much more vivid. Whatever this Ill Fated Night is, it's coming soon."  
  
Buffy told the two men everything, the vast hills, the makeshift alter, the storm. She told them about the eyes and the blood. She wasn't afraid of the girl; she pitied her. The girl, she knew it was Leila. And then there was the other vampire standing against the wind and the rain that thrashed his body. He waited for what was to come.  
  
Buffy's voice shook as she told Giles and Shamus of her struggles to get to the vampire. She feared for the world, but could do nothing except scream into the night. Then there was the lightning.  
  
"A big bolt of lightning struck the vampire's chest."  
  
"And this vampire...it was Spike, was it not?"   
  
Buffy nodded. "I didn't know it at first, but the air...there were...blue sparks all around the place."  
  
"Sparks you say?" O'Malley rested his chin in his small hands and leaned forward.  
  
"Yeah, like electricity. With that and the lightning, I could see his face. It was him." Buffy sniffed softly at the admission. "So, what does this mean, Giles?"  
  
"Well, it could mean any number of things. It could be metaphorical or...literal."  
  
"No, Spike is not going to die. Not while I'm still the Slayer!"  
  
"Buffy, I did say it could be metaphoric."  
  
"Whichever it is," O'Malley began, "Buffy is most certainly dreaming of the Night of Ill Fated, when the mystics are so dense the air crackles." Buffy's face fell at the leprechaun's words. He did not like the possibility of losing his friend either, but it could very well come to pass. "Nothing is ever certain, Slayer. You've proven that numerous times or so I've heard. I worry for William as well. He is a gallant man if ever there was one and exceptionally strong willed. He will stop the boss and Leila; try to save the girl if he can. That is his nature."  
  
Buffy swallowed. "You think he'll kill himself saving the world."  
  
"If it comes to that, I know he will; he will do anything to save you, save us all."  
  
"I won't let him; it's not his job. I'll stop him."  
  
"Let's not jump to conclusions," Giles insisted. "This can still be metaphorical, Buffy."  
  
But, the Slayer wouldn't have any of it. She ran upstairs and threw on her patrol clothing. Something needed to die and soon. She had to kill something, anything would do at the moment, fresh born fledgling, a minion, a dumb ass demon, something that would fight her. She needed to fight; it was her job, her calling. It wasn't Spike's. She died to save the world, he was supposed to stay alive and watch over her loved ones. No, he wasn't going to die, neither was she, not for a long while atleast. They were going to survive this, walk away hand in hand ready to face life. Her determination had never been stronger. And yet, doubt always found a way to creep into her mind and heart.  
  
  
  
"Very well. Everyone has their assignments, yes?" the boss asked his minions. A rumble of affirmative responses came from the mass. "If you have questions, ask them now." No one responded. "You've all done very good work. Now, Team One will be heading out in a matter of minutes. Team Two will have exactly ten minutes to perform their mystics. Team Three, be on standby, alert at all times and ready for the contingency plan should the need arise. I doubt it will though."   
  
The boss ran his fingers through his dark hair. "Once this phase is complete, it will only be matter of days until the Night of Ill Fated. And it will be successful." He said the last part more to himself than his employees. "I've worked too long and too hard, wasting my talents on ungrateful people without the slightest sense of what it means to be" His voice trailed off, not wanting to air his dirty laundry in front of these creatures. "I've work too hard to have this bullocked up now. Playtime is over. Villains do not get days off."  
  
  
  
  
The Watcher told him about Leila's possible demise. All thoughts of staying in flew out the window. He needed to find something on Leila. None of the snitches knew where she was and the other demons he grabbed in the streets were too scared to utter a syllable. The only thing he managed to get out of the tight-lipped cretins was that the man was very rich, well connected and ruthless. That much Spike already deduced! What he did not know was that he was said to reside in the area surrounding Spike's townhouse.  
  
Spike spent most of the night stalking in the shadows of his neighborhood. If this man or thing was so close by, did he watch them, know their every move? Or was he so cocky he didn't give two shits? Spike needed to decide what kind of man he was.   
  
The possibilities ran through his mind during patrol and continued as he lay in bed. He stared at the canopy, searching for answers in the raw silk. What kind of creature would impose himself on a confused young woman, solicit her help, her bed, only to kill her later? What kind of creature would do that for a chance to become immortal? And what kind of creature never showed himself or made any attempts on his enemies?  
  
"A rich, cocky human," Spike ascertained. It had to be a human behind this. The Slayer part of Leila would never trust a demon and the vampire portion of her would crave kinship, companionship, something humans also needed. But, how? How could this man convince Leila he simply wanted to help? It was with this thought that weariness overtook the vampire's body. So lost was he in his slumber that he did not hear the slight creak of his window open nor the pitter patter of feet on his carpeted floors.  
  
  
  
  
The room was covered in a green haze, the atmosphere sick from the creatures it's forced to host. She was in her bedroom, her entire body covered in a layer of sweat. Her breath was ragged and she was crying. Giles was at her bedside as was Shamus and Colin. Dawn stood at the foot of the bed, concern in her pale blue eyes.  
  
What was going on? Why was she in so much pain? She'd never felt pain like this before. White hot agony poisoned every vein, every nerve ending was at attention. Even breathing hurt. Her chest felt empty as it rose and fell in quick succession. Nothing eased her pain. She couldn't ask her friends what was wrong and they offered no words of comfort. They simply watched her.  
  
Buffy blinked as her eyes filled with more tears. When would it end, this unknown torment that threatened to rip her apart? Why couldn't someone help her?  
  
She saw Xander and Willow appear behind Dawn, the same sympathetic faces. Her friends were all there. Where was Spike? She looked all around, but wasn't there.  
  
Another cramp raged through her stomach. Where was he? He needed to be here...for this...for her.  
  
A soft light appeared at Buffy's side. She turned her head with much effort. There she saw the most heavenly sight. Her mother leaned over and brushed a kiss on Buffy's forehead.  
  
"Mommy," Buffy sobbed.  
  
"I'm right here, honey," Joyce whispered to her daughter.  
  
Buffy's hand crept up her body, one held her aching stomach, the other her heaving chest. "It hurts so much, Mommy. Make it stop, please," she begged her mother. She didn't know how much more she could take of this.  
  
"Don't worry, Buffy, it's almost over and I'm right here."  
  
"Wh-where is he?" she choked out. "He needs to be here."  
  
Joyce smiled sweetly at her little girl. "He will be, Buffy. He wouldn't leave you, not now, not ever."  
  
Buffy looked away. She heard the words, but couldn't let herself believe them, not until she saw his blue eyes gazing lovingly into her.  
  
The door to her bedroom opened and there he stood in his black duster, standing stock still.  
  
"Spike?" she croaked. He looked up at her, but she couldn't see his eyes. "Spike?" she repeated. Why wasn't he coming in the room?  
  
Another wave came and she cried out to him once more. When she looked back, a figure stood behind Spike. It was Leila. Dread laced through Buffy's heart.  
  
The girl placed her small pale hand on Spike's shoulder. Spike winced at the contact and fell to the floor.  
  
"Spike?!" He wasn't moving.  
  
Leila reached out to the door, the devil jumping out of her eyes, and yanked the door shut.  
  
Buffy's swollen eyes closed. She tried to contain her tremors at his loss; it just hurt too much to move. Spike had to come back.  
  
"La Nasckita."  
  
She opened her eyes half way and looked over to her sister. "What are you saying?"  
  
Dawn pointed to the book now in Giles's hand. "La Nasckita."  
  
Just then, she heard a blood curdling scream; Death itself screamed out to her. And she yelled back.  
  
"Spike!"  
  
  
  
"Nooo!"  
  
Buffy tumbled out of bed onto the floor, her body full of spasms. For a moment she wasn't sure if she was still asleep, trapped in her room unable to move without intense agony.  
  
She managed to roll herself onto her back. Everything was still dark, must still be night. How long was she asleep?  
  
She went to bed almost immediately after her quick patrol with Giles. She had a feeling a Slayer dream would visit her. Nothing prepared her for the blinding pain she experienced. What will happen to her that would bring about such a feeling?   
  
Buffy tried to control her breathing as she stared up to the ceiling and beyond. She pictured the stars above and wondered if the PTBs were watching her right now. Or did they leave her? In a way, Buffy hoped they had left, so she could walk away and hopefully avoid anything or anyone that could give her that pain.  
  
Buffy's hands automatically went to her chest and stomach. She shut her eyes and concentrated on her breathing.


	18. Sweet Serenity Part Two

A/N: I think I have a problem with writing big chapters, what do you think?  
  
  
Chapter 14: Sweet Serenity  
  
  
Spike sensed a shift in the air. Through his hazy mind he noted a slight weight settling into the mattress beside him. He smelled cigarettes...spice...  
  
"And everything nice," Spike thought. Which meant a woman. The female stretched out beside him, draping one slim thigh on top of his own.  
  
His eyes popped open as the scent of sex filled his nose. He was greeted by vibrant eyes and luscious dark lips curled in a seductive smile.  
  
"I was wondering when you would wake up. You really do sleep like a dead."  
  
"If you don't start talking soon, you will be too," he ground out.   
  
Leila looked taken aback. "Don't be like that, Spike," she said, her voice small and...hurt?  
  
Spike sat up in bed and stared at the woman beside him, definitely not the one he wanted to wake up to. "You've got stones, Leila. Entering a vampire's bedroom while he's sleeping, especially this vampire's room."   
  
His steely gaze, full of irritation and disappointment drove into her. She scrambled up and sat in front of Spike, her feet tucked underneath her. Her hands were tugging at the material of her skirt. She looked insecure, like she lost the nerve she came in there with. Must be quite inconvenient trying to be the Big Bad when one can rarely rely on one's mental state. "I...I..." she stammered.  
  
"I don't think I've seen you speechless before, love," he said with a smirk. "You should try it more often, looks good on you." Spike was shocked to see the young thing blush and reduce herself to twiddling her fingers.  
  
"I wouldn't get used it," she warned him. His gaze was softer now, which pleased her somewhat. She chewed the corner of her mouth as she looked at him. "You keep a nice room here," she commented. "Nice bed."  
  
"I've been told so." Visions of Buffy crawling up his bed, sleeping in those very sheets filled his mind. He shook them away before the evidence of their affect on him became evident. "Now that we've been through the niceties, why don't we get on with this? Why did you decide to break into my home?"  
  
The return of his business tone disappointed her; she wanted to keep talking, but she supposed the incident with O'Malley was still too fresh. She was never one for patience. "Well, how else was I going to see you?" she ventured, turning her violet eyes to him.  
  
"To be perfectly honest, I'm not to keen on seeing you at all, pet. Now, if there's nothing else..."   
  
Spike moved to get off of the bed, but Leila was on him immediately, shoving him back into the mattress. She quickly straddled him, holding him in place with her thighs and pinning his hands to his sides. "Is that any way to treat a guest, love?" she asked with a smile.  
  
He was shocked when she flung herself on top of him; her transformations were sometimes sudden. One look into those wicked eyes, he knew that little girl he saw only seconds ago was gone, leaving the bint before him. "One is not a guest when she breaks in. So, if you would kindly get the Hell off of me." Spike tried to buck her off of him, but her iron clad hold on his legs didn't budge. Spike tried once more, much to Leila's amusement. Her bubbles of laughter only aggravated him all the more.  
  
"Truthfully, love, I'd sit still if I were you." Leila produced a stake, placing it directly over Spike's unbeating heart. He felt the coarse wood as he sharply inhaled.  
  
"Don't do that again, Spike," he thought to himself. "Not unless you want to be dust under this bint's fingernails."  
  
"Bloody hell, woman. What do you think you are doing?"  
  
Her small pink tongue darted out, slowly licking her upper lip as she contemplated the question. "What am I doing or what do I want to be doing?" she purred.  
  
Leila bent over, inching her way to Spike's ear. She made sure the tops of her ample breasts were visible in her form fitting black camisole.  
  
Spike took in the sight she offered as well as the rest of her. Pert, ivory breasts pressed against the thin lacy material, rosy nipples barely visible, just waiting for someone to pluck them free. The garment stopped at her belly button. Riding dangerously low on her hips was a long black skirt with slits running up the sides to mid thigh. Her perfectly toned legs were visible as she continued to grip Spike. Strangely, she was bare foot.   
  
Pale and yet dark. He preferred golden and glowing.  
  
There was no mistaking this woman's intentions. Either she wanted a good kill then shag. Or she wanted a good shag then kill.   
  
Leila's tongue appeared once more and languidly traced his earlobe before closing her lips over it. "It would make my job a lot easier if you stayed out of my way," she whispered.  
  
Spike smirked. If this was how she wanted to play the scene, he was ready. "Now, love, you know I do things the hard way."  
  
A delighted giggle fell out of the woman. "And I'm glad for it!"  
  
Spike felt her slight shudder along his body. Bad boy, Spike. Remember who this is. Think unsexy thoughts.  
  
Of course, this whole fiasco was morbidly sexy. He was a man and waking up to a ready woman straddling him was not a horrible thing. This girl here was ready for him; he knew she wasn't wearing anything under that skirt. He felt her heat through his pajama pants. Hell, her scent woke him up! And he was a vampire, highly susceptible to those around him. Sometimes, being a man and a vampire had its disadvantages.   
  
Unsexy thoughts...Tony Blair playing polo topless...Prince Charles playing polo topless...Rupert playing polo topless...  
  
The last image almost had him laughing and he regained his wits. "Why don't you do what you came here to do, already? Spike suggested.  
  
Leila looked into Spike's eyes now dark with swirls of emotions. She trailed her fingertips down his throat over his pecs and circled one of his nipples. Spike hissed slightly as she gave it a twist.  
  
"Why rush, William? We can be slow...and soft...and sweaty. I can be gentle, if you let me. I can love every inch of you until you're shaking beneath me." She bent down and placed open mouth kisses along his shoulder, up his neck and along his jaw. He tasted so good. She relished his smooth cool skin as she sucked it into her mouth. She wanted nothing more than to be in his arms, to have him flip her over and bury himself in her heat, right up to the hilt.  
  
Even with her almost dizzying need, she was still aware of his every movement. He was relaxed, trying to think of a way out of this situation. "Let him think," she told herself. "I want to have fun. May never get another chance to be this close to him."  
  
She made her way to his cheekbones and finally to his full lips.  
  
"I'm guessing someone lost a few things once she got out," Spike said between her kisses. Again, he felt her body shudder with giggles when she understood his innuendo. She didn't say anything just reclaimed his lips which responded after some coaxing. Leila moaned as her tongue slipped into his mouth, the coolness a stark contrast to her heat.  
  
His hands reached out for her thighs. He needed out of this situation. Despite her attention to the recesses of his mouth, he knew her reflexes were strong and fully in tune to every move of his muscles, just as he was to hers. It was how they fought, pure as nature.   
  
He ran his fingers lazily along her heated skin. She felt good, he admitted to himself. There was a time he would have taken her hard and unrelenting, reveling in her screams of pleasure. Leila was definitely a screamer. This scenario wasn't even an option now. Despite the deep seeded regret he would feel in the morning, he was in love with someone else, nothing more to say on the matter. His plan was therefore simple; get her to drop that bleeding stake!  
  
As his fingers rose, so did her intensity. She fisted her free hand into his platinum locks as he moved under the camisole.   
  
Further, further, her mind screamed.   
  
It didn't enter into her mind that he was indifferent to her, that his kisses lacked the fervor hers held. But, he was beneath her, his hands were on her body, caressing the muscles in her back, easing her down to his chest. That's all she needed to know.   
  
Leila pulled away from him, gasping for oxygen. She stared at the vampire as she regained her breath. Her eyes were deep purple, deep as dusk.  
  
Spike watched the rise and fall of her chest as his hands moved to her waist. She smiled as his movements tickled her. "She's just a girl," Spike mused. "A misguide young thing trying to be an adult." He felt like such shit. "Leila?"  
  
"Yes?" she asked in a throaty whisper.  
  
"Give us the stake, love."  
  
Lust immediately turned to rage. "You right bastard!" she cried. Gone was the woman who wanted the vampire seconds ago. In her place was a powerful creature, blood in her eyes.  
  
"Leila, give me the stake and let me help you."  
  
"You are the one who needs help, Spike. I gave you a chance, but now you're going to die."  
  
"And so will you if you stay with him." Leila paused, her eyes widened. "He will kill you, Leila, after the spell."  
  
"I don't believe you. All you want to do is hurt me."   
  
"Tell me who he is. I'll take care of it. I can help you, Leila."  
  
"No! You hurt - you hurt everyone - you hurt me," Leila sputtered. Her head was pounding and she could barely hear her own thoughts. "He doesn't hurt me. He wants me."  
  
"He wants your power, love. Tell me his name." Spike could see her reserve breaking. He reached out to touch her arm.  
  
"Stop! Stop talking. I... No more. No more." Leila raised the stake with her shaky hand. Spike called her bluff and waited for impact.  
  
"I would think twice before doing that, Leila."  
  
Violet eyes turned to the Slayer. Buffy almost fell backwards at their power, just like in her dream.  
  
Leila cocked her head to one side and took in the woman before her, who so rudely interrupted her kill...if indeed she could have gone through with it. "The Slayer?" she asked. She looked at the man beneath her for the answer. She laughed, finding it in the worry he tried to hide. "No wonder." She smashed her lips to Spike's, giving him a bruising kiss. "Later, lover."   
  
She threw the stake at Buffy and jumped off the bed. Buffy easily dodged the object, but the delay enabled Leila to exit through the open window. She watched as the girl ran like the wind away from the townhouse. She was so fast!  
  
Buffy turned back to Spike. He just looked at her calmly, propped up on his elbows. How could he be so relaxed? Oh, yes. She tried to blink away the image of that little girl straddling her vampire. Yes, her vampire. Not Leila's, not Druscilla's, hers! She never wanted to be witness to that sight ever again.  
  
She met Spike's gaze once more. He was waiting for her to say something. She didn't. She just made her way to the door.  
  
"Buffy?" he called to her.   
  
She stopped moving, but continued to stare at the door, her way out. It hurt in here, it hurt more in her room. She couldn't win.   
  
"How much longer were you going to wait outside the door?"  
  
"It sounded like you had things under control," she grumbled. She wanted to sound indifferent about the moans of pleasure that emanated from the room. She stood with her ear pressed to the wood, jealousy flooding her body. She wanted to cry pure tears of sadness, nothing mixed in, no anger, just unadulterated sadness. The tears stung her red eyes, still swollen from her dream.  
  
"Bloody hell. Didn't you hear me mention the stake pressed to my chest?"  
  
"I'm sorry, it was hard to make out. Pardon my pun." She spun on her heels and faced him. He was sitting up, feet planted on the carpet.  
  
"You're impossible, you know that, right?"  
  
"I'm impossible?! I'm not the one who's humping the enemy."  
  
"I'm not- Jesus, Buffy, you don't even know what happened here."  
  
"Enlighten me." She took a seat on the bed, tucking her knees beneath her chin.  
  
"I woke up to her in my bed and she pressed a stake to my heart. If I moved, I was dust. So, I opted for another way out."  
  
"So, you planned to give her another activity to occupy her hands."  
  
"Damn it, woman! Do you listen at all? Did you want me to die?"  
  
She glared at him from under her lids. "How can you ask me that question?" Her voice low with seriousness.  
  
"How can I not? You didn't care about my well being, just with what you saw, which was her."  
  
"Yes, I saw her. I don't think I've ever felt so sick in my life."  
  
Spike cocked his head to the side. "Sick?"  
  
She threw her hands up in the air. God, he could be so dense! "Yes, sick. Seeing her on top of you made me sick. You happy?"  
  
"Not exactly," he admitted, shaking his head. A brief silence passed between them, both agreeing this incident wasn't worth yelling about.   
Spike tentatively raised his hand to brush Buffy's red cheeks. "What happened, love?"  
  
"Dream," she whispered. "No, it was a nightmare." She gently leaned into his touch, the coolness relieving the flush of her face.  
  
"Do you want to tell me, love?"  
  
Buffy just slid into his arms, resting her head in the crook of his neck. She took several breaths and waited for him to close the embrace. When she felt his hand trail softly up and down her arm, she chose to speak. "Not really. Is that okay?"  
  
"Whatever you want, Buffy. That bad, huh?"  
  
She nodded and turned into his chest, holding him close. She didn't want to think about the dream. It just made her remember what she was going to lose. How could she have been so stupid and so harsh to him earlier? Sometimes, he just seemed like the same old cocky vampire she tried to dismiss. But, right now, he was so gentle and loving, saying nothing, just being. She didn't want to move. If they just stayed put, holding each other, feeling nothing but this sweet serenity then tomorrow wouldn't come. The sun would come and go, but there would be no tomorrow. Tomorrow wouldn't begin until they left the safety of that room, when reality broke down the door and dragged her away from him.  
  
"We really need to stop having these fights," she sighed, snuggling further into him.  
  
Spike rested his chin in her head, inhaling her scent. "I'm open for suggestions."  
  
"Well, did you really mean what you said before about doing this side by side?"  
  
"'Course, pet."  
  
"Then I think we have some things to say to each other. You go first," she insisted.  
  
"Very well." He thought for a minute, concentrating on the circles he was drawing along Buffy's arm. "The thing with Leila...I made a decision, Buffy. If you don't like it, that's fine, but you weren't the one who had to make it."  
  
"I know," she admitted. "I wasn't in the best state when I came in here. I was still reeling from my dream. It's not an excuse; I'm just telling you what happened."  
  
"I'm sorry," he said before kissing her hair. "Is there anything else, pet?"  
  
Buffy swallowed hard. He was fishing and she didn't know if she wanted to bite, maybe nibble. "Spike...I keep flying off the handle."  
  
"Want to tell me why?"  
  
Buffy pushed away from Spike, but remained in his arms. "Jesus, Spike, I'm not a child. Stop the patronizing."  
  
"Buffy, calm down. Didn't mean to sound patronizing. Just tell me."  
  
She slumped her shoulders and huffed. "I don't want you to kiss Leila. I don't want to see it, hear it or even know if it's happening. I flipped because...it's stupid...I guess I was scared."  
  
"Of?"  
  
"That you changed your mind." Buffy breathed deeply. She got this far, where was she going to go from here? She closed her eyes and pressed forward. "I don't want you to kiss Leila because I only want you to kiss me."  
  
She waited for a response. He was so quiet, his mimicked breathing ceased. She opened her eyes and met his gaze. Still nothing. He just stared at her, into her was more accurate. "Say something, damn it," she whispered. It sounded more like a plea.  
  
"What would you have me say, Buffy? Thank you for the honesty?"  
  
"Only if you want a swift punch in the nose. You could say kissing her was like kissing your grandmother."  
  
Spike shuddered. "You never saw my grandmum, not the prettiest woman in England." They both shared a giggle over that, but Buffy's smile quickly faded.  
  
"You could always tell me I'm better?"  
  
"'S not even comparable." Spike looked at Buffy. She was shaking, probably too much honesty for her at once. She looked expectant as she bit her lower lip, a nervous habit. "She wants me to kiss her," he thought. She was still so close to him, still encircled by his arms. He could feel her body pulsating.  
  
When he made no move, she spoke his name. "Spike?"  
  
"No," he whispered.  
  
"No what?"  
  
"I-I'm not going to kiss you." He released her from his hold, but she remained close.  
  
"I don't understand. I thought...I thought- Okay, let's go with why?" she stammered, her mind running ahead of her mouth.  
  
"You want me, to keep me from someone else. You want to kiss me in hopes I won't kiss her."  
  
"Spike, I-"  
  
"I'm trying to be honest here, Buffy."  
  
She scowled at him. She tried to fight back the tears and thankfully she was winning. "As am I. Why are you doing this? You wanted honesty, I gave it to you. I told why I did what I did."  
  
"I know," he said. He was now staring at his hands. He couldn't look at Buffy's face, her green eyes full of rival emotions.  
  
She grabbed his hands and placed them in her lap, wanting to change his focus. He wasn't going to get rid of her so easily. She would not be dismissed, not now, not ever. "Then what is wrong?"  
  
"I told you," he responded, his eyes meeting hers.  
  
"You don't think I mean it."  
  
"I think you mean it. I just need more."  
  
  
  
Giles carefully walked down the hall. A raucous woke him up and immediately he reached for his stake. After several moments, he heard nothing and decided to investigate. It couldn't have been a vampire because no one had an invitation inside. Unless...a certain someone didn't need an invitation. He stepped quietly towards Spike's bedroom door, but stopped when he heard garbled words.  
  
"Why are we fighting about this?"  
  
It was Buffy, he realized, fighting with Spike. He couldn't hear Spike's response, but he heard Buffy's.   
  
"I don't have forever, Spike, and neither do you. What happened to, 'I want you by my side' and no fighting and... all of that stuff? Were you lying to me?"  
  
Again, Spike's response was too quiet to hear, if indeed he made one.  
  
"You say I can't make up my mind, neither can you and I'm tired of it."  
  
This time Spike's answer rang clear through the halls.  
  
"I did make up my mind!" There was silence.   
  
Giles felt guilty eavesdropping on this very private conversation, but something rooted him to the spot. Maybe it was the father in him, hearing his distressed daughter fighting with a man she cared deeply for prevented him from leaving. There were several more words spoken, but nothing Giles could make out. And then there was nothing.  
  
"Good night, Buffy," he heard Spike say.  
  
Buffy eased herself out into the hallway, tears streaming down her face. She leaned against the wall, not even noticing she wasn't alone. A smile broke her face followed by a deep sob.  
  
Giles looked at her. He wanted to run to her, comfort her, but then he noticed something. She wasn't upset; that was a real smile on her face. What happened? "Buffy?"  
  
She looked up at the man and released a laugh, her hand covering her mouth. Giles looked down at himself. His physical appearance was rather comical, bed head, a flannel robe and fuzzy slippers.   
  
"Buffy, is everything alright? I heard a disturbance." The Slayer just nodded, still chuckling behind her hand, her cheeks shimmered with glee. "Did you have another dream?" he inquired, hoping that's what led her to Spike's room.   
  
At the mention of the dream, Buffy's face fell. She nodded vehemently as she glanced back at the vampire behind the barrier. So much was going on with them and her dreams were killing her. She wanted to run back into his bedroom and throw herself into his arms again.  
  
"Please tell me, Buffy, what is the matter?"  
  
"Giles, I'm in trouble."  
  
"What kind of trouble?"  
  
She gave him a crooked smile, her eyes glittered. "The biggest," she replied as she opened Spike's door and slipped back inside, leaving a dumbfounded Watcher alone with his fuzzy slippers.   
  
He walked back to his room, not wanting to hear the smacking of his daughter's lips and her vampire's. He wasn't a supporter of this renewal of their relationship, considering Buffy's traumatic dreams and Spike's possible role in them. What if they did come true and Spike lost the battle? What would Buffy do then?  
  
The Watcher shook his head. He wouldn't allow himself to think such negative thoughts. At first, he thought Buffy would drive Spike to distraction. If anything though, having Buffy back again might strengthen Spike's chances. He would fight harder to stay on this Earth, stay with her. He wouldn't leave her again, not even the Devil himself could drag him into Hell. Hopefully.  
  
  
  
~Alrighty everyone. What did you think???~  
  
  
  
  
  



	19. Reason To Be or The Telephone Rang

Disclaimer: Oh, how I love James. Let me count the ways... I don't own anything except my own characters, so no touchie!  
  
Distribution: You want it? Gotta ask me nicely.  
  
A/N: Thank you all so much for all the reviews. They were lovely, I was positively tickled pink, honestly! I'm so glad you are all still enjoying the story so much:) You've made this lil girl(not that lil!) very happy.  
So, here's the Chapter 15 technically. Enjoy!  
Till Next Time~ I am the Tranio of Pine~  
  
  
  
Chapter 15: Reason To Be(the Telephone Rang)  
  
~*~*~  
  
  
Buffy stood silently by the closed door. She saw him sprawled out in his bed, staring at the ceiling as if he was waiting for her to come back into the room. How did he know her so well? She looked at him, her eyes trailed over the alabaster skin of his muscular chest, glowing in the moonlight that filtered through the curtains, down his taut abdomen and passed his sheet covered legs. He was just so mesmerizing and she wanted him so badly.  
  
Buffy, I'm tired, he moaned, rolling onto his side to face her, the bed sheet slipping slightly passed his well defined hips. So, either go back to your room or get over here.  
  
Buffy couldn't help but give him a smile as she made her way into his bed. She climbed in and immediately cuddled up to the vampire, placing a warm kiss on his lips, one he eagerly returned. She nestled her head into the crook of his neck and sighed as he wrapped his arms around her. She dozed off with the small smile gracing her lips.  
  
  
~*~*~   
  
  
  
  
Buffy knew she was going to wake up soon, but she just wanted to stay in this place a little while longer. She was warm, safe, covered by soft blankets, and she was peaceful. She hadn't been here for a long while, no dreams plagued her; no deep seeded feeling of sorrow stirred her. There was nothing, but calm and...bells? A distant ringing reached her ear, but soon stopped, replaced by a voice no higher than a whisper. She knew that voice. She smiled as it drew her slowly out of her haze. She loved that voice and that mouth from which it came. It grew louder, the words more distinguishable as she eased into the land of the awake.  
  
"She was the most stubborn, annoying, arrogant little chit that ever walked across this planet," she heard Spike say to whomever was on the phone.   
  
Did she hear right? Did he say that about her? He better not have. Buffy was suddenly thankful she didn't sleep with him last night.   
  
  
Clem sighed. He called only a moment ago and asked "How is Buffy?" Then Spike started in. He wasn't angry though, which was a good sign. He just seemed to burst like a bubble, like he was waiting for someone to ask the right question so he could spill. As long as they weren't trying to kill each other, Clem was happy.  
  
"So, she was jealous then?" Clem asked his best friend.  
  
"She was jealous," Spike confirmed. "Jealous, insecure, aggravating, infuriating-"  
  
"So, you don't want her anymore?"  
  
"Weren't you listening?" Spike wondered. The vampire had a grin on his face a mile wide and was not aware that the woman in his bed was awake and listening to every word he said. "She's jealous, insecure, aggravating and..."  
  
"Infuriating," Clem reminded him.  
  
"Yes, infuriating. But, then she changed. She became understanding, affectionate like you wouldn't believe, and...caring." Spike stared out the window and sighed. "Of course, I want her. I've always wanted her and will always want her, but..."  
  
"But what?"   
  
"I don't know if I can go 'round that bend again. I'm not a bleedin' yo-yo."  
  
"I love yo-yos!" Clem exclaimed. "Never could get that Around the World trick though. It might have something to do with my hands or-"  
  
"Clem? I'm trying to do the heart to heart thing here."  
  
"Oh, sorry, Spike." Clem thought about what Spike said. The answer was simple to him. He liked things simple. Carlotta, now that was simple. His heart went aflutter, so did hers, and he knew he would never want to be anywhere else but where she was. "Maybe you two should go dancing!" he offered. "Lotta always says-"  
  
"That's her answer for everything," Spike interrupted. "You're having a tift? Go dancing. Have no sex life? Go dancing."  
  
"Spike?"  
  
The vampire whirled around and saw Buffy sitting up in bed, fully awake, looking so beautiful with her mussed hair.  
  
"Look, mate, can you call me back later?" he asked, eyes still on Buffy.  
  
"No problem, Spike. I'll call back in an hour. Carlotta will be back and I know she wants to talk to you and Buffy."  
  
"Alright, cheers." Spike clicked off the cordless phone and walked back to the bed. He stood beside Buffy, wondering just what she heard him say.  
  
"I thought you were still sleeping."  
  
"I was."  
  
"Did I wake you up?" Spike placed the phone back in its cradle and sat on the edge of the bed. Buffy shook her head. "So...you want breakfast?" he asked.  
  
Buffy smiled. "Feeling domestic?"  
  
"You look like you could use some sustenance is all."  
  
"And I could, but people don't usually serve breakfast to stubborn, annoying, arrogant little chits."  
  
Spike's eyes bugged out of his head at her statement. "You heard that? Buffy, I didn't-"  
  
Buffy grabbed Spike's hands. "I heard what you said. I've been called worse, or maybe it just sounds better coming from you. Plus, I heard what you said afterwards. How's Clem doing anyway?"  
  
"Wonderful, both of them happy as can be. He would have called sooner, but I think they just decided to leave the bedroom."   
  
Buffy giggled at that idea. Spike lay down across the bed on his side, his hand propping up his head. He seemed relaxed, Buffy noted, just being there still in his red pajama pants and nothing else. The only thing that betrayed his repose was the tired look in and around his eyes. She hoped he slept some. Well, she knew he slept some because she watched him. He was so still. She gently fingered his curly hair as she watched him for those moments. It surprised her when his chest suddenly puffed up with air and released it slowly. He was such a sight to behold, so beautiful she didn't want to touch him, disturb him, but she couldn't stay away. She cuddled next to the vampire and quickly fell back asleep on his chest. "I guess he wasn't sleeping as soundly as I thought."  
  
"Clem met Carlotta's family the other day. Said they were very welcoming and very good cooks."  
  
"That's good considering Clem's appetite!" Buffy joined him across the bed, mirroring his position.  
  
"He said he'd call back in an hour. Apparently, the missus wants to talk to us." Spike hand trailed across the covers to Buffy's and gently played with her fingers.  
  
"Oh no. Are we in trouble?" Buffy asked, pretending to be scared.  
  
"With Carlotta, one never knows."  
  
Buffy loved it when Spike smiled, a genuine smile like the one spread across his face at that moment. He glowed, his eyes sparkled and she never saw him more open and honest. Buffy leaned over and brushed her lips softly against his. She pulled back slightly only to return with two more gentle kisses.  
  
Buffy sat up and entwined her fingers firmly with his. "Now, I believe I was offered breakfast. Are you cooking or shall I?"  
  
Spike's eyes widened at her question. "You cooking? I think I'd rather slave over the hot stove if you don't mind."  
  
"I'm not that bad, Spike, but who am I to object to breakfast in bed?"  
  
Spike's scarred brow arched. "You want me to bring you breakfast in bed? So you can fill my nice sheets with crumbs and stain it with your coffee? Not bloody likely." Spike stood up and hauled Buffy off the bed into his embrace.  
  
"Come on, Spike, I'll be good," she promised taking his other hand for balance.  
  
"Oh, I know you'll be good. You're coming downstairs with me."  
  
Buffy frowned. Visions of Spike coming back into the bedroom, a tray of food placed on the bed, licking stray drops of syrup from her lips vanished. "Not very romantic," she whined almost inaudibly.  
  
Spike chuckled at her behavior. Sure, he didn't mind the idea of breakfast in bed, hand feeding her strawberries, playfully flicking whipped cream on her nose only to kiss it away. It was quite the pleasing idea, but he knew that breakfast in bed would quickly turn into lunch in bed and possibly dinner and he couldn't give into that temptation. There was work to be done and when it was all over, he would bring Buffy breakfast in bed for solid month.  
  
"Do you want what I'm offering or are you going to pout all morning?" he asked her. The rumble of Buffy's stomach answered his question. "Right then, let's see what we have."  
  
  
  
It wasn't breakfast in bed, but Spike did catch a stray drop of syrup from Buffy's mouth...with his finger regretfully, but it was close enough. She wondered why he could always read her mind. She was glad for it though in this circumstance.   
  
The telephone rang when they were doing the dishes.  
  
"'Ello... Hey, Nibblet, how are you?...Yeah, she's right here." Spike handed Buffy the phone and walked back to the sink.  
  
"Hey, Dawnie, what's up?"  
  
Dawn smiled on the other end of the phone. She heard the happiness in both her sister and her best friend's voices. This was such a good sign!  
  
"Oh, I'm fine, Buffy. How are you?" She tried to contain her excitement, but she was about ready to burst with questions. "How's...everything?"  
  
"Everything is fine," Buffy answered, noting her sister's gleeful tone.  
  
"Oh, come on, Buffy are you going to make me beg?" Buffy just laughed at her little sister. "Buufffyyy," she whined. "Did you sleep with him yet?"  
  
"Dawn!" Buffy exclaimed.   
  
CRASH!  
  
Buffy whirled around and saw Spike's still face and a broken dish in his hands. "Are you okay?" she asked.   
  
Spike just looked at her for a second. He heard Dawn on the other end of the phone, not that he was eavesdropping. Normally, he wouldn't care about Dawn's bawdy mouth, but not in reference to him and her sister. "Fine, love, just fine. Why don't you take that elsewhere?" he asked, indicating the phone with a piece of broken dish.  
  
Buffy nodded and left the vampire to clean up.  
  
  
"I think you almost shocked Spike to death," Buffy laughed as she plopped down on a chair in the loft.  
  
"He'll get over it; I'm not a little girl.  
  
To him you are.  
  
What did he break?" Dawn wondered.  
  
"Just a dish. So, how are things at home?"  
  
"No way, Buffy. You didn't answer my question yet."  
  
"That's because it's none of your business, little sister."  
  
"Are you together? You sound happy so I'm going to assume he's given you a reason to be that way."  
  
"Yes, he has," Buffy smiled. "We're taking things slowly."  
  
"Take as much time as you want, Buffy. Everything is fine here. The Magic Box is fine, I'm fine, the Scoobies are fine."  
  
"Are you trying to get rid of me or something?" Buffy joked. She could almost hear her sister roll her eyes on the other end of the phone. "I know you can handle everything, Dawnie. That's not the point. It's- never mind.   
"Don't be stupid, Buffy. If he's what you want- Strike that, he _is_ what you want, don't let him go. He loves you so much, Buffy."  
  
Buffy let out a huge sigh. "He hasn't said it," she mumbled. "He hasn't once said that he still loves me."  
  
"You can't doubt that he does." Buffy said no, she didn't. "Maybe he's scared. Ever think of that? He's scared to be with you again unless he knows you love him back. Last time you didn't."  
  
"I know, Dawnie, I know. Just my luck, my first vampire lover loved me so much he couldn't be with me and my second won't be with me unless I love him as much as he loves me."  
  
"Would you want to be with someone who didn't love you as much as you loved him? Just tell him already." Dawn was irritated with her sister. She was with him, why wouldn't she just say it?   
  
"I can't, not yet, itwhat if he doesn't want to make it work? Long distance and all."  
  
"Bullshit! Don't you dare put all of this one him!" Dawn shouted. She didn't care if Spike heard or not, she'd tell him the same thing anyway. "That man loves you more than anyone could possibly ever hope to. And I know you love him too. It sucks what you're doing to him. You're just prolonging the pain because you think it's easier than the pain of love. You're fighting so hard, Buffy, for no reason, well, no good reason."  
  
"It's not that simple, Dawn." Buffy wanted to tell her about the dreams, about Spike's "death", but she couldn't. Dawn loved the vampire so much, more than her own father.  
  
"No, it's not simple. It's hard and scary and naked. And worth it. Buffy, if Spike left tomorrow, would you be happy knowing you never told him how you really felt? Would you be pleased that you kept your emotions inside? Or would you be a teary mess, thinking he'll never know the truth?   
"When did you get so knowledgeable?" Buffy sniffed.  
  
"I listen," was all she said before asking to talk to Spike.  
  
Buffy walked back into the kitchen. Spike was sitting on the counter talking to someone on his cellphone. She held out the cordless to him. "Dawn wants to talk to you," she said.  
  
Spike nodded and then spoke to the person on the other line. "Hey, love, can you hold on a minute?...Sure thing." Spike smiled at Buffy and traded the cellphone for the cordless. "It's Carlotta," he said.  
  
Buffy took the phone and went back to the living room.  
  
"Hey, Bit, have a nice chat with your sis?"  
  
"Hardly," she grumbled. "But, how are you doing? How's...everything?"  
  
  
  
  
"Hi, Carlotta, how's the honeymoon?"  
  
"Uh, fabulous!" the woman answered. "You and Spike really should come out here sometime; it's so romantic! I get lost here every time I come back."  
  
"I'm glad you're having so much fun. Clem called earlier, sounded just as content."  
  
"He is, he is. I haven't given him any reason not to be either." The two women giggled at that. "But, enough about my trip, how's yours? What do you think of London?"  
  
"Considering I haven't seen very much of it, it seems nice enough."  
  
Carlotta paused for a moment. "Where exactly have you been if you haven't seen much of London?" she wondered.  
  
"Slayer stuff, Carlotta. It hasn't been all fun and games," Buffy admitted.  
  
"You sound like you're enjoying yourself though, and Spike sounded the same way. Now, I know we haven't been friends for a very long time, but I would still appreciate some dishing."  
  
Buffy laughed. She really did like this woman. She was brazen, but classy as could be. She was an honest woman who followed her gut and her heart. "There really isn't much to be said. Spike and I are doing well, minimum fighting, lots of talking"  
  
"Any action?" she asked bluntly.  
  
"Not much," she confessed.  
  
"Please tell me he's kissed you." Carlotta practically heard Buffy blushing over the phone. "He better have kissed you good and proper, as only he can."  
  
"Wait a minute. How would you know how well Spike kisses?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Oh, don't worry, honey. It was a dare. We were all drinking at the club one night and Sid said something about Spike's lips being tainted because of all the women he brought to their knees. And like any good drunken woman in love, I defended _my_ man's abilities. So, Spike and I kissed."  
  
"What did you think?"  
  
"I think you are one hell of a lucky woman. Made my toes curl. If I wasn't so god damned in love, who knows? I'm just kidding. When Clem kisses me, everything curls."  
  
"I couldn't be happier for the two of you."  
  
"Thank you, Buffy. And I know things will work out for you and Spike. He's so smitten with you. You should have heard him just now. I will insist however, that Clem and I come to the wedding."  
  
"Wedding?! I think you're jumping the gun a bit there, Carlotta. We aren't even sleeping together."  
  
"Yeah, I can't help but wonder why? Are you crazy or something? Jump his undead ass before someone else does."  
  
"Someone else has already tried."  
  
"I heard. Did you see red?"  
  
"Oh, yeah," Buffy said, shaking her head as those wretched images floated back into her brain. "I promise you though, Carlotta, no matter who I marry, if I do marry, you and Clem will be there."  
  
"Oh, Sweetie, you're such a good girl." Spike's laughter from the other room could be heard through the phone. "Wonder what's so funny."  
  
"Spike's talking to my sister. I can only guess what is being said."  
  
"I'll let you find out. Take care, Buffy. Tell Spike we'll call when we get back to Buenos Aires."  
  
"I will, Carlotta. Enjoy the rest of your trip."  
  
"You too, lovie."  
  
Buffy hung up the phone and walked into the kitchen where Spike was still laughing.  
  
"What did she say?" Buffy asked.  
  
"She said our children will be jackasses. The visual was bloody amusing," Spike answered, smile still spread wide across his face.  
  
Buffy grabbed the phone from Spike. "Dawn, what the hell is he talking about?"  
  
"You guys are so stubborn. I told him I was glad you two couldn't have kids because they would most likely be mules. Buffy giggled slightly at the image as well. Listen, Buffy, why don't we take a trip when this over, the three of us?"  
  
"Excuse me?" Buffy asked. She must have heard wrong.  
  
"Spike and I were thinking about going on a trip when your Slayer stuff is all done and I think you should come with us."  
  
Behind Buffy, Spike stopped laughing and waited for her response.  
  
"Where were you going?" she wanted to know.  
  
"Maybe Buenos Aires, see Clem and his wife and Spike's club, I'm dying to go there!"  
  
"It's great, Dawn, you'll love it. Spike's done a great job. Let's just see how things are after we're through here before we finalize anything, okay?"  
  
"Okay," Dawn agreed happily. Buffy didn't say no, which meant a yes wasn't very far away. "Bye, Buffy. Bye Spike!" she yelled so he could hear her.  
  
"Bye, Bit."  
  
"Bye, Dawnie, keep up the good work." She placed the phone back in its cradle and turned to the vampire still seated on the countertop. "Lots of talking today, huh?"  
  
Spike nodded. "So, what did you and Carlotta talk about?"  
  
Buffy gave him a half smile. "Girl stuff," she replied. "She said they would call once they got back to South America."  
  
"She sounded happy. I'm glad they called."  
  
Buffy hopped up onto the counter next to him. "Me too. So, break anything else while I was gone?" she laughed.  
  
Spike shuddered. "I don't know about you, but I wasn't ready to hear my Nibblet ask about our sex lives."  
  
"She asks me all the time, part of the sister code, must know all about older sister's activities with the men in said sister's life."  
  
"That's fine for you. I tell my girl a lot, but I don't discuss my sex life. I don't even want to know about her sex life. To me, she doesn't have a sex life!" he exclaimed.  
  
Buffy leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. "Don't worry about it, Spike. She's appeased for the moment. Really, we don't have anything to tell anyway."   
  
Both of them sat still, a regretful silence between them. There really wasn't much to tell, was there? Then why did Spike feel like shouting from the rooftops? He turned to his love and smiled. There was plenty to tell. He loved her and she was with him. Whether they had sex was a mute point, well, maybe not mute, but it didn't matter at the moment. He leaned down and kissed her.   
  
Buffy grinned when Spike pulled away. "What was that for?"  
  
"Do I need a reason?"  
  
"Never," she answered before claiming his lips with her own.  
  
Then the telephone rang once more, confounded machine! Spike picked it up reluctantly.  
  
"'Ello...Oh, Travers, you actually called instead of barging in, how thoughtful of you."  
  
"Yes, Mr. Spike, well, I thought I should warn you. My father and his brigade are on their way over."  
  
"What's going on?" Buffy asked Spike. He listened to Colin for a few more minutes before hanging up. He gripped the phone tightly and threw it against the far wall, shattering it into a thousand pieces.  
  
"Spike, what happened?"  
  
He hopped down from the counter and made his way upstairs to Giles's bedroom, Buffy hot on his heels. Spike wrapped on the Watcher's door incessantly until he emerged.  
  
"Spike, what is the meaning-"  
  
"The book, Watcher.  
  
Excuse me? Giles removed his glasses from his face.  
  
The book, the fucking Sanction! It's gone, Rupert. She's got the fucking book!"  
  
  
  
Sure thing, lover. I'll see you when you get home. Cheers.   
  
Leila hung up the phone and began to pace the length of his study. He left earlier that morning not saying much of anything, not saying much of anything on the phone just now either. The previous night went off without a hitch and he was elated, had a breath taking smile on his face the entire night, only fading when replaced with ecstasy. She wasn't at the heist, she was preoccupied with Spike as planned. She growled at the memory of last night. She knew she never had a chance in Hell with Spike, had resigned herself to that, but then the vampire attacked her boss. She _was _with him and he with her. How dare the peroxide blonde suggest he wanted to kill her? It was preposterous, inconceivable and...plain impossible! Then why did it bother her so much? Why did it keep her up last night? Why did it make her cling to her lover all the more?  
  
Because he cares about you, Leila, she told herself. Spike is a lying bastard too caught up with his skinny, slutty Slayer to know anything else.   
He doesn't care about you no matter what he says.  
  
Deep down Leila knew that was probably not true. He cared...some. She saw it in his eyes. No! No, no, let it go, Leila! You know where you belong and with whom you belong. Don't let Spike ruin it for you.  
  
With her determination firmly in place, she flopped down into his chair and placed her feet onto his desk and waited for him to come to her.  
  
  
  
  
Hours were spent with the Council, a sea of black and gray suits whizzed by all muttering slurs of British explicatives Buffy would need to look up later. She'd asked Spike, but he left awhile ago to see the scene of the burglary first hand, try to catch any lingering scents and such. She hoped he would be back soon. She was itching for nightfall; she would patrol with Spike and partake in bloody, face bashing work, anything to find Leila.  
  
No one knew how her men got into the compound or into the giant safe that rivaled any in Las Vegas. The place was a fortress and they slipped in undetected. They didn't even leave a body behind.  
  
It was obviously some sort of magic, Colin surmised.  
  
But, we have taken precautions for that, his father reminded him.  
  
Buffy stood above the layout of the compound in front of her. It just didn't make sense. They had been going over possible weak areas that could have been penetrated. Everything's secure, Buffy agreed. That can only mean one thing.  
  
And what would that mean, Miss Summers? Quentin asked, knocking back the last of his tea.  
  
It was an inside job, she answered plainly.  
  
That is preposterous. I know each and every one of my employees personally. None of them would betray the cause.  
  
Maybe they're just good actors, Buffy quipped.  
  
What you are suggesting is utterly out of the question.  
  
Quentin stood up, followed by his obedient staff. He looked at them, all of their eyes on him, awaiting his next move. None of them would betray him.  
  
If you refuse this, Giles began, then what do you suggest?  
  
I suggest you, your Slayer and the vampire retrieve the book before we all perish, the Watcher replied with a huff. He turned on his heels and left, but not before sending an icy look toward the wayward Slayer.  
  
You'll have to forgive my father. If there's one thing he hates more than demons running amuck, it's descention in the ranks.  
  
And that's why I'm his favorite person, Buffy said sarcastically.  
  
I'm afraid so. Colin took a seat beside Buffy on the sofa. He looked at the diagram and shook his head. Nothing could have prepared Quentin for this. I believe he is getting over confident with his abilities as a leader. He doesn't see what the rest of us do.  
  
And, what would that be, Travers? Spike asked as he entered the room.  
  
Colin looked over at the vampire. He was leaning against the door jam, arms folded across his chest, a rather predatorial look in his eyes. He practically heard the growl that was threatening to emerge from his mouth. Despite their mutual hatred for each other, Colin suspected this particular stance was because of his proximity to Buffy. Poor girl, so misguided. What could she see in that vampire? Every time Colin saw him, he had an urge to wash himself clean.   
  
Well, Mr. Spike, I'm sure you are aware that my father is not always well liked. Buffy snorted at the obvious statement. Many would turn on him given the chance.  
  
Could you give me any names? Giles asked.  
  
I could give you several, the young Watcher confessed. It was the truth, no use denying it. His father was not always a nice man, not always a nice father either.  
  
It might be a start, Buffy suggested, looking at Colin.   
  
Very well, he replied glumly. He gave Buffy a half hearted smile and instantly felt Spike's eyes bore into him. Well, I see it is time for me to leave. I'll go through some files back at my office and ring you with the names. Mr. Giles, good to see you. Buffy, always a pleasure. He left the room, bumping into Spike's shoulder as he walked by.   
  
Spike growled as he slumped onto the sofa, taking Colin's place, and pulled out a cigarette. He didn't light up, just let the cylinder dangle from his mouth.  
  
Someday, you'll have to tell me why you detest that man so much, Buffy said, lifting her feet up underneath her and turning into Spike.  
  
Never was a set reason, love. I don't like him. I don't like the way he looks and I don't like the way he smells. Buffy raised a questioning eyebrow. He's too clean, it bothers me, he replied with a shrug. So, what did the tweed coats have to say for themselves?  
  
Nothing much really. Colin says it was magic and Quentin didn't like that or the fact I said it was an inside job.  
  
What do we do now?  
  
Giles stood and retrieved the printed pages of the Sanction from a desk drawer. These bloody things, he mumbled. Shamus and I have been over them and we still can't find out the appropriate date. There are so many references to it, but nothing concrete. It seems the Fates are purposefully misguiding us.  
  
Maybe they are.   
  
  
  
  
  
This is a much lighter chapter than the last one huh? I really wanted to bring Carlotta and Clem back. I love Clem! But, now we're gearing up for some Spuffy goodness! Next chapter is heading your way soon.


	20. The Look Of Love

Disclaimer: To dream the impossible dream. Here I am fighting the windmill. In other words, I own nothing.  
  
Distribution: If you want it, please ask me first.  
  
RECAP: Last time in Perhaps... Spike and Buffy took a leap forward in their relationship after another Leila encounter. They had several telephone conversations with Dawn, Carlotta and Clem, all of which revolved around the blossoming relationship. The Sanction prophecy was stolen from the Council and it looks like an inside job. And Leila is beginning to doubt the intentions of her lover and boss.  
  
A/N: Sorry guys, this was a long time coming. I lost my computer for almost two whole weeks due to illness and I just got it back thank God!  
Please REVIEW and tell me what you think! Updates will be much more regular now that I have the computer back on my desk where it belongs. Enough of me.  
Oh, I wanted to spread some joy. I saw Nicholas Brendon yesterday! Seriously, I lost my knee caps, no feeling below them. But, I have an autograph so who needs to walk?  
Enjoy!  
  
  
  
  
Chapter 16: The Look Of Love  
Maybe the Fates are against us, O'Malley stated as he appeared in the room.  
  
When did you get back? Spike asked. I thought you were going to your shop.  
  
I did, William, I did. Nothing there, but rubbish. The leprechaun hopped up onto a nearby ottoman and removed his pipe from his pocket. As he packed his tobacco, he stared at the Slayer. She shifted underneath his scrutiny, but he continued to look at her eyes. You've had another dream, have you not?  
  
How did you know that? she wondered, briefly looking to Spike and Giles.   
  
They did not have to say a thing, Buffy, I saw it in your face. What did you see?  
  
Buffy stood abruptly and began to walk the room. I-I don't want to talk about it. I don't think it was a Slayer dream...exactly, she lied. I wasn't in the field this time. I was here and... her voice trailed off as she swallowed hard.   
  
Buffy, you really must tell us, Giles insisted. This change in location could be vital for all we know.  
  
The memory of the dream was harsh. She didn't want to divulge the details to the men before her, how much she was in pain, how no one could help her, her mother's appearance, the loss of Spike. The pain was worse when she heard him scream. Unbidden tears slowly made their descent down her face. La Nasckita, Buffy choked.  
  
What was that, pet?   
  
Buffy turned around and found Spike standing beside her. She stepped away from him and faced O'Malley. I remember my sister saying La Nasckita in my dream. What does that mean?  
  
O'Malley puffed on his pipe and concentrated. I'm not sure, he lied.  
  
I thought you knew this language.  
  
I do, but I do not recognize the word. Perhaps it is a bastardization of another word. That was the truth and O'Malley did know the word. He wasn't about to tell her what it meant until he heard more about her dream. Lass, tell us the dream; it may make more sense.  
  
Buffy wiped the tears away from her face as more fell. She felt Spike come up behind her.   
  
He reached out to touch her shoulder, but she stepped away and flopped onto the sofa, her head in her hands.  
  
It hurt, okay? she snapped. She raised her watery eyes to the vampire. You know that. You saw me afterwards.  
  
That I did, pet. Doesn't mean that you shouldn't tell us. He crossed his arms over his chest and waited for her.  
  
Nice show of compassion, she sneered.  
  
Has nothing to do with compassion, Summers. I'm not going to coddle you and I don't think you want me to.  
  
Listen, Buffy, Giles interjected, we need something to go on here. I know it might have been painful, but-  
  
Might?! Might have been painful? Buffy shouted. I thought I was going to be ripped in two. I was crying out to all my friends and people I knew and no one could hear me. You all just stared at me. No one answered my questions, only my mother. My mother was there...and she kissed me and...told me I was going to be all right. She sobbed as she tried to take in air. Memories of her mother's gentle touch and loving words filled her mind. God, how she missed her!  
  
Buffy again met Spike's gaze. And you weren't there. I couldn't find you. Mom said you'd be back, but I didn't believe her. All I could was try not to move because it hurt so much, the spasms, the lump in my throat. And then there you were standing in the doorway, Leila was right behind you, like your shadow. As soon as she touched you, you collapsed. I called out to you, but you didn't move. Leila just stared at me and slammed the door shut. I turned to Dawn and she pointed to a book in Giles's hand and said La Nasckita. And then I heard you scream; it was awful.   
  
She stood up, walked to Spike and rested her forehead on his shoulder. Spike placed a hand at the small of her back and took one of Buffy's hands in his other. Both of them momentarily ignored the other two in the room. Neither cared that they were exposing their relationship with each other to the Watcher and the leprechaun. I thought you were dead, again, Buffy whispered. She pulled away slightly and faced the silent men.  
  
So, that's the dream. The latest in the over active mind of Buffy Summers. Lots of pain, no one to help me and wow, what a shocker, I lost someone. Does that help you in your translation? she asked O'Malley.  
  
Oddly enough, I think I will help. If you excuse me, I'll be in the loft. With that, the man vanished to the upstairs. Things did make much more sense now, but he still wouldn't tell them anything just yet. Who was he to stand in the way of destiny? The Powers That Be had their plan and he knew when to keep his mouth shut.  
  
Buffy looked to her former Watcher, who was cleaning his glasses. Thank you, Buffy, he said, putting his glasses in their proper place. He cleared his throat and looked at the vampire and the Slayer. It will be dark soon. You will patrol, check with all the snitches we have. Leila has the book; she and her boss now know everything, we know half. Buffy, you said this event would take place soon. We need to know where. O'Malley and I shall work, try to narrow down a few locations that match your description, however vague it is, it is all we have to go on. The Watcher left and joined the leprechaun in the loft.   
  
The two blondes just stood there, eyes wandering everywhere, but to each other's faces. Neither knew what to say. Spike wanted to say it was just a dream, but he knew it wasn't true. It meant something, maybe he was going to leave her alone. He would never do it intentionally, but it could happen.  
  
Buffy couldn't take his silence any longer. She didn't know what he was thinking, probably sorry for her. She walked out of the living room and headed to the small balcony off of the kitchen. The sun was still out; he couldn't follow her.  
  
But, he did. As she looked out on the seemingly peaceful neighborhood, she felt the familiar tingle at the back of head intensify. He was standing in the doorway, just beyond the sun's reach, watching the tension ripple through her muscles.  
  
Buffy turned to the vampire, her eyes red and sparkling. She sniffed and searched his face. She saw love, _his_ love, pouring out of his eyes as he stood there. No, he didn't say it, but he had a familiar look in blue depths, probably wasn't even aware it was there. She adored that abandoned gaze, leaving her with no doubt of his feelings, the look of love.  
  
It doesn't matter, he said softly.  
  
Buffy raised her chin slightly, wanting to keep her glassy eyes from his strong gaze. She quickly gasped for air through her constricted throat.  
  
It doesn't matter what you dreamt, how many times you dreamt it, you need to know I will do whatever needs to be done to stay here...with you.  
  
That's what I'm afraid of, she choked out. In seconds, she as in his   
arms, clutching to his shirt. Tears did not fall, but her body shuddered as she tried to breathe properly. Spike just let her release the tension that built up inside of her, stroked her head and kissed the top of her head, never said anything.  
  
When she calmed down, Buffy pulled away and rubbed her nose with the back of her hand. She looked up Spike, a shy smile spread on her lips. You'd think with all the emotional outbursts I've had lately, I'd remember to have tissues. She tried to laugh, but it came out tight. She blinked her eyes several times before settling them onto the vampire. So, ready to patrol?  
  
Spike shook his head. She was trying to brave; whether it was for his benefit or for her own was debatable. She was already back in the house before he could even respond to her. He would not let her slip into denial, but if she wanted to go kill a few demons, who was he to say no? They'd fight some demons, try to find Leila, maybe do some talking, or bantering. But, she wasn't going to hide from him.  
  
  
  
  
The cemetery was cold, a light frost covered the tops of the headstones and the dying grass beneath their feet. For a long time, the only sounds the pair heard were the crunching of the crisp ground and the wind flying through the trees. They had been out for a few hours, visiting all the cemeteries they could, even the old historical ones. Spike said it was a popular gathering place for vamps. So, they walked and they fought, none of the demons put up a good fight, most just ran. The chase fueled Buffy's blood, heating her chilled extremities. But, then the vampires were dust all too quickly and she was cold again, her pink cheeks a mixture of flush and windburn.  
  
Spike silently witnessed her struggle with the elements, mildly amused because it wasn't actually very cold outside. She'd never survive an English winter if this weather bothered her. She liked bright Californian mornings or the Buenos Aires balmy nights. He doubted she even saw snow more than a handful of times which was too bad in his opinion. He could picture his Slayer all bundled up in thick sweaters, rosy complexion, snowflakes clinging to her flowing hair and to her full eyelashes as she ran through the gentle storm with him hot on her heels. He could hear her laughter cut through the night as he tackled her, rolling the two of them in piles of snow. Spike's smile reached his eyes at these wonderful thoughts, wanting more than anything to see them come true.  
  
Wh-what's with the smile? Buffy asked through her chattering teeth.  
  
His smile diminished slightly. There was no way she would want to stay here. Her shuddering shoulders were convincing. If she couldn't be in England with him, where would they end up? Their lives were continents apart!  
  
Buffy chattered.   
  
Spike's eyes focused on Buffy's small form. He reached out and began rubbing her arms up and down, the friction creating warmth.  
  
Buffy moved closer to his chest as he continued to warm her. God, if she wasn't so bloody cold, she would venture creating a different kind of friction. Did she just say bloody? She was spending too much time in England, or maybe just with Spike. She looked up at him and smiled her thanks. There was no too much time when it came to Spike, not lately atleast. Nothing would ever be perfect between them and she didn't want it to be. They would need space sometimes; that was only natural. Speaking of space, where were they going to live? Would he want to move into her house? There was plenty of room, just her and Dawn. Wait, was that moving too fast? He's spent so many years living alone. Well, he did live with Giles now. There's a thought! Was he going to come back with her? Did he expect her to stay with him?  
  
Buffy love? Spike noticed a far away look in Buffy's eyes. At first it was happy, but then turned questioning as she chewed on her bottom lip. You in there?   
  
Buffy blinked. Huh? Yeah. I'm right here. Here is where I am.  
  
Rrright. Feel any better?  
  
Buffy nuzzled Spike's neck and inhaled his scent, just like she did when she still had his duster. Yeah, I'm better, she sighed.  
  
Spike rested his hands at the small of her back and kissed her temple. Ready for another go?  
  
she whispered in contentment, wanting nothing more than to have another with her vamp.  
  
Then come on.  
  
Spike pulled away from Buffy and started to walk quickly out of the cemetery.  
  
What, right now?! she squealed as she ran to catch up to him.  
  
If we don't get moving, we could miss her, love.  
  
Buffy stared blankly at Spike. What was he talking about? In her fantasy there was never any other   
  
Leila, Buffy. Remember the crazy lil chit we're looking for? Why we are out here checking every friggin' cemetery we can find.  
  
The light bulb went off in Buffy's head and she blushed. I know, I know. It's...just the weather. I-I think it's getting to me, she stammered as she pushed back her disappointment.  
  
You are such a California girl, he remarked with a half grin. He turned and continued to walk out into the street.  
  
Well, it's the only place I've ever lived, Buffy defended. she added quickly, you'd be surprised how adaptable I can be.  
  
Spike whipped his head around, surprise on his face. She just smiled triumphantly and quickened her pace. Did she just read his mind?  
  
You're slowing me down, vampire, Buffy shouted at the stilled Spike.   
  
He snapped out of his shock and jogged to her side just as she stifled a yawn. Tired, pet?  
  
she answered. I wish I could go home and sleep. Spike hid his happiness at her use of the word Maybe if I sleep, I'll have another dream and we could end this. Buffy huffed her frustration into the night. I hate it. They're going to win. The words keep running through my mind no matter how I try to stop them. We're usually ahead of the game, but right now I just feel like a bench warmer. If I don't have a dream, the only other hope we have is Leila herself.  
  
What do you mean, pet?  
  
Buffy shrugged. It's something I've been thinking about. She might not mean to, but I think she will tip us off. She'll come to you, just wish I knew when.  
  
The vampire pulled out a trusty cigarette, lit it and deeply inhaled before responding to Buffy. Forgive me if I'm doubtful. After the other night's shenanigans, I don't think Leila gives two shits about what happens to me.  
  
On the contrary, Spike. You planted that seed of doubt in her head.  
  
Spike flicked his ashes to the ground and thought. Leila was very agitated when he mentioned her boss's hidden agenda. Hopefully, she listened.  
  
I think she did. Even if she didn't believe you, I bet she'll be back to prove you wrong. She is still a teenager after all. Plus, in my dreams, I'm not scared of her, I feel bad for her. Right now, I don't care. Something needs to happen for her to earn any sympathy from me. I can't explain it, but...it's just a feeling.  
  
And I've learned to trust your feelings. Spike stubbed out his cigarette and stared at the ground. Buffy, I- He stopped himself.   
  
What is it? He looked nervous and Buffy's heart started to beat faster. Damn, he was going to pick up on that. She couldn't help thinking, though, that he was going to tell her, finally tell her he loved her. God, if he did, she knew she couldn't guarantee to keep from melting into a Buffy sized puddle on the grass.  
  
He looked at her, heard her heart beat. Why was she nervous or was she scared? She knew. She knew what he was going to say and it scared her. And that scared him. Nothing. Let's go, love. He took her hand and led her into the next cemetery.  
  
  
  
He wants me. He wants me. He wants me, she chanted in her head.   
  
Leila was waiting for him. She heard him come in not that long ago. She quickly undressed and slipped into their bed, draping the white sheet across her body. She leaned back against the head board and took a deep breath. She could hear him moving around downstairs, but he would be up there soon. Part of her was excited her lover was home and the other part, one that grew larger every hour, was worried. Spike's words still haunted her Gemini minds. She didn't want to think traitorous thoughts about her companion. He was so good to her, always had been.  
  
The first time she saw him, she dismissed him, just a human, nothing spectacular, not like her Spike. Spike was something else entirely, as much of a contradiction as she. No normal human could do it for her.  
  
The second time she saw him was different. He found her on the outside, knew what she was capable of, but didn't back down. He actually approached her, conversed with her. It was then Leila saw a spark in his eyes, the way he addressed her; she was hooked.  
  
He hid her for a short time, said he wanted to help her.  
  
  
  
~*~*~  
  
  
Why do you want to help me?  
  
Why did you follow me here? he countered.  
  
Leila shrugged and flounced onto his couch. I don't know. Desperation, curiosity? Maybe I like you.  
  
He smiled, displaying perfect teeth. Sounds about right. I do like you, Leila, and I know how to help you. But, I need you to answer one question for me. Can we trust each other? He held out his hand to her.   
  
She looked at it skeptically. Deep down she knew promises amounted to a pile of shit. She was unpredictable, by definition not to be trusted. She stood up and placed her hands on her hips. I could kill you right now, she said, her voice deep and menacing. She cocked her head to the side and smirked. But, you know that, don't you?  
  
Yes, I do, but I have a feeling you won't, he said matter-of-factly.  
  
What makes you so certain? Leila stepped into him, her violet eyes piercing his coffee brown orbs.  
  
He bent his head down so their noses touched. I think you want someone to help you. You've been alone for so long, no hope in sight. I'm going to give you that hope.  
  
What's in it for you? she asked the vital question.  
  
Just some sweet revenge.  
  
There was a word Leila understood. She liked that word, liked the concept and she liked the man, a lot.  
  
  
  
~*~*~  
  
  
  
Hours later, she was in his bed, no longer a virgin nor a stranger to the intense pleasure he gave her. He was patient and as gentle as he could be with her. They had no regrets, not a one. They were open and honest with each other about everything. He knew about her obsession with William the Bloody, a topic that spurred him into a passionate frenzy. He didn't like hearing about him and Leila enjoyed antagonizing him, knowing he would kiss her senseless just to shut her up.  
  
Her thoughts were interrupted by a soft squeak as the door swung open. There he stood, his tie hanging loosely down his half unbuttoned shirt. Leila sat up straight, her dark tresses sweeping her pale body. Good evening, he whispered with a sly smile across his lips.  
  
Leila felt a warm flutter in the pit of her stomach. Hey, lover. What took you?  
  
He closed the door, threw his tie to the floor and made his way to her side. Didn't keep you waiting long I hope? He reached out and ran his fingers down the side of her face.  
  
Leila smiled at his touch and she slowly began to undo his shirt. Mmhmm. But, I knew you would make it up to me.   
  
I think I can do that, love. He tossed his shirt and laid Leila on her back. He pulled the sheet away, revealing her in all her splendor. He bent down and kissed her softly, teasing her full lips. He trailed a path down her face to her neck, gently sucking on her skin.  
  
Leila released a hearty moan as his fingertips passed over her rosy nipples, eliciting immediate attention. She was always amazed at her reaction to him. As soon as she saw him, she wanted him. The mere sound of his voice made her weak with need. Maybe because he was an amazing lover. He was her first and only, but she knew he was something special.   
  
He was her partner. How could she ever doubt him?  
  
Her thoughts were interrupted when she felt his hand slide down her stomach. God, she loved this, not him, but being with him. Her hips surged up to meet his hand.   
  
He cared about her pleasure. Sometimes, it was just a quick fuck, but most of the time he did make love to her, kissing and caressing all the right places. She thought he reveled in the fact that he was her only lover, the only one who knew her secrets, knew what would make her quiver so intensely he could barely move without having her need more.  
  
How could he turn on her? Why would he turn on her? She'd done everything for him, helping him get his revenge. Or was _she_ the revenge? Did he really want her powers? Would he kill her for them?  
  
Oh, God, she gasped as his warm tongue laved at her breast. His fingers were now moving fast inside of her. When did that happen? Leila needed to stop thinking and just feel.  
  
How could he be so loving one moment and ruthless the next? How could she for that matter? She was crazy, not to be trusted. What was his excuse?  
  
  
  
  
Buffy dusted herself of a newly risen vampire's remains and walked over to Spike who was watching her from a nearby headstone.  
  
Nothing here either, Buffy mumbled as she hopped onto the stone next to him.  
  
Waiting for Leila's supposed slip-up seems to be the way we're headed, Spike said as he flicked away the butt of his cigarette. Otherwise we're just wandering around aimlessly.  
  
That about sums it up. I wish I could go back to this morning. I wish we never answered the phone.  
  
Answering the phone or not, love, wouldn't have prevented the Council from losing the book.  
  
It wasn't completely their fault, Spike. But, now that I think about it, she began, a smile slowly spreading across her lips, if we never answered the phone, then I wouldn't have heard about you and Carlotta.  
  
Spike stared at her curiously Her eyes were laughing at him. Me and Carlotta?  
  
She said you kissed her.  
  
Spike looked away with a sly smile. Yeah, I did, but it was with permission. And she kissed back.  
  
She said it was a dare.  
  
It was one of the best dares I've ever participated in.  
  
She as good a kisser as she is a dancer?  
  
Clem is a very lucky man, Spike admitted, stepping down from the headstone to face Buffy. But, I'm luckier, he said in a deep low voice.  
  
He pressed his lips to hers in a kiss much more gentle and loving than his throaty admission indicated. It was familiar and welcoming.  
  
Buffy smiled as she felt her toes curl and delightful flutters all over her body. Her tongue ran along his bottom lip, not for access, just to taste his soft skin. So soft after so many years on this Earth.  
  
Spike placed his hands on either side of Buffy and stood between her legs, effectively trapping her. She snaked her arms around his neck and pulled him roughly to her, wrapping her legs around his waist.   
  
Spike thanked whomever was watching over him for this woman. They fit so perfectly together. And to think, if it hadn't been for the vapid chit Cecily, he never would have met Dru and he never would have died. And if he never died, he never would have met Buffy. It was Fate.  
  
He held her close, the beat of her heart banging against his still body. He parted her lips and caressed the inside of her mouth. A slight purr rumbled through his chest and he and Buffy both smiled into each other at the contented sound.  
  
She was lucky, she was _really_ lucky. No one ever made her feel this good, this complete. He made her feel loved, gave her something she'd been longing for, a partner and an equal.  
  
He was hers, but more importantly, she was his. He had to know.  
  
At that realization, Buffy abruptly pulled away.  
  
What's wrong? Spike wanted to know.  
  
I want to go somewhere, she said.  
  
Another cemetery?  
  
She rolled her eyes at him. No, not a cemetery. Which way is the Thames?  
  
  
  
She felt her orgasm coming as she tried to just concentrate on his ministrations. She cried out his name as ecstasy hit her. He placed kisses on her face, her breath ragged against his skin. He quickly divested himself of the rest of his clothing and positioned himself back between her parted thighs.   
  
They locked eyes. Leila's hooded gaze made him happy. She looked so beautiful beneath him and this was to be their last evening together. He would have come up sooner, but he wasn't ready to see her yet. Now that he was there with her...he still wasn't ready to let her go. But, that was a thought for tomorrow.  
  
He slowly slid himself inside, her warmth engulfed him. he sighed.  
  
She wrapped her legs around him, drawing him further into her depths. She felt so complete with him inside of her. They stayed like that for a while, basking in their contentment. She was relaxed, her tension washed away, but her confusion remained. She kissed his face and his shoulders. He laughed as her touch tickled his warm skin. That sound brought Leila more sadness than any of her lonely nights at the Council.  
  
What was he thinking about?   
  
Dread filled her as she tangled her fingers in his hair.   
  
She couldn't trust him.  
  
What was she going to now?  
  
She kissed him again as he began to move above her. His tongue moved inside her mouth as he quickly thrusted deep and hard inside of her.   
  
She ripped her mouth way from him and cried, Oh, Colin!


	21. Fate and Devotion

A/N: Thank you to all my readers. I love you all and thanks for the reviews, lots of smiles! Hope you like the chapter. Let me know in other words, REVIEW please:)  
Greetings! You are now entering SPUFFY CITY. Enjoy your stay!  
  
Chapter 17: Fate and Devotion   
  
  
They stood on the Winchester Bridge gazing at the street lights as they danced on the River Thames. It was relatively quiet, only the sound of cars and the whistle of wind as it ran across the water.  
  
Buffy was transfixed by the sight of Big Ben. She always dreamt of standing in that exact spot; she had to see it before the impending battle.  
  
What do you think, love? Spike asked, leaning against the railing.  
  
Buffy shoved her hands into the pockets of her jeans, her eyes never leaving the clock face. It's beautiful, she sighed. Must be something to hear it ring from this spot.  
  
Spike nodded. You'll hear it, he assured her.  
  
Buffy turned and slowly made her way closer to the land. It's not fair, she whined.  
  
Spike snorted. Life's not fair, pet. Care to expand on which part you mean?  
  
Everything. This. You. Me. Us. Not fair. Just when I thought things were going to work out to my liking, the PTBs wreak havoc with my life.  
  
Spike followed behind her, hoping she would get to the point sooner rather than later. He was glad for their circumstance. It brought her back to him.  
  
I've taken so much shit from this world and I selfishly wish it would give something back, she grumbled.   
  
You think this world never gave you anything?! he snapped at her.  
  
Buffy stopped and faced Spike, a regretful look plain on her features. No. I know it has. I just-I want- Urgghhh! Nevermind. She continued walking.  
  
No, tell me. You just? You want?  
  
She faced the water and placed both her hands on the rail; Spike copied her position next to her. Buffy pulled her eyes from the inky water and looked at the clock, always steady, shining in the night above her. How long had it been standing there? It watched the people below and those same people looked up at the clock, were guided by it. A symbol of time that was running away. No matter what those people did, their time would run out, but the clock would remain, remain to see more faces of men and women and children. See foreigners like herself who came into view its wonder and go home.  
  
I want home, she said, still looking up at the beacon.  
  
Spike looked at her profile. You have a home, love.  
  
That's not what I mean. Buffy looked at Spike, her face calm. I don't mean a house. I want home, to feel safe and cared for. To feel free and love and be loved. Spike, I want you. You are my home.  
  
Spike eyebrows shot up so quickly Buffy thought they would fly off his face.   
  
Buffy laughed and ran her finger through his curls. The look on his face was priceless, like a kid who just saw the presents under the Christmas tree. She leaned in a kissed him softly. Spike, I love you. I don't want to be anywhere or with anyone else, but with you.  
  
Spike didn't say anything for a full minute. He just stared, mouth agape at Buffy. This was a night of revelations. He was her home? She loved him?! He blinked his eyes as Buffy's hand passed in front of it.  
  
Spike? Did you hear what I said?  
  
I hope I did.   
  
Buffy smiled as her hand cupped his cheek. You heard me. I love you, William, Spike, I love all of you.  
  
Spike grabbed the woman and pulled her into a passionate kiss. He held her tightly to him, afraid she'd disappear or change her mind. They pulled apart slightly; their lips still lingered. Spike couldn't contain his laughter.  
  
What's so funny? Buffy asked with a chuckle of her own.  
  
I love you too, he said.  
  
Buffy stepped back to observe him. And that's funny?  
  
He laughed again. Not in the slightest. He reached out and took her hand and kissed it. You love me?   
  
And you love me?  
  
Always have, always will; it'll always be you. I'm yours. You've had me for years, Buffy, and I never wanted to be anywhere else either.  
  
Buffy felt tears spring to her eyes. She never realized how much she wanted to hear those words until now. This isn't as scary as I thought it was going to be, she admitted. I-I couldn't say it, couldn't tell you because of my dreams. I thought maybe I should wait until after we took care of Leila.  
  
What changed your mind?  
  
You did. I couldn't be around you without wanting to say it or scream it. I love you. I love you! she declared again, happiness shining all over her beautiful face. It was so easy to say it, so natural. I want you and I want to be with you. When this is over, I'm not leaving your side.  
  
I don't think I could let you.   
  
Spike was having trouble saying anything. For once he was at a loss. All he could hear were her words of love running on a reel in his mind. She loved him. She was in love with him, no one else. Him, the soulless vampire. She loved all of him.  
  
His speechless state just made Buffy smile even more. She couldn't possibly feel more wonderful than she did in that moment. It felt so right; it was fate.  
  
She ran her fingers along his cheekbones and his jawline. His fingers tentatively touched her face. She turned and gently pressed a kiss to his tips before leaning into his lips. She tangled her fingers into his platinum curls and deepened the kiss.  
  
Spike held her close, molding their bodies together. He was finally coming out of his stupor and slipped his tongue into her inferno of a mouth. So hot and tantalizing. Her small form against him, clinging to him. He plundered her mouth, and she returned with equal fervor.  
  
Buffy snaked her arms down inside of his jacket, her hands caressing the muscles in his back. She moaned as Spike's cold hands made their way underneath her jacket and the hem of her shirt.   
  
She broke the kiss and took in air. She looked up at Spike, his eyes now darkened with desire. She grabbed both his hands and whispered in his ear, I think we need to go home now.  
  
Spike released a deep throated chuckle. I know a short cut.   
  
  
  
  
What are you smiling at? Giles asked O'Malley. You've had a preoccupied look on your face the entire evening. Do you know something I do not?  
  
O'Malley laughed. I know many things you do not know, Rupert. I was just merely wondering how things were going with Buffy and William.  
  
Giles looked at the clock on the mantle. They have been gone for a very long time. Perhaps, they discovered a lead.  
  
  
  
I do hope they come home soon so we can tell them our news, Giles said with a thread of sarcasm.  
  
O'Malley just nodded. It was good news. Earlier that evening, O'Malley and Giles made a list of everything they knew about the prophecy, trying to find anything they overlooked. It was then the leprechaun realized the site of the prophecy was to the West. There several sites that matched Buffy's dreams, but O'Malley gathered this second Destino Malanto was going to commence in a location similar to the first. It wasn't the best news, but it was better than having no idea whatsoever.   
  
We have a vague idea of where it is going to take place. I suppose we just watch the skies of the next several evenings and wait until we see the night electrify, Giles said sarcastically before sipping his much needed cup of coffee. His eyelids threatened to close every ten seconds as he waited for the wonderful drug of caffeine to kick in. But, he wanted to wait up for Buffy and Spike and hear how patrol went.   
  
O'Malley laughed at the Watcher. If only Rupert knew what he knew. Shamus O'Malley knew when the night would be; he just needed to wait for the signal.  
  
Just then, the two men heard the front door slam. They looked out into the hallway and saw a blur of blondes dash up the stairs. They never stopped to say hello or goodnight, just ran to their room and shut the door, _one_ door.  
  
Giles and O'Malley shared blank looks on their faces as they tried to ignore several thuds coming from above.  
  
Giles cleared his throat. was all he managed to say.  
  
Yes, quite, O'Malley returned.  
  
I suppose things went well on patrol.  
  
O'Malley looked up to the ceiling. From the sound of things, very well.  
  
  
  
  
Buffy and Spike stumbled into Spike's bedroom, boots toed off, hands groping everywhere, lips attaching to any skin they could find. Buffy slammed Spike against the door as she feverishly tried to removed his jacket and unbutton his shirt. Spike inwardly laughed at her haste. He let her fumble while he concentrated on nibbling her lips.  
  
When he tried to remove Buffy's jacket, she pushed him away and released a growl of her own. With the outer layer removed, she ripped open his shirt.  
  
Spike exclaimed. I liked the shirt.  
  
You like me more, Buffy said coyly, not stopping for an instant as she attacked his belt buckle. Spike couldn't argue with her logic so he lifted his arms as Buffy tugged the leather strap from his body and threw it to the floor along with her offending jacket. She looked at Spike's disheveled appearance and smiled as she leaned in to recapture his swollen lips. She knew she was moving quickly, but she couldn't wait anymore. She wanted him so badly, wanted desperately to be with the man she loved.  
  
Buffy's hands were running over Spike's muscular chest, nails gently scraping his skin. Her tips trailed down and rested on the tops of his jeans. She pulled his hips forward; Spike groaned at the contact.   
  
He was getting frustrated now; she was still fully clothed and still very much the aggressor. This needed to change now.  
  
Spike grabbed Buffy by the shoulders and pushed her away from him. She stared at him, panting through her confusion. What was wrong with him?   
  
She watched as he slowly slipped the remnants of his tattered shirt off his shoulders and let it tumble to the floor. His eyes locked with hers and held them as he slipped his arms around her waist and lifted her off her feet. For a moment, he did nothing, but lose himself in her green eyes, ablaze with lust. He watched the rise and fall of her breasts, relishing the slight friction of her covered bounty against his body.  
  
Spike stepped to his bed and placed her down onto the mattress. He fingered the hem of her shirt before silently pulling it over her head. He kneeled on the bed and placed butterfly kisses on her forehead, her nose, chin and down the column of her throat.   
  
Her breath became ragged at this languid pace. She didn't try to regain control from him, just let the cool sensations of his touch wash over her. It was new for Buffy, for them. Spike was never like this before. Always attentive, yes, but this was beyond that. She felt his hands glide across her skin, skating along every cure; his touch was pure satin and she found herself wondering why she never noticed before. Because you didn't want it gentle, Buffy, she reminded herself. You wouldn't have let him do this. He was adoring her, loving her, and every inch of her being was trembling.   
  
Spike moved to unhook the front clasp of her bra. he stared at her bare breasts for a moment; they seemed to have gotten slightly bigger. How did he miss that before? No problem there, he thought. All the more for me to play with. Brushing aside the lacy material, he covered one erect nipple with his mouth.   
  
Buffy gasped at the cool air of the room and the icy touch of Spike's mouth on her sensitive skin. She wound her fingers through his hair and arched into him. He moved lower and trailed a path along the underside of her breast, warm and already slightly moist with sweat. His tongue swept back up to her rosy peak, sucking and rolling the sweet bud in his coolness. His teeth grazed and nipped and tantalized all over before turning to lavish her other breast.   
  
She was Heaven, tasted like vanilla and her sighs of pleasure tickled his senses like champagne bubbles.  
  
Spike removed his mouth, avoiding Buffy's tiny hands as the reached out for him. Spike just smiled as he leaned back to undo her button fly jeans and pulled them down her legs. She was so beautiful, just they way he remembered her. He knew her body by heart, every ticklish area, every freckle, and every scar. He ran his fingers along the inside of her tanned calf followed by a soft open mouth kiss. He pressed his kisses up her legs and over the tops of her thighs before hooking his fingers around the thin straps of her underwear. Moving them downwards, he brushed his lips over her hip, tarrying to nibble on the protruding bone. He lifted his eyes to her and gave her a devilish grin right before he tore the scrap of cloth away from her.  
  
You tear mine, I'll tear yours, he said simply. He bent down and peppered kisses over her abdomen. Equal, right?   
  
Buffy nodded as she reached down to pull him up for a kiss. She cradled him between her thighs, delighting in the feel of his hard length against her. She bucked her hips into him, each sharing in a moan. She felt Spike's fingers brush her clit and swiftly delve into her heat.  
  
Oh, God, she gasped. She missed this contrast of hot and cold. Somehow no other man could ever compare to her Spike; it never felt as right or as satisfying as it did with the vampire. Hot and cold won every time.  
  
As his pace began to quicken, the feeling the pit of her stomach grew. Too soon, way too soon. Not like this. she said mumbled into Spike's mouth.  
  
At the sound of that simple word, Spike quickly pulled away from Buffy, confusion in his eyes. Did he do something wrong? Was he rushing her? Old insecurities flew back into his mind.  
  
Buffy reached out to touch his face. She saw the look in his eyes and she knew what he was thinking; she cursed herself for putting that look on his face. I love you, she whispered, looking straight into his blue orbs. I want to be with you; you never have to doubt that. I didn't mean to scare you. I just wanted- I meant- I didn't want to-  
  
Spike translated Buffy's stammer and relaxed with the realization. He pressed a finger to her lips, silencing her. I love you too.  
  
Buffy pulled at the belt loops of his jeans. Then show me, she grinned.  
  
Spike grinned back at her as he stood to remove his jeans. His entire pale form shone like silver in the moonlight. Buffy unconsciously held her breath at the site before her. She dreamt of it, the perfection of his body, but dreams were a poor substitute for the real thing.   
  
He crawled over her, settling himself between her open legs. He felt the heat of her desire before he even entered her and he thought he would lose all control as her scent of arousal hit him once again. He slid inside of her, stretching, filling her. No matter how many women he slept with since Buffy, which wasn't that many, they never burned him, consumed him the way Buffy did. They were a perfect fit. Both of them had smiling eyes as Spike began to move inside of her. Buffy matched his slow tempo, never rushing. She was looking forward to doing this all night long.  
  
So many nights he slept alone. Even with a woman beside him, he was alone. More often than not, he would fall asleep with her on his mind, wondering what she was doing, was she happy with the man asleep in her bed. He dreamed of her, being with her again, but his imagination failed to capture the intense feelings inside of him right now. Nothing compared to knowing she truly loved him, he could never fully comprehend such an idea. But, as he's always believed, love as has little to do with the mind.   
  
Wasted years, so much time she could have been with him, by his side, in his arms, morning after morning rolling over and snuggling into his embrace. She wasn't going to make the same mistake again, never, of that she was certain. No one could ever love her the way he did and vice versa. No one ever created these feelings inside of her and she had never been with someone with whom she shared so much. He knew everything about her and he was still in love with her, after five years, never stopped loving her.  
  
Oh, God, Spike! she gasped as his fingers stroked her clit. She clutched his shoulders tightly, knowing it wouldn't be long now.  
  
Spike thrusted deep inside of her faster and faster. He buried his face in the crook of her neck as he felt himself near the edge. Buffy threw her head back, exposing more of her throat to him. His blunt teeth scraped her pulse points; Spike could almost taste her sweet blood through her skin and fought to remain in his human face.  
  
Do it, she moaned, feeling his need to have her, all of her.  
  
Spike ignored her words and thrusted harder and harder through his bloodlust.  
  
Buffy cried out in pleasureful pain as his pelvis repeatedly smacked hers. Do it, she whispered again.  
  
Spike was losing his control. He felt her inner walls fluttering, tightening around him and her pleas weren't helping the matter. He wanted it so badly, but he hadn't bitten anyone in ages. What if it was only a heat of the moment decision? She had no idea what she was asking for, for him to mark her. Did she know?  
  
Buffy pulled his face down to her neck and held him there, stroking his soft tendrils at the nape of his neck. She could barely speak through her gasps for breath. She was holding out for him, for him to claim her. she managed to say.  
  
At her declaration, Spike vamped out and sank his fangs into Buffy's supple skin.  
  
she cried as her orgasm took her over. Part of her life was flowing into his mouth, gently sucked away from her, the most blissful step in their dance.  
  
The rush of her blood and those incredible Slayer muscles squeezing him, sent Spike spiraling into ecstasy right after her, a growl rumble through his chest as he came.  
  
He retracted his fangs and she felt his tongue catch the droplets that ran down her neck. Spike nuzzled his mark, a loud purr filled the room. She was his, body and soul.   
  
As Buffy came down from her orgasm, she felt a sweeping calm encompass her entire being. It wasn't just the afterglow of sex; it was something far more grand. She felt whole for the first time in her adult life. He gave her that. She was proud of him, proud of herself as well, for letting go of the past and just being, being in his arms, his body pressed against hers and his lips murmuring words of love.  
  
  
  
  
It was three in the morning when the sounds from upstairs permanently settled down. O'Malley sat outside on the balcony of the kitchen, looking up at the pitch of night sky. He felt a strong presence floating above the cloud that covered the moon.   
  
It would be tonight.  
  
A life split in two shall reunite on the Night of the Ill Fated.  
When black is black  
And wrong is right  
The Heavens shall commence and rain down their might  
Black blood and ivory stone together mixed shall become one  
With the Father's form of justice.  
  
O'Malley repeated the brief poetic prophecy. He was still stumped on the Father's form justice. Which father did the ancients mean? Must be some god or another. But, what kind of justice would He give? Is he merciful or tyrannical?  
  
When would those infernal Heavens commence already? The Slayer's dreams were already taking shape, he felt it happening. He just needed to see where it would happen.  
  
Thunder softly rumbled in the clouds and lightning flashed. A light drizzle fell from above. O'Malley's gaze drifted up to a blackened bedroom. His heart went out to the lovers. Soon they would be tested in more ways than one. May He be merciful.  
  
  
  
Spike leaned against the headboard. He felt the change in the air, as most demonic creatures probably did, and couldn't get back to sleep. Beside him, Buffy slept soundly, sprawled out on her stomach, her head nestled against Spike's side, her arm lazily draped across his stomach. Spike's hand traipsed along her back and through the ends of her tousled hair. He closed his eyes and breathed her in. Her sweet scent was all over him, imbedding itself into his his skin, never to leave again.  
  
She's beautiful.  
  
Spike opened his eyes and saw Leila standing by the far wall, her shoulders hunched over. Her hair was down, long and wild from the mists of rain. She was wearing white pajamas with her black leather jacket over them. Spike noted her labored breathing and her all over haggard appearance. He never saw her look so diminutive.  
  
Yes, she is. Spike sat up straight and placed Buffy's arm on the bed.  
  
She loves you then, Leila stated. Spike finally got his Slayer. Took long enough. She tried smiling, but she just chewed the corner of her mouth. Then again, you do have forever, don't you? Y--y-you'll be here tomorrow... and the next day.... and the next. Some of us- She cut herself off as her eyes welled up. She nervously glanced around the room.  
  
  
  
I'll leave you now. She shifted from one foot to another before she bolted for the nearest exit, bedroom door.  
  
Leila, wait. Spike quickly leapt from the bed, grabbed his jeans and ran out the door after her.  
  
He flung the front door of the townhouse open and found her huddled underneath a tree. He walked over to her; she was crying, her red tears mixing with the now steady rain. He placed his hands on her shaking shoulders and turned her to face him. Leila, look at me. She obeyed, her red tinted violet eyes met his ice blue. Why did you come here?  
  
I...I wanted to see you. I know you're angry and you hate me, but I wanted to see you before... She swallowed the rest of her sentence. It's almost time you know.  
  
  
  
She nodded her head in confirmation. It should be quite the show. Too bad I won't see it.  
  
Spike stared into those haunting eyes. She believed him. She knew her boss was going to kill her and she's still going to do it. Leila, you don't have to die. Don't let this prick control you; you're better than this.  
  
She cackled at that assessment. I'm not better; I'm a mess. He made me better.  
  
He doesn't love you, Leila.  
  
It's not about love! she shouted. It's about devotion. I told him I knew he was using me; I knew you were using me. It doesn't matter. I never have control. She smacked her head with her fist repeatedly. How can I when I can't think straight? She continued to hit her head, sobbing loudly. She didn't feel the pain; she was too full of other emotions to feel something as trivial as physical pain. She was relying on this fact to get her through the ritual.  
  
Spike grasped both her hands and held her still. Leila, stop this. Let me help you. please, he begged her.  
  
All you want to do is help me. You have other things to look after now, not me, Spike. She pulled out of his arms that bound her.  
  
So, what? You're just giving up? He used you and you're going to let him win?  
  
I am not letting him win, she growled. I'm going to do this. It is fated to be, William. It's my purpose. She raised her hand to his cheek and smiled when he covered that hand with his own.  
  
Tell me where, Leila, where is this taking place? I'll fight with you.  
  
She rested her forehead against his and inhaled his scent. So sweet, so primal. That's why she liked him so much, obsessed over him. They were connected on a basic level, like she always said, and he knew it. From one misguided vampire to another, they were linked. I don't want you to be there, she whispered.  
  
Love, please.  
  
She pulled away from him and saw the concern look on his face. She couldn't deny him. Where the circle stands tall in the hills, a stone barrier. Where gods used to tread. How did it get there? No one knows. Look to the North; see where it glows. Leila laughed gaily. There's some rhymes for the undead poet.  
  
Must you speak in riddles? he groaned.  
  
I may be down and out, but I'm still the same old oxymoron I've always been. I always give you a hard time, she said with a sad smile. I need to go. He-he can't know I left. Spike nodded. Till next time? Spike simply nodded again. Leila tilted her head and brushed her lips against his. Bye, Spike. She turned and fled into the early morning haze.  
  
Spike stood still for a moment and watched her disappearing form. He couldn't believe she was going to do this. Spike slumped back to the townhouse. When he opened the door, Buffy was standing at the bottom of the stairs in a robe.  
  
she greeted.  
  
He closed the door and made his way back up the stairs to his room, Buffy right behind him.  
  
So, I guess you were right, Spike said, sitting down the bed. She came to see me just like you said.  
  
Buffy crawled into his lap and kissed him on the temple. Yes, she did.  
  
Gave me a nice cryptic message too, he added, trying to lighten the mood.  
  
Buffy began, we'll stop this before it gets too far. She doesn't have to die.  
  
No, but she's going to! She's choosing to! he exclaimed. Buffy let him up and he paced the room. She believed me, Buffy. She knows her boss will kill her and she doesn't care.  
  
Of course she cares, Spike. She just knows this is what she is supposed to do.  
  
Yes, it's fated. I get that, I do. But, Buffy, you didn't see her when she first came in here. She looked so small, so scared, she looked like...  
  
An eighteen year old kid?  
  
Spike sighed. I shouldn't be this upset. After what she did and is trying to do, I shouldn't care this much.  
  
Hard not to though. Buffy crossed to Spike and wrapped her arms around his neck. And I love you for it. We'll do what we can just like we always do.  
  
Spike buried his face in the crook of her neck and just let her hold him. His lips parted slightly and moved over the scar he left on Buffy, still red and not completely healed. He gently sucked on the skin, taking great comfort in his mark. Even through his frustration and hatred toward this new Big Bad, he still had Buffy and she was his, wearing his mark proudly for all the world to see.   
  
Buffy's breath caught in her throat at his touch. She turned and pressed her face into his untamed curls. Do you want to go back to bed? she asked almost inaudibly.  
  
Spike pulled back from her neck and hugged her to him. Don't you think we should talk to Rupert first?  
  
Spike, you haven't slept at all and you need to because frankly, you looked wasted.  
  
Spike chuckled. Fine, for a few hours then.  
  
The two walked back to their bed and immediately wrapped their arms around each other. Buffy pulled Spike's head to rest by her shoulder, her fingers slowly wrapping around his hair, soothing him to sleep. Soon, she too found herself unable to stay awake any longer.


	22. To Dance

Disclaimer: If wishes were horses than beggars would ride.  And knowing me and my sense of balance, I'd probably fall down.  Also, I don't know nor have any ties to the group known as English Heritage, which is involved in the keeping of historical locations throughout England.

Distribution: Here, the Crypt at Fonts of Wisdom and at Impish Eyes.  If you want it, just ask me.

A/N: I noticed a mistake in the last chapter regarding the location of the prophecy, which I will change, so forgive me.  It's not huge, but I need to be consistent.  Thank you all my readers and reviewers!  I love you all and your responses to the last chapter made me extremely happy and grateful.  Happy Thanksgiving everyone!  Be safe out there:)

Chapter 18: To Dance  
  
  
O'Malley stayed awake the entire night. Shortly after the rain began, he saw Leila on the street below, pacing and fighting with herself. Her eyes kept rising to Spike's bedroom windows. After what looked like a fierce argument, Leila climbed up the side of the building with the stealth of a panther and entered through the window.  


  The corner of his mouth rose to meet his bright green eyes. He prayed for such an event.  
  


Now, Shamus O'Malley sat smoking his pipe, waiting for Spike to come downstairs. He wanted to talk to his good friend and find out what was said between him and the Dark beauty. Did she reveal her boss's identity? Is she going to help defeat him? When Buffy came down a few minutes ago, she refused to say anything except that Spike would be down shortly and would answer questions then. Buffy and her Watcher then went into the kitchen, leaving O'Malley alone in the living room. He had a feeling about what they were discussing.  
  


   "So, you learned nothing on patrol?" Giles asked as he poured tea for his Slayer.   
  


She gave him a small smile as she accepted the cup. "Well, I wouldn't say nothing."  
  


"Oh, really?"  
  


Buffy nodded. "I'm in love," she blurted out.  
  


Giles swallowed a mouthful of tea. "In love? You are positive?"  
  


"More than positive.  Giles, he loves me too."  
  


"Well, I can hardly say I'm surprised at that," Giles admitted.  Honestly, the new bite mark on her neck she wore proudly was a pretty good indication that their relationship had progressed mutually.  "He's always loved you, Buffy."  
  


"But, he told me last night. For the first time in five years, he said it. Giles, I don't think I've been this happy in a long time."  
  


"I'm glad you're happy, Buffy, I truly am..." Giles sipped some more tea, letting the hot liquid slowly trail down his throat.  
  


"...But...?" Buffy asked when he didn't complete his thought. There had to be a "but." There always was with Giles.  
  


"No buts."  
  


Buffy stared at him in disbelief. "No fatherly words of warning?"  
  


Giles smiled slightly at his former charge.  "You wouldn't listen even if I did. I like Spike, Buffy. I will admit I was concerned how the two of you would react to each other this time around, considering the destructive nature of your relationship."  
  


"It's all in the past, Giles," she assured him. "I'm better now and so is Spike."  
  


"I know, Buffy. Oddly enough, you two are good for each other. The father in me is happy you chose him." Buffy let out a hard laugh at that. "I'm serious. I believe Spike is the only man that you've' been involved with that I have really gotten to know...and respect. If you make him happy and he makes you happy, then I have nothing to say anymore."  
  


"We've gotten the official fatherly blessing, Watcher?"  Spike walked up to Buffy and kissed her temple before snatching her mug.   


  "Yes, Spike, you have my blessing. Not that you need it."  
  


"I don't," he concurred, "but it doesn't hurt." Giles gave him a knowing look; Spike returned it, reaffirming their mutual respect and friendship.  
  


"As touching as this is, and as happy I am to see you two together, we really should get to the matter at hand."  
  


The three obeyed the request from the leprechaun in the living room.  
  


Spike sat on the edge of the cushion as he relayed Leila's message to the group.  
  


"So, she's not going to help us," Giles concluded.  
  


"No more than she already has, it seems," O'Malley agreed, puffing thoughtfully on his pipe.  
  


"So," Spike began, slapping his hands together, "any thoughts on this riddle?"  
  


Giles grabbed a map of England. "A circular stone barrier where Gods used to reside." He placed the stem of his glasses in his mouth as he mulled it over. "Well, we are dealing with some sort of sacred circle, but I have not heard of any such place matching Buffy's description."  


Buffy peered at the map. It was full of shires, towns, and rivers she didn't know.  Sure, the names were familiar, seeing as most of the eastern United States was name after them, but she didn't know what any of them looked like. Then one name in particular caught her attention. She wracked her brain trying to remember why it was so familiar. Think, Buffy, think! It hit her! She silently thanked God that Dawn made her watched hours of the Discovery Channel.  
  


"I know where it is. I know where the ritual is going to take place."  
  


"Where, love?" Spike wondered, still staring at the map. He had no idea and he was certainly glad someone had a thought.  
  


"Stonehenge." The men stared at her in confusion. "Think, guys. It's a stone circle and it was thought to have been used in rituals thousands of years ago. So, the Gods must have been present." Buffy finished her sentence with a large smile spread on her face. She loved it when she was the smart one!  
  


"Of course!" Giles exclaimed. "It's out in the open, the only structure for miles since English Heritage finally cleaned up the area. Of course lightning would be attracted to that spot."  
  


Buffy unconsciously squeezed Spike's hand at the mention of lightning. He squeezed back as he listened to Giles reprimand himself.  
  


"Buffy, how did you ever come up with this? I'm very glad you did, but Stonehenge was the furthest thing from my mind."  
  


"Let's just say that after we save the world, thank my sister. So, how should we handle this? Should we try to delay Leila or should we wait until the big boss man tries to take her powers?"  
  


"Firstly, we should get there by sunset. As for timing, we need to make sure we get Leila's employer."  
  


"We also have to deal with the demons that will be waiting for us," Spike added. "One of us needs to make him priority while the others fend off the minions."  
  


"I'll go after Leila and her boss," the Slayer stated, to which no one answered. 

"What? I'm the Slayer; I get the big guns, right?" After an extensive silence she added, "or not."  
  


"You'll back up Spike, Buffy, while he goes after the boss," Giles told her.  
  


"Okay, whoever doesn't remember the part about Spike getting electrocuted in my dreams, please raise your hands," she said patronizingly.  "Shouldn't we try to avoid that at all costs?"  
  


"We still will, Buffy," Spike said. "This boss may be human, but he's good, whoever the Hell he is, to have this kind of hold over Leila. Now, I have no problem taking him out; you do."  
  


"Spike, if it comes down to killing an evil human and saving you, I wouldn't think twice about killing him."  
  


"I'm not going to give you that choice."  
  


"But-"  
  


"William is right, lass, and you know it," O'Malley put in. "You'll still cover him and hopefully with Giles' and my help, their guard will quickly be disposed of."  
  


Buffy looked at her lover. He looked nonchalant, but she knew he wasn't as composed inside. She knew this was the way it was meant to play out; it didn't mean she had to like it. She also knew Spike kept his promises. He promised to get back to her and he would. He had to.  
  


"Fine, we do it your way," she sighed with defeat. "You make with the magic; we make with the fists."  
  


Giles nodded. He was proud of his girl. She matured a great deal since last he saw her. She always so head strong, wanting to take the universe head on, knew she would come out victorious. This woman before him still believed that, but she knew when to let the others in, knew when she needed to let someone else lead the battle, even if it was the man closest to her. "Very well. Why don't we get all of our supplies ready unless there's anything else that needs to be said right now."  The Watcher looked at the faces around him.  The leprechaun smoking his pipe seemed a bit more flushed than usual.  "Shamus, is something wrong?"  
  


"Ai," he answered.  "Buffy, Spike, Rupert, I think I should confess something." O'Malley faced the Slayer. "I lied to you yesterday. La Naskita is derived from another word; I do know what it means."  
  


Buffy's eyes darkened. "Why did you lie, Shamus?"  
  


"Because it wasn't the time to tell you. I doubt now is the right time either, but you can not go into this without knowing everything."  Shamus paused for a moment, his silence weighed heavily in the air as he tried to think of the best way to break the news.  
  


"Spit it out already, man," Spike growled.  
  


"La Naskita... it translates into 'The Birth.'"  
  


Spike cocked his head to the side. " 'The Birth?'"   
  


"Yes, William."  
  


"The birth of what?" he asked the inevitable question.  
  


O'Malley sighed as he stood to pace the floor.  "That is not entirely clear."  
  


"Are you saying I'm pregnant?" Buffy blurted out.  
  


Spike whipped his head around, his blue orbs wide and shining with disbelief.  "You can't be pregnant, love. Not unless there's something you didn't tell me," he added, his voice laced with a growl.  
  


Buffy bypassed Spike's comment. "That is what you are saying, isn't it, Shamus? We might have a child?"  
  


"It is very possible that you and Spike are going to have a baby, yes."  
  


Spike threw his hands up in the air.  Was he not in the room?  Did they not know what they were saying was impossible? "What's all this 'we' stuff? I can't have kids. If I could, I would have knocked up the Slayer years ago."  
  


Buffy rolled her eyes and groaned.  Why were men so thick about these things? "Try to think for a second, Spike. Dawn said it to me when I was in all that pain. Maybe I was in labor."  
  


Spike shook his head vehemently. This was not happening to him. "There's got to be another explanation."  
  


"Also, William, Leila herself is the product of a vampire and a human coupling. She was conceived on the Night of Ill Fated, which is today. If I'm not mistaken, you two..." O'Malley didn't finish, just pointed from one to the other.  Everyone in the living room understood him perfectly.  
  


Spike eyes darkened and looked down at Buffy, then to her stomach where Buffy's hand rested. "You're serious about this."  
  


"It is not for certain. We will have no way of knowing for a few more weeks obviously. It is also possible that my suspicions are unfounded."  
  


Spike placed his hands on the back of the chair next to Buffy. He took several very necessary breaths as his fingers curled into the brocade beneath them. "Why didn't you tell us before?"  
  


"Would you have done anything differently?"  
  


Spike went to speak, but closed his mouth. He honestly didn't know the answer. If he knew last night that making love to Buffy could result in having a child, would he have done something differently?  Would he have changed anything about one of the most perfect, most life fulfilling moments of his entire existence? "Well, maybe I would have worn a condom," he joked with a shrug. 

   "Maybe?" O'Malley asked.  
  


Spike looked at the strangely silent Buffy. She just stared at her belly where his baby was possibly growing. His baby. Their baby, created the night its parents confessed their love for each other. He fell back on the sofa next to her, completely aghast at the thoughts in his head, a being with his eyes, her smile and their strength growing in front of him, calling him Dad.  No way in Hell!  
  


Giles cleared his throat. "Buffy...Spike, while this is...good news," Giles choked out the last few words, "there's a possibility you might not be pregnant. Birth can mean many things."   
  


Buffy looked at Giles vacantly. She knew he was talking to her, but she couldn't make out what he was saying.  She stopped listening to those around her a few minutes ago.   
  


"I only mean to caution the both of you in case..."  
  


"Giles, I might have a baby," Buffy finally said, her voice tiny, but her face aglow.   
  


Giles saw the elation on her face and could only smile back at her.   
  


"Rupert is right, Buffy dear," O'Malley interjected. "This is only a theory."  
  


Spike took Buffy's hand, away from her stomach and held it in his cool one. "Buffy, did you hear O'Malley?"  
  


Buffy's brow furrowed and pulled her hand away abruptly. "I heard him, Spike. I'm no deaf. It just... it seems to fit.  Don't you think so?"  
  


"I don't know, love," the vampire whispered.  
  


"Are you not happy about this?"  
  


Spike turned to the other gentlemen in the room, his blue eyes begging them to leave so he could be with Buffy in private. They heard the message and quickly vacated the bottom floor.  
  


"Buffy, if it's true, I would be so happy, but we don't know. We shouldn't get over hopes up."  Buffy locked eyes with him, her green depths dark and it wasn't from lust. "Look, love, this wasn't supposed to happen to me. I'm dead; I accepted the lack of kids concept a long time ago."  
  


Buffy snarled.  "So, you don't want a baby. You don't want this baby that is half yours."  
  


Her words stabbed his heart and he visibly winced at the pain. "Buffy, you aren't listening to me. I gave up on children.  I wanted them badly when I was alive.  I wanted nothing more than to marry and see my wife bear my children. The idea that I could have one now after all these years is incredible. But, I can't get me hopes up.  I don't want to get attached to someone I can't have...again."  
  


Buffy's shoulders slumped and turned to face him. Spike's jaw tensed as he repeatedly swallowed the lump in his throat. She wrapped her arms around his neck and placed her forehead on his chest. "I'm sorry," she apologized, her voice muffled in his shirt.    
  


"Buffy, I would love any life that is a part of you. No question."  
  


"And I you."  
  


Spike ran his fingers through her soft tresses. "So, we may or may not have an addition to the Summers clan."  
  


Buffy pulled back from him.  They would be okay…as long as they both remembered it might not happen.  Still, Buffy was excited at the possibility. "And to the...huh...I don't know your last name. I wouldn't consider the line of Aurielus as extended family." Buffy scrunched up her nose at that thought.  
  


"Bloody hell no!" he exclaimed. The last thing he wanted was his child anywhere near the Poofter or near is loony bin ex- girlfriend.  
  


"So, what's the name?"  
  


Spike sighed at his nancy boy name. He wasn't ashamed of it, but it was just so...old sounding. "William Jacob Henry Curtis III."  
  


Buffy mouthed the name slowly, savoring it. "That's a lot of names."  
  


"That's why Spike is easier. Nice, short, to the point."  
  


Buffy laughed.  "I'm sorry about jumping on you before. I should have thought about it first. I didn't realize..."  
  


" 'Sall right, love. I guess we should go get ready, you know, weapons and such."  
  


"I love you." She kissed him quickly.  
  


"I love to hear you say that."  
  


"Get used to it, baby." She got to her feet, pulling Spike with her.  
  


He reverently placed kisses on both her hands. "I don't think I will."  
  


"Then I'll just have to tell you twice as often."  
  


Spike chuckled. "I won't complain."  
  
  
  
  
Colin paced his study back and forth, back and forth. A few more hours, just a few more hours and it would be over. Soon, he would be all powerful and able to take proper revenge, the painful, bloodbath variety.  
  


"First thing I'll do is rid the world of that bleedin' vampire. Buffy will get over this unhealthy fixation quickly enough and then I won't have to hear Leila prattle on and on about him."  
  


Then he recalled; Leila would be gone by then. She wouldn't be there to see him exact vengeance because she'd be dead. In a few hours, he would kill his lover. No more Colin and Leila against the world.  
  


"God damn it!" he cursed out loud. "I knew I shouldn't have done this; I knew I shouldn't have slept with her."    
  


Colin flopped into his chair. The cushion cradled his tense body. He was attached, had been since the first time he kissed her. Colin wasn't one to sleep around; sex wasn't just another step in a relationship to him.  It was important; it had to mean something and with Leila it did.  She was so sweet; she entrusted herself to him when only minutes prior she said she couldn't trust anyone. He loved the way she made him feel, like a smart, desirable man. No woman ever made him feel that way before.  Who would do that for him when she was gone?  
  


Colin shook off the thought. This had always been the plan. Years in the basement library of the Council Headquarters took their toll. As luck had it, while researching some dual mental demonic humanoid, code name Leila, Colin found an ancient book, half a book.  
  


Colin Travers was his father's son; he knew to open the door when opportunity knocked. He had come too far to turn tail and run. Nothing and no one could stop him, not even the most intoxicating woman he'd ever seen in his life.  
  


She's an addiction. Once she was gone, Colin would forget about her and move on, maybe with Buffy. She was beautiful and enjoyed powerful men. He would spare her, but the rest of them were expendable.  
  


Yes, he would do the ritual, survive, and live out eternity as one of the most powerful men in the world.  
  


"Colin?"  
  


Colin looked up when he heard Leila's voice. She was wearing black leather pants with a sheer long white poet shirt. Her hair was down in loose waves, her lips free from of dark lipstick, just a gloss.  
  


"You are stunning," he said honestly. She actually blushed. He noticed her mood change of the past two days. He figured it was the anticipation of the ritual. "Come here." He held out his arms to her and she climbed into his lap as she often did. She rested her head on his shoulder, not moving, not saying anything.  
  


"Nervous, love?" he asked her.  
  


She nodded. Colin was quite used to her two sides and he enjoyed both. This side, the calmer, "good" side, always made him feel like a boyfriend consoling his girlfriend. While her other side made him feel powerful, like a leader. These quiet moments were pleasant though. It took a great deal of energy to be in control all the time.  
  


"Everything will go according to plan. We've gone over it so many times we could do this in our sleep. All the minions have their assignments should something go awry. I don't foresee that happening though. The Slayer and the Watchers have no idea about the location of the spell. It could be in Timbuktu for all they know. And they have no idea about me." Leila didn't say anything.  Colin looked down at the small form curled up against him. "Leila, is something the matter?"  
  


"Hmmm? No, love, just thinking."  
  


"Anything specific?"  
  


Leila shrugged.  "About tonight...about us."  
  


"Us? What about us?"  He was surprised at this.  Leila never talked about the nature of their relationship; there was never any reason to before.  
  


"Just wondering how things will be when this is all over. I'm going to be different, more powerful and..."  
  


"You're not sure how I'll react to you. Leila, things between us won't change. This had always been about you. My feelings won't change."  
  


The torn girl gazed into her lover's eyes.  "How do you feel exactly? Do you love me?"  
  


"...Leila..."  
  


"It's all right if you don't," she finished quickly, turning her gaze back down to his chest.  "In fact, it's probably better that you don't. I-I was just curious."  
  


"Leila, I care about you very deeply. I always have and always will; you know that."  
  


"I know," she answered truthfully.  
  


Colin tightened his arms around her.  "Look, you're just anxious. It won't be long now. Why don't you rest up a bit?"  
  


She cuddled in closer and breathed him in. "I'll just stay here for a bit if you don't mind."  
  


Colin patted her back gently and stroked her hair. "Never, love."  
  
  
  
  


  "Buffy? If it's not a baby, what kind of birth are we looking for?" Spike called out.  
  


"I have no idea. I guess we'll know it when we see it."  
  


Spike poked his head out of his small walk in closet. Buffy was standing in front of the full length mirror on the wall; her eyes fixated on her lower half. "What are you doing?"  
  


Buffy jumped back in surprise. "Nothing, just looking," she answered. To herself, she added, "I wasn't thinking about gaining twenty-five pounds with your baby. And I wasn't smiling because I know even though I'll be huge, you'll still think I'm beautiful."  
  


Spike stepped out and leaned against the closet door. "Want to look your best while fighting evil?"  
  


Buffy smiled broadly. "Always. You never know who might show up.  After all, I did meet you that way. " Buffy turned back to the mirror. "I am going to look so bad in my bikini," she mumbled.  
  


"Buffy, you never look bad in anything."  
  


"Compared to all the other thinner, non-pregnant women in California, I will."  
  


Spike chuckled.  "Maybe you'll luck out and it will be cold this year."  
  


Buffy looked into the mirror where Spike's reflection should have been. "Spike? 

Where are we going to live?"  
  


Spike slumped into the wall and huffed. "Do we have to discuss this now, love?"  
  


"I was just wondering. You have a townhouse and an apartment on two different continents and I have a house on another. There's no way in hell the baby- if there's a baby," she added quickly, "and I are living in a different country than you. We've got three choices."  
  


"I don't know, Buffy. We'll have to sit down and discuss this at length, but now is not the time."  If living situations were their biggest problem, Spike would have felt much better than he did right now. He disappeared once more into the closet and continued rummaging through his clothes.  
  


"What exactly are you looking for in there?"  
  


"This," he answered as he came out with a familiar piece of clothing, one Buffy had not seen in five years and secretly missed.  
  


"Your duster."  
  


"Yeah. Told you I still had it." He held it out in front of him, his trophy, his prize, courtesy of his second dead Slayer. He felt strange just staring at it, as if waiting for it to bite him. He wasn't sure why he decided to resurrect the relic now; he just knew he had to put it on once again. If he was going down, that jacket would be on his body when he went.  
  


"I thought you didn't want to wear it anymore? Bad memories?"  
  


Spike shrugged. "They weren't all bad, were they? Besides, I've made peace with my past, sort of. I could also use some of the Big Bad tonight." He slipped the leather on slowly, the buttery fabric draped down his frame perfectly, as it hadn't spent the past five years on a hanger. He turned to Buffy. "What do you think?"  
  


Buffy's hands ran over the lapels of the duster lovingly. She met his eyes, her own smiling at him. "I think you're ready to dance."


	23. For Whom the Bell Tolls

Disclaimer: If posession is 9/10 of the law... I still don't own that much.  
Distribution: If thou wants, thou shalt ask first and thou shalt have :) Thou shalt not steal~  
A/N: Yes, this was a long time coming, but hey, it's here now! Give me a bit on the next chapter because I'm in finals week. Then I get a month off for winter break! Woohoo! Thank you to all my readers, you've been wonderful and yours reviews have made me so happy! Enjoy everyone. Only a few more chapters to go!  
  
  
Chapter 19: For Whom the Bell Tolls  
  
No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main ... any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.  
- John Donne   
  
  
  
  
It was impressive. Buffy never felt more insignificant than she did standing besides those monstrous stones. They stood alone between the soggy grass and the evening sky, shadows and fire light splayed across the ominous pillars. Inside the sacred circle was a large wooden structure about three stories tall, a set of stairs curling around it. Flanking this makeshift altar were demons of all sorts, a few carrying torches, the only source of illumination in the entire area. Through the thickness of the dark, Buffy tried to find Leila, but to no avail. "Where is she?" Buffy whispered.  
  
Spike scanned the area. Demons, demons, chanting sorcerers, but no sign of the Gemini and her boss. Then a wisp of white coming from behind the blue stones caught his attention. There she was in a flowy white shirt and black leather pants. Black and white. She stopped at the bottom of the stairs and turned to someone. Spike couldn't hear, but he assumed it was the boss. A man came into view wearing a long black hooded robe. It was him.  
  
"Damn it," Spike cursed. "I can't see his face." Spike just watched from a distance as the man wrapped his arms around Leila's waist and pulled her into a kiss. She held him close as she returned the kiss. She pulled back, cocked her head to the side and smiled before slowly ascending the steps. The man watched her go and turned back to the chanters.  
  
"The altar stone," Spike growled. He pointed to the group of monks. Right behind them was a large slab of stone on the ground.  
  
Buffy remembered the Discovery Channel called it the altar stone. "So, Leila stands up there, the boss stands down here and the lightning bolt transfers the power from her to him," the Slayer surmised.  
  
"Alright," Giles began, "Buffy, you go after the guards at the altar. If you can get to Leila, do so, but if the ritual has started, do not get in her way. Spike, wait until Buffy is inside the structure before going after the boss. Remember, human or not, he has great power within him. O'Malley and I will help you from here. Everyone have their amulets on? It is the only protection any of us will have against the paralysis spell." Everyone nodded their agreement.  
  
Buffy double checked the locations of her various weapons. She then picked up a sword and handed it to Spike. He took it from her; it would be his only weapon besides his own demon. Without saying a word, the partners looked into each other's eyes. There would be no goodbyes and no final kiss. The love and determination shining in their eyes was enough for the both of them. Spike did spare a glance at Buffy's stomach, a small smile creeping across his face as he did so. He straightened his back and puffed up his chest. With one last look at Giles and O'Malley, Buffy and Spike headed to the circle.  
  
  
  
"Leila!" Colin called out.  
  
Leila turned to look at her lover as he came towards her. He looked so sinister in the black robe despite his happy countenance. "Colin?"  
  
Colin embraced her and captured her lips. He felt her tighten her arms around him, almost too tight. He pulled free from her and took in some much needed air. "See you soon, love," he smiled.  
  
Leila cocked her head to the side and smirked. "Soon."  
  
On that note of sarcasm, she climbed up the stairs, not bothering to watch him go. She knew where he was headed.  
  
Slowly, she walked on the wooden planks, one step closer to her destiny. She carefully made her way across a rickety walkway to another set of stairs. She stopped and looked down below. The demons milled about mindlessly. "None of them will be ready," she thought. "Colin's cocky attitude infected them. They aren't prepared for them." A sly smile broke her beautiful face. "And the blood will be thick and flow from us all."  
  
  
  
Spike hid in the shadows behind one of the stones, safe for now. Buffy silently crept up to the altar, trying her best to keep to the darkness, away from the firelight. But, vampires would see her in the dark anyway. Buffy noted, however, that the guards weren't paying attention to their duties, just blissfully caring on and talking to one another.  
  
Wanting to be as inconspicuous as possible, Buffy opted not to dust them just yet. She reached the makeshift altar; grabbing a hold of the second level edge, she flipped her body up onto a platform. Still no sign of alarm and truthfully, that scared her.  
  
Buffy climbed up the next two levels, avoiding the staircases. "This can't be this easy," she mumbled to herself.  
  
"It never is," a gravely voice replied.  
  
Buffy spun around and faced two vampires in game face and ready for a fight. "Shall we?" the Slayer asked, wrapping her arms behind her back.  
  
The first vampire charged her. Buffy stood still and watched the vampire run to her. Seconds before the vampire felt the heat of her human form, Buffy quickly removed a bottle of holy water from the back of her jeans. She threw the glass container and it smashed against his face, smoke and the smell of burning flesh quickly filled the air. The creature flailed about, his hands fiercely slapping his face, trying to dose the agony. Buffy grabbed the stake at the small of her back and stabbed the vampire in the heart, silencing his screams.  
  
"He wasn't very smart, was he?" Buffy asked the remaining vampire.  
  
"He was young and stupid. I won't be an easy kill, however," the vampire sneered just before he evaporated before Buffy's eyes.  
  
As the dust cleared, the Slayer met with the eyes of her helper.  
  
"So, you figured it out," Leila stated. She stepped over to Buffy, the sleeves of her shirt ruffling in the wind. Leila gave Buffy a slow once over. She was a beautiful creature, lithe body, fiery eyes and an unmistakable aura of power, perfect for Spike. "I must admit, part of me hoped you wouldn't be here, but part of me hoped you would."  
  
Buffy quickly took in the woman before her. She was younger than Dawn, but looked years older, a girl forced to grow before she was ready. This was the first time Buffy ever spoke to the teen without Spike around. "Leila, come with us. We can-"  
  
"Save your breath, Slayer. If Spike couldn't win me over, do you really think you can?"  
  
Buffy leaned against a support beam. She didn't know what to say to her. "Ow!" Buffy cried softly. She looked down at her arm to see what hit her. She felt it again, tiny pin pricks along her skin, penetrating her clothes. Buffy met Leila's violet, expressionless eyes.   
  
"Here we go," she said, pointing up.  
  
Buffy followed the direction to the sky, small blue crackles of electricity scampered above her head. "Oh, shit."  
  
"You know, I'm glad we ran into each other tonight," Leila commented, the ease of which made Buffy shiver. "I never really saw you until I mounted your boyfriend and only then again after you did." She leaned in closer, her breath dancing on the Slayer's face. "Just us girls now. It's kind ofnice I suppose."  
  
This woman's composure had to be an act. There was no way she could be this flip while staring her death in the face. Buffy wasn't like that either time before she died. The first time she was terrified and the second time she was happy and determined to do her duty as a sister and as the Slayer. But, Leila was just standing there, looking like she was just waiting for a table at a restaurant.  
  
"You take care of him." Leila demanded. She paused until Buffy's eyes were fixed on her. They were a glassy sort of sea green color shining with the blue sparks. "Take care of him. If you don't, not even the Powers will be able to stop me from coming back and kicking your ass."  
  
"Why don't you stick around and save yourself the trip?"  
  
Leila's musical laugh sang in Buffy's ears. "You're a cutie, but I've always found threats beyond the grave more effective, more ominous, haven't you?" Buffy made no answer, so Leila shrugged. "Oh well, goodbye, Buffy. Sorry to have to do this to you."  
  
"Do wha-?"  
  
But, before she could say anymore, Leila's foot shot out, connecting with the Slayer's gut, sending her backwards off the ledge.  
  
Buffy hands grasped the air as she tumbled, trying to get a hold of the altar. Her left hand finally reached a wooden board and she held tightly. Her body jerked with the sudden stop and slammed into the side of the structure. Buffy breathed deeply and looked up; she hadn't fallen as far as she thought.  
  
She pulled herself up quickly and saw several groups of demons coming towards her. Above, Buffy heard Leila continue her ascent. "Come on, guys, I could use the magic right about now." Buffy pulled out a stake, readying herself for the onslaught. Suddenly, she wished all of the Scoobies were here to back her up.  
  
  
  
  
"Good Lord!" Giles exclaimed as he saw a dark figure falling, instantly knowing it was Buffy. When she caught herself, the Watcher released his breath and turned to O'Malley. "Quick, man. Let's get going."  
  
Giles and O'Malley began their chanting and sprinkling black sand. While Giles continued saying the magical words, O'Malley picked up a golden chalice filled with the potent ingredients. He slowly poured the liquid into the black circle. A burst of flames and smoke erupted.  
  
"It's working," he called to Giles. Just one last thing.  
  
O'Malley reached into his vest pocket. Normally, he would never even think of using this powder in a spell, but he didn't see any other way to ensure its accuracy. This was a special kind of powder, sacred to the leprechaun community. O'Malley grabbed a pinch, just a pinch, of the gold substance and tossed it over the other ingredients. Another explosion of flames and smoke, accompanied by a blinding light burst. Both men feel to the ground and covered their eyes. When it vanished as quickly as it appeared, their eyes searched Stonehenge.  
  
"Let's hope we were in time," Giles prayed as he brushed off his trousers.  
  
O'Malley smiled. "I think we were, but let's get the next one ready just in case."  
  
  
  
  
Spike waited in the shadows for what seemed like hours, surveying the area. In the space between the altar stone and the wooden pedestal, the monks were still chanting and casting incense. The boss was still covered, his gaze seemingly fixed on the weeping Heavens.  
  
Out of the corner of his eye, Spike saw the demons guards rush up the spirals stairs. Spike immediately went into game face; Buffy was on her way to Leila. "Wait for it, mate, wait for it," Spike told himself.  
  
When he saw the fire blaze over by Giles and O'Malley, the vampire jumped out into the dim light. As soon as he was spotted, several demons ran to the intruder. Spike raised his sword high above him and sliced through the night and a few heads.  
  
"Damn it!" Spike heard the boss curse. "Get that bloody vampire!!!"  
  
Spike stopped; he knew that voice, knew it well. There wasn't much he forgot about that uptight, too clean pain in the ass pillock. But, it couldn't be him.  
  
Taking advantage of Spike's momentary distraction, a slimy demon punched him across the face. Spike struggled to stay on his feet, but the demon threw himself at him, sending them both to the soaked ground. The two rolled over, clawing at each other. The slimy demon managed to dominate Spike with his large form. He pounded into Spike's stomach and batted him about the face. Spike roared and caught the demon's fist in his own hand. Giving it a hard twist, the demon cried out in pain. Spike hurled the demon from on top of him and scampered to his feet. Just as Spike was about to grab the demon by the neck, a bright white light blinded him. Spike shielded his sensitive eyes with his hands and turned away from the harsh site.   
  
When he felt the light fade, he blinked his feral eyes and slowly opened them. A smirk promptly appeared as he saw the frozen bodies of the demons in front of him. "Thank God for O'Malley."  
  
"And who will you thank for me?"  
  
Spike's ears picked up on the grating tones of the boss. He spun on his heels, his black leather duster flowing around him. Slipping into his human visage, Spike glared at the face of his enemy for the first time. "You have got to be kidding me."   
  



	24. For Whom the Bell Tolls Part Two

Chapter 19: For Whom the Bell Tolls (Part Two)  
  
  
I kid you not, Mr. Spike, Colin assured the vampire. How embarrassed you must be right in this moment, knowing that your enemy was right underneath your nose. Colin smirked at Spike as he pushed the hood off his face. You never had an inkling, did you?  
  
Spike tightened his grip on his sword as his foe took a step forward. No, I didn't. I thought Leila had better taste in men. Resorting to his predatory instincts, Spike began to circle Colin, who in turn copied the vampire's movements. How do _you_ feel, the big man who brainwashed a child?  
  
I never brainwashed her, Colin spat. We were always honest with each other.  
  
Spike snorted. 'Cept for the part where you were planning to kill her.  
  
The Watcher shrugged. 'Twas a necessity.  
  
Of course it was. Killing your fuck buddy is always a necessity.  
  
Colin's hands shot out sending a silver beam into Spike's chest. Spike flew back and smashed into a petrified demon.   
  
Bloody hell, he mumbled as he rose to his feet and slowly made his way back to Colin. The Watcher packs a punch.  
  
That he does, Mr. Spike, that he does. I will be up to full strength very shortly. Of course, you'll be quite dead by then...but, Buffy won't be.  
  
Spike growled at the mention of his love. His mind briefly flitted to Buffy; was she all right? Did she get to Leila?  
  
I've decided to keep the Slayer around for a spell. She'll need someone to turn to once you're gone.  
  
And since everyone in existence will be dead, that leaves you? Not bloody likely.  
  
Spike roared as he swung his sword at Colin. The young man just chuckled, again raising his hand.  
  
  
  
Spike's hands and feet stopped moving on command. Oh, fuck, his mind screamed. How was he going to fight this guy standing still?  
  
Colin reveled in the fear that flashed through the vampire's now saffron eyes. Now, Mr. Spike, if you don't mind, I've got very pressing matters to tend to. Colin raised his hand higher; Spike's body followed the same motions. A force field formed around him. Spike grunted as the pressure inside the bubble began to increase against his body. The buildup was steady, the air thick. He was glad he didn't need it to survive. He tried to maintain his strength, not buckle underneath the invisible hand squeezing him.  
  
A rumble of thunder grabbed both their attentions.  
  
It's time. Colin turned to the wooden altar. Leila just made it to the top. She looked down at him; she didn't seem to care about the floating Spike, eyes totally fixed on her lover. He gave a reassuring smile only to have it fall away when he saw Buffy come up behind her.  
  
Panicking, Colin yelled to the monks. The barrier now!  
  
The monks joined hands, combining their energies as they said another incantation. The earth began to shake as they cast their spell.  
  
Spike quickly looked up to the Slayer. She was pounding her fists into the air. Above her, the clouds were gathering, thunder was more frequent; she had to get out of there now.   
  
  
  
  
You think you can get rid of me that easily? Buffy asked Leila who was standing stock still.  
  
He has him.  
  
Buffy barely heard her soft, constricted voice.   
  
Leila continued to stare down, unflinching. Colin has Spike.  
  
she exclaimed. Buffy moved to her side. Down below she saw her lover dangling in mid air and next to him was Colin Travers. It can't be. Stuffy Colin Travers is the Big Bad? she thought to herself. She was about to laugh at the idea when she saw Colin yell into the wind. What's going on? she asked Leila.  
  
Leila turned her complacent gaze to the Slayer. She could feel the fear radiating off of the woman. I need to go now. I suggest you get a good look at him while you can. Leila turned away from her and looked up into the rain, the drops stinging her eyes, but she still felt no pain. Or you can run down there, either way.  
  
Buffy stepped towards the girl. I've had enough. You're coming with me. Buffy tried to grab Leila's arm, but she hit something...or nothing. It was a barrier, an invisible one. She pounded on it several times, but it didn't give way. She heard another yell, this time it was her lover's cry. She looked and saw Spike calling out to her.   
  
Buffy spun on her heels and ran down the stairs. She was a few levels below Leila when she heard a crack followed by a guttural cry. Buffy's feet moved faster as she continued down the stairs.  
  
  
  
  
It all happened so quickly. Colin ordered the barrier up and almost immediately it was up. Spike saw Buffy run back down to him. He needed to get down and stop Colin before he changed his mind and hurt Buffy and the baby. He needed out of his restricting prison.  
  
Hey, Travers! he called, trying to keep the pain out of his voice.  
  
Colin glared at the vampire. The vampire would be crushed shortly, a proper death, wrenching the unlife out of him. Is it time for your final words?  
  
She knows, he confessed through his teeth. Colin cocked his eyebrow. Leila knows your going to kill her.  
  
Colin let out a hard laugh. No, she doesn't. If she did, why would she still be here?  
  
Destiny. That and she is still hiding behind that smokescreen of yours. She loves you, you git. And she's going to let you do this because she believes it was meant to be. Spike gasped for the unneeded air, but his chest was ready to collapse.  
  
Colin frowned as he briefly pondered the words of the vampire. He quickly shook it off. I do not believe you. Why should I?  
  
Spike's eyes bored into the git before him. As much as he wanted Colin to drop him, he wanted the Watcher to suffer, to feel the pain he was inflicting on Leila. Look at her. Look what you've done to her, Spike growled. He knew Buffy would be there shortly and he just needed Colin to drop his guard for a second.  
  
Colin slowly let his gaze travel up to the altar. She was staring at him again; her body was still, but her eyes were shaking with emotion. Even from the distance he saw her violet eyes clear as day. With one final breath, she faced the other way. She knew. She knew what he was doing. Colin felt a weight drop in the pit of his stomach. He felt heavy and empty at the same time. His face grew pale; he never wanted her to know what he was planning, not after everything they went through together.  
  
Colin ran his hands through his hair. Oh, God. His voice shook as he muttered. No, she doesn't know. She can't, he tried to convince himself.  
  
Spike tumbled to the ground as Colin's concentration was now fully on his lover. He quickly took in a breath, his lungs rapidly expanding on their own. His head was pounding and every limb ached. He lifted his eyes to Colin. The man was beside himself; Spike swore he saw tears gleaming in his dark eyes. He took a large gulp of air and shook his head.   
  
Just then lightning broke through the sky, a jagged white bolt headed straight for the altar, straight for Leila. Colin ran to his stone and faced the electric spear.  
  
You're too late, Spike. Nothing can stop me now, not you, not her. She'll be smiling down on me, happy that I will see our vision to its fruition. Yes, yes, she'll be happy!  
  
You are out of your mind, Spike choked out as he slowly tried to make his way to a standing position.  
  
Not at all. Say goodbye, Spike. Soon everything you love will be gone.  
  
  
  
  
Leila's body convulsed as the lightning crashed through her heart. At first she felt no pain, just a slow burning sensation spreading through her body. She welcomed it; this would end her and strangely enough, she was ready. She was dying by her own choice, the only one she had made in a long time. She opened her eyes, hot blood tears flowed down her pale cheeks. Somehow she knew everything would turn out all right. He couldn't be her savior, not that she wanted that of him, but he would save the world. Spike never failed.   
  
The lightning punctured her back. Leila released a blood curdling scream as the warmth turned into a scorching pain, tearing her life from the shell of her body and sending it down to the ground.  
  
  
  
Buffy heard the scream. She already knew she was too late; there was no way to save Leila, but she sure as Hell could stop Colin. That right bastard! She ran towards the altar stone when she heard someone yell her name. She stopped and peered into the darkness. She saw Giles running to her side.  
  
he yelled once more. he gasped. We saw the lightning.  
  
O'Malley appeared at Giles's feet. What can we do?  
  
It's already started. We need to get to Colin, Buffy said before she started over towards the two men.  
  
Giles repeated. Good Lord. How is Spike?  
  
Buffy didn't answer just ran.  
  
  
  
Spike saw the lightning break through Leila and head towards a waiting Colin. His mind ran a mile a minute. There he saw Leila's shining, vivacious young face; he failed her. He couldn't save her and it pained him. His unbeating heart clenched as he saw her life being pulled from her, ramming into Colin's evil heart. It wasn't suppose to happen like this; they were going to save the day like they always did, like he always did for the past seven years. This was what he did, prided himself for doing, fighting the good fight and winning. It wasn't for his ego or for the fame. He spent so much of his unlife away from the world, consumed by his demon, to only enter the human race to damage it. But, now, he was part of it, the undead part, but a part nonetheless. And he failed to save her life. He vowed not to let her go unavenged.   
  
The vampire moved quickly. He summoned every ounce of strength left in his body and pushed his muscles forward. He didn't think twice. Spike ran towards the Watcher, now impaled to the spot by the bolt. With his remaining energy, he shoved Colin out of the beam's light, sending the young man flying through the air.   
  
Spike screamed when the lightning claimed him. His entire body shook, his extremities thrashed around him. His head fell back and his eyes were blinded by the white light. It was excruciating! Everything inside of him burned and vibrated. Spike tasted blood, his blood, as it flowed from his nose into his gaping mouth, filling it. He couldn't swallow, he couldn't scream anymore. The bolt continued to bore inside his undead body and wreak its havoc.  
  
  
  
  
Buffy couldn't say anything for what felt like five minutes. Somewhere inside she knew it was only a matter of seconds. She watched helplessly as her lover, her Spike, threw himself into the lightning's path. Her heart stopped; it might have disappeared all together because she felt nothing. She heard his pain, saw it etched into his beautiful face.   
  
  
Then in a flash, it all vanished, the lightning, the blue sparks of electricity, the clouds and rain from above, all gone. Spike collapsed onto the stone, his body sprawled out across the cold gray surface. The night was silent, not a breath was heard, not a blade of grass rustled until-  
  
  
  
Buffy ran over to Spike and threw herself beside him. She slowly rolled him over and let out a sob at the sight of his blood stained face. No, no, oh God, please no, she cried, the tears poured out of her eyes. She held the delicate planes of Spike's face between her shaky hands. He was hot, feverishly hot. Come on, baby, open yours eyes. Open your eyes!  
  
But, Spike didn't move. She grabbed him by the shoulders, shook him, yelled at him, still nothing. She couldn't breathe through her crying. Her throat was thick and her chest was ready to explode.  
  
  
  
The woman didn't look at her father; she rested her forehead against the man she loved. The heat radiating off of his body was oppressive, but atleast he wasn't dust. Giles, we need to get him home now, she whispered.  
  
Buffy, I-   
  
Buffy whipped her head around, the sight of her swollen, red face shut him up. He's not dust, he's not dead, she reasoned. Giles bowed his head and gave a slight nod.  
  
someone groaned.  
  
Buffy turned to see where it was coming from. A few feet away she saw a figure slowly roll onto his back. It was Colin; he was still alive. The Slayer rose and went over to the fallen man. His face was ashen, his eyes were blood shot and his mouth paler than his skin. He blinked several times before focusing on the distraught woman above him.  
  
he croaked.  
  
Buffy bent down and grabbed Colin by the shoulders forcefully. What did you do? What the fuck did you do to him?! she screamed, shaking his battered body mercilessly. Tell me, you sick fuck! What happened to him???!! Answer me! God damn you! she cried. God damn you. Colin couldn't say anything through his coughing fits as he tried hard to breathe. Give me a reason not to kill you, Travers; how do I fix him?  
  
Buffy, dear, O'Malley whispered to her. He laid his hand on her arm, willing her to release the half dead Watcher. Darling, look over there.  
  
Buffy's glassy eyes followed O'Malley's direction. Over on the ground at the bottom of the wooden structure was a body. she murmured. She must have fallen.  
  
Colin opened his eyes as wide as he could. He turned over and sat up and peered through the dark night. he called out to her. He made another attempt to rise, to go to her, but Buffy pushed him down.   
  
Don't even think about it. You can't touch her ever again. With a quick glance back at Giles and Spike, Buffy and O'Malley went to check on the young girl.  
  
Buffy placed her hand on her soft white cheek; she was ice cold, colder than a vampire. Her once brilliant, hypnotic eyes were open, glazed, vacant and sadly gray. Her beautiful face was now sickly, a shadow of what it once had been. Her red tears were now dry as was the blood that split from her mouth and nose. Buffy began to cry again. She slid her hand over Leila's eyelids, closing them forever.  
  
She's gone, she announced. Buffy turned her hate filled eyes on the girl's murderer. She's gone. You killed her and what do you have to show for it? Nothing! Buffy gently lifted Leila's body into her arms and brought her over to Giles.  
  
Leila, baby. Let me see her, Colin begged. Buffy paid him no mind. Please, Buffy let me see her! His dark brown eyes filled with tears as Buffy continued to carry his lover away from him.   
  
You don't want to see this, Buffy told him, cupping the girl's head into her shoulder.  
  
Colin collapsed once more into the cold grass and wept. He had nothing, Leila was gone and he had no power, no part of her he could carry inside of him.   
  
Buffy placed the body on the ground beside Spike. We'll bury her, she said. Some place nice. Spike will know where.  
  
Giles sighed. How was he supposed to answer her? I don't know-  
  
I do, she stated firmly.  
  
How is Colin?  
  
Buffy snarled. He'll live unfortunately. Luckily, I think he'd rather be dead right now. Let him suffer, I don't care. Why don't you go get him? Knock him out and we can get out of here.  
  
Giles stood and held his Slayer's eyes for a moment. They were deep, dark green coated in a glassy sheen, but filled with determination. As Giles walked over to the broken Watcher, he couldn't help the smile that bloomed on his lips. Quentin was going to be right pissed off when he found out about his wayward son.  
  
Buffy sat beside her lover and was about to touch his still form when he suddenly began to convulse. Giles! Help! Now!  
  
His entire body jerked about uncontrollably. His pale skin began to redden and his blue eyes rolled into the back of his head. Buffy tried to still him, but there was too much power behind his muscles. He knocked her backwards as he continued to seize. Giles was at their side in seconds, Colin's unconscious form hanging off his shoulder.  
  
What is happening? he wondered. He looked to the wise man at his feet. O'Malley, what is going on?  
  
O'Malley shook his head. I don't know what to tell you, he confessed.  
  
As abruptly as it came, the seizure passed. Buffy cradled Spike's head in her lap. He was burning up, beads of sweat lined his forehead and ran down the sides of his face. His eyes, which had taken an almost white color, were closed. She ran her fingers over his peroxide hair. Spike? Baby, it's Buffy. I'm right here. We're going to get you home, okay? She held his hand tightly in her own as she kissed his knuckles.   
  
Something moved. It was very slight, but persistent. She gripped his hand tighter and waited. She felt it again! Buffy gasped when she realized what it was.   
  
Giles asked. Buffy, we've got to move him now.  
  
Buffy looked at the men around her. She laughed through a fresh batch of tears. She shuddered from the mirth filling her body. He's alive. Giles, he's really alive. She held out his hand to the Watcher. He has a pulse.


	25. As I Am

Disclaimer: All I want for Christmas is the rights to BtVS and James Marsters placed under the mistletoe. Do you think Santa could come down the chimney with all that? I'll leave plenty of room underneath the tree! Merry Christmas to me!  
  
A/N: Thank you so much everyone! The reviews have been wonderful and I could not be happier at the positive feedback I have received. In case you don't hear from me until later, I hope everyone enjoys the holidays and be safe!!!! Happy Holidays:)   
  
  
Chapter 19: As I Am  
  
  
Despite his normal stoic countenance, a storm raged in Quentin Travers' eyes, a mixture of hurt and fury crashing together. He looked at his wayward son being restrained by two of his stronger men in case the boy should try to put up resistance. So, far he had not. The father's old eyes bored into his son's once youthful dark orbs, now full of despair. Neither said a word, but Colin wanted his father to say something-anything to erase the silent disappointing stare he gave to everyone else. Colin wasn't "everyone else!" He was his son, God damn it! His son!  
  
It didn't matter though. His father just sighed, turned and walked away.  
  
"Fuck you!" Colin screamed at the retreating back. "Fuck you!" Colin fought against the men latched to his arms. They barely had a hold on the enraged man. "Come back here, you bastard!" Colin tried not to cry, he really did. Tears were a weakness to Quentin Travers. He didn't even cry when Colin's mother died, or if he did, he was alone, not making a spectacle like the young son was. "Father," he pleaded.  
  
Quentin stopped. He looked once more at his broken son. Never had he seen him in such a state. He gave a nod to two more guards by the door.  
  
The men joined the others with Colin and carried him away. Colin did not say anymore. He knew no good would come of it. So, he allowed the men to escort him to the holding facilities. He knew them well of course, having visited Leila numerous times.  
  
Leila, his beautiful lover. Now, he only had the memory of her pressed to him for comfort in the sterile prison. God, what he would have given to have her back in his arms again. He wanted to hear her voice, feel her skin, see her voluminous eyes so full of devotion. Anyone would have fallen in love with that enigmatic woman, and he did.   
  
He never loved anyone until he met her. Then he ruined what should have been his most precious treasure.  
  
How like his father!  
  
  
  
  
For days there was nothing. Hours bled together and hidden behind the curtains, time was irrelevant. All that mattered was what was in front of her, or rather who was in front of her.   
  
Spike slept soundly in their bed while Buffy kept a close vigil. She rarely left his side, afraid he might vanish if she wasn't with him. She studied him as he laid there. He hadn't woken up once since the battle with Colin and Leila; he just seemed to be sleeping, the occasional twitching of his eyelids was a good indication of that.   
  
As soon as they got him settled after that night, Buffy wouldn't say anything. She spent an hour moving her things into his room from across the hall and then curled up next to him. She didn't sleep, just sat there and let questions run through her mind. In the morning, she demanded answers. Why was his heart beating? Why was he breathing? Why wasn't he dust? And most importantly, when will he wake up?  
  
"We won't know for certain until he wakes up," Giles told her. However, I have ventured to make some assumptions about Spike'scondition."  
  
Buffy paced the room, her eyes darting to the stairs every few steps. She didn't want to be in the living room, she wanted to be upstairs with Spike in case he needed her. What if he woke up all disoriented and she wasn't there?  
  
"Obviously, Spike's body is alive and because of the incident with the curtains, we know he can withstand sunlight just like Leila." Giles removed his glasses at the thought of the accident. The bedroom window was open and the curtains just blew apart. After he calmed Buffy down, they realized the comatose vampire was perfectly fine, his skin anyway.  
  
"But, Leila also had a demon inside of her. What did the prophecy do to Spike's demon?"  
  
"Presumably, like Leila, Spike still needs blood so at least part of him is still demonic. I would say his demon was subdued."  
  
"So, he's just like Leila, but not insane?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Basically," O'Malley answered.   
  
Buffy chewed the corner of her mouth and digested this information. "So, this is what I was dreaming about the entire time?"  
  
"Yes. You do know what this means, don't you?"  
  
Buffy nodded. "Spike was the Birth all along."  
  
  
  
She tried not to think about it. If she dwelled on it, she would cry and despair over something-some_one_ who was never real. Spike was real; his love was more than real. Buffy focused all of her energy on him, willing him to get better. When she asked why he still had a fever and why he was still unconscious, O'Malley just smiled and said, "His body needs time to adjust to the change. He hasn't been alive for a long time. When he's ready, he'll wake up."  
  
Buffy prayed it would be sooner rather than later.  
  
  
  
She felt him shift beside her and then she heard a groan. Was she dreaming? Often she dreamt she would open her eyes and see bright blue orbs gazing lovingly at her. She was awake, the pinch to her forearm proved that.  
  
"Spike?" she croaked through her morning scratchy voice.  
  
He tried to respond to his name, but he barely parted his lips. His eyes closed once more.  
  
Buffy quickly crawled to his side. Her hands hovered over him; her entire body was shaking like a leaf. "Spike? Come on, baby, look at me. Let me see you," she pleaded, She gently touched his cheek, the pads of her fingertips just grazing his still fiery flesh.  
  
At her touch, Spike's heavy lids fluttered, trying to open. Finally, he opened them half way, just enough for him to see her face, for her to see the blue of his eyes. They were pale, so pale, but they were still his.  
  
"There you are," she sniffed. Her tears pricked her eyes as soon as he tried to speak.  
  
"Bu- Buffff-yyy...?" he rasped. He blinked slowly several times. Everything hurt, blinding pain. He hardly recognized his love through the fog of his mind. Everything, physically and mentally weighed him down; he was underwater and the pressure was trying to crush him.  
  
He wanted to move, Buffy saw that. She laid her hands on his shoulders. He hissed in pain and she retracted them. "I'm sorry, baby. Justdon't try to move. I'llI'll go get Giles." Buffy rose from the bed and couldn't help but run out the door and yell, "Giles!!!"  
  
"Buffy?!" he yelled back. Giles ran to the bedroom, taking two stairs at a time. He saw Buffy at the top of them, obviously agitated. "What is the matter?" he asked, trying to sound somewhat calm.  
  
"He's awake," she answered, not waiting for a reply before going back into the room.   
  
Giles followed. Sure enough, there was Spike, his eyes fixed straight ahead, not wanting to move them. "Spike?" Giles came into his line of sight and received several blinks as a response.  
  
"Don't touch him," Buffy warned the man as she resumed her position at her lover's side. She smiled from ear to ear when Spike's gaze landed on her.  
  
"Has he said anything?"  
  
Buffy shook her head. "He could barely say my name. But, he's awake; this is good."  
  
"Incredibly so," Giles agreed. He released a sigh, released the tension he'd been carrying since the battle. "You scared us, mate," Giles smiled. "However, knowing you, we should never have doubted you'd return." Giles watched as Buffy's fingers gently touched the vampire's platinum curls. Spike turned his head ever so slightly into her hand. The Watcher suppressed his grin. Spike would be alright, at least physically and that was their top concern at the moment. "Um, well, I'll go downstairs and phone O'Malley. I'll be back shortly."  
  
"Could you get him a glass of water, Giles? And some blood too?" He nodded before closing the door.  
  
"Alone at last," she joked still gingerly running her fingers through his soft hair. Spike's eyes began to close again. "Spike?" Buffy tried not to panic. He opened them again, assuring her he was still with her. "I'll let you go back to sleep if you promise you'll wake up again." She tried not to sound too frightened, but she was. What if he didn't wake up next time?  
  
"you," he managed to say through the gravel.  
  
Buffy sat in front of him, tears dripping over trembling lips. "Oh, God, Spike, I love you so much. You're gonna get better and I promise we can start our life together." She couldn't contain herself. She leaned forward and placed a feather-light kiss on his dry, cracked lips. "I'll wake you when Shamus gets here."  
  
Spike let his eyes fall and drifted into a much needed slumber.  
  
  
  
One week later, Spike had greatly improved. O'Malley gave him a brew to help with the pain and his healing abilities were kicking in. He was speaking more readily and moving slightly, not as much as he wanted, and he still slept a great deal.   
  
Spike didn't say much of anything when he found out about what happened. He tried to hide his glassy when he heard about Leila's death and burial. He didn't say anything when Buffy told him about Colin and he remained quiet when Giles told him about reanimation or Birth. The only thing he did say was to Buffy hours later.  
  
"So, no baby."  
  
Buffy gave him a small smile. "Not yet."  
  
"I'm sorry about this." Buffy had no idea what he could possibly be sorry for. Reading her mind, Spike elaborated. "I'm sorry I'm stuck in this bed, that I almost left youthat I was the Birth and not our baby."  
  
So that was it. "Spike, you don't have anything to be sorry for. It's not like you planned this."  
  
"What am I supposed to think, Buffy? I knew about your dreams. I knew I was going to possibly die and possibly leave you alone with a baby and I did it anyway."  
  
"Let it go. It was fate, Spike."  
  
"Fate?" he laughed. "More like a joke."  
  
Buffy left his arms and stared at him with open eyes. "Are you happy? Honestly, Spike, I don't know how you can't be. Do youwould you rather go back to being a full vampire?"  
  
"I don't know. So far, I don't feel any different. It seems like such a waste!" Spike released a frustrated sigh. Leila is dead because of me. She gave me something I didn't ask for, that I didn't really think I wanted.  
  
Didn't want? Buffy repeated almost inaudibly.   
  
Spike didn't acknowledge her, just kept speaking. What did I gain huh? Oh, I can go out into the bloody sunlight. I have a heart beat, which by the way kind of hurts, and with a heart beat comes a pulse. But, I still have my demon and my bloodlust. I didn't mind either of those; I was used to it. Now, I have this new being forced into my body. So tell me what good came of this? Bodily rhythm and a suntan are not worth her death.  
  
Spike finished his speech and took in some now necessary air. Another addition!  
  
Buffy just stared at him. After days of saying nothing, he just said a mouthful and more. She knew he was going to blow at some point, but she did not think he would say those things. She fought back tears as she glared at his frowning face. You want to know what you gain, what good can come of this, Spike? How about us? We can have a real life together.  
  
I'm not human, Buffy. Whatever I am, I am not fully human. If that's what you wanted then you are shit out of luck, he snarled.  
  
I'm talking about a family. Spike. You can take our kids outside to play in the yard instead of watching from the porch shadows. We don't have to explain to them why Daddy can't come to see little league games or why Daddy can't take them to the park. Did you even think about that at all during your tirade?  
  
Leila is dead, Slayer. She can't come back and now I have a piece of her inside of me. For the rest of my existence, I will be reminded that I couldn't save her.  
  
Buffy shook her head. And for the rest of my existence I will thank her for what she gave you, what she gave us, willingly! Maybe I'm being selfish, but God damn it, I want you with me. You're alive, literally. Your other alternative was death and I don't think you wanted that. I know I didn't. I want you here. She stood up from the bed and stalked out of the room, leaving him to think about what she said.  
  
Spike fell back against the oh-too-familiar pillows and squeezed his eyes shut. She didn't understand what he was going through. After hundreds of years of looking into mirrors and seeing nothing, he could now see his reflection. He almost burst into tears when he saw his eyes looking back at him, when he saw his curly platinum hair that was in need of bleaching, the scar on his eyebrow. He was so happy he couldn't speak, but at the same time he felt guilty. Someone died so he could see his reflection?! Someone he cared about no matter how many times he wished she would just go away. She was just a kid, a stupid kid who made mistakes and now he was reaping the benefits. It didn't feel right.  
  
Spike honestly didn't think about how this would affect his new family. There was no baby. There was no baby because he was this Birth, this destined creature. But, no one asked Spike what he wanted. If they had, he would have said no thanks; he wanted the baby. Guilt, fucking horrible emotion! Guilt over Leila, guilt for being happy, guilt over the baby and guilt over making Buffy cry. Maybe he should just go back to sleep.  
  
  
  
Giles was sitting on the edge of the bed when he woke up. Mornin', Watcher, Spike greeted, stretching his arms.  
  
Afternoon rather, the man corrected him.  
  
One looked at the man and Spike knew he was in for a lecture. Sometimes, Rupert Giles reminded him so much of his father. Then again, Rupert would have been a blessing as a parent in full comparison to his sham of a father. Start talking, Rupes or are you going to bore me with silence?  
  
Giles stood and walked to the foot of the bed. He took several breaths, summoning the courage he needed to have this conversation. Despite her minor reluctance, I've sent Buffy away.  
  
You what?! Spike shot up in bed, but fell back at his sudden head rush.  
  
I sent her away. She should be back in Sunnydale tomorrow.  
  
What the Hell is going on, Rupert? Buffy wouldn't leave me. What did you say to her?  
  
Giles shrugged. Simply that she ws hurting your recovery and it was in your best interests if she left you.  
  
Spike couldn't believe what he was hearing. You have no fucking right to say what is in my best interests. She is my best interest.  
  
I simply stated facts and in light of your recent attitude, she was inclined to agree.  
  
Spike shook his head emphatically. No, no, no, there's no way Buffy would leave me. She wouldn't. She loves me and she knows how much I love her. Spike threw back the covers and rose on his shaky legs. He gripped the bed post when he almost lost his balance.  
  
And where do you think you're going?  
  
Where do you bloody think? I'm going to Sunnydale and get her back. I can't live without her.  
  
Giles walked to his side. You might want to tell her that, if you do in fact actually want to live.  
  
'Course I want to live!  
  
Strange. A few hours ago, Buffy was crying incessantly, saying you didn't want to be alive anymore, that you would rather have the gift Leila gave to you removed. You didn't care what it meant to her and your future together. Does any of that sound familiar?  
  
Spike bowed his head and swallowed. I was upset, Giles. We fight, it's what we do, but that doesn't mean she has to get up run. I thought we were past that point. I didn't think she would leave...  
  
She didn't. Spike looked up at Giles, confusion in his glassy eyes. She didn't leave you, Spike. You are right; she loves you too much.  
  
Then why did you do that? he asked, the color rising in his cheeks. You scared the shit out of me! Jesus, man, have a heart. I almost died the other day.  
  
Giles stepped into the vampire, nose to nose. But, you didn't, did you? You aren't going to die, but this attitude of yours is killing Buffy. When she told me she loved you, I was actually happy because I knew how much you returned her affections. I am nipping this in bud, Spike. Get out of this snit you are in. I don't want to see you brooding.  
  
Hey! I do _not _brood. And since when am I not allowed to feel how I want to feel?  
  
No one is saying you can't, Spike. I just think that you will feel worse when you see the woman you love downstairs asleep on the sofa, her face red and puffy from crying, when she should be up her with you, where she has been since you were unconscious. You think what you went through was painful? Think about how you just felt when I said Buffy was gone, that you lost her.  
  
Giles held out his hand to Spike. At first, he scoffed at the gesture, but the Watcher's words rang through his ears. He took his hand and let Giles help him downstairs to find Buffy curled up on the large sofa. Giles went back up to his room, leaving the two alone.  
  
Spike hobbled to her side and brushed a few strands of golden hair from her eyes. She looked upset and vulnerable in her sleep; he didn't have the heart to wake her. Spike grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch and laid down beside her, wrapping his arms and the blanket around her small form. He didn't mind the pain that came from touching her; he needed to be with her at any cost because she was his life. He would tell her that when she woke up.   
  
  
  
  
Dawn had called several times over the past days, but Buffy only said Spike was hurt and she would talk to her later. When she called a few minutes ago, Buffy decided to talk to her. After reluctantly disentangling herself from Spike's arms, she took the portable from its holder beside the couch and began the story. She told her sister the entire tale, from the prophecy and Leila to Spike and Buffy's confessions of love to Spike's still undetermined vampire status.  
  
"He has a heart beat?" Dawn asked for the millionth time.  
  
"Yes, Dawn. He has a heart beat, a pulse, a body temperature, though still not the same as ours, yet. Not too sure on that one."  
  
"Put the phone up to his mouth."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I want to hear him breathe."  
  
"Dawn, you can hear him breathe next time you see him."  
  
"And when will that be?" Dawn wanted to know. "Come on, Buffy! Let me hear him."  
  
Buffy sighed as she walked over to a sleeping Spike. She placed the phone underneath his nose for a few seconds before pulling it away quickly.   
  
"Satisfied?"  
  
"Wow. This is crazy, Buffy. So, he's pseudo human and pseudo vampire?"  
  
"Not really sure yet. Giles wants to do all these tests on him, but Spike isn't up for them and frankly neither am I." Buffy chewed on her bottom lip as she looked at her lover. He hadn't said much when she woke up in the middle of the night, both were still too tired to have an extensive conversation. He just said he loved her. Lately, every time he was about to go to sleep, he said he loved her. Buffy didn't know if he was afraid he wouldn't wake up, as she was sometimes, or if he just wanted to say it. She knew he loved her, fight or no fight. She kissed him lightly, still careful of his sensitivity, and said she loved him too.  
  
"So" Dawn began. "You sound a little too composed, Buffy."  
  
She sighed. "Well, I've had time, more than he has."  
  
"When are you guys coming home?"  
  
"Dawnie, I- " What was she supposed to say? "I'm not going anywhere until Spike's all better. After that, it's hard to say."  
  
"Buffy?"  
  
She lifted her eyes to a now awake Spike. "Hey, sleepy head," she smiled.  
  
"Is that the Bit?" he asked, sitting up slowly. Buffy nodded and gave him the phone. "Hey, Nibblet, how are you?"  
  
"Who cares how I am? I'm not the one who just got reborn. Congratulations by the way and thank you."  
  
Spike frowned. "For what?"  
  
"For being so patient with my sister. She filled me in on all the details."  
  
"All the details?" Spike repeated, eyeing Buffy, who merely blushed.  
  
"Not all the details, 'cause ick, but enough. You're feeling better, that's good. When you are up and walking, I'll come over there and see you."  
  
"Don't bother, Dawn. I'll come see you as soon as I'm able. Remember, I can go out in the sun now."  
  
"Yeah, that'll be different," Dawn admitted. "I'd better let you rest. I love you."  
  
"Love you too, pet. Here's Buffy." He handed the phone back to Buffy, who quickly said goodbye to her sister.  
  
"Did you mean that?" she asked as she scooted closer to Spike, entwining their fingers. "About going to see Dawn?"  
  
"'Course. We can pick her up on the way to Buenos Aires." Buffy arched her brow. "We both deserve a vacation after this and I need to get away from England for a spell. What do you think?"  
  
Buffy's entire face lit up. "It sounds fabulous! So, how are you feeling today?"  
  
"Better now." He tugged at her hand. "Come here."  
  
Buffy crawled into his embrace without a second though. She'd been so careful with him that past few days and wasn't going to pass up the offer to hold him. She hugged him and just sat there, breathing him in. "I love you," she whispered.  
  
"I know," he chuckled. He pulled away to kiss her forehead. "I'm sorry, love. I didn't mean what I said. I was just frustrated. I don't like not being able to do things for myself. It's like being back in the wheelchair. Bloody aggravating. Hell, I can barely touch you and not feel pain!"  
  
"I'm sorry too, Spike. I know you're frustrated, but it's like Giles said, you just need to heal. Just enjoy this time off while you have it.  
  
"I'd rather be enjoying you," he whispered as he nuzzled her hair.  
  
Buffy couldn't help but smile. "Me too."  
  
Spike hand drew circles along her bare shoulders and both relished the contented silence. But, Spike needed to know something. "So, you aren't upset about the baby?" Spike dreaded asking the question, but he couldn't bare the thought of her resenting him even the tiniest bit for this.  
  
"Spike, I was so concerned about you and whether or not I was going to have to find a way to live my life without you that I didn't want to think on it."  
  
"Think now."  
  
"I was happy at the thought of a baby, you know that. And I will be just as happy next time. So, maybe later once things have calmed down a bit, we can try."  
  
"I still can't believe" His voice trailed off as he tried to stifle a yawn.  
  
"Still tired?"  
  
Spike shook his head. "I don't want to sleep. I just want to hold you."  
  
Buffy curled her body into his, resting her head on his chest. She grinned when she heard his heart beat. "Will I ever get used to it?" she wondered. "If it's not too uncomfortable for you," Buffy said to Spike, "I think I'll just stay here for the rest of the day."  
  
"What about food?"  
  
"We'll use the Giles Room Service. It's actually very good and prompt."  
  
Spike ran his fingers through her soft tresses, twisting the ends in his hands. He loved having her like this, just simply laying on his chest, feeling her weight on him. There wasn't anything better in all the world.  
  
"Buffy?" he whispered.  
"Hmmm?"  
  
"I am happy."  
  
  
  



	26. Got Me On My Kness

  Disclaimer: You know the drill by now.  Yes, I took the title of the chapter from the song, "Layla" by Eric Clapton and Jim Gordon.  I personally prefer the rock version as opposed to the slow one, but that's just me.

  Distribution:  This fic is now complete!  If you want it, drop me a line and ask please.  Makes me feel special.

A/N:  Okay, gang, this is the last chapter.  I just want to thank everyone for reading and reviewing my story.  It is my first posted and finished story and I couldn't be happier about it.  Thanks for sticking with me on this piece; I loved writing it and I loved hearing from everyone about it.  I'm a little sad to end it, but all things must end right?  That being said, please enjoy the last chapter and I love you all and thank you so much for making my first posting so wonderful!

PineTranio

Chapter 21: Got Me On My Knees

"Dawn!"  Hurry up or we're going to be late!"

Buffy was running behind as well.  Spike was downstairs on the phone with Larry finalizing plans for the car to meet them at the airport in Buenos Aires.  She wanted to leave as soon as he was done, but Dawn was being typical Dawn, dawdling around her room making sure she packed everything.  

Buffy sighed.  So much happened over the past months.  Spike had fully healed and gotten over his insecurities surrounding his new found demon status.  With Buffy by his side, he was happy and content with his lot in life.  When he was ready, they left Giles and O'Malley in England and flew to the States.  They only spent a few days there, catching up with the Xander and Willow.  Buffy thought Spike would have an aneurysm listening to Xander spout off.  He didn't seem surprised to hear about Spike and Buffy's relationship.  Apparently, Dawn informed them not long after she found out herself.  But, Xander was abuzz with so many questions and sarcastic threats and stories that it was almost unbearable, even for Buffy.    She promised them they would all be home for a nice Sunnydale Christmas, which was in a week and a half, but first it was off to Argentina.  That was if Dawn ever got out of her room.  If she packed any more clothes, she was going to have to buy a new suitcase to pack her souvenirs from South America.

"Did you hear me, Dawn?" Buffy called out as she continued her search through her dresser, desperately trying to find something.  She needed it before they left for Buenos Aires and there was no way she was leaving without it.

Underneath her holy water, stakes and crosses, near the back of the drawer, her fingers touched a crumpled piece of tissue.  Realizing she found what she wanted, Buffy placed the item in her purse and bounded down the stairs in search of her man.

"Ready, love?" he asked as she came into the living room.

"Yes, finally," she answered before jumping into his arms.  She wrapped her legs around his waist and gave him a hard, wet kiss.  "I can't wait to get there!  First thing we do is call Clem and Carlotta and go party!" Buffy exclaimed.

"Does it have to be the _first_ thing we do?" he purred in her ear.  

"Well, maybe the third or fourth," Buffy said with a big smile.  She leaned in kissed his also smiling lips.

"Are you two gonna play kissy face all day or are we going to Buenos Aires?"

Spike placed Buffy back on her feet as Dawn walked into the room.  "Well, well, well, look who's finally packed," Spike said with a smirk, which quickly turned into a scowl when he saw the number of bags waiting for him in the hallway.  He muttered something under his breath about bloody women and all their bloody belongings as he took the first two suitcases out to the car.

When the younger Summers heard the car door open, she turned to her older sister.  "Find it?"

Buffy patted her side.  "Yes, I did."

Dawn jumped into the air.  "Buenos Aires is going to be so cool!"

"For Christ's sake, Bit, did you leave anything in your room?" Spike asked when he entered the house.  "Come on now, give a bloke a hand.  I'm not taking care of all your stuff."  Dawn and Buffy each picked up some luggage and headed out to the car and soon they were off to the airport. 

Dawn was on Cloud Nine from the moment she stepped off the plane in Buenos Aires.  She advanced to Cloud Ten when Spike's hot driver helped her with her bags and she proceeded on up every minute she was there.  It was vibrant and loud, but peaceful and inviting all at the same time.  Despite her sarcastic remarks, Dawn was so happy to see her sister and her best friend/father figure together.  They were always holding hands and sneaking glances at each other and stealing momentary kisses.  Dawn had visions of fending for herself while on vacation, seeing as the two love birds probably wanted to just stay in bed, but Buffy and Spike wouldn't hear of it.  They took her all over the city, showing her all the restaurants, discotheques, La Luna Loca and they snuck in some rather educational trips to balance things out.  It was the most amazing place she had ever been.

Her favorite part was being with Spike though.  They hadn't seen each other in five years and within a matter of seconds, they were back into their routine.  She didn't know how she survived being away from him so long.  God, if she felt that way, she could only imagine what her sister felt.  Luckily, neither of them ever had to worry about being parted from Spike again.

Dawn stared out the French doors that led to the balcony in the living room.  She insisted Spike and Buffy take the bedroom, which they accepted with very grateful smiles.  She loved the apartment, small stylish, rather masculine, but not overly so.  She felt at home there, in the apartment, the present company, in everything.  Finally, a family, the family she dreamt about was hers.  Dawn smiled out at the slowly waning night sky and thanked her lucky stars.  She slowly closed her blue eyes and waited for sleep to whisk her away.  Now, if only her date with Larry tomorrow went as well as the rest of her life…

Buffy sat at a table in La Luna Loca, surrounded by her boisterous friends.  It was great to be back, even better to be there as Spike's girlfriend.  No one wasted any time with their, "Congratulations!" and "Took you long enough."  Buffy blushed feverishly at all the happy faces, but she loved every minute of it.  She wanted the world to see what she had, what they had, because there was nothing like it in the entire world.

Buffy laughed as she watched Spike teach Dawn how to tango.  She was doing well, probably better than Buffy would be.  She was glad her little sister was enjoying Buenos Aires, though Spike believed she was enjoying too much of Larry's attentions.  Buffy laughed it off and reminded Spike how much he liked Larry.  To which he replied, "As a bartender."   He smiled when Buffy reminded them that they were leaving with Dawn and not Larry in two days.

"How are you doing, lovie?"

Buffy pulled her eyes from the dance floor at fixed them on Carlotta.  "Hey, Carlotta.   I'm just fine.  You?"

"Can't complain."  Carlotta leaned back in her chair and crossed her long legs.  "Your sister's great, very entertaining."

"She is that."

"And she dotes on Spike."

"Always has," Buffy told her.  "They've always been like that for the most part."  Buffy mind began to drift.  Periodically throughout the evening, Buffy phased out.  Her thoughts raced a mile a minute and her heart rate would increase every time she thought about…_it_.  She scared Spike a few times earlier when her heart rate picked up.  She assured him she was fine, just excited to be back.

Carlotta poked the dazed Slayer in the side.  "Stop doing that," the fiery dancer ordered.  "Where are you going tonight?  It must be quite captivating."

Buffy smiled and shook her head.  "Forget about it.  I'm just thinking too much."

"Thinking too much about what?" Katia asked from across the table.

Carlotta stifled a giggle as Buffy sighed.  "It's nothing, Katia.  I'm fine really."

"I know what will put you in better spirits," Sid said as he stood and walked up to Buffy.  He extended his hand to her.  "Shall we?"

   Buffy grinned at the kind gesture.  She looked over at Katia for her approval.  The woman just nodded her head, not even offering a comment.  Buffy accepted Sid's hand and the two headed to the dance floor.

Spike and Dawn were just finishing their lesson as they passed.  Spike kissed his lover's forehead.

"Be careful with this one.  You might lose your toes," he joked, remembering the waltz at the wedding.

Sid laughed.  "I'm not worried; she worth a few broken bones."

"More than a few."  He winked at Buffy.  "See you at the table, love."

Spike turned to leave and didn't notice the knowing look Dawn gave Buffy.  The Slayer nodded her head vehemently before going to dance.

"You decide what you are going to do now, Spike?" Clem asked his best friend.

Spike took a sip of his eggnog and brandy.  He didn't know how Larry did it, but this stuff was bloody marvelous.  "Not really.  We're finishing our vacation with the Bit, heading back to Sunnyhell for Christmas with Red and the whelp, and then we planned on staying down here for a while longer.  That is unless something happens to bring us away.  And knowing my Slayer, there is always something that must be done."

Clem slapped Spike on the back with his flabby hand.  "So, we get to keep you guys for awhile.  I'm so happy!"  The demon impulsively grabbed the half vampire and pulled him into a big hug.  "I missed you guys when you were gone."

"No too much I hope," Carlotta insinuated.  She sat on the other side of Spike and joined in on the hug.  "Who am I kidding?  I missed you too!"

Spike patted his friends on their backs.  "Alright, kiddies, enough of the sentimental display."

Carlotta pulled away, but kept one hand draped across his shoulders.  "Oh, come on, Vampy.  We know you missed us too.  Buffy said you kept whining about being up in London and you just wanted to come back and be with us."

Spike rolled his eyes.  " 'Buffy said.  Buffy said.'  I think your wife and my girlfriend are talking too much, mate."  Clem chuckled, knowing full well it was completely true.

Carlotta pouted.  "Are you calling me a blabber mouth?!"  Spike held up his hands in defense.  "Truthfully, Spike, you've got a real winner there.  I knew it as soon as I saw her, just something about her.  Hell, I probably love as much as you do," she confessed gleefully.

"I don't think that's possible," Spike said, his gaze firmly placed on Buffy's dancing form.  She looked like an angel, no, not an angel, a gift from Heaven.  She was wearing a long, flowing green dress with a low cut front and plunging back line.  Her hair hung loosely at her shoulders, few strands held in the back by a gold clip, showing off the diamond earrings he gave her for their one month anniversary.  She threw her head back, laughing at something Sid said.  Even from his seat at the table, Spike could see the faint marks of his bite on her neck.  She never hid them from anyone, even if they had been renewed the night before.  She didn't care who saw them and it filled him love and pride.  

"Oh, love is in the air."

Carlotta's comment pulled Spike from the dance floor.  He followed her gaze over to a darkened corner by the bar.  Spike clearly saw Dawn in Larry's arms, whispering into his ear.  A growl erupted from his chest.  "If you'll excuse me.  I'm going to go peel my bartender off of my lil girl."

"Let them be, Spike.  They're not hurting anyone."

Spike sneered as Dawn gently brushed her lips over Larry's.  "He better have more sense than to maul her right in front of me."

As if sensing they were being watched, the two turned to Spike.  He just gave Larry a slight nod of the head and the bartender gave Dawn a quick kiss on the cheek before going back behind the bar.  Spike laughed out loud at Dawn's disgruntled face as she scowled at the vampire.

"Spike," Carlotta began, "I fear for your children's sanity with you as their over protective father."

"Why?" Clem asked.  "Because he can actually carry out all the threats he throws around?"

They all smiled at the thought of Spike scaring off unwanted teenage boys from his daughter-to-be.   Honestly, Spike couldn't wait.

He sat in his small room, dark, cold and silent.  Nothing to do, but sit, pace and let his mind wander.  He hadn't seen his father since he was placed into confinement, not that he minded really.  But, since Christmas was almost here, he wondered if his father would concede to visit his son.

If only that blasted vampire hadn't pushed him!  The Council would be rubble and all the hypocrites who called themselves Watchers would be gone.  The first few days in his cell were one big blur; he sat in solemnity, thinking only of her.  Then after about a week, he stopped mourning and started planning.  He would avenge her death; kill the thing that now had her essence swimming around inside of him.  That wretch didn't deserve it!

"God damn the man!" he cursed.  "Fucking vampire!"  His voice echoed off the walls surrounding him.

Colin slumped onto his bed and put his head in his hands.  Somehow, someday, he would get out of there, he vowed.

The errant Watcher lifted his dark menacing eyes at the sound of clanging metal.  

The door to his prison opened letting in a bright stream of light and a shadowed figure.  Colin huffed at the sight and leaned back against the wall.  "It's you.  I was wondering how long it would be."

"Merry Christmas to you too, my boy," Quentin greeted as he closed the cell door behind him.

"Yes, a very _merry_ Christmas indeed," Colin ground out through his clenched teeth.

"Don't be so despondent, Colin.  I come bearing gifts."

"Old Saint Nicholas has come to me, has he?  How lucky!" Colin exclaimed, his voice dripping with sarcasm.  The two men just regarded each other for a long time, neither saying anything.  Finally, curiosity got the better of the young Travers.  "What did you bring me?"

Quentin gave him a small smile.  "You are being transferred to another location, a more comfortable room."

Colin arched his eyebrow.  "Really?  I can't even imagine why you would do something like this for me, so I need to ask, what's in it for you?"

His father frowned.  "You displease me, Colin."

"Oh, what a surprise!  My father's displeased with me."

"Don't be such a child.  You can blame me and my lack of parenting skills all you want, but you got yourself into this mess, lad."

"I wouldn't have considered this if it wasn't for you."

Quentin released a hearty laugh.  "What a plan it was, my boy!  Allying yourself to that lunatic."  Colin's eyes darkened at the mention of Leila.  "You tried to undo all the Council's hard work.  I must admit I trained you well.  Your reasoning, while misguided at best, would have been a great triumph.  You found the prophecy, something thousands of men searched for.  You should be proud of yourself."

Colin snickered.  "Where is all this praise coming from?" he inquired.  "You are giving me a new cell, a better cell, and you are congratulating me on my attempt of sabotage.  What other surprises do you have for me, Quentin?"

"I told you, Merry Christmas."

"And good will toward men.  On second thought, _not_ all men.  Wretched vampire."

"Oh yes, William the Bloody.  He was another reason for this farce, wasn't he?"  Colin turned from his father's gaze.  "I'm sure it will please you then to hear that he and Ms. Summers have left England together."  Colin made no answer, but the fury growing in his body was becoming visible.  "I respect your initiative and covert operations, but, as I said, Colin, it was a faulty plan."

"Have any suggestion, St. Nick?"

A glint appeared in Quentin's eyes.  "Actually, I have a few."

"A-are you joking with me?"

"Does it look like I am?"

"B-but, it's-  I don't know what to say."

"Say 'yes'…and make the happiest woman in the world."

Spike looked down at Buffy on bended knee, clasping his hands.  His heart was slamming against his ribcage repeatedly, so hard he thought he might have a bruise later.  She was looking up at him, her green eyes sparkling and filled with love and anticipation.

"Buffy, I'm supposed to be doing this, not you."

She rolled her eyes.  "Don't get all Victorian on me, William."  Buffy reached into her tiny purse that sat on the table and retrieved a piece of tissue.  She unfolded the delicate paper and nestled inside was a skull ring, _his_ skull ring that he gave to her eight years ago.  "I am so in love with you," Buffy proclaimed.  La Luna Loca was absolutely silent, everyone's eyes and ears were on the famed couple.  Buffy held out the treasured symbol to Spike.  "Marry me?"

Spike inhaled sharply.  "Buffy, I- yes."

Buffy released the breath she unconsciously held and tears began to fall.  Spike lifted her to her feet and she slipped the ring onto his left ring finger.  "I love you," Spike whispered.

Applause erupted from the audience.  The pair smiled at each other, paying them no mind.  Buffy leapt into Spike's arms and he spun her around and around, holding her tightly.  After coming to a stop, he claimed her lips in the sweetest of kisses.

"Champagne for everyone!" Clem called out.  The applause continued as glasses were filled and congratulations voiced.

Clem lifted his glass.  "A toast!"  He searched for the right words to say.  He wasn't as eloquent as Spike, but he pressed forward as best he could.  " To Spike and Buffy.  Finally!"  Everyone chuckled and clinked glasses.

Buffy rested her forehead against her fiancé's.  "Merry Christmas, Spike."

"A very Merry Christmas," he corrected.

She stroked the sharp planes of his cheek, so soft.  "You said yes," she murmured.

Spike pulled her close to his beating heart.  "I can't believe you asked."

"You didn't suspect anything?"

Spike shook his head.  "How long have you been planning this?"

She lifted her head and stare deeply into his eyes.  "Since I said I love you."  She tilted her head to kiss him again.  She never doubted it for a second.  As soon as the thought entered her mind, she knew it was right.

He deepened the soft kiss, his tongue sweeping past her heavenly lips. He was soaring.  He felt complete happiness coursing through every working vein, every nerve ending in his body.  Two thoughts stuck in his mind.  One: the tiny ring box burning a hole in his duster pocket at home.  He was going to give it to her for an early Christmas present, his mother's ring, sized down to fit his love's slim fingers.  He couldn't wait to give it to her, but not until after the second thought.  He would go home tonight to their apartment and make passionate, never ending love to his future wife!

He wanted to leave right then and there.  He wanted to close them off for a night, open the balcony doors and let the breeze wrap around their forever entwined bodies as he proved over and over and over again just how much he loved her.  A purr rumbled through his chest.  Oh, God, he was getting married!

"So," Buffy breathed out, "I'm going to be Mrs. Elizabeth Anne Summers Curtis.  What do you think?"

Spike took her by the hand and led her to the dance floor.  Doris Day was singing and he wanted to dance with his fiancé.  "I don't think I've ever heard anything more wonderful, love."

He wrapped his arm around her tiny waist and led her in a tango.  "You're a natural, pet."

"Just had a good teacher," she corrected.

Suddenly, Spike thought of something.  "You're not pregnant, are you?"

Buffy laughed at the love of her life, her entire soul full of mirth.  "One thing at time, Spike."

He placed butterfly kisses down her neck, over his mark, sending a hot shiver through Buffy.  She moaned at his touch and pressed herself fully against him.  

"Would it be bad form for us to sneak out of here?" he wanted to know.

Buffy giggled and looked around.  Everyone was laughing and drinking champagne.  She looked around at her new friends and her sister; they were all talking and holding hands, Clem and Carlotta were kissing.  They were all so happy and content, but as much as she loved them…

Buffy turned towards her husband-to-be and kissed his chin.  "Nah.  Let's go home."

                                                   THE END

Shameless Plug Time or What's Next For Me:  I am starting up a new fic called Stairway to Paradise.  It is AU/fantasy loosely based on the movie, An American In Paris with Gene Kelly.  Keep an eye out for it, but first I need some recupe time.  Also I just completed and loaded a short holiday songfic called Skate Away if you are so interested.  Thanks you once again for the support:)


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